A/N A/N RECAP – Danny and Alice were married when they were teenagers and had a son named Thomas, he was taken away adopted by a new family but when that family passed away Alice, who is living at leopards Den is given custody. Danny, who is living at mara, finds out and files for custody too. meanwhile Thomas is now living at leopards den, he has a day off school and decided to go exploring with an old map he found. He fund an old cave followed it through to the end and ended up at a dangerous area at Mara Alice finds hum and was pounced on by a lion. Danny manages to save her, they argue and Alice leaves with Thomas...

Alice stood in the surgery cleaning the operating table thinking about all that Thomas had told her. She sighed and looked in the direction of the main house, the lights in the house glowed in the darkness. It had tore at her to see his tears to know that he had went through all that, the death of his parents, all alone. Guilt began to gnaw at her, if she hadn't left him there then he wouldn't have been there. How were they to know what would happen to him though?

As she thought of the decision that they made her thoughts strayed to Danny and she attacked the operating table with avengence imagining the shiny surface was his face. Who did he think he was? Trying to tell her she was putting their son in danger. He should know that she would never do that! It didn't matter that he was trying to get in contract with her, as far as she was concerned she would see him in court. He had shown his true colours now, and would use anything to get his hands on their son and she would be damned if she gave him up without a fight. All he had said earlier on only proved how much he needed her!

After Thomas quieted he had become quiet and withdrawn. Not only had he confided more than he ever wanted to he had cried in front of her. She imagined that she had a lot of ground to make up. She just hoped that she managed to do it before she court case was resolved. If the impossible happened and she lost her son she liked to think she would be able to remain in contact with him. Let Danny try to keep Thomas away from her she thought scrubbing at the table again. She groaned when she felt the stitches in her back pulling. Standing up straight she grimaced trying to ease the stitches into a more comfortable position.

A soft knock echoed and the subject of her thoughts walked in wearing long pressed jeans and a royal blue jacket zipped up. She wasn't really feeling in the mood to talk, or argue, with him she grabbed the spray bottle and moved on to the refrigerators.

"Are you a little bit lost?" she asked sarcastically, not looking at him as she covered the surface with antiseptic. "Evan never comes in here, the house in up there, as you already know."

"No, I came to see you." he told her softly.

She looked at him, the tone of his voice aroused her suspicions. It wasn't argumentative or sarky. If anything he sounded like the boy she knew when he was trying to make amends. "I don't think we have anything to say to each other." refusing to let herself be drawn in. For all she knew he was in here trying to get more information to take back to his solicitor!

He took a step towards her. "I actually came to see if you were alright after being attacked by the lion,"

Alice winced when she remembered being pinned by the animal the feeling that she was gonna be seriously hurt and there was nothing she could do about it. The breath was stolen from her body and she inhaled deeply.

"Sorry." he murmured when he saw her expression, "I've been thinking all day about how to word that particular phrase all day…."

Alice shook her head, "It's fine, I've not been thinking about it and it came unaware."

He nodded.

"Anyway like I said, Evan will be up at the main house if that is who you are looking for."

"It's not something you will want to remember, what happened to you." wanting to prolong the conversation, hoping to create an opening.

"Not the first time something like that has happened, I doubt it will be the last, You can be as careful as you are able but life has a way of taking the best laid plans and tearing them to pieces." not her best analogy when discussing the lion, she ignored it.

"Can we talk?" he requested.

Alice lowered her arms and looked at her reflection in the refrigerators shiny surface, "I don't think that is a good idea, do you?"

"Alot of what we used to do wasn't a good idea, why change the habit of a lifetime." he murmured.

"Well if you are planning on berating me some more don't because I really don't have the energy to argue with you anymore! Can't you please just save whst you're gonna say and leave."

Danny looked in her eyes and saw the fatigue within their depths, "Can we just talk? Like normal people?" he requested.

"Oh, are we supposed to be friends now? After you accused me of deliberating putting our son in danger?"

He sighed and shook his head, feeling like they were arguing in circles.

Alice sensing she wasn't getting rid of him until he had his say gave in, "FINE, talk then, just don't expect too much from me I'm not in the mood."

