A/N RECAP - There is a massive bush fire going on at the divide between Mara and Leopards Den, Alice is helping fight it, Danny wants to help too but Alice and Vanessa wouldn't let him as guests don't get involved he found a way onto the site and there was an explosion and the fuel tank on a truck was ruptured, Danny noticed it and drove it away to keep Alice safe, Alice noticed him as he drove off, there was an explosion in the distance…..

Alice stared into the distance not really even aware of what she was seeing, the black smoke spiralling up into the sky marring the pristine white clouds. Sweat from the heat of the nearby fire dripped from her forehead into her eyes but she didn't try to wipe it away.

"Alice?" Dupe murmured into her ear, concerned that she wasn't fighting him anymore. When she didn't reply he loosened his hold just a fraction.

That was all Alice needed, she yanked herself free from her captor and ran in the direction in which Danny had drove. It wasn't a hard trail, the tyre tracks were still there, deeply embedded into the ground. She didn't feel the twigs as they whipped her face, she didn't feel the burning from her lungs or the rubbery sensation in her legs, the sole thought in her mind was getting to Danny and seeing that he was alright. She burst into a clearing and stumbled almost falling to her knees, straight ahead of her was a fire engine spraying an over turned truck which was a ball of flames.

"No…no…" she whispered shaking her head chest feeling tight all of a sudden, moisture flooded her eyes. This couldn't be right, if he was hurt then she'd know, that was how it worked….. "Danny?" she whispered as she walked towards the truck, scared to see the truth. She was halfway over when she noticed a group of people crowded around something. It was obscured from sight but….hope bloomed in her chest, what if he hadn't been in the truck when it exploded? Alice began to move faster until she was running towards them. She rounded the men and saw Danny lain face down. The men looking at each other puzzled as to what to do.

"Maybe we need to turn him over…." one suggested.

"Don't touch him!" she ordered lowering down to her knees. Her hand rested across his neck and found a strong pulse, "Ok…" she murmured. His heart was beating and he was breathing. "Call an ambulance!" she added and placed her hands around his head cradling it gently, "Danny, can you hear me?"

He lay face down, the left side of his face looked all grazed. Panic began to rise when she saw a trickle of blood down his forehead. She wanted to check him over properly, but she couldn't really do that in his current position, maybe he had some sort of injury to his stomach. Rule number one in this sort of situation was that you didn't move them incase they had some sort of spinal injury but she needed to make sure…."Look you two…" she said to two of the men stood nearby. "..I need your help. We're gonna roll him. I'll hold his head and neck, you get his waist and you the feet. Make sure it's a nice smooth roll and we all move at the same time. On three ok?"

The men got into position and she looked at them. "When I say three gently roll him to the left." Alice then grasped his head and neck within her two hands holding them steady. "Ready?" she asked.

The men nodded and she began her countdown, "One… two… three…"

Danny was smoothly rolled onto his back and Alice moved from the top of his head to his side and she looked at him cataloguing his injuries. Everything looked fine….but she couldn't say that for sure as she was an animal doctor! "Do one of you have a torch?"

The men were fumbling in their pockets when Alice once again tried to rouse Danny, "Danny, it's Alice, can you hear me?"

Danny's head moved a fraction.

"Danny?" she asked louder, "Look Danny you're going to be ok…."

Danny's eyes opened slowly and he was looking up at Alice's concerned face. She smiled down at him.

"I need to…" he began tiredly trying to sit up.

Alice put her hands on his shoulders and put him back down gently a memory exploded in her mind but she forced it away needing to focus right now. "I need you to stay still for…" she cleared her throat as the final word died "…just stay still yeah?"

He seemed to relax back, "My head is pounding." he murmured voice distant.

Someone handed her a torch, "Danny I'm going to check your pupils ok?" if he had some sort of head injury she needed to know whether to try and keep him conscious. Where the hell was this ambulance? She thought angrily looking around.

"Mmm." he replied and she shone the light to see if his pupils reacted. They did and she exhaled in relief, her back seemed to lose consistency and she lowered slightly. She found her hand running slowly down his cheek of its own accord, "You shouldn't have done that you know. It was dangerous."

He looked at her and his eyes seemed to focus, "The fuel tank was ruptured, you could have been hurt."

