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Ch. 6 If We Could Do Better I Know We Would
(CLARE)
"Want to come to a party?" Reese asks.
"As long as I'm back before five tomorrow morning," I reply with a grin.
"Well come on then Precious let's go," Reese says holding his hand out to me. He helps me out of the window and takes me to a car with several other people; it's so crowded I'm forced to sit on Reese's lap, not that I mind.
The car drives a few blocks past DeGrassi and turns into a dirt road. The road takes a few turns before stopping in a cove. I hear water gurgling when I get out and I think this is part of the ravine but not a part I've been to. Reese puts his arm around me and we walk down to a spot near the water, there is a fire going and lots of kids, some I know from DeGrassi but others don't look familiar. Everyone is drinking, a few are high, there's music going, it looks pretty much like a party at the part of the ravine I am used to going to but I really only know Reese at this gathering. He finds a spot to sit and puts me on his lap offering me a beer and I shake my head.
"I don't like beer," I tell him.
"You want something stronger?" He asks.
"I want for my brothers not to smell alcohol on my breath in the morning," I respond and Reese grins.
"Kyle get the girl a pop," Reese calls and a boy walks over with a can of coke.
Reese sips at his beer while I drink the pop, kids are talking loudly and most of them are complaining about the first day of school or talking about kids they go to school with. I think most of them must be from Bardell because a few people ask Reese how DeGrassi is. He talks for a few minutes, never says anything about me and when he's done talking, and tossed his beer can, he starts kissing my neck. He's far more forward than most guys I know; usually I have to take the lead as I did with Owen. Jeff was pretty forward too but he'd also done his research but Jeff only knew of my brothers (by blood and otherwise) by reputation. Reese has actually spent time with at least Lucas, Jay, Johnny, Sean and Fitz, he must have seen or possibly even know firsthand how they are. So either he's not scared or he likes to live dangerously. Both options make Reese more enticing, most guys are so afraid of getting killed I have to get them completely horny and totally take charge so they just aren't thinking at all. Exactly what I did with Owen, once he was thinking with the head between his legs he wasn't so worried about my brothers.
I don't say anything or really even do much, simply lean my neck in the opposite direction so Reese has plenty of places to kiss. Something he notices and grins the next time his lips kiss down on my skin. When he tries to reach around and grab my breast I catch his hand, I'm not going to let him grope me in front of everyone. He gives me a disappointed look but then turns my head and steals my lips into a kiss. A hard deep kiss that he doesn't release and now we're making out. We do this for a while, at least an hour, before the party starts to break up.
"Time to get you home Precious," he says getting me off his lap. We get back in the car with his friends and they drive me home, Reese walks me to the house and my window helping me to get it open. He even helps me in although I'm fairly certain this was just an excuse to grab my ass. "See you in a few hours at school," he smiles and then he hops on the window and it makes a banging noise. He gives me a quick kiss and vanishes into the yard as my door is flung open and my light switched on.
"What was that?" Adam inquires.
"Why are you still dressed?" Drew questions in a suspicious tone.
"We should get a lock for her window," Adam answers before I can say anything.
"I'll nail it shut tomorrow," Drew responds.
"You can't nail my window shut I won't get any fresh air into my room," I point out.
"And just where have you been?" Drew questions crossing his arms with a stern look on his face, it's the most I've ever seen him look like Dad.
"Oh leave her alone she got home in one piece, if she'd been in trouble she would have called you or one of the others. She doesn't look high and I doubt she's been drinking, everyone go to bed," Bianca asserts and I smile at her.
"Yeah but she…" Drew begins to argue but Bianca pulls him away.
"Bed Drew we have school in the morning," Bianca insists.
"But…" I hear my brother trying to protest one last time before his bedroom door is closed.
"You didn't do anything we need to kill someone for did you?" Adam questions.
"Just kissing Adam stop worrying," I reply with a grin.
"That's funny coming from you, sneaking in at three in the morning, out with heaven knows who," Adam replies.
"Like Bianca said I would have called if I were in trouble," I respond.
"Yeah but I don't ever want you to get into the position where you are in trouble is my point," Adam says.
I smile and kiss my brother's cheek; he leaves the room to go to bed. I turn off my light, quickly get into pajamas and go to bed myself. I wake up a few hours later when I hear noises in the house meaning everyone else is awake. I yawn and grab my robe going out to the washroom and then returning to my bedroom to get dressed.
"Where were you last night?" Spinner asks as soon as I go out to the kitchen for breakfast.
"I got invited to a party," I answer which is all true.
