Unlike last Saturday when I had nothing to do today was actually quite busy and didn't leave much time for writing so it's a short chapter.
Ch. 18 I Don't Care & I Don't Need You
(CLARE)
The early fall evening is hardly dark, between the moon, streetlights, house lights and even the lights from the planes that fly overhead. There's noises everywhere, Mr. Branson's TV is so loud I can hear the old and overdramatic cop show he's watching from out here. The Waller's baby is screaming, cars rush past, the Cougan's are arguing, it's all noise. But none of it is my brothers or their friends or boys that I like so it's not annoying. I have no destination in mind I just keep walking, walking fast and my only thought is to get out of my neighborhood and away from my house. I want to go somewhere that no one will know me as the Mason baby sister or anyone's sister for that matter. I wander the streets for a while before a group of guys finds me. As they approach one of them wolf whistles at me.
"You look lonely," One of the guys says.
"I'm fine thanks," I reply trying to walk past them but they block me.
"I know you, you're Drew Mason's kid sister," another comments. Apparently it's impossible for me to go anywhere without people knowing who I am.
"What of it?" I question.
"Just surprised to see you wandering by yourself is all," he replies.
"I needed to get out of the house and I don't need any escort. If some guy tries anything I don't like I'll castrate him. I've got three brothers by blood and another half-dozen or so not by blood I'm not related to. One thing I do know is how to take care of myself. The last boy that tried to rape me was sent to the hospital," I comment.
"I believe it," one of them grins.
"So where you off to?" Asks another.
"Anywhere I can think and there aren't too many people," I respond pushing my way past them and they move.
I keep walking, wandering and meandering aimlessly, I don't think about where I'm going or where to turn I just turn. The walk does clear my head and let me think, only by the time I'm ready to go home I have no idea where I am. I left everything at home including my purse and phone; I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going so I can't retrace my steps. I'm certain that I'm out of Riverdale and when I reach an intersection I don't even recognize the street names.
"This could be problematic," I comment to myself looking around. I walk a few more blocks before finding a gas station. "Hi can I use your phone please? It's a local call," I request of the guy behind the counter, he looks like he's in his early twenties.
"Yeah I guess," he shrugs handing me the phone. I'm not about to call my brothers, calling Paige or Bianca will be just as bad and Lucas is at work. I could call Owen I suppose but I don't much feel like it. I decide to call Johnny because he'll be the least likely to yell at me. He doesn't answer the first time I call probably because it's an unfamiliar number. So I call back right away and this time he does answer.
"DiMarco."
"It's me Johnny, I need a ride home."
"From Eli's?" He asks.
"I'm not at Eli's I'm at a gas station on the corner of Galt and Dagmar."
"You're wh…never mind I'm on my way you can explain later," Johnny remarks.
"Thanks Johnny," I reply and hang up. "Thanks, you mind if I wait inside my friend will be here soon," I tell the guy behind the counter and he responds by shrugging. It takes Johnny almost half an hour to get here and when I see his car I go out and get in the passenger seat.
"Alright what the hell are you doing all the way out here?" Johnny questions.
"I had to get out, I needed to think and you know how impossible that is at my house," I reply. That's all Johnny says about it, he doesn't utter another word until we get back to my house.
"You want me to come in with you?" Johnny offers.
"No I'm going to sneak back in through my window. Thanks for the ride Johnny; I don't suppose we can keep this between us?"
"I won't say anything but no more wandering at night okay? If you need to get out then find another way. Just 'cause we're always at your house doesn't mean you can't crash at one of our houses," Johnny tells me.
I smile at him, kiss his cheek and get out of the car. I climb back in my window, sit on my bed and take off my shoes. Before I can start getting ready for bed my door opens and my light turns on. I look over to see Adam in my room looking both angry and relieved.
"Where in the hell have you been?" Adam inquires shutting my door.
"Walking," I reply.
"Walking? Walking where? You can't just sneak out a…"
"Adam stop," I cut my twin off sharply. "I can't think in this damn house and I didn't want to be here. I went walking, I'm not a child and I'm not helpless and I don't need you or Drew or Spin or anyone else to lecture me. Just leave me alone Adam I just want to go to bed."
Adam sighs but leaves my room; I lock my door and get ready for bed. I know Adam didn't tell anyone else I was gone or my brothers would have had everyone out looking for me. I don't write a letter to Jeff tonight I just can't bring myself to do it, still too much swimming in my mind. I also can't sleep, I lie awake for a long time thinking, tossing and turning and what little sleep I do get is plagued by disturbing dreams. I wake up early, before the rest of the house and leave a note for my brothers that I went to Johnny's.
(BIANCA)
I wake up to Drew's stomach growling; I smile and turn over to kiss him good morning. Drew smiles and keeps kissing me until his stomach growls again.
"I guess it's time to get up," Drew comments.
"Yeah and eat," I remark.
Drew and I get up and get dressed, he goes to the washroom and I go into the kitchen. The first thing I notice is a note on the chalkboard in the kitchen that says Clare went to Johnny's.
"Anything to eat?" Drew inquires.
"Yeah cereal unless you want to cook. Your sister went to Johnny's place."
"When?"
"I don't know. She's at Johnny's she's safe and at least she left a note," I respond.
"Yeah because if she just disappears Spin and I will find a way to get her a chastity belt and keep her in a tower," Drew responds.
"Right like that would make her stay home," Adam comments coming into the kitchen.
"Don't you think if you and the others weren't so hard on her she wouldn't be so much trouble?" I remark as we make ourselves cereal for breakfast.
"No she's always been trouble," Drew argues and I roll my eyes.
"He won't listen," Adam whispers to me and notices Clare's note on the chalkboard.
