A/N Apologies I have been off the radar ages :/ Christmas is a busy time! Anyway RECAP Alice co-owns LD with Dupe, Nomsa and Caroline are determined to see her married but she is kind of bitter and refuses so they do it covertly, then her ex husband Danny has came to LD on holiday, her (possible) sister Rosie has turned up too and is doing all she can to make Alice's life hell so she is seriously stressed out. She goes out for a drink one night with the girls gets a little too drunk, sees danny and goes out of her way to get a reaction from him, after kissing another man doesn't work she dances with terry to hers and Danny's song which hurts him, they then argue outside where you find out Danny has a criminal record… .oooo….I think that's it. Here we go!

Alice slowly became aware of a dull but persistent pounding in her head. She was sprawled face down on what she assumed was her bed mouth slightly open. She swallowed and realised her mouth was as dry as a desert. God what had she drunk last night? One eye creaked open and she found that yes indeed she was in her room, two bottles of whiskey on her nightstand, one empty and one half full.

"Eugh!" she groaned. "Never again…"

Forcing her body sideways she rolled onto her back and the whole room felt like it was spinning. She gripped the sides of her bed almost trying to steady herself as the moment passed. As she began to ponder why she let herself get into that state snatches of last night came back to her. A vivid memory of kissing some random man exploded in her mind and she closed her eyes trying to escape the memory. "You have got to be kidding me!" she moaned wincing. "That's is, I'm never drinking again!" what on earth had she been thinking? You do stupid stuff like that when you're a kid, not almost thirty….and as that thought came to a close she came to the realisation that although she was an adult Danny still made her feel like an insecure teenager who wasn't quite sure he loved her, who only married her because….she covered her face with her hands. Even on their wedding day she had needed reassurance from him. So he had said some words to her, simple words which had meant the world. Lyrics from a song christened as theirs, the song she had played last night knowing exactly the effect it would have on him. She still remembered every second of the words he said to her and now with that she had the memory of dancing with the wrong man while it was sang in the back ground. There was no possible way she could feel much worse about this! Not only that but on the morning of their wedding he had whispered the first verse in her ear. Depression descended that had little to do with her hangover, she had never loved anyone the way she'd loved Danny….

A soft knock of the door broke her musings and although she didn't feel up to visitors she best let someone in just to let them know she was still alive. "C'min." and she sat up rearranging her dress which was twisted around her.

Dupe came in carrying a steaming cup of coffee, on his shoulder rested his gun.

"Morning Dupe." and she sent him a wan smile.

"Try dinner time." he replied sitting on her bed and handing her the mug. "I checked on you after you passed out on the living room floor, I didn't think you'd want your impressionable younger sister to see you in that state so I carried you through." he said the words with sarcasm as they both knew Rosie had saw far worse then someone passed out from alcohol.

Alice's cheeks though were suddenly flaming at how she must have portrayed herself, "I'm so sorry Dupe! You shouldn't have to do stuff like that, I'm an adult!" she wanted to dive into her coffee and hide.

Dupe shook his head, "You needed someone to look after you last night."

"I owe you." she murmured looking at at him.

He simply smiled at her widely and nodded at her, "Nice panda eyes."

Alice closed her eyes, smiled and shook her head, "I look like hell huh?" and picked up her face wipes from her dresser.

"Just a little bit. You want to talk about it?" he probed.

She raised an eyebrow as she pulled a wipe from its holder. "What? Looking like hell?"

"Yeah." he agreed. "Or there are other things, you know, ex husbandy kind of things…."

She frowned eyes on her duvet a moment. "Not really. I need to talk to Danny."

Dupe nodded.

"What's with the gun?" tossed the wipes back on the dresser when she was done with them. "You don't usually carry them around the house." and she sipped the coffee Dupe brought her.

"You don't cry Alice." he told her seriously. "In all of the years you have been here I've never seen it and well, he upset you. If you told me he had hurt you I was going to shoot him and dispose of the evidence in the lion enclosure."