"When and by who and why didn't we hear about it?" Spinner inquires.
"Last night, by a boy from school, after you went to bed," I reply.
"I'm telling you we should nail her window shut," Drew remarks and I smack his arm.
"Clare you can't go sneaking out to parties with strange boys especially on school nights without telling one of us. We have to know where you are," Spinner admonishes and I nod.
Dad was never real big on punishments and neither is Spinner so it's extremely rare we even get punished. Usually we just get scolded but also watched more closely for a while. The subject gets dropped and we eat quickly before Drew drives himself and Adam to school, I choose to ride with Bianca since she's driving her car to school.
"Did you ask about moving in?" I question as she starts driving.
"No I want to talk to Drew first, plus I don't know if it's good to be spending every night in Drew's room and he'd have to make room for me," she replies.
"And Drew will be happy to, trust me he loves when you're at the house and so do I. Plus with you in the house it will even things out a little more, if you hadn't controlled them last night Drew and Adam may have interrogated me all night."
"I promise I'll talk to them, I'll get Drew alone at lunch," she smiles.
She parks at school next to Drew and we all go to the steps together. Maya, Tris, Owen, Zig and Fitz are waiting; we join them and hang around waiting for the bell. I see Reese walking up to school, he sees me too and smiles, I start to grin back but Owen moves me behind him and glares at Reese. When the bell rings Adam, K.C. and I walk to class but Jenna never shows up, I think she's afraid to tell K.C. about the baby. We know she spent the night with Paige so I'm not worried, Paige may have even told her to take the day off and get her thoughts in order. Whatever the case someone will know where Jenna is.
"I had fun last night," Reese grins when Adam and I get into second period and Adam gives me a look because now he knows I was out with Reese.
"You went to a party with Reese?" Adam whispers.
"Nothing happened Adam."
"Nothing happened with what? And where's Jenna today?" Zig inquires sitting down.
"I don't think Jenna's coming today," I respond avoiding the first question.
"We'll talk about this later," Adam warns me while Reese looks back and gives me a smile.
(BIANCA)
"Can we eat lunch alone?" I ask Drew when he meets me at my locker after second period.
"Yeah sure," Drew grins. Since neither of us brought lunch we go to the caf to get food and then we eat in back of the school between the football and soccer fields under a tree.
"There's something I want to talk to you about," I venture a little nervously. I love Drew and his entire family and I am there a lot but moving in and actually having all my stuff there seems like I'd be making myself a burden. I mean they already lost their parents, Spinner and Drew work to support them and I'd be another full time person to take care of because I know my auntie won't help.
"Is it bad news?" Drew asks.
"No I mean I hope not. I was thinking…well actually Clare brought up…but I had considered it before…"
"B," Drew cuts me off, "what is it?"
"I was thinking about moving in. If it's okay with everyone of course, I know it's okay with Clare and I'm already at your house a lot. You know how I hate my auntie's a…"
"Bianca," Drew cuts me off again. He grins; combing his fingers into my hair and crushes his lips to mine in a tender kiss, "I would love for you to move in. I'm certain Adam and Spinner will feel the same, we can go talk to them right now I think everyone is eating at The Dot."
"Thanks," I reply and kiss him again.
I pull out of the kiss with a smile and we finish our lunch fairly quickly dumping our trash and walking to The Dot. Everyone is still here, eating at several tables pushed together and they wave at us when we come in.
"Spin you got a few minutes?" Drew asks.
"Uh I guess, can you guys handle things for a few minutes?" Spinner asks the waitress and other waiter on duty and they nod.
"Adam, Clare," Drew waves for his younger siblings to follow us and we all go outside.
"So what's up?" Spinner questions.
"Bianca wants to move in," Drew tells them.
"She practically lives at our place anyway and Drew always behaves better with her around," Clare speaks up for me and drew grimaces at his sister for the last part.
"Clare's right and we all like having her around," Adam says and I smile at him.
"It's fine with me, like Clare said you practically live there now so you might as well have all your stuff there. You know you'll have chores and all that, same rules as the rest of the house," Spinner says.
"Yeah of course, I'll help out in any way I can and I can even get a job," I offer.
"We'll work it out later; I gotta get back in there," Spinner comments and we start to go back inside when he stops and turns to look at us again, "you know I thought you'd move in a lot sooner."
