Title: Kisame's Haircut

Premise: Naruto. Itachi and Kisame go to a barber shop one day, but things don't go too well for poor Kisame. Humor, slight crack. Not ItaKisa romance, just friendship.

Personal Notes: This idea came to me, naturally, as I was getting my hair cut one day. I thought of maybe using this as an omake for one of my constructed stories, The Akatsuki's Hunt for the Avatar, like Naruto's Merchandise. I thought I'd just post the idea hear so I would remember to look back later when I find a good chapter to attach it to.

On a cloudy day over a hidden village in the shinobi nations, Akatsuki members Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigaki had stopped at a barber shop. It was time for their monthly haircuts.

A beautiful young, blonde girl stood beside Itachi as he sat in his chair with a sheet around him, as she gingerly snipped at his hair with a pair of scissors. She was nearly done with him.

Kisame sat just a few chairs down as an older man with a grey beard and bushy hair came up to him.

"Are we ready here, sir?" He asked.

"Sure," Kisame smiled.

"Say, would you like our specialty for the day?" The barber asked.

Kisame shrugged. "Sure, why not. I only get one haircut a month."

"Exactly!" The barber said as he reached for his electric razor. "It is always fun to try new things, if you ask me."

About ten minutes later, the barber shut off his razor, and brushed down Kisame's head with a brush.

"All done," he said merrily. Kisame opened his eyes.

"Would you like to see?" The barber handed him a mirror. Kisame looked into the mirror, and his eyes widened in horror.

He was completely bald. All of his dark blue hair was gone, exposing his round, shiny blue head!

"EEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Kisame screamed bloody murder, nearly shaking the entire neighborhood.

"What did you do to me?" Kisame demanded as he jumped out of his chair.

"Our specialty is buzz-cuts," The barber answered, still smiling under his beard.

"Buzz-cut?" Kisame repeated, still angry as Hell. "I don't want a buzz-cut! I want my money back!" He held out his hand to the barber.

"I'm sorry sir," the barber replied. "Store policy. No refunds."

"Oh, I'll give you a refund!" Kisame snickered as he started a few hand seals.

Suiton: Senshokukō (Water Style: A Thousand Feeding Sharks)

When the dust and debris settled around the destroyed barber shop, Kisame and Itachi had dashed off into an alleyway so nobody would see them. Kisame immediately turned to his partner.

"Aw, Itachi, what am I going to do?" he whined, "I can't go walking around like this!"

Itachi smirked ever so slightly, not just at Kisame's appearance, but because he decided to humor him a little about it. "Kisame," He said calmly, "you have blue skin, sharp teeth, those gill-like markings on your face, and those creepy looking eyes. Are you really that worried about your hair?"

"Dude!" Kisame snapped. He was shaking with hysteria now. "I look like a freakin' goblin! The only things remotly attractive about me are my muscles, height, and hair! You gotta help me out here!"

"I don't know," Itachi replied musingly. He put a finger to his chin as if he were thinking. "I kind of like this look for you. You look more intimidating."

"QUIT SCREWING AROUND WITH ME, ITACHI!" Kisame grabbed his partner's collar and shook him hard.

"WOAH!" Itachi exclaimed. "Okay! Okay! I'm sorry! Calm down!" He gripped Kisame's wrists. After a second, Kisame stopped shaking him, started taking a few deep breaths, and slowly put him down and released him.

"Alright," Itachi panted. "Come on. Let's go see if we can get you a wig."