Hey, I guess I'm back I really felt kind of inspired to continue this story so please drop a review and let me know what you think.. good or bad.. Thank you so much for reading . I also wanted to thank 'Bastillesclub' for all her support through writing this it really means a lot thank you!
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The guilt in Clary grew as the weeks passed by, the arguments with her father grew more frequent as did the worried visits from Simon. Both her father and fiancé seemed to be breathing down her neck since the night at the club, Simon was convinced the golden man would be coming back for her, her father worried that she was a 'young defenceless woman' as he had put it and that he couldn't believe that he had ignored this for so long. This seemed to be the main cause of their fights, she didn't want to lose her independence and hated his misogynistic views and he thought she was too fragile to be leaving the house alone.
Her head swirled and she often found herself thinking back to that night, she had chosen not to tell Simon, in reality she had never consciously made that decision it just never happened. She found herself feeling quite the opposite to what most survivors of events such as these felt, she didn't feel trapped or feel the need to cry or talk about such events.
She'd been exposed to a new world that night, her eyes opened wider than ever before, everything seemed so much different now the filter on her world had been removed. Just thinking of that night she found her fingers itching for a pen a pencil to write, to draw. She daren't think of him too much for fear of his face appearing on her page, that picture could lead to his demise the one that links it all back to him, she couldn't bare to be the one to do that to him.
It was clear that he had been in the 'business' for a long time as he knew exactly what he was doing and did it so smoothly, like a second nature. Her heart leapt at the thought of him, their kiss. She felt overwhelmed with guilt not regret, guilt. She had never imagined she would be the kind of woman to be unfaithful, she heard of men being unfaithful all the time but a woman.
The only time she had heard of such a sin was from a lady who used to attend the local church, her name was Samantha if she could remember correctly she was the one who had admitted it saying she had know about an affair her husband had been having and thought it only right to use this opportunity to push for equal rights for women. A strange approach Clary had thought, although she was all for the movement of women's rights against her father's wishes, creating a poor image of herself through an affair did not seem as the best way forward.
This was one of the reasons she found herself so thankful to have a man such as Simon as her future husband and to have her father approve of their union. Simon was a modern man who seemed to almost think of Clary as his equal he cared for her as a gentleman would but he also listened to her opinions and views and was never dismissive or believed he had any hold over her just because she was soon to be his wife.
She pondered the views that the golden man might've had, Simon did not seem to be a fan of his for he cursed his name, not that he knew it ofcourse. She wondered if he believed in God like her father did or if he shared similar views to her where she could not quite grasp the concept. She didn't feel the need to believe in such things, not that she had any bad feelings towards it. It just wasn't for her not that she would ever be brave enough to share these views with her father. Unlike her father Simon was a man of science and therefore she found herself able to confide in him, he had been her outlet for such things from a young age when their friendship had began.
The golden man did not seem to belittle woman as many men did, or certainly not Isabelle anyway she seemed as though she was one of the only people in the world that held any power over him. She looked free as though she never knew the constraints that came with being born a woman at that time. Her body moved as though she held a power over everyone in that room and in some respects Clary guessed she did. Although she had no doubt neither Alec or Isabelle could hold the attention quite like the golden man did, he was their distraction and their leader the one really committing the biggest crime quite happily in front of every pair of eyes.
Throughout these past few weeks her thoughts always seemed to circle back to him, whether it was her fast approaching wedding day, the guilt she felt for not telling Simon; she couldn't possibly tell him now after keeping it quiet this long, he'd be heartbroken. She'd known for a long time that Simon was irrevocably in love with her, he had never told her this before their romantic relationship had started but she knew, as did everyone. He was undeniably her one true person, and she loved him more than life itself.
The thought that scared her most was the one that challenged this, the golden man had shown her another world, a different life. A new life, like she was waking up for the first time and not only was he filling her thoughts in that new life he was spilling over into this one filling her brain with thoughts of only him. Something Simon had never done.
The more she thought of him the more she thought of Simon, her mind almost constantly fluctuating between the two men. She was never normally the kind of girl to let a boy consume her thoughts, Simon so far has and only ever will be the man she has felt for.
There was no mystery with Simon, what you saw was what you got. He had always been there for as long as she could remember, everyone around them had always known and had always assume that they would end up together so typically she nor him had ever thought any different.
It had taken him a long time to admit his feelings for her, not that he didn't feel them he was just unsure as to whether she felt them too, he knew that at first she did not.
A clunk of the heavy wooden door drew her from her thoughts, rushed yet hushed voices caught her attention. It was a quiet neighbourhood where they lived nothing much tending to happen all that often and never had she known someone to visit her home at this hour of the night.
"Clarissa dear, stay up stairs would you please."
Her father's voice made it clear not to disobey, not that there would ever be much punishment if she did he would just be rather annoyed for a few hours before he gave in and apologised for something she had done.
She pushed her own slightly open door gently and slipped through moving to the top of the stairs, where she could just about hear her father's hushed voice welcoming the guests.
It sounded as if it were two men although one seemed to be the obvious leader the other there for security perhaps. Caps pulled over their heads as though wishing to mask their faces, not so much as to hide but just enough not to be noticed. Why would someone wishing to conceal their identity be meeting with her father at this hour.
The hushed voices grew a little louder, "Woah, woah Valentine it's quite the mess you seem to have gotten yourself into, it'll cost you if you wish for us to clean it up,"
"Yes I understand that Herondale but,"
"But what Valentine," his voice was sharp and malicious.
"I..I.." her father had never seemed so weak not since they'd lost her mother.
"You owe us a lot of money Valentine, a lot of time. You understand this can't end well for you, not unless it ends well for us."
"I know, I know I just it can be sorted I have an idea for a job, a big one," One of the4 men let out a familiar laugh, it was condescending almost humourless as though it grew form a cruel amusement.
"Please Herondale, I've got a daughter to care for, a wedding to care for." Her father was worried for her, her mind was wrapped in their conversation, lost in confusion. Her father was clearly mixed up in something bad enough for him to almost beg for help. Why hadn't he told her?
"You said that last time, old man." The man's voice was gruff almost as if he'd lost interest in the conversation.
"I had a good plan Herondale, there was just a few bumps in the road that I didn't see coming, that's all."
"No one ever thinks about what's down the road while the fairytale seems real, Valentine you better not disappoint this time."
"I won't." The determination in her father's voice pushed tears into her eyes, hearing scuffluling form below her she carefully pushed herself up trying to avoid making any noise.
It was now obvious why her father hadn't wanted her downstairs, just hearing the whole conversation left her shaken, she had no idea how she was supposed to see her father the next morning and pretend she had not heard a word.