I smile and we go inside the café, Spinner gets back to work while we tell everyone I'm moving in. Everyone's happy of course and we stay at the café until we have to head back to school for classes. We approach the stairs at the same time as Reese and a couple of his low life friends. His buddies don't pay any attention to us at all but Reese looks right at Clare, she seems to know he's looking because she turns to smile at him. The second she does so Owen moves her between himself and Fitz and the latter puts his arm around her. It was fairly caveman like behavior but knowing what I do about Reese, and knowing that Owen and Fitz know at least as much as I do, if not more, I don't blame them. I also know telling Clare to stay away will simply make him all that more enticing to her. She'll have to learn about Reese on her own and make her own decisions about him. She's a very bright girl and I know she won't put herself in any danger intentionally.
Third period is relatively boring the business class might be more interesting if the teacher was more interesting, all we did was read from the text book yesterday and today. Fourth period is not only a far more interesting class but so many of my good friends are in it. We watch a video on how Television shapes society and then we're broken into groups of four to answer questions on the video. Drew, Owen, Fitz and I are put into one group while Clare, Adam, Fiona and new boy Eli are put in another.
"I have football but you can go back to my place I don't work tonight," Drew tells me as we're leaving class.
"I'll take Clare and Adam home, and anyone else going to your house," I grin kissing him before he walks off with Owen to the football field.
"I'm coming," Fitz tells me.
Maya is going to the Milligan's to work on homework and K.C. is going to Paige's to check on Jenna. We called Paige and she said she had Jenna stay at her place today to have some time to think. So it's just the four of us going back to the Mason's, as soon as we're in the house Clare gets dragged to her room by Fitz and Adam, they want to lecture her about going out with Reese last night I'm sure. I sit in the living room to do homework but I can hear them and I can't concentrate anyway so after a short time I go to Clare's room and open the door.
"While you two are fruitlessly lecturing her I'm gonna go grab some of my stuff from my auntie's," I tell them interrupting Fitz mid-sentence.
"You want me to come with you?" Fitz asks.
"No she should have just left for work I'll just leave a note that I'm moving out and I'll be back for the rest of my stuff," I comment.
Fitz nods and I close the door leaving them to lecture Clare about Reese, which will lead her to want to go out with him all the more. I already told them telling her no is just putting a neon sign over his head to draw her to him but the guys don't listen. I get back in my car and drive to my old home, I always hated these apartments but at least I'm out of them now. I use my key to get in and gasp when I find someone in the apartment but not my auntie; it's a man I've never seen before. He's in his late thirties or early forties, dark red hair and a beard with dark brown eyes, stout but muscular like Sean. He's watching TV and sipping at a beer but gives me a lecherous smile when I come through the door.
"Who are you?" He asks.
"Bianca, I live here or at least I did. If you see my auntie tell her I'm moving out," I respond.
He doesn't say anything just looks back at the TV and I go to my room. I grab my pillow and take the pillow case off of it then I begin stuffing it with clothes and some basics as fast as I can. The only other things I put in are gifts I've gotten from Drew or the others. There isn't much else in my room and certainly nothing I care to bring. I grab enough clothes for a few days; I can come and get the rest later. The last thing I grab is a bracelet Drew gave me from the hiding spot in the closet and when I turn around the man is standing there giving me the same lecherous grin.
"You know your aunt told me to make myself at home and help myself to anything," he says taking a step forward and I take a step back.
"Fuck off," I spit back kicking him in the nuts.
He goes down and I start to run past him but despite groaning in pain he reaches up grabbing my shirt. He pulls me back with enough force that I lose my footing and land on my back.
"I'd rather fuck you," he growls grabbing my wrists.
"Get off me you fucking bastard," I screech kneeing him in the stomach but it barely fazes him. He just laughs and grabs my shirt ripping it open. "GET OFF ME," I scream again frantically fighting and fearing I'm about to be raped.
(FITZ)
Adam and I take Clare into her room the second we're at her house. She sits on her bed with her arms crossed and a miffed look on her face while Adam and I stand.
"Why in the hell would you go out alone with Reese?" I demand.
"We weren't alone Fitz, we were at a party at some place at the ravine," she responds.
"At a part of the ravine you've never been to with people you don't know," Adam says.
"I knew Reese," she shrugs.
"Reese is dangerous Clare that's why we told you to stay away from him," I contend.
"You keep saying that but I've seen no proof of that at all. He's been wonderfully nice to me; we did nothing but kiss a…"
"You kissed him?!" I hiss.
Clare glares at me but continues ignoring my remark, "You can't tell me that Jay isn't dangerous, or Lucas, Johnny, Sean and even you Fitz."
"That's different Clare we know them we grew up with them," Adam argues.
"So I can mess around with a guy who's dangerous so long as we grew up with him?" She retorts.
