Darry slowly turned the door knob, peeking in at Soda. He saw his brother fast asleep on his and Pony's bed before he glanced around, walking farther inside. Next to Soda was a copy of a car magazine Darry remembered him reading before, and he smiled, as he moved it to the bedside table. He was about to wake Soda when he also saw their dad's old Roy Rogers pocket knife on the floor next to the bed. Darry wondered where Soda had found that, as he picked it up and placed it next to the magazine. He gently shook his brother's shoulder, and Soda's eyes blinked open.

"Hey, little buddy. We're home," Darry said.

Before Darry realized what was happening, Soda had wrapped his arms tightly around his neck. He was surprised but didn't hesitate in hugging him back.

"Rough night?" Darry asked, pulling away to look at Soda.

"Yeah, you could say that. So what happened? Did the truck start?" Soda quickly changed the subject.

"Yeah, it did. Just needed a new battery. I should've guessed. It had that old one a while. James drove me to find a new one this morning," Darry explained.

"Steve still here?"

"He is. He's up, but I think he's getting ready to go."

Soda followed Darry back into the living room, where Pony was reading a book. Soda sat down next to him, pulling his little brother into a one-armed hug. If Pony was surprised, he chose not to comment, hugging Soda back for a moment.

"What are you reading?" Soda wondered.

"It's Lord of the Flies. It's a book for my English class. I actually like it though," Pony replied.

"Of course you do! You always like those book no one can understand cause we ain't as smart as you!" Soda commented, laughing and playfully shoving Pony.

Darry was pulling out a box of Aunt Jemima pancake mix, milk, and eggs, having decided they could eat a late breakfast. It was almost noon, but he knew both Soda and Pony liked breakfast food any time of day. "You going to eat with us, Steve?" he asked.

"Thanks, man. I had a bowl of cereal earlier this morning," Steve said.

Steve appeared to be thinking about something, as he looked at Darry placing the frying pan on the stove, then glanced toward the living room, where they could hear Pony and Soda talking.

"Something on your mind?" Darry asked Steve.

Steve sighed, coming to stand next to him. "I can't say too much right now cause it's about Soda, but I need to talk to you later," he said, almost whispering.

Darry only nodded to show he'd heard Steve. He hadn't gotten Soda to say a whole lot, but maybe he'd talked more to Steve. Darry knew there must be more to it though because Steve wouldn't just come and tell him anything Soda had confided in him without a reason. He wouldn't risk the trust they shared. If Steve wanted to talk to him, it must be something Darry needed to know.

"See ya'll later!" Steve yelled, as he opened the front door.

"See you!" Soda hollered.

"I'll talk to you tonight, Superman," Steve said quietly, before letting the door slam shut.

Darry finished mixing the pancake batter, and poured some into the pan on the stove.

"Good morning, Curtises!" TwoBit announced, coming in and sticking his finger in the batter to have a taste.

"Hey!" Darry shouted, as he swatted TwoBit's head with the spatula.

"Easy there, Dar." TwoBit laughed.

"You should never come between a man and his breakfast, buddy," Soda declared, pulling a stack of plates from the cabinet and setting them on the table.

"You eating, TwoBit?" Darry asked, adding another pancake to the stack.

"Is the sky blue? Of course, I'm eating!" TwoBit said.

"Hey, Soda, where'd you find that old pocket knife of Dad's?" Darry asked, as he took the maple syrup from the refrigerator, and set it next to the stack of plates.

Soda looked startled for a moment, his eyes widening. "Um, there's a box in our closet full of all kinds of old stuff." he said. "It's no big deal. I just found it and thought I'd hang onto it, you know? Where's the chocolate syrup?"

Darry blinked at Soda with a curious expression before answering the question. "Just wondered, little buddy. Not a big deal at all. Chocolate syrup should be in the fridge too."

Soda mumbled something Darry couldn't hear before disappearing down the hall, forgetting all about the chocolate syrup.

"What was that about?" TwoBit questioned.

"I don't know," Darry answered, deciding not to make too much of the look on Soda's face when he'd asked about the pocket knife.

Darry wondered if Soda was perhaps embarrassed that he had been looking through old memories, not that he should be at all. Of course, Soda wasn't exactly being completely open with his feelings lately. Darry knew his brother was trying, but Soda himself had said he just didn't have the words to talk yet. Soda wasn't really very good at hiding things either. Anyone who knew him well could glean the truth from his eyes and expression. When Soda was happy, he was bright and cheery. A sad Soda, on the other hand, was the polar opposite. There was no in between. He was very clearly trying to make himself seem okay, and it hurt Darry to see Soda having to struggle to hang onto the little bit of the joy and lightheartedness that usually came so naturally. He hoped and prayed that Soda could find his way to some sort of consolation and healing.

Pony ambled into the kitchen, laying Lord of the Flies on the counter. "It's such a nice day, Dar. You think we could go to the lot and play some football?" he asked his brother.

"Sounds good, Pone. You have to be on my team though. Soda can have TwoBit here," Darry told Pony, as he smiled and gestured to TwoBit.

"Aw, I'm not so bad at football!" TwoBit piped up, trying to defend himself.

"Last time we played, you fell into a mud puddle, trying to catch the ball!" Pony pointed out.

