Welcome back readers, aren't you glad I didn't leave it on a truly terrible cliffhanger for eight weeks. Enjoy tonight's chapter which is mostly fluff and sweet moments.

A/N: Joey is married to Caitlin and has been since high school. Craig is not Joey's stepson and will appear later and Angela don't exist in this story.

Ch. 11 Find Time to Figure Out Your Life

(CLARE)

"I'm starved let's go eat," Drew says when all of us converge in the foyer at lunch.

"You're always hungry," I shake my head. We usually eat at The Dot but Spin closes tonight so he's not going in until this afternoon, and today we decided to eat in the caf.

"I'm a growing active boy I need lots to eat," Drew replies.

"You're not that active you're starting to pack on the pounds," I remark patting his stomach.

"It just means we need to have more sex," Bianca smiles and Drew makes a noise as some image flashes through his mind.

"So I can eat anything I want as long as I'm having lots of sex then?" I comment in jest but keep my voice a little bit sultry and loud enough that the group of lacrosse players we pass hears me. At first they all looked shocked and then they all get a dopey look on their face as they get some mental image in their head that pleases them.

"Grrrraaawr," Drew snarls from the back of his throat either at the thought of me having sex or of the lacrosse team thinking about me having sex. Either way his face gets quite red and he starts to look more beast than boy, intimidating to most of the world but hilarious to me, Adam and Bianca as the three of us start cracking up. "You can go running or join the swim team or something," Drew responds.

"I prefer the hot tub, don't you Owen?" I tease and now his cheeks are red, boys are such fun to torment.

"Erhmm," he clears his throat, "I keep in shape playing football and working out."

"I can b…" I begin when Adam clamps his hand over my mouth from behind.

"Unless you want our big brother's head to explode don't say it," Adam whispers in my ear.

"Oh I almost forgot Anya gave this to me to give to you, she said it's from Jeff," Owen tells me pulling an envelope from his backpack and handing it to me.

"What is it?" Drew inquires.

"Anya thinks it's a love letter, says her cousin is quite smitten with Clare," Owen informs him and Drew responds by grabbing the letter from my hand.

"Andrew give it back!" I insist but he starts to open it. "Andrew Michael Torres give it back," I snap at my older brother in annoyance.

Rather than giving it back he holds it above my head, so I stop walking and leap on his back to get it. Maya and Tris are laughing, Adam's shaking his head at us and everyone else is just amused. While Drew's busy wrestling with me Bianca manages to grab the letter, I hop off of Drew's back and she gives me the letter. I'm not about to read it here with everyone watching so I stick it in a binder in my backpack in case Drew gets any ideas about stealing it again. At least Drew drops it for now and he has work after school so he can't bug me about it after school, he might bug me after he gets home from work but I'm pretty sure I can convince Bianca to distract him.

We get to the caf, grab trays and get lunch before finding a table. Jenna starts to eat but the smells get to her and she runs off for the washroom, K.C. goes after her and they never return. We find them in the nurse's office when we're done eating, Jenna is lying down and says her mom is coming to get her and K.C. is staying with her until she gets picked up.

Afternoon classes drag by and I find my mind wandering, first to Jeff and I wonder what's in the letter. But in media studies my mind wanders to Fitz, he would be at the juvie school already, he knows the routine by now and wouldn't have to go through the tour and all that. He must be in a class or maybe his room, they have bunk beds and sleep four to a room. Fitz doesn't usually talk to me much about the juvie school but I do know that much. I begin to mentally list everything I like about each boy and everything I'm not so sure about.