"No I didn't mean it like that but we only know Reese by reputation and it's a bad one. He got expelled from his last school for bringing a knife and threatening a kid. He was sent to the juvie school and he's spent more time there than Fitz," Adam tells her.
"Adam he didn't do anything to me; he wasn't mean to anyone it was a party nothing happened. You're all blowing a gasket over nothing, if Reese does do something for you to blow a gasket over I'll let you know," Clare replies.
"We're trying to keep that fr…"
"While you two are fruitlessly lecturing her I'm gonna go grab some of my stuff from my auntie's," Bianca comments interrupting me.
"You want me to come with you?" I offer. Bianca says no and leaves the room so I look back at Clare.
"We're trying to keep that from happening Clare, I would never hurt you. Neither would Jay and the others," I say the last part while grinding my teeth a little at the thought of her being with one of them. I doubt they would, except maybe Owen because I do believe they did do something.
"You don't know that Reese will hurt me either and you know as well as I do that reputations rarely reflect the person. Most of our very best friends have really terrible reputations," Clare argues.
"That's not the point," I argue.
"No the point is you all want to control my life," she huffs.
"Clare that's not true we just don't want you to get hurt. I know better than anyone how you rebel and I know how there's a double standard with you. It sucks but there is and no matter what you argue we won't be with you dating Reese," Adam tells her.
"Who said anything about dating?" Clare shrugs and I tense up. "Look nothing happened last night, we went to a party, I drank a pop, he had a beer, he kissed my neck and we made out, he brought me home."
"Nothing happened this time but what about next time?" Adam asks.
"I don't know Adam but I'm not stupid, okay yes I sometimes intentionally do things to drive you guys up the wall because I hate the double standard. I would never do something that I thought would put me in danger. If my instincts ever told me I was in danger I would call you or Jay or someone to come get me. You treat me like I'm some helpless damsel in distress from some fairy tale," she scolds.
"I treat you like you're my sister and I love you, you're my twin Clare I love you and I don't want you to get hurt or ever be in that situation. Plus I know how you sometimes just don't think because you're angry," Adam tells her sitting next to her on the bed and putting his arm around her. "I am you're twin I know what you get up to and if Spinner and Drew knew half the shit I knew they'd have you guarded 24 hours a day," Adam comments.
"They practically do that all ready," she pouts.
"Why what does she get up to?" I ask.
"It d…" Adam starts but is cut off by the loud bang of the front door being burst open. The three of us run out to see Bianca just inside the door, she's leaning against the wall, her knees to her chest, her arms around them and she's crying hysterically.
"Bianca what's wrong?" Clare asks as the three of us run over. When we get to her I see that her shirt has been ripped open. I clench my jaw and fists, an anger building inside me because someone tried to hurt her.
"What the fuck happened? Who did this?" I snarl.
"Some fuck at my auntie's he tried to rape me, I barely got away," she tells us through the tears and the shaking. Her keys are on the floor at her feet and I grab them leaping up and running out the door.
"Fitz what are you doing?" Clare calls after me but I'm already getting into Bianca's car.
I peel out and flip a hard U-turn narrowly missing hitting a car, I drive way to fast to Bianca's aunts but I do stop at stop lights and I don't cause any accidents. I run up to her aunt's apartment, the front door is still open from Bianca running out. I go back to Bianca's room but I don't see the guy, I hear him though, in the washroom getting sick she must have kicked him in the stomach or really hard in the balls. I stand outside the washroom door and the second it opens I punch him as hard as I can. He stumbles back and I kick him in the chest, he's surprised and stumbles back falling into the tub.
"YOU ARE A FUCKING SICK ASS HOLE," I yell grabbing his shirt and pulling him out of the tub.
"Get off of me you fucking kid," he says trying to punch me. I block the punch and elbow him in the temple to disorientate him for a minute.
"You tried to rape my friend you're going to regret that," I snarl turning him around and slamming his face into the side of the tub. A spatter of blood goes into the tub with one of his teeth.
"I never touched her," he responds spitting more blood into the tub.
"No but you tried and you're never going to do that again."
I grab his hand, put it on the side of the tub and stomp on it with my combat boots. He screams and I hear the bones cracking. I pull him down and lay him on the floor, I smashed his face up pretty good, he's sort of gasping for air or that might be choking on blood. I grip his shirt and lean over him so he can see my face.
"The next time you think about trying to stick your ugly dick in someone that doesn't want it remember this," I tell him and drop him to the floor again. I start walking out and suddenly there's a couple policeman at the door. "Well fuck," I mutter to myself as they yell at me to get on my knees.