The shock of his statement caused Alice to gulp her coffee which made her cough and splutter, "What?"

He smiled, "Ok, that's is a bit over board, but I did intend on scaring him a little bit."

Alice shook her head, "You don't have to do that Dupe."

"Who else is going to take care of you?" he asked. And who else would she let take care of her he added silently.

Alice was sat there surprised. It felt like she had been on her own for so long, letting someone in was impossible, thinking they would take care of her if she needed it was unthinkable. "Danny is my ex husband." she finally admitted to him before she could talk herself out of it.

"I guessed as much." and scratched his bearded chin. "When you get to my age there is plenty of time to build up that kind of resentment but you two seem very young to dislike each other to that extent without a very good reason. The line between love and hate is very fine."

"Last night I…" She looked into the old mans eyes and saw nothing but concern for her so she knew she could carry on without judgement, "I did some things to try and get a reaction from him, things I'm not proud of. I could blame it on the alcohol but that is only partly at fault. It irritates me that he's so well, calm he acts like he doesn't care."

Dupe shook his head, "He's a man Alice it's what we do, especially if something hurts and we DO care."

"Well I pushed him…." her eyes saddened. "I really hurt him." she sighed. "I tried to go after him and try to apologise for it and he starts talking to me in a familiar tone and suddenly I'm ten years in the past and all this stuff just spewing from me and I couldn't stop it. There is so much baggage in out past Dupe, so much animosity…." Alice bowed her head.

Dupe patted her head a fatherly gesture, "You want my advice?"

She nodded unable to look up at him.

"Be the bigger man. Go down to his hut and apologise to him. He might accept it, he might not but in your heart you'll know you tried and when he leaves you will know this. You told me you regret things you didn't say in the past. The present doesn't have to be the same."

"I don't even know where he is, I threatened to shoot him if he came back here." finally raising her head

Dupe smiled, "I'm a bad influence of you." and patted her cheek. "He has to come back eventually if he wants his passport. Its in our safe. Go on, go shower, then see him. He's a good guy, he'll listen."

Alice studied him confused. "How do you know he's a good guy?"

"First of all you married him and you're a pretty good judge of character and second, last night he hugged you when you cried, that's what good guys do, even if they are angry."

"You're a good guy Dupe." she murmured. "And if you were ten years younger and unmarried I'd snap you up." she joked.

He stood up and patted her head again. "I may be good but I'm not that good." and he made his way to the door. "Shower." he reminded, then left her alone with her thoughts.

After drinking the coffee Dupe gave her, downing three aspirin and standing under a hot shower she felt almost human enough to face the world but not to face Danny yet. She had a lot of grovelling to do not to mention what was going to be a very emotional conversation that was long overdue. Here she was sat in her kitchen in front of a plate of untouched toast trying to muster up the courage to go down and see him.

The house was quiet, Dupe had told her that Caroline, Nomsa and Rosie were on a supply run and he was going over to Mara to do some tracking. She had to get down to her surgery and do her rounds, but once again she couldn't seem to get Danny off her mind. Dupe had told her he hugged her when she cried. She didn't remember that, well she had a flash of a feeling, she'd been so upset she couldn't think and then the strangest thing happened she felt…well soothed. Like although it still hurt it was more an ache than a gaping wound. She lowered her head and scrubbed her face searching within herself for some detachment. This thing with Danny may take a while so she'd better do her rounds and then face him. Yeah, her animals always seemed to centre her so she'd think it though down there a while.

Danny climbed out of the truck at the entrance of Leopards Den some time after dinner time. He planned on going right to his hut to pack his case and get out of here but he had the problem of his passport. They were kept in the safe of the main house for safe keeping. Had he kept it in his case like he planned he wouldn't be having this problem right now!

He trudged up to the house feeling queasy, he'd drank far too much before falling into bed at a local B&B. He felt rough as hell, the bed he'd slept in hadn't been anywhere as nice as the one in the huts. His clothes were rumpled and his eyes were red rimmed. All he wanted was some strong coffee and a hot shower.