"I'm sorry." he said quickly before she could interject or somehow manage to talk him out of it. "I've spoke to Dupe about everything, about the unknown passage onto Mara land, about the map Thomas found, about how he was sabotaging Mara as he was worried about what losing Thomas would do to you."

Alice spun quickly, "He had no right talking about things like that with you!"

He held is hands up in a gesture of surrender, "Don't worry, he was very quick to say I didn't have a chance in hell of getting him. He loves you, he's protective of you. Reminds me a lot of your dad actually."

"Still it's best if no one is involved in this except us. it'll be better that way." rubbed her face tiredly.

He inhaled deeply, almost readying himself for what he was about to say, "I just came to say that I'm dropping the custody case too. I spoke to my solicitor and she's withdrawing the papers that were filed."

Again Alice looked at him eyes narrowed with suspicion and mistrust, "Why the change of heart?" truly unable to bring herself to believe he didn't have an ulterior motive.

"After speaking with Dupe and having a long think I guess I figured that the way we were acting, hitting out to truly hurt each other will be doing no one any good in the long run. And that is all we are trying to do, hurt each other. It's not worth it. We'll only alienate each other and Thomas."

"That doesn't solve the problem at hand, where Thomas will be living. Both of us want him with us, neither will give in, don't try and lie and say you will because I know you remember!" and crossed her arms.

Danny shrugged, "Best solution I see is to ask him."

"You know he will never pick you. If or shall I say when we argue, because we always do eventually, you'll throw it back in my face. I'm not saying court is better. God knows I'm dreading it but at least the other can't be blamed for the choice of where he goes."

"And do you want that?" he asked heated, "Don't you remember the initial court case? It only gets worse from here! Home visits, spot checks, looking through our history, financial and otherwise and this time we are on seperate ends of the court room. It was hard enough when we went through it together!"

"YOU wanted this! If you have nothing to hide then why does it bother you?" she asked snidely.

He narrowed his eyes, "It bothers me because it's going to drive a bigger wedge between us and Thomas needs us to be a team!"

Alice was reminded of her sons tears earlier and knew that Danny was talking sense, "I'm sorry that was uncalled for." she conceded.

"And I didn't want this." he added softly. "I think I just wanted to get back at you for not telling me that you had contact and then you hit back. I expected you to act sorry, I hated that you were trying to justify keeping him away from me. You fought back, wouldn't back down then I knew I couldn't back down and its all went too far…."

"So what's changed? The way I see it tomorrow you could change your mind and refile papers. I can't live like that Danny."

"I hate hurting you!" he told her, "It's harder than I thought it would be. And the people around you telling me how much stress you are under and how you are handling everything so bloody well when you should be crumbling doesn't help. In one breath they are fighting for you and in the next they are telling me that you are trying to be fair, that they are the ones who are messing up. That YOU want to do this right, do this fair. And I felt like hell because while you're here thinking about how to do this right I'm doing this to be petty…."

"I'm gonna kill Rosie and Dupe." she breathed.

"Look," he carried on ignoring her statement, "We are both his parents, right. We need to stop playing games and focus on just him. I think we are both more than capable of doing that."

Alice nodded slowly. "Thank you." she finally said. At least this was one less thing she had to worry about.

"So..." he began. "How have you both been since, well since the other day." snagged a cloth and a bottle of spray and went to the other refrigerator.

Alice raised an eyebrow as he coated the door. "You don't…."

"Hey I've been doing this for weeks at Mara, I'm getting good at it too." he told her with a smile.

Alice shrugged and got back on with her own task, sorting the bottles and cleaning out the shelves inside. "He feels guilty about what happened, most of the time he acts like he doesn't care but I've heard him asking Rosie if I am healing alright. He's not as tough as he pretends to be." she told him answering his previous question and filled him in quickly on what happened to Thomas' parents.

"Wow." Danny murmured and saw her grimace when she reached up to clean the top shelf.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, just my stitches pulling, I'll be fine. I need to change the bandages and get Caroline to check them when I go up to the house, its why I'm down here so late. I don't want Thomas to know in case they are infected."