"Fitz; he's sweet, and attractive, he's not book smart but he's smart in many other ways, he's known me my whole life, he's noble and tender and is close to all my brothers and friends. I know he'd do anything for me and to protect me, he's caring and often knows what I want better than I do. But he's always trying to impress Sean, as much as he cares for me I'd be second to his brother's approval. And because he's either trying to get Sean's approval or because he reacts without thinking, especially when someone he cares for is hurt, he can't seem to stay out of juvie school he'd be away from me a lot. And one day it won't be juvie it will be prison. Jeff on the other hand has never even seen the inside of a juvenile detention facility, at least as far as I know. He's sweet and tender, very attractive and seems nice, he's considerate. He's lots of fun and quite talented with his tongue. I really know nothing about him however which is both a pro and a con. He lives in Guelph so I can't see him very often…"

"Clare," Adam interrupts my thoughts and I realize the bell has rung.

"I hope you took notes," I say to Adam.

"Of course I did," Adam grins, "thinking about Jeff?"

"And Fitz," I reply.

"Who's Jeff?" Eli questions.

"A boy that likes her enough to write her a love letter," Adam informs him. We've gathered all our stuff and we begin walking to the door followed by Owen, Drew and Bianca.

"Is that all it takes to get into your daydreams? A love letter?" Eli questions taking my hand and stopping me from walking as soon as we're in the hall. "I can write you a love letter, I am a writer I could write you one that would make your knees quake," Eli says kissing my hand and I bite my lip sure that I'm blushing. "I think I'll start by talking about these beautiful blue eyes, and then these perfect pink plush li…"

Before Eli can say the word lips he gets pulled away from me by Drew and Owen. Bianca is laughing and K.C. joins us with Maya, Tris and Zig. K.C. and Zig catch on that Eli is being kept away so they stand in front of him too.

"Uh the three of us need to work on our project so Eli's coming home with us, unless you want me and Clare to go to his house," Adam states. I didn't even know we had a project but I was pretty spaced out all through class.

"That's it I'm buying you a chastity belt," Drew comments and I stick my tongue out at him. "Life was so much easier before you liked boys," Drew complains.

"I always liked boys, I have three older brothers and all their closest friends who are all boys. For every close female in my life there are at least three males how could I not like boys," I point out and Drew shakes his head.

There's no football practice this afternoon but Drew has to leave for work. K.C. is going to check on Jenna and Tris is going to Zane's but everyone else is coming to our house. Maya and Adam ride with Eli, Zig rides with Bianca and I ride with Owen.

"So you like Eli," Owen states.

"Was that a question?"

"More of an observation," he replies.

"Worried about your competition?"

"Maybe."

"Don't worry Owen," I respond with a coquettish tone reaching over and opening the fly on his jeans, "Eli's barely looked at me until today. I have no interest in Reese anymore. Fitz is in juvie and he doesn't want to have fun with me anyway, he actually wants a serious relationship with me."

"I think you'd be much less dangerous if you were in a serious rela…tion…ship," Owen squeaks out the last word as my fingers get under his boxers and stroke the head of his cock which begins to get hard at my touch.

"Does that mean you don't want to have fun anymore?"

"Didn't…nnn…s…s…ay that," he barely manages as I pull his cock through the opening of his boxers and stroke the length of it.

"The only person that does want to have fun with me is Jeff and he lives in Guelph so you don't really have any competition," I tell Owen before leaning down and enveloping the head of his hard throbbing cock in my mouth.

"Ah fuck Clare," Owen breathes and starts to squirm. I know we were just down the street from my house so Owen decides to go around the block. He parks at the far side of the park and I finish him off, swallowing his seed while Owen grunts and breathes.

"People make such funny sounds and faces in the middle of climax," I comment wiping my mouth. "What are you going to tell everyone when they ask where we were going?" I inquire.

"I'll say I had to get something from my house and you decided to come with me," Owen replies as he fixes his jeans and boxers and begins driving again. We reach my house a moment later and of course everyone is inside already.

"Where were you guys?" Zig questions.

"Had to get something from my house," Owen responds but his cheeks go a little red. I giggle and Adam gives me a look.

Since everyone is either setting up to do homework or getting a snack from the kitchen I go into my room. I need to do homework too but first I want to read the letter from Jeff.