He heard a noise behind him and jumped, he saw a warthog wandering and exhaled. To be honest he wasn't sure how long he was going to last, if Alice didn't follow through on her threat to shoot him then Dupe would most certainly do the deed for her. Checking his watch he found the time to be closer to two pm then dinnertime. Alice had told him she spent most of her time in the surgery so maybe it would be safe to go up to the house ask someone to get his passport and he'd be out of here! No need to see her! No need to hear her blame him for past events! No need to feel the hatred they were capable of spewing at each other…..he walked up the steps and knocked on the front door.

Alice exited her surgery after lingering longer than was necessary searching for small mundane jobs to distract her instead of facing the big one ahead. She was just delaying the inevitable though so head bowed she walked outside into the sunshine and made the trek towards the house kicking small rocks as she went. Alice was half way towards the house when she thought she smelled something burning, raising her head to look around she saw a solitary figure walking up the stairs to the house and the thought was forgotten.

The instinctive reaction and the one she would have chosen years ago would be to duck her head leave, she was an adult now though and couldn't hide from this any longer, she had wronged him and that was why she had to swallow her pride and go to him. So before she could change her mind she made the trek up to the house, her stride slower and a lot less authoritative then she would have liked.

She was a few feet from the stairs when Danny turned around and noticed her. Alice immediately halted and from across the distance they looked at each other. Danny suddenly shook his head and searched for an exit where he didn't have to approach her. She continued her trek an was at the bottom of the stairs before he could move. She looked up at him sheepishly, "Danny we need….."

He cut her off, "Every time our eyes meet, this feeling inside me is almost more then I can take."

She felt her throat growing tight. "Danny I…." she began to shake her head.

"Baby when you touch me I can feel how much you love me and it just blows me away."

Alice saw the anger in his eyes and felt the words in the way they were intended, he meant to hurt her like she hurt him. "I…."

"I've never been this close to anyone or anything!" he hissed taking a step towards her. "I can HEAR your thoughts. I can SEE your dreams!"

Alice couldn't stand it anymore, "Just stop it!"

"Not nice is it?" he asked voice cold. "When someone takes something special and twists it into something bad!"

"No its not." she agreed. "But I was drunk, what's your excuse?"

"To give you a taste of your own medicine!"

Alice couldn't deny she deserved it so she let it lie, she had yet to apologise thought so she inhaled deeply, "I get it Danny, I deserve your anger and all the rest of it I'm sorry. I just…." she shook her head. "I'm sorry."

Danny heard her apology but it was the unspoken words which intrigued him, what had she been about to say? What was so important about them that she went to say it then stopped. His curiosity getting the better of him he asked, "You just what?" his arms crossed. "You were going to say something then stopped. What were you going to say?"

Alice looked at him a moment then walked up the stairs to the house and opened the front door. "It doesn't matter." she'd said her apology, they were done now.

He took her by the arm, "Yes it does." he didn't know why but he had to know what she was going to say.

She looked at him, "What I meant is it doesn't matter to me."

He looked in her eyes and he could see that was she was withholding mattered to her a lot more then she was willing to admit to herself. "Alice talk to me, what is it?" his voice softer than before.

Alice heard the tone and yanked her arm away like she'd been burned. "Don't talk like we're friends Danny, we aren't! We haven't been in a long time!" his voice evoking long dead memories of being close to him, of when she needed to talk he would be there ready and willing…..

"We were friends though Alice!" he protested. "At one time you were my best friend and I could tell you anything! What happened to us?"

"We aren't kids anymore are we? Now we know better then relying on one person so much!" she rubbed her eyes. "No good comes from telling you…."

"Telling me what?" he asked issuing a challenge.

She wasn't going to tell him she was going to walk in the house and do something else but Dupes voice echoed I her head asking her whether she wanted this to be another regret. And no her words didn't condone what she did but maybe he would understand….. "It hurt how easily it seemed you had moved on!" she told him hetaedly. "I hated that you didn't care that I was kissing someone else! You're my husband Danny you're not supposed to be ok about that! And I'm sorry if I'm being petty but…." she sighed. "I didn't know what else to do to get your attention and find out if you care at all! Maybe it was to get a reaction but not in the way you think! And I'm sorry you have a criminal record but I never asked you to do anything for me! I told you to leave it alone, actually I begged you! A few times!"