He walked over to the sink and washed his hands, "I can do that for you." he told her.

Alice shook her head, "It's fine, Caroline will do that for me."

He dried his hands on a paper towel, "I'm here." and grabbed some bandages.

Knowing that he wasn't going to be deterred, and knowing that he was a better judge of how it was healing that Caroline she acquiesced to his request, "Go ahead, there are only a few really deep areas that needed checked.

She walked over to him and turned her back, he raised her shirt slowly and saw white bandages covered a large portion of her back. As he peeled them off one by one he couldn't withhold a gasp of pain when he saw the red angry welts criss-crossing the expanse of skin.

She was relieved that when she felt his hands gently touch her back the tingles she felt when they were young were absent, she didn't need the inconvenience of any feelings where he was concerned! Whatever had plagued her, where he was concerned on his last visit, it had obviously ran it's course. "Thankfully she didn't quite catch me properly or I might have been in big trouble!" she told him, keeping her thoughts to herself.

Danny heard her words and felt physically sick.

"I've got a few heavy duty painkillers left, not forgetting the antibiotics. Won't be sleeping on my back either." she murmured trying to be flippant. It didn't take being an ex wife to him to be able to hear what he was thinking. Dupe had told her the damage was pretty bad and made her visit the hospital, which she had to do on the quiet in case Thomas found out. She didn't want him feeling any worse that he already did.

"If I hadn't have come, the lion would have killed you." he said, a statement not a question.

"Probably, I was face down in the mud with zero way of defending myself. It happens." she shrugged.

"How can you…." he began.

"Because it was me or Thomas!" she interrupted heatedly. "For all I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant and all the doubts I had it didn't change how much I loved him. I haven't been able to do much at all for him but in that moment he knew that I was willing to do anything to get him out of there unharmed! Some people say they would due for their kids, I MEAN it!"

Danny looked at her reflection and knew she meant every word as it shined from her eyes. He looked down and examined her stitches. They looked good and the wound clean, her words reminded him of his fear when she called him from college and told him he was going to be a father, "Did I ever tell you that my initial thought of finding out I was going to be a dad was to run?" he asked softly.

"You didn't have to, I saw it in your eyes." she replied. "Why do you think I started to push you away? I wasn't going to force you to be involved if you really didn't want to be. I didn't want to rely on you too much if you decided to leave eventually."

"I noticed you kept me at arms length for a while. It all changed after the scan though and we saw him." he smiled nostalgically. "I knew after seeing him that I never wanted to lose him. How ironic huh?"

Alice shrugged and sighed sadly.

"Anyway, stitches look good." and peeled her top down after carefully reapplying clean bandages.

Alice stifled a yawn, "How about you come round tomorrow tea time and we'll discuss a schedule and what not then. Its been a long day."

He nodded seeing the fatigue weighing down upon her.

"How about you come up and say goodnight to Thomas."

"Will he let me?" he asked as they cleared away her cleaning supplies.

"Possible, depending on his mood. Typical teenager." she said slowly with a smile.

He followed her out of the surgery, "I'm sorry about what happened to your fiancé." she murmured the night around them as they walked.

He bowed his head, "Thanks." shoving his hands into his pockets.

"It's never easy losing someone." she carried on. "Its a good thing the kids have you." he always had been a good father.

"They need their mother more than me, it's hard." eyes still on the dusty ground as they headed for the house.

"You'll figure it out." and they lapsed into silence and walked up the stairs to enter the house. They passed Dupe on the veranda. He gave them a smile and nod as they passed.

After checking the living room, kitchen and study they headed for the bedrooms. "He might still be in with Rosie. They were talking earlier."

"Are they close?" Danny asked.

Alice shrugged as she raised her hand to knock on Rosie's bedroom door. "Kind of, they are still kids though. She likes to wind him up because she's older." she lowered her voice. "I think he has a little crush on Liv though."

"Really?" he asked.

Alice nodded.

"Guess he's like you? You fell for her mother and your son likes her daughter."