Pretty Eyes,

I could have mailed this but Anya and her parents were here this weekend so I figured she could get it to you. I realized after coming home that we never exchanged contact information but I kind of like it that way. It's kind of fun and makes the next few weeks, before I'm up for Thanksgiving, more of a mystery and clandestine. So I've included my address so that you can write me back but we'll leave it at that until I'm back in Toronto and kissing your lips, and other body parts, again.

I will tell you I've missed those lips and your taste. I do wish I'd gotten a picture of you though, I try to describe your beauty to my friends and I'm sure my words don't do you justice.

I haven't just been sitting around missing you, I do that a lot though, I've been busy getting ready for hockey season. I'm counting the days to Thanksgiving when I can kiss you again, and hold you again. And I'll see you in my dreams.

Thinking of (and wishing I was kissing) you,

Jeff

"So what does lover boy say?" Eli asks coming into my room.

"Why?" I question closing the letter and rolling onto my side to look at Eli as he sits on my bed.

"Just curious what makes you blush and what gets you hot," Eli smirks.

"You could just ask," I grin.

"Not when I can hear you, come on we have a project to work on. You can study my sister later," Adam says from my doorway.

"I was warned to stay away from you because of your big brothers but Adam doesn't seem too protective," Eli comments as we get off my bed.

"I'm not the brother you have to worry about," Adam replies. "Besides if I didn't know that Clare would kick you in the nuts if you do something she doesn't like I'd never have let you back to her room alone," he adds and I smile.

We sit on the sofa and begin on our project, everyone else is working on homework and someone put music on the stereo. Adam, Eli and I begin working on our project for media studies but it's not due until Friday so we only work on it for an hour. Since Drew and Spin are both gone and Paige probably isn't coming over Adam and I make dinner with some help from Maya. Eli decides not to stay for dinner and he says goodbye when we begin cooking.

"Are you staying for dinner Owen?" Adam inquires.

"Yeah might as well Zane is taking Tris home," Owen replies.

"You could stay the night, seeing as Drew approves of us and all," I comment setting plates on the table and then go over to him, "and we can finish what we started earlier," I say quietly.

"I can sleep over," Owen says quickly and Bianca laughs.

(SPINNER)

I had a closing shift tonight so I don't get home until after midnight, I expect most of the house to be awake but probably in their rooms. When I open the front door I find Drew on the living room sofa alone, he appears to be doing homework.

"Hey how was work?" He asks as I come in and lock the door.

"Good, made some good tips. How was your shift at the kiosk?" I question.

"Pretty dead since it's a Monday but not dead enough that I got much homework done, only a couple of sales though," Drew tells me.

"Well two commissions is better than none. Are the twin troubles in their rooms?" I ask going into the kitchen to see what's for dinner.

"Yeah Adam, Maya and Zig are jamming in his room and both Maya and Zig are sleeping over, Zig will sleep on the sofa. Clare and Owen are in her room," Drew says as I grab a beer from the fridge after finding no food.

"Where's Bianca?"

"In the shower she wouldn't let me join her," Drew says pouting slightly.

"Cool so a quiet eveni…hang on did you say Owen was in Clare's room?" I inquire going back out to the living room.

"Yeah he's sleeping over in her room."

"Did they start dating?"

"No they've been fooling around so I told Owen that if he was going to fool around with her then he was going to keep the other guys away from her. And he knows if he does anything she doesn't like he'll die slowly and painfully."

"At least Owen is someone we trust. How far have they…she's still…"

"She's a virgin and Owen will make sure she stays that way for as long as possible. Fitz is in TJCS for at least the next six weeks which she's not happy about. But Clare has a new admirer, Eli he's in my grade, and Jeff wrote her a love letter so it's good that Owen's helping us keep an eye on her. Jenna got sick at lunch but she's okay K.C. is with her. Oh and Tris is sleeping at Zane's house, Bianca thinks they'll be dating by morning and Owen will kill Zane if he finds out they are actually dating," Drew informs me without looking up from his homework. I think about everything he just said then I hand him the beer I just opened and turn around for the door. "Where are you going?" Drew inquires.