"Yeah, and you still didn't even come close to catching it." Soda joined the conversation, as he came back into the kitchen.

"All right. Let's let TwoBit redeem himself then. We eat first though," Darry said, taking a bite of his pancake.

TwoBit and Darry walked side by side behind Soda and Pony, who carried the football. It would only take a few minutes for them to reach the lot.

"Pony told me about those Socs at school messing with him. Thanks for looking out for him, TwoBit," Darry said.

"Aw, you know I'd do anything for that kid. It's no problem, Darry," TwoBit replied, though it did mean a lot to him for Darry to mention this.

Pony and Soda had run farther ahead of them, so Darry felt safe in asking his friend about Soda. "How does Soda seem to you?"

"He doesn't seem like Soda," TwoBit answered without hesitation.

Pony tossed the ball to Darry, as they arrived at the lot.

"All right. So me and Pony are a team. Soda, that leaves you and TwoBit," Darry announced.

They knew two to a team didn't make much of a football game, but it was something the guys had all enjoyed when Dally and Johnny had still been with them. They had also done this even before Mr. and Mrs. Curtis died. Getting out and playing a little game of football made them feel like there were still some things that hadn't changed completely. If Steve had been there, they would've played with uneven teams and still had fun. After all, it was only touch football, not a serious game.

Pony threw the ball, meaning for it to go to Darry. Soda intercepted it instead and tossed it toward TwoBit. He started forward, but tripped over his own feet in the process, toppling to the ground.

Soda laughed, watching TwoBit trying to get up and grab the ball before Darry could reach it. He had only come along because the others had wanted him to, but he realized it felt good to be outside burning up some energy. The physical effort was a welcome distraction, as the was ensuing entertainment.

Soda was still really tired, even though he hadn't had a nightmare last night. He had been awake at least a few hours after he said he was going to bed. Even without those horrible dreams disturbing him, he just couldn't relax enough to sleep a whole night. Darry had asked Soda about his night, and it had been rough, though he wouldn't know it wasn't just because of Soda's subconscious mind this time or even because of his brothers' lateness or absence. The near panic he had experienced certainly hadn't helped, but it wasn't all that had occurred. Soda hadn't wanted to disturb Steve's slumber in the middle of the night, but in hindsight, he knew he should've gotten his best friend up. If the situation had been reversed, Soda would tell Steve to wake him up. He had even gotten as far as going into the living room, hoping Steve would somehow sense his presence and open his eyes. He hadn't stirred though. Soda truly regretted what he had done instead when his fear of being alone had gotten tangled with the ever growing sadness in his soul. Soda absently traced the scar on his palm that the kitchen knife in the sink had left a couple of nights ago. He knew he couldn't tell anyone about this, but his desperation for comfort had simply gotten too great. Even though Soda knew he couldn't disclose the whole truth about his night, he wondered if he should go to Darry and try for more progress in talking about how he'd been feeling. Soda had to find the words he needed before this pain inside of him spiraled out of control.

Steve got out of his car, still wearing his DX uniform. Soda had come in to start his shift a couple of hours before Steve's was over, so he knew his friend wouldn't be home for a while. Steve made his way into the house and saw Darry coming out of his room.

"Hey, Steve. Pony's in his room, but let's go out on the back porch," Darry said, as he pulled open the screen door.

They both took a seat on the steps that led to the small backyard. Steve started to speak, then hesitated.

"I know Soda's not been himself, Steve." Darry spoke instead.

"Did he tell you anything about last night?" Steve asked.

"No. Nothing. Why?" Darry questioned, growing more concerned.

"We both dozed off kind of early. Soda woke me up later, and he was freaking out, man. It was midnight, and you and Pony weren't home."

Darry's mind flashed back to that morning when Soda had immediately hugged him when he was barely awake. He had indeed had a rough night. "Freaking out how?"

"I think he thought something had happened to you guys. He was all shaky and trying not to cry, and I think he would've hyperventilated if I hadn't been here. When you called, Soda said he was fine, and he wasn't at all. He was almost panicking." Steve tried to put what Soda had been like into words, though he felt he couldn't do it justice.

"What'd you do?"

"Just sat with him. Reminded him to breathe and that I was there for him. I kept telling him I was sure you guys were fine. He calmed down a lot after you called."

"I'm glad you were here, Steve."

"I hate talking about him behind his back like this, but I don't know what to do. I've never seen Soda look like that, Darry." Steve closed his eyes and shook his head.

"You're not. You're a good buddy. I needed to know."

"Just don't tell him I said anything. I was hoping he'd tell you first."

"I won't. I'll talk to him tonight and see if he will tell me. But, you know, he wouldn't be mad at you."

Steve sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I guess. I just wish I knew how to help him."

"I know the feeling. I've been trying, but he hasn't said much beyond being tired and nervous. He did say a lot has happened, and I think that's the key."

"There has to be so much more to it than that, but that's pretty much what he's said to me too. He just seemed so scared last night."

"Soda did mention something to me about being scared too, so it sounds like that wasn't the only time."

Darry wondered what else was lingering beneath Soda's anxious and melancholy demeanor, along with the fear he couldn't seem to express. He tried to picture what Steve had described, but he could scarcely envision Soda in such a state. Darry was certain that if it had bothered Steve this much, the picture in his head couldn't begin to portray what he had witnessed.