He smiled at the similarity, Alice knocked on the door and opened it to find Rosie sat on the bed swiping at her eyes. Thomas sat on a chair opposite her looking concerned. Alice knew Thomas hadn't been the cause of her tears….that was something else altogether! "Hey kids, me and Danny have just came to say goodnight." she told them, "You ok Rosie?" she added.

Rosie nodded, "Night Alice, Danny."

Alice noted that Rosie looked anywhere except at her.

Thomas nodded towards Alice and completely disregarded Danny.

"Liv asked whether you are going over tomorrow." Danny asked Rosie.

"I'll call her," Rosie murmured voice hoarse, the worry never leaving her face.

"Can we get back to being alone please." Thomas asked pointedly, "We were talking."

Alice studied them and saw the almost pleading look in Rosie's eyes. Alice nodded and closed the door leaving them alone.

"Is Rosie ok?" Danny asked.

"I'll talk to her." Alice replied voice weary. "She'll be her happy talkative annoying self in no time at all." feeling sick in the pit of her stomach all of a sudden.

"Anyway I better be going. Goodnight."

Alice followed him to the door. "Goodnight." and after locking the front door she looked back at Rosie's bedroom door knowing exactly what was worrying her sister and knowing she'd die before she let that happen again!

Rosie sat in her room wiping her eyes, she sniffed and looked up at her nephew. He was crossed legged on a stool across the room looking at her concerned, she'd never tell him but he looked so much like Alice with his expression like that. It was exactly the same as Alice wore when she was at the door.

"But surely they can't just take you though can they?" he asked running his hand through his hair. Then looked at the letter Rosie had gave him. The letter he had hid when Alice came into the bedroom. "Didn't Alice adopt you or something?"

"Alice does have guardianship of me but she's my mother Thomas! And if that letter is right then there's no way they will let me stay with Alice, if she's back with my dad….." she trailed off, "If that is right then maybe the court will decide to give me back. Two biological parents against a single half sister who has already had her kid taken away. She has you back now but she's now in another custody battle with her ex husband." Rosie sighed, "What if it comes to her picking you or me? I can't put her in that situation. It would kill her…..."

Thomas rubbed his forehead, "But they can't give you back to someone who abandoned you!"

"If she can prove she had a stable home, job or source of income maybe they will. You don't know what they are like! Years ago when I was a baby when Alice came to collect me dad beat her up so Danny when over to sort him for hitting her and they called CPS on Alice and Danny!"

Thomas raised an eyebrow, "Wow her own mum?"

"That was the day they lost you." Rosie added.

"Is that when they found the drugs? Or was it later?" he asked finally getting some information he had been wondering about.

"Drugs?! What drugs?" Rosie spluttered confused.

"Alice and Danny lost me coz they were on drugs." he told her stretching his legs before they started to stiffen.

"Who the hell told you that?" disgusted at what he believed.

"My aunt. Apparently they were both high all the time. All I was was a mistake one night when they took too much, she managed to stay off it when she was pregnant which is how she was able to keep me. I was dirty neglected. They didn't feed me. I was lucky to end up with my mum and dad." he made an angry face. "She took great delight in telling me all that…." crossed his arms and looked out the window.

"What?" Rosie gasped. "No way!"

He shrugged pretending he didn't care, of course she wouldn't believe him. Why would he lie though?

"Does Alice seem like the type to do drugs?" Rosie asked him.

"She was younger then. People do stupid stuff!"

Rosie looked at him, eyes wide mouth agape unable to believe that he bought that rubbish! She got up, went in her bag and pulled out a small album, "I was going to use this to tease you with later but I think its best of you see it now." and handed it to him.

"What's this?" he asked turning it over and studying the small pale blue book.

"Look at it!" she urged.

He opened the cover and was greeted by a baby sleeping in a hospital crib, the caption read, 'Thomas, 2 hours old,' he'd never seen any baby pictures of himself before and stared for a while. He slowly began to turn the pages there were pictures of him awake or asleep, in the bath or playing on an assortment of toys. Rosie halted him when he found one of Alice holding him. She had him raised high in the air, he had a smile on his face and Alice was laughing. He frowned and covered his mouth with his hand.