"I'm going to sleep at Paige's, you seem to have things under control and I think I need a night off," I reply.

"Enjoy the quiet," Drew grins.

I nod and leave the house getting back in my car and making the short drive to Paige's apartment. I have a key so I let myself in and find my gorgeous girlfriend on the sofa watching the news. When she sees me come in she turns off the TV.

"Are you okay? You look exhausted," Paige says getting up and greeting me with a kiss.

"I am exhausted. I needed a night off and Drew has it all under control. I'm just going to go to bed, I hope you don't mind," I tell her.

"Not at all, in fact I'll join you," Paige smiles.

Usually Paige sleeps at my house but I still have a few basics at her place, a toothbrush, deodorant and a couple changes of clothes. We get ready for bed and get in bed, I lie on my back, one arm behind my head and my other arm around Paige who's lying on her side with her head on my chest. Paige's top floor apartment has a skylight over her bed so I'm looking up at the stars.

"You want to talk about it?" Paige asks softly dragging her fingertips over my chest.

"I have no idea what I'm doing. Dad died and left me with three younger siblings who are a handful. I can handle Drew, he's actually matured a lot and if he didn't help me with Adam and Clare I'd really be in trouble. Adam's been his own set of challenges, I feel for what he's going through and I want to do everything I can to protect him. Even after all the therapy sessions I still don't understand what he truly faces everyday being in a body that isn't right. And then there's Clare, I haven't the slightest idea how to raise a girl; I don't think Dad did either but he didn't have to deal with too much of her pubescent years. Do you know she has four suitors now?"

"Did you just say suitors?" Paige laughs.

"Well I don't know what else to call them, and that's not even including Reese, who will die if he gets near her again. I can't even keep track of them, at least Drew can. Did you know she's been hooking up with Owen? Apparently Drew found out and he's got Owen keeping Clare away from other boys, as much as anyone can. I just know she gets into all kinds of trouble we don't know about, I'm not even sure Adam knows all the trouble she gets into."

"I'm sure she does too but she's a teenage girl that's been through a lot in her short life. She's got a good head on her shoulders, she's very intelligent, sweet, generous and caring, it could be a lot worse. No parent knows what they're doing Spin but you're doing a great job and you're not doing it alone."

"Yeah I have you, and our friends but I really couldn't do this without you. You ever think about moving in like permanently?"

"You're asking me to live with you?"

"You're there at least four nights a week now and Bianca's moved in."

"Bianca didn't have much of a choice but I have thought about moving in before. What about Drew, Adam and Clare? It's their house too," Paige says.

"And they love you, for Adam and Clare you've been the closest thing they've ever had to a mom. I would love to come home to you every day, sleep like this every night. I know Clare trusts you and I know she needs a female influence in her life daily, a solid one. Someone she can talk to and so does Bianca. I wouldn't worry nearly as much if I knew you were there. But the number one reason you should move in is because I'm madly in love with you and I want to spend every moment I can with you. I want to marry you one day and if you can survive living with my family, and everyone that drops by our house, then you can survive any house no matter how full. In a few years all my siblings will be out of the house and we can think about having our own kids."

"You've thought about having kids with me? I thought after raising your siblings you'd never want to have kids."

"Of course I want to have kids with you. Having to raise my younger siblings, and most of the kids in our group of friends, has given us a head start on having our own kids."

"You've actually thought about this haven't you? I mean really thought about it."

"Of course I have, thinking of a future with you makes me happy. Almost as happy as having you in my arms," I tell her holding her a little closer.

"I love you Spinner, and I'd love to move in."

I grin and lean down taking her lips for a blissful and loving kiss.

(JENNA)

"How do you feel?" K.C. asks coming into my room he must have come straight here after school.

"Better, my mom said it was probably a bad case of morning sickness, which apparently can happen any time of day," I tell him as he sits on the bed and kisses my forehead.

"My mom will pick us up here after work to take us home. It will be a couple of hours though but I brought your homework from communications technology. Nothing too hard and Mo said there was no homework for music just to practice."