She stared at him silent for a moment, he had been trying to protect her? She shook off the feeling, "Well you were hurt!" took a jacket from a nearby man and bunched it up placing it under Danny's head, "You're ok now though."

A siren blared in the distance, a man stood nearby to wave so they knew where to stop. All too soon it screeched to a halt and Alice moved aside to give them space they needed to work. She could hear Danny speaking drowsily to the paramedics but still felt sick with fear. What was he thinking? He could have been seriously hurt! Ok they weren't married anymore bu….and then it hit her. They weren't married anymore and she was acting like this! She began to back away slowly shaking her head needing some distance when a paramedic motioned her over. "He wants you to come with him."

"I have to go…." she said voice shaking, "Fire." and she pointed to the distance.

"I'll tell Dupe you had to go." one of the men told her. "It was almost under control, I'm sure he'd understand with how worried you are…."

The fact that everyone had read her concern so easily made her feel ill. The paramedic was also looking at her expectantly and she felt like she had no choice. Nodding her assent she walked over to Danny's side. His eyes were closed and she tried to again ignore the fear that began to bubble inside. "Is he ok?" she asked as they wheeled him towards the ambulance.

"Yes, the bump to his head has made him a little drowsy, its completely normal."

Alice nodded slowly knowing the feelings coursing through her were anything but normal in regard to an EX husband!

He was rolled inside and she followed sitting by his side, hands twined together on her lap. As they bounced along the rutted road Danny moaned in pain and her hand shot to his and clutched it tightly, she told him that everything was going to be ok….even though she felt like her life was beginning to spiral out of control.

Alice sat on the stairs on her veranda looking out at the dark night, the scent of smoke still hung oppressively in the air reminding her of events earlier today she was keen to forget. The fire was out, that was the main thing but the stars before her didn't shine as bright. She was sat here trying to figure out a way to rewind time so the last 24 hours didn't happen, possibly even try to find a way to make it so Danny didn't come here and her perfect little world could have remained undisturbed.

She bowed her head rubbing it tiredly, everyone was at Mara, well except for her and Danny. Danny had been given some pretty heavy duty pain killers in hospital and she was advised to bring him straight home and to bed. She obviously couldn't put him to bed in the huts and as she mulled the idea she found herself putting him in her room….and as she sat here she was trying not to probe the reasons behind that too much. Over and over again she told herself that his room needed clean bedding on and she was dirty and tired but it didn't quite ring true…I mean she was going to have to do that for herself because if he was in her room she wasn't going to stay in there too was she!

Danny was being hailed a hero, he had saved a lot of people from being hurt by driving that truck away yet all she could think about was how HE was almost killed. It was hard to imagine a world in which he wasn't a part of it. It was wrong to feel like this, more than that it was dangerous but she couldn't get him off her mind in a different way then before. She constantly wondered what it would be like to make him smile like he used to, what would make him laugh, just to sit and talk to him like they used to, get to know each other again…..this was the fatigue talking. It had been a highly emotional tiring day and she should really get to bed….and yet here she was, staring at the night sky thinking of Danny, thinking of their son, but most of all thinking of all the things she wanted yet could never be.

Lights appeared in the distance and the rumble of a truck approached. The engine died by the front door and she saw Dupe sat studying her.

His voice floated across the air to her, "Thought I'd see you at Mara."

She didn't look up, just shrugged her shoulders.

Dupe climbed from the truck and knelt to look at her face. He saw her troubled expression and took a step towards her, "You ok Alice?"

"Just tired." she sighed. She was emotionally and physically drained. She couldn't take much more if she was honest.

He walked up the steps and sat beside her. "You did good today." he began softly. "Danny too." the fire had been extinguished long ago. He had came here as he had been worried about her.

"He shouldn't have been there!" she told him her fists clenched. "I told him to stay away! That was always his problem he never listened to me, especially when it mattered!" she snapped. She released the breath which seemed to clog her chest and bowed her head as her fisted hands came to rest upon her forehead. "Didn't he know he could have been hurt?" she almost whispered.

"He seemed to be more worried about you." Dupe admitted in a gentle tone. His heart breaking for Alice, he knew exactly what she was going through, even if right now she didn't.

"Was he?" she asked quickly. Then she shook her head almost rejecting the notion. "It doesn't matter what he felt or did! I told him to not get involved. This has happened before when he ignored me! When we were married and we….. I told him guests don't get involved." she quieted. She felt her eyes well up and she bowed her head further, the emotions inside her warring to be released.