"There is Alice at 17, does she look like she is on drugs? Do you look unhappy or neglected?"

He turned the page and saw another one with him looking content asleep on her shoulder. Her hand on his back, her face the picture of health. Meanwhile the baby on it, him, looked clean and really chubby….and the double of his father. He looked in the mirror on Rosie's wall then back at the pictures and hated that he could see Danny in his face.

"Well?" Rosie probed.

He slammed the album shut unable to see the happy baby any more, he didn't want to believe that she was a good person, "A picture doesn't prove anything! She gave me away!" tossed the album on the bed, "I'm not talking about this!"

"They didn't give you away, they lost you! My dad hit me and Danny wouldn't allow that to happen! I was covered in bruises, so was Alice and Danny's fists were bruised from fighting with my dad, they took all that and came up to what they thought was the obvious conclusion. That morning they took both of us and gave me back to my mum!"

Thomas thought about it for a moment then shook his head as the thought of betraying his parents exploded into his mind, "NO! OK! Just NO!" and stood up. "You're lying! They were both on drugs. They didn't want me, they never did! They didn't love me!" his voice full of uncertainty. "They picked everything over me. My mum and dad are the only ones who ever loved me!" and with those final words he stomped from Rosie's room.

Rosie sighed and picked up the letter that had fluttered to the floor during her and Thomas' conversation. The letter was from her mum stating that she was starting again with her dad and as soon as they were settled they were coming to pick her up. They had met again in Bristol and he wanted them to make a fresh start over here, the three of them. Mum, dad and daughter. After hearing about how her dad treated Alice she didn't want to be anywhere near him! She wasn't stupid, by what Alice said it was obvious the only reason her dad was with her mum was to get to Alice, he wanted to hurt her and how better to do it than use her sister! And her mum? She didn't deserve the title. She was doing it for the same reason Derek was, to be vindictive! She too was trying to hurt Alice. The timing of all of this was perfect! Wait until they were all nicely settled then come in and shake things up. Its the way their mum worked. Add Thomas into the mix and everything was going to get really messy really fast. She couldn't let her mum and find out that Alice had Thomas back or they'd stop at nothing to make her lose him again! She bowed her head and sighed rubbing the back of her neck, everything was such a big mess! It seemed she didn't really have much of a choice, maybe she really did have to go back and…..a gentle knock broke her train of thought. She dashed across her room and shoved the letter under her pillow then called "C'min Alice." shaking off the fear inside hoping it didn't show.

Alice popped her head into the room, "How'd you know it was me?"

"You're the only person in this house who doesn't bang on the door. You have a gentle knock." her voice tired. She was sick of everything right now. Why couldn't her mum leave them alone and let them be happy!

Alice smiled then looked at her face creased with concern, "You ok?"

Rosie nodded.

"I'm here if you need me you know. You can tell me anything. It's what big sisters are for."

Rosie opened her mouth then shook her head, "It's just stuff. I'll be fine, give it a few days."

Alice looked at the floor a second disappointed that Rosie wouldn't confide in her, "Ok, but if you need me, any time, day or night I'm right here yeah."

"I know." Rosie wondered how long Alice would be here for her, if their mum had her way she'd make Rosie cut off all contact with her.

"Well goodnight." and let the door close with a click. Looked at her sisters bedroom door, then Thomas'. Sighed and headed for her own bedroom.

Thomas couldn't sleep that night his mind so full of images he couldn't ignore. Right now he was sat in the kitchen, in the dark, his mind spinning. He'd had this idea in his head of what Danny and Alice were like, that they were horrible people, he'd been so sure that he was right and felt relief that he had been taken away. Things were different though if what Rosie said was true. He'd had such a perfect life until Adele had told him he was adopted, his mum had tried her best to make him believe that she would never leave him and that it didn't matter to her, it never had. He was hers, always had been always would be but he had been so scared that he was going to be sent away. He didn't want to live with people who used drugs. He'd seen people do drugs before on TV and he'd hated it…. a shaft of light filled the hallway and kitchen as a door opened down the hall. Alice entered the kitchen and he saw her jump in fright. "Thomas!" she gasped hand on her chest then checked the time using the clock on the wall. "What are you still doing up? You have school in the morning."