"Thanks, anything interesting happen in school after I left?"

"Eli was pretty interested in that love letter that Clare got from Jeff but not much other than that," he tells me.

"Watching her trying to wrestle the letter from Drew was pretty funny," I laugh remembering Clare jumping on Drew's back to get the letter.

K.C. smiles and hands me my homework, I already did my homework from English and science. Lisa picks us up a little before five and we go back to their apartment. She starts making dinner and I go back to lie in K.C.'s room. Maya is sleeping at Adam's again so it will be pretty quiet tonight. I end up falling asleep and he lets me sleep until morning when I wake up feeling rather hungry.

"If you're not feeling well enough we don't have to go today," K.C. tells me handing me some peppermint tea.

"No we need to go, our appointment with the agency is this afternoon and we'll be looking at potential couples," I reply putting some frozen waffles in the toaster.

We have our first prenatal today which will give us a due date and tell me how pregnant I am. The appointment is before school and after school Lisa is taking us to the agency where we'll meet with a counselor and then begin looking at potential parents. After we eat Lisa drives us to the clinic for my appointment but she stays in the waiting room. After I do a urine test the doctor does an ultrasound but there isn't much to see right now. The whole appointment takes almost two hours but that includes a lot of talking. Based on my urine test, the scan and my last period they tell me I'm eight weeks pregnant and I'm due on March 30th. Lisa takes us to school and says she'll see us after school for our second appointment. She has the day off so she's not missing work to take us to these appointments. We wave to Lisa and go into the school, we've missed most of first period but we knew we would, no point in attending the last fifteen minutes of class so we go to the office and tell them we're here before we sit down.

"I'm feeling a little nauseas again can you grab me a ginger ale from the caf please," I request of K.C. after we've been sitting a short time.

"Yeah no problem," he smiles getting up.

"The bell's about to ring I'm going to get my books from my locker," I tell him.

We walk down the hall together a short ways until he turns to go to the caf. I walk to my locker and start getting out my books. Before the bell even rings I hear Reese's voice, I thought he'd be in class with Clare but he's talking to his friends.

"I'll teach her to say no to me," Reese grumbles and I'm pretty sure he's talking about Clare.

"If you try to hurt Clare or any of us you'll all be flattened like pancakes. Drew's already beat you up twice," I remark.

"I'm not afraid of your little friends," Reese says with a confident smirk.

"Then you're stupider than you look," I reply turning around to close my locker but Reese runs over and grabs my arm.

"Maybe we should start with you blondie," Reese hisses in my ear. Before I can react K.C. runs over and pulls Reese away from me, then he hits Reese in the side. Reese is already recovering from broken ribs so he goes down.

"Stay away from her," K.C. growls at Reese while handing me my ginger ale. Reese's two friends try to grab K.C. but the bell rings and the halls become flooded with students. Just as Reese is trying to fight Reese's friends Mr. Perino comes out and yells for them to stop.

"Reese to the nurse," Perino says since Reese is whining in pain on the floor, "and you three Simpson's office."

K.C. kisses my cheek and walks to the principal's office, Reese's cronies help him up before walking to Simpson's office. I close my locker and walk to class, Wes and Connor have the class with me and I tell them what happened and why K.C. isn't in class. After lunch I go out to the foyer to meet everyone for lunch.

"Where's K.C.?" Bianca questions.

"He got in a fight with Reese and his cronies, Reese went to the nurse and K.C. was sent to Simpson's office with Reese's friends," I explain pulling out my phone to see if he sent a text. "He says he got lunch time detention today and for the rest of the week," I tell them as we begin walking to The Dot. "Where's Clare?" I inquire noting her absence and knowing her brothers would never leave without her.

"She stayed home sick," Drew tells me.

"She was fine last night," Owen grins. Drew gives him a look but doesn't say anything.

"She told Spin she had menstrual cramps and he let her stay home," Adam whispers to me. Spin and Drew both shy away from those things, when Clare and Adam, since he is still in a girl's body, got their periods Spin called Paige in a panic. However I know Clare is not on her period and must have had different reasons for staying home.