"Get down hands behind your head," one of them yells like I'm deaf and they're still holding their guns.
I get down on my knees interlocking my fingers behind my head, "Yeah yeah I know the drill."
(K.C.)
"Jenna it's me I know you're in there Paige called Drew let me in please," I call knocking on the door to Paige's apartment. It takes a moment but the door opens and Jenna lets me in, she closes and locks the door again and sits on the sofa. "What's wrong? Why weren't you at school? I've been calling you since last night and your phones been off the whole time," I comment sitting next to her on the sofa.
"I just needed some time," she says.
"Some time for what?"
"Time to figure out how to tell you something," she replies.
"Tell me what? Are you trying to break up with me?"
"No I love you K.C.," she says with tears in her eyes.
"Then what is so bad you had to stay out of school for the day?"
"I'm pregnant K.C.," she says. Hearing the word pregnant I stop breathing, thinking, my heart races and stops all at once the world has stopped it feels like the end of my life.
"No you can't be," I shake my head finding my voice after a moment.
"I am K.C. I went to the doctor and it was confirmed, I'm pregnant it's your baby."
"No it can't be," I shake my head again.
"I've never slept with anyone else K.C. it's your baby. I know it's shocking I'm shocked too and terrified. What do we do?" Jenna asks fully sobbing now.
I don't have an answer I just keep shaking my head, I can't stop it's like a nervous tick. I get up and back away and then I turn and run as fast as I can. Jenna calls after me but I keep running as fast as I can until I'm home. Mom's at work and Maya's at Owen's place doing homework. I just start pacing my room, I can't even think just keep shaking my head and pacing my room hoping I was dreaming or she's not pregnant or anything because I can't be a father.
"What's with you?" Maya asks from my doorway.
"When did you get home?" I question as I stop pacing.
"Just now, Miles had their driver give me a ride. He and Chewy were doing homework at Tristan's too," Maya says. Miles is a new kid at school, a rich punk in my opinion and he likes Maya I can tell. She likes the attention but she's crazy about Adam and I will never let her date him, I don't like the look of him, or the way he looks at her. Chewy is the other new rich kid, apparently a longtime friend of Miles' I don't like the look of him either. "Why are you pacing around and shaking your head like a crazy person?" Maya inquires.
"Jenna's pregnant, that's why she didn't come to school," I tell my sister.
"Then why aren't you there talking to her?" Maya questions.
"Because I can't, she told me and I ran out," I admit.
"She told you she was pregnant and you ran out?" Maya exclaims and then SMACK my little sister slaps me across the face. "K.C. how could you do that? She's probably terrified and you just ran out!"
"I know but I'm scared I can't be a dad, look at our dad. I can't have a baby I have nothing to give it, we're barely making it as it is," I defend myself.
"You're not Kevin, you won't be like him, you couldn't if you tried. You have to go talk to Jenna she needs you and you two need to figure out what to do together," Maya reprimands and advises me at the same time.
"Yeah I know but I'm scared, what if Jenna wants to keep it?"
"Then you figure out, we'll figure it out but if you run out on her then you are no better than Kevin."
"Okay I'm going back to talk to Jenna," I reply.
"Good I won't tell Mom until you decide what to do," Maya says.
I give my sister a smile and leave our apartment; now that I'm not running it takes me almost half an hour to get back to Paige's apartment. The door is closed and locked again and I knock.
"Jenna it's me again, I'm sorry I ran out I was just scared," I call through the door while I knock on it and this time the door opens right away.
"I'm scared too K.C.," Jenna snaps but she does let me in, "I'm terrified."
"I know me too," I nod pulling Jenna into my arms and she cries on my chest.
"What do we do K.C.?" She cries against my chest and I barely hear her.
"I don't know but we'll figure it out together," I assure her. I get her to the sofa we sit down; I let her cry a minute more before talking again. "What do you want to do?"
"I don't know I'm too scared to think," she wails.
"Okay let's just not think about it right now," I reply stroking her hair.
"It's all I can think about, I don't think anything can distract me," she responds when the front door opens and Paige comes in.
"I know you two are in the middle of something but Fitz has been arrested."
Update next Saturday from around here probably starting with Drew coming home and finding out what happened to Bianca. And Sean, Jay and the others find out Fitz has been arrested.
Also Ghosts of Who We Were readers remember there is no chapter tomorrow since I'll be at an event. And Tear Stained Shadowland readers please note (as was announced Thursday) there will also be no chapter this coming Wednesday as I will be out of town for the day.