"Couldn't sleep." he said taking a sip of his milk studying her face wondering if she was a person who could do drugs.

Alice nodded then headed for the fridge.

"Mum used to make me warm milk at home when I couldn't sleep. When I was little she'd carry me upstairs and sing to me until I fell asleep. The milk isn't as helpful as it used to be." he exhaled sadly.

Alice had no idea how to reply so patted his shoulder gently.

"Did she like you?" he asked looking up at her. "You know, when you met." green eyes wide and vulnerable.

Alice had never seen him look so unguarded before. She poured herself a glass of juice pondering her answer. What could she say? She hated the woman who had her son. Don't get her wrong, Lisa had done such an amazing job raising Thomas but that didn't change the fact that Thomas should have been with her! It hadn't been her or Lisa's fault it was all circumstances but for that reason alone they were never going to get along. "I have no idea." she answered honestly knowing he would sense a lie.

"Oh." he said, a frown on his face as he pondered things.

"I only really met her once and I never met your dad." she had saw him across the court room though. "The visit wasn't even that long, to be honest I didn't really talk to her I was more interested in playing with you."

"Me?"

Alice nodded remembering the toddler he had been, green eyes clear and guileless, his thick black hair all tousled.

"Were you allowed visits with me?"

Alice sipped her juice and sat to his left, "Not quite. Before this visit we hadn't seen you in around six months and then you had cried when I held you. You were scared of me, I was a stranger."

Thomas saw the pain in her eyes when she remembered that day.

She released a breath and swallowed hard, "The squeals from you….That killed me, I mean I'm your mum…..was your mum" she shook her head. "It was hard." and left it at that.

"Why were you allowed to see me? Why stop after one visit?"

Alice cocked her head and looked at him, "You sure you want to know?"

He frowned, "Why? Is it bad?"

Alice shrugged, "Depends on your perspective."

He ran his finger around the rim of his glass frowning, then looked up at her, "What was your perspective?"

"My perspective?" she sighed. "What started off as a really happy day turned into the worst day of my life."

He leaned forward, genuinely interested now.

"That was the day I knew I would never see you again."

"But..." he began then halted.

"We weren't there for a visit Thomas, we were there to get you back. You were going to come home to us eventually." Alice quieted.

Thomas meanwhile was in shock, "Did mum and dad give me back?" his voice breaking. "Did they not want me?"

Alice moved quickly and was sat on the chair beside him. She took his hand and squeezed it seeing his eyes were glistening. "Your mum never wanted to give you back, if she had to I know she would have fought me to the death for you. Unfortunately she had no choice. The reasons why you were taken, they weren;t our fault. Basically the wrong name was entered into the database and they put you down as being available for adoption, by the time this was all rectified a new family, the Spoors, already had you. They name on the database was Thomas Trevasian, your name is Thomas Trevanion."

"Trevanion?" he hadn't know that had been his name. "Was that your name too? Because your name now is Collins."

Alice nodded, "Danny and I were married."

"Really?" he squeaked. Adele had told him his parents broke up more than they had been together!

"Yep, and scared stiff at the thought of being parents. You were an easy baby though. Very happy to be held and played with. Slept well too. You weren't a fan of solid food though, spat it everywhere no matter what I did." smiled sadly.

"How did you lose me?" his voice soft, eyes troubled.

"That's probably a story for when Danny is here."

Thomas nodded, "Was he a good dad?"

Alice was quiet for a moment then smiled nostalgically, "The best. Nothing was too big or small for him when it came to you." she shrugged, "It was just a lot of bad circumstances." she patted his hand. "You better be going to bed. You have school in a few hours."

He stood up, "Ok, goodnight Alice."

"Night son." she murmured and watched him retreat to his room. When he was gone she covered her face with her hands, memories of the three of them as a family washing over her in waves.

A/N i am really going to try to update more with this, i just have no time at all!