"He's not just another guest though is he?" Dupe again said in his hypnotisingly gentle tone.

"Of course he is….he's…he…" Alice just couldn't fight it anymore and closed her eyes, her vpice low and tire, "You know what Dupe, once upon a time he was everything to me all we had was each other and now…." she rubbed her face unable to put into words what she felt. "Sometimes I look at him and I hate him so much but at the same time I feel….I don't know what I feel." she covered her face feeling confused.

Dupe put his arm around her shoulders, "You're tired, its been a terrible day. You'll feel much better in the morning, go to bed."

Alice shook her head, "I can't, I put Danny in my room."

Dupe's head whipped around so fast he should have whiplash, "You what!?"

"C'mon Dupe, he's ill and needs his sleep. Plus its been over ten years, it'd just be weird now."

Dupe coughed uncomfortable with the topic of conversation, "Can we move on from talking about that? I mean I'm practically your parent!" he just had to move on from talking about this part of her life. He was aware it existed but mostly tried to ignore it.

"Oh, so you're mama Dupe?" she asked leaning into his hold.

"Damn straight!" he declared. "And mama Dupe has claws!" he chuckled.

Alice smiled and closed her eyes. Dupe sat still looking out at the night sky. "He have any permanent damage?" Dupe finally asked.

Alice shook her head, "Concussion, cuts and bruises. He was lucky. He'll be sore in the morning though."

Dupe nodded. "Well if he is alright then why aren't you in there, in a different room to him resting?" he probed. He knew of course but maybe Alice needed so gentle coaxing to examine the feelings which were causing her so much confusion.

"I can't get my mind to turn off, it keeps running in circles….I heard that explosion today and it felt like someone had packed my chest full of rocks and even now I can still feel that tightness…." she looked at Dupe. "…I'm not supposed to feel like that about him Dupe."

"It's understandable Alice, he's your ex husband…."

"Yeah Dupe, EX husband, that kinda implies that any feelings we had are long gone."

"That's true of an ex boyfriend but a husband, its more than that. You two have stuff that bonds you together, the vows you made can't just be erased because you two don't love each other anymore. They still exist…."

Dupe wasn't aware of everything that bonded them together and she knew she had to tell him, if she didn't do it now she never would and that wasn't fair to him. "It's not just that Dupe." she inhaled deeply readying herself, "Me and Danny we had….have….had a child."

Dupes eyes were as wide as saucers, "You're a mother?"

She nodded. "I was. To a beautiful little boy called Thomas, we lost him. A new family has him now…" she laughed without humour as her brow furrowed. "He'll be a teenager now…" covered her face as tears splashed over her lashes, "I wouldn't recognise my own son if I passed him on the street."

He turned his face and pressed a kiss to her hair. "You must have had your reasons…" he murmured patting her head affectionately.

Alice looked at him, eyes still swimming.

"How'd you lose your boy?"

"It wasn't our choice, or maybe it was in some ways. It seemed the best thing at the time but as the years pass I think that we should have done something different, I should have ignored….." she swallowed. "…it was just a mess Dupe and we were just kids playing at being grown ups and because of that we lost our little boy. Nothing has been the same between us since that day and….I just can't feel that way about him anymore. I know if I do something bad will happen and that I'll get hurt and I don't think I can take anymore…."

Dupe heard her voice gradually raising and knew Alice was on the verge of hysteria, "Hey, hey, hey." he coaxed. "You're exhausted, physically and emotionally. You need to get yourself to bed and sleep on it. The Danny problem can be dealt with later, right now you need to take care of you."

Alice nodded allowing the older man to calm her down, she knew he was talking sense. She pulled herself to her feet lethargically, bent over and kissed Dupes cheek then walked inside.

Dupe remained where he was worried about Alice and the feelings she was trying to understand.

