Soda stretched out on the bed, yawning, as Pony sorted through their pile of laundry. He was looking for a shirt to wear to bed and finally settled for Darry's old University of Oklahoma T-shirt.

"Hey, Pony, you going to turn out that light, man? We both have to be up early," Soda said with his eyes closed.

He didn't know if his brothers had realized it, but Soda wasn't getting a lot of sleep lately. He wasn't up all night, but had been getting up at odd hours, unable to get back to sleep after being jolted awake by disturbing dreams. They weren't the kind of nightmares that made him wake up screaming, but he did find himself needing to check on both Pony and Darry to be sure they were okay. Then, Soda would need a drink or some fresh air to ground himself back into reality and calm down. These dreams, though they were simply subconscious expressions of fears he harbored, felt very real. They were the nonsensical result of the swirl of emotions he couldn't seem to shake. Soda would wake up confused and disoriented before his eyes landed on his little brother. That moment always helped pull him back into a sense of security.

"Soda, can I talk to you for a minute?" Pony asked, after darkness had engulfed the room and both boys lay listening to the fading sounds of rain and thunder.

"Sure, what's up?" Soda replied, not surprised by Pony's question since it wasn't unusual for them to talk before drifting off to sleep.

"You do know you can talk to me about anything, right? I'm here for you."

"Yeah, Pone. I know."

Soda took a deep breath and blinked back the tears in his eyes. He really didn't want to do this right now. Besides, he didn't have the words to describe the nagging knot of fear and grief that was plaguing him.

"Okay. It's just, well, you're always here for me. You always listen, and you understand everyone better than anyone else I know. Like how you understood Darry when I sure couldn't, but you got me at the same time," Pony told his brother.

I just wish I could understand myself, Soda thought. Before he could say anything else, Pony spoke again.

"And I know I was wrapped in the middle of everything with Johnny and Dal, but that doesn't mean you can't tell me if it's still bothering you. I miss them too."

Soda considered this. Pony was right that he'd been right in the middle of everything. Pony had been the one Johnny rescued from drowning when he stabbed Bob Sheldon. Pony had been at the burning church in Windrixville. He'd also been there at the hospital when Johnny died before the whole gang saw Dallas get shot. What Pony could not realize though was how Soda had been trapped in the center of endless turmoil since they lost their parents nearly ten months ago. As the middle Curtis brother, the gang's year of uninvited change, trauma, and sudden grief had continuously pulled him in different directions. Soda was now suffering in an internal tug-of-war that threatened to tear him apart with a mass of fear, guilt, and sorrow.

"I do miss them, Pony. I miss all of them," Soda managed to say, as a few tears leaked from his eyes.

Soda didn't mean to cry then, but Pony's words touched his aching soul and brought a sense of validation to his emotions.

"I love you, Sodapop," Pony uttered softly.

Soda thought about the reason he and Pony had begun sharing a room in the first place. Pony had started experiencing terrifying nightmares shortly after their parents' fatal accident, and Soda had been able to calm him down. Pony slept much more peacefully with his brother next to him. The irony was that Soda needed him now too. Pony may not know it yet, but he was doing plenty for Soda simply with his presence.

"I love you too, Pone. Good night," Soda added, as he tossed an arm around his little brother.

Soda struggles to pull his head above the water that is swallowing him. He tries to take a breath, but only sucks in more water. He feels himself starting to float away as another crashing wave drags him even farther down. He starts to close his eyes to let the tide sweep him away, but suddenly hears a sound coming from above him. Soda hears voices and looks up. Staring back at him are Darry and Pony, and they're calling his name. They stretch their hands out to reach him, but they disappear just as he begins to reach for them. In their place appear Steve and TwoBit. His friends try to reach for him too, but before Soda can take the offered hands, he looks down. There he sees something dark grab for his ankle, dragging him deeper into the wild water. Soda's eyes search for the identity of this thing, but all he sees gazing back at him is his own reflection.

Soda jolted awake, removing himself from the grip of the unnerving and horrific dream. He immediately looked over to see Pony, resting in an undisturbed slumber. Soda sighed, realizing that he won't be going back to sleep anytime soon. He quietly lifted himself from the bed and padded down the hall to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw the sweat on his forehead. "You're fine," he whispered to his reflection, as he rinsed his face with cold water.

Soda left the bathroom and gently pushed open Darry's door. He peered over at the bed to see Darry wrapped in his comforter and sound asleep. Soda pulled the door closed before he wandered into the kitchen. He took a seat at the table and gazed out the window. Whenever he woke up during the night, this was his routine. He couldn't just lay in bed, struggling to sleep. He had to get up and move around, or he'd be even more tired.

Deciding he needed some fresh air, Soda grabbed a light jacket from the rack by the front door and pulled it on before stepping out into the chilly early morning. He hadn't checked the time, but he guessed it must be around 4:00 a.m. They all still had a few hours before work and school started. He took a seat on the step next to the porch railing and tried to relax.

Soda didn't even hear the door open before he saw Darry looking at him, obviously concerned.

"What are you doing out here, little buddy? It's 4:30 in the morning, " Darry asked, sitting down next to Soda.

"I could ask you the same thing. Just sitting. Couldn't sleep," Soda decided to say, figuring it was at least partially the truth.

"I got up to go to the bathroom and noticed you weren't in your bed. But, Soda, it isn't like you not to sleep. What's going on?"

Soda met Darry's eyes, and upon discerning the genuine care and love in his gaze, he chose to speak more of the truth. "I've been having pretty bad dreams, Dar. It's hard to get back to sleep, so I just get up."

"What are they about?" Darry inquired, still watching his brother.

"They don't really make sense to me. But in this one, I was drowning, and you guys couldn't get to me."

Darry moved to wrap an arm around Soda before speaking again. "Soda, I watch you with Pony all the time, and I just want to tell you that's exactly how I feel about you. You don't have to keep anything to yourself. I know something is bugging you. Please let me be your big brother."

Darry had stepped up to be both Pony and Soda's guardian at such a young age, but he was like a fierce, protective brother bear. Soda may have only been a few years younger, but he still needed that. By the same token, Pony was only a few years younger than Soda, but he was there for him in the same way Darry wanted to be there for Soda in this moment.

"Talk to me, little buddy. Even if it's only a little. That's still a start," Darry urged.

"I'm just tired, Darry, and I miss our friends and our parents. And I guess I feel nervous and scared a lot too. It's just a lot has happened, you know?" Soda knew he was being vague. "I mean, I want to tell you. I just don't really have the words yet."

"It's okay, Pepsi Cola."

Soda laid his head on Darry's shoulder and felt his arm tighten around him. This may not be what Darry had had in mind when he'd said it, but this was Soda letting him be his big brother. He felt protected and loved, wrapped in the cocoon of comfort that was his older brother shielding him from the world and from himself.