His face twisted. "The bruises on you Alice! I loved you, how could I let him do that to you? As a husband I had a duty to protect you, to make sure he never laid a finger on you again!"

As he finished his statement they just looked at each other remembering the repercussions of that day.

"Do you…." they began together. "I don't…." they quieted realising they were echoing the other.

"Go ahead Alice." he told her.

She nodded. "I think I owe you at least. I just want to tell you I don't blame you for anything and my saying I did blame you was just pain and alcohol talking. I never could handle my drink." she gestured him into the house and into the kitchen. Sat down at the kitchen table knowing that outside where anyone could come wasn't the place to do this.

Danny looked at her an unusual expression in his face. "Things didn't always used to be so bad between us, how did we let it get to this?"

"I know." she murmured sittting opposite him. "It was so easy when we first married, then in a blink of an eye it felt like the whole world was against us."

"Do you ever wonder?" he asked softly. "You know, if all that and stuff didn't happen…."

Alice turned her head to look at him, "Wonder if we'd still be together?"

He nodded.

Alice was silent as her mind replayed all the happier times in their life together. Danny taking her dancing even though he hated it, the way he used to tickle her until she couldn't breathe. Falling asleep in his arms hearing the beat of his heart and knowing that this was the only place she needed to be, anywhere else was just second best. Of course after those nice memories came the bad ones. The cold silences and the unspoken accusations. The pain that never ended, knowing she needed him so much and for the first time he wasn't there for her. She cleared her throat feeling emotional, "I don't know. All I do know is that I still loved you, my leaving had nothing to do with loving you, I didn't know what else to do."

He nodded. "I didn't either, when you left all I had was that note saying that you had to go. You didn't say you loved me on that note, just goodbye. It sounded so final. I didn't know whether to follow you or fight for you. I was a mess for a while waiting for you to get in contact, everywhere I looked I could see you in our flat, I kept telling myself you'd get in touch eventually but then you didn't and my head went even more crazy imagining all these other things. I wondered if you ever loved me, I wondered whether everyone was right, that we were too young and rushed into marriage."

His face was full of the uncertainty he must have felt back then. Alice couldn't look away, she had thought he didn't care!

"Not going after you was on of the hardest things I ever did but I didn't know what to think. You left behind your house keys, like you had no intention of coming back. I thought you'd call….." he shrugged not knowing what else there was to say.

Alice looked at him mouth slightly open. He had been waiting for her to get in touch while she had been waiting for him! "Everything was so raw back then, we lost each other…." she closed her eyes as she knew they were speeding towards the inevitable conversation. The thought made her chest ache.

Danny saw how distressed she was and covered her hand with his own. "We don't have to talk about this. We've apologised for what's happened and explained about the past…."

Alice didn't want to talk about it but it was such a massive part of their life and they owed it to themselves to at least try and work through it. They couldn't act like it never happened, like it wasn't real…. "What happened back then…" she began voice croaky. "We were just too young to deal with it..." shook her head. "We were kids out of our depth…" she faltered, struggling to find the words.

He nodded and bowed his head.

"Maybe if we had been older, wiser, we might have been able to handle it better." she added.

"Do you th…." a truck rumbled up and Danny's statement was cut off.

Alice wiped her eyes and tried to school her features. This wasn't something to talk about with an audience.

The front door flew open and Rosie stomped in, obviously in a foul mood. She saw Alice and Danny sat together in the kitchen and Alice saw her demeanour darken further…. this wasn't going to end well!

A/N Awwww Danice needed that, too bad they were interrupted, and Rosie is angry :/ Not good! Next chappie we find out the truth about Rosie, daughter or sister AND the details on Dannys criminal record, read on! x