Alice walked into the house determined to have a quick shower and then go to bed….only to find herself hesitating as she passed her bedroom door. Her head bowed as she listened intently for any sounds within. Everything in the house seemed unnaturally silent. Should she check on him? Maybe the doctors were wrong! Maybe he was really ill in there, maybe…..Alice mentally slapped herself, he was fine, the doctors at hospital weren't stupid! Annoyed at herself for thinking that way she scowled and walked towards the shower….until she remembered she needed clean pyjamas from her room as well as her shower bag. It would have been in the bathroom had it not been for Rosie using all he toiletries! Bloody little sisters! Turning she once again walked towards her bedroom, she had to go in there but she wasn't going in to check on him! She was just going in to get her stuff! She wasn't even going to look in his direction, just get in and get out, well maybe she might look that way, but only if she totally had to!

As she reached the doorway and placed her hand on the handle she pushed it effortlessly and entered her room, the first image she saw was Danny lain half on his side, the covers pushed low on his waist exposing his bare chest. His breathing was slow and deep and Alice expelled the breath she hadn't even known she had been holding. At least he was ok, that was something.

On soundless feet she crossed the room and opened her wardrobe, pulled out some shorts and a t-shirt as the night was warm. As she went to get her shower bag she heard Danny begin to turn over and groan loudly. Without thinking she dropped her things to the floor and went to him, her hands on his shoulders helping him to turn over before she was even aware of what she was doing. Danny grimaced and must have felt her touch as he opened his eyes and peered at her. "Alice?" he croaked, voice scratchy. "So it wasn't a dream." he added.

When he was settled Alice picked up the glass from the bedside cabinet and offered him it, "Here."

Danny sipped and it eased the throbbing in his throat.

"Better?" she asked.

"Yeah thanks." he replied, voice still hoarse.

Alice nodded and looked at him all her earlier protests forgotten, "How you feeling?"

He smiled wryly, "Like I jumped from a moving vehicle. I suppose I'm alive though which is something."

The fear Alice felt when she heard explosion filled her and she felt sick., "You can't do that." her expression half angry and half scared.

"Do what?" his voice low and tired.

"Run into the fire, drive away. Do things which are dangerous. It feels too much like years ago when we were together! You have no idea what it does to me!"

Danny sat up his whole body in burning pain. "I did it to keep you and everyone else there safe from something which could have been incredibly harmful! I was scared for you too you know. You couldn't expect me to do nothing while you were in danger!"

"I live here! This is what I do when I need to! You have nothing here to protect."

"Really?" he asked her. "Is that what you think?"

"No, its what I know!"

"You're here!" he snapped.

"I don't care what happens to m…." she closed her eyes as what was happening between them occurred to her. "We shouldn't be doing this. You're unwell and I'm tired, we're both saying things we don't mean." she tried to stand up but he grabbed her hand and grasped it tightly.

"When else?" he challenged. "When we're both fully awake and too scared or too bloody stubborn to admit it!"

Alice scowled. "We have nothing of substance to say to each other, whatever we do or say now means nothing, there are extenuating circumstances!"

Danny's face twisted, "That is so you, do you know that? There's always a reason for something. Why can't we just say something and mean it? Why do you have to find reasons for why we shouldn't be doing it?" he was thoroughly irritated now, "Well guess what!" he told her heatedly. "I think there are things we need to say to each other!" he tried to sit up straighter but grimaced. Alice was there immediately helping him, smoothing the pillows back. When he was comfortable he looked at her while she looked anywhere but at him.

"You know what this reminds me of?" he asked softly. Memories of other times her hands and words soothed him filling his mind.

She was trying now to! "I need to get…." she began standing up.

He once again stopped her by holding her hand tightly, this time resolving not to let go until this was out in the open. "It reminds me of the first time you found out how vicious my dad could be."

Her blue eyes turned almost black as what he was remembering came to her too. "I don't think about those times."

"I knew you wouldn't, doesn't mean they didn't happen." he murmured. "It was a turning point for us in a way. It could have made us or broke us, its why it took me so long to tell you about him."

Alice bowed her head, "How could you think I'd think any less of you?"

Danny looked beyond her, "You know what I was like back then…."

A/N hello everyone long time no...well, yeah. Anyway going to try and get these up a little quicke from now on as the gaps just seem to be getting bigger as my life gets busier. Hope all of you are well :)
Next chappie are flash back chappies that explain much of 'younger danice's' life including Thomas oooo lol This story seems to be taking an interesting turn, i hadn't planned for what is coming but it seems to be evolving that way naturally, hopefully it'll all work out!
Not the best chappie but it needed to be so there we are. Thanks for reading x