"So what's she really doing?" I question Adam but keep my voice low, of course Drew is talking to Owen about football practice so I doubt he'd hear us anyway.

"Trying to figure out what she wants I think, anyway she needed some time alone," Adam tells me as we enter The Dot. We all greet Spinner and order before sitting at a table. Zane comes in waving at Tris which earns him a little glare from Owen.

"Tris and Zane have a date on Friday and Owen's not too happy about it," Maya explains to me.

"I think Reese is planning to hurt Clare, possibly Drew or Fitz but Fitz is in juvie and well Drew will beat his face through his skull. Anyway he said something in the hall about teaching her not say no to him so I assume he meant Clare. K.C. hit Reese in his already cracked ribs so he probably went home and I'm sure he'll be hurting too much to try anything today but you guys should still be vigilant, you know more than normal."

"If Reese comes anywhere near any of us he'll die lots," Drew replies while Owen nods in agreement.

"So how was your appointment this morning?" Maya asks me.

"Good I'm eight weeks, I'm due March 30th and we're both healthy. The appointment I'm worried about is this afternoon," I confess as Spin and Karen bring over our drinks.

"Having second thoughts?" Bianca asks.

"No I know giving up the baby for adoption is the right thing, K.C. and I are not ready to be parents but there's still a lot to worry about. What if we don't find the right couple? What if none of the couples like us?"

"Relax Jenna I'm sure it will be fine," Adam assures me and I give him a grateful smile.

We stay at The Dot until we have to walk back to school for classes. We hear through the grapevine that Reese and his buddies got detention afterschool all week for fighting with K.C., who I find waiting in our third period class. He tells me, Adam and Zig about detention and Adam tells him Clare stayed home sick. My two afternoon classes are my favorite ones and they go by pretty quickly. K.C. picks me up from music and we walk outside finding Lisa in her car waiting to take us to our appointment. Again she stays in the waiting room and K.C. and I go back meeting with the counselor. After she's sure that we are both in 100% agreement that adoption is the right thing we have more forms to fill out. We already filled out a bunch online but there are even more.

"Well normally this is where I'd begin handing you files of the potential parents but one of our applicant couples knows you both. I invited them to this appointment if it's alright with you I'll bring them in," the counselor says when we're done filling out the paperwork.

"Sure," I reply trying to think of who we might know that wants to have children and decided to adopt. The counselor goes to a second door in the room and opens it stepping aside so the couple can enter.

"Joey, Caitlin!" K.C. and I both exclaim in the same surprised but delighted tone. We don't know them all that well but we do know them. They went to high school with Emma's parents, Caitlin is a reporter now but lots of DeGrassi kids have had co-op with her. Joey sponsors the DeGrassi soccer teams so he's always at games and often at the other school events. Since both of them are very close to Spike and Snake we've seen them at the Simpson-Nelson Christmas party every year.

"Hi," Caitlin smiles as they sit down near us. "We were very surprised to see your names but were happy to do this with someone we know."

"You don't have to choose us of course, we're only one of many applicants. If you do choose us we want to be involved for everything. Every appointment and birthing class and the birth of course. And then we want you to be as involved as you want after the baby is born."

"No this is perfect, I can't think of anything better of course we're choosing you," I smile and look at K.C., "right?"

"Yeah this is great, I was a little worried about choosing a couple but this is great."

"Well then if everyone is in agreement I'll get the paperwork started," the counselor tells us. We all say we agree and she leaves the room.

"There's one other thing, we didn't want this to sway your decision but we talked about it and decided if you did chose us we wanted you to be the Godparents," Caitlin tells us.

"That would be amazing," I smile and get up to hug her. I was so worried about this whole thing but now I know our child will be in good hands and it's a very happy, peaceful feeling.

Look I didn't end on a cliffhanger! The update next Saturday will begin in Clare's pov and what she did all day since she faked sick to stay home from school.