Just after we sit down Maya comes into the kitchen and makes herself cereal. When we're almost done with breakfast Spin and Paige come into kitchen.
"Why'd she go to Johnny's?" Spin inquires.
"She was upset last night and I think she just wanted to get out for a bit," Adam says.
"Upset about what? Did Eli do something?" Spin questions.
"No but he wasn't what she was expecting and…well I don't know it's not like I can read her mind and she wouldn't talk to me last night," Adam replies in a tone that's a mix of anger, frustration and worry.
"I have to go into work soon are you going to be okay today?" Drew asks me after we leave the table and go back into his room.
"I can take care of myself," I shoot back.
"I know that but I mean with your mom still hanging about and all," Drew says.
"I'll be fine, I'll come and bring you lunch."
"I love you," Drew grins capturing my lips for a sweet kiss.
"I love you too," I smile.
I stay with him while he gets ready for work and then kiss him again before he leaves for work. Spin is also getting ready for work and Paige is taking Adam and Maya to her place. Paige must run errands after that because once Spin leaves I have the house to myself. Only for a few minutes before Lucas shows up, then Zig and then Paige returns. A little before Drew's due to go on lunch I pack a lunch for us and drive to the mall.
"Hey Sexy," Drew smiles when he sees me coming.
"Hi Handsome ready for lunch?"
"Starved," he replies. He tells Max that he's going on lunch and we sit at a table in the food court. We talk a little over lunch, when he's done eating we just sit with his arm around me. "You know I'm going to marry you some day," Drew whispers in my ear. His fingers trace down my arm before he puts his hand on mine interlacing our fingers.
"We will huh?"
"Yeah we will, not for a while I ain't dumb. You'll go to some great university and I'll go wherever you do. Although maybe I'll wait until Clare and Adam are out of high school so I can help Spin with the bills and rent and stuff."
"That seems reasonable. Are you really thinking about marriage?"
"I'll tell you a little secret, I've been thinking of marrying you since the first time we kissed," Drew tells me and I smile turning my head to kiss him. "I should get back to work, I'll see you at home Gorgeous," Drew grins and kisses me again before I let him up.
He goes back to the kiosk and I toss our trash before going back out to the car. When I get to my car I find my mom leaning on it.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Bianca we need to talk."
"You want to talk? Fine let's talk; let's talk about how you dropped me at your little sister's house when you couldn't deal with being a parent. Let's talk about how she didn't want me either and for whatever reason she kept me around but did nothing more than give me a roof over my head. She spent my whole life ignoring me, making me feel like I was less than nothing because in her eyes I wasn't even there. Thank goodness I had good friends because if I didn't I'd probably be dead in a ditch right now or on the streets. Juliana never cared about me, I was more than a burden to her and she never cared what happened to me. She brought men home from the time I can remember, she never cared when they looked at me or tried to touch me or they tried to rape me. I'm sure she was glad to be rid of me. The day you left me with Juliana and never looked back is the day you gave up any right to ever see me again. You might have given birth to me but you are not my mother. And since you can't seem to leave me the fuck alone I'm going straight to the police station to file harassment charges."
I get in my car and my mom moves away as I peel out, I drive straight to the police station and tell the desk clerk I want to file harassment charges. He gives me a stack of paper work to fill out and I sit down calling Paige before I start filling any of it out.
"Hey Bianca."
"Hey after I left Drew I found my mom leaning on my car. I told her off and now I'm at the police station to file harassment charges. I might be a while there's a lot of paperwork."
"You need some support?" She asks.
"Yes thanks that would be good."
"I'll be right there," she says and hangs up.
I set down my phone and look at the paperwork. I really hope my mom gets the picture and stays away for good this time.
(SEAN)
I wake up to the sound of my alarm; it's a little after seven and I have to be at work at nine. After we made sure Eli knew he would die if he tried anything with Clare Emma and I went out. We stayed out late and then went back to her place for dessert and sexy time. I would have stayed over but we both had to be up early and I figured I better get home and check on Mom. I found her passed out drunk in her room, which is where I find her this morning. After I make sure that she's still breathing I change into my work clothes and eat breakfast.
"Hey Sean," Jay nods to me when I get into the garage.
"Hey, you have fun last night?"
"Yeah met a girl, danced a little, drank a little and you know," he replies.
We clock in and find out what cars we're working on. I take lunch first and call Emma while I eat. She worked early this morning but is now at home studying for a test she has this week in her environmental law and policy class. Jay goes to lunch as soon as I get back.
"Got a message from Paige, Bianca's mom showed up again and Bianca's at the police station filing harassment charges against her mom," Jay tells me when he gets back from lunch.
"Good I hope her mom stays away this time."
Jay nods and we go back to work. We both get off at six when the garage closes. We go back to the locker room to get our stuff.
"I'm going to go to the Mason's and see how things went with Bianca's mom. I'll just shower there, might sleep over since I'm off tomorrow," Jay says.
"Cool I'm going home to shower and eat, see if Mom has woken up from her drunken coma yet but I might stop by later."
Jay nods and we say goodbye as we walk out and get in our cars. I drive home and walk in the door to find the place is thrashed. It looks like we've been robbed but before I can call the cops I hear a crash coming from Fitz's room and I run back to see what's going on. Instead of finding a robber I find our mom tearing apart Fitz's room.
"Mom what are you doing?"
"We're dry I need money to go to the store," Mom tells me trying to pull Fitz's mattress off his bed.
"Fitz doesn't keep cash under his mattress. What happened to the gin I bought you just the other day?"
"I drank it. I need a fix baby give me some cash."
"Sleep it off, I'm going to shower," I tell her and she slaps me. I ignore her and go into the washroom to shower.
After a long shower I find Mom is gone, she took most of the cash I keep hidden in my desk for emergencies. I'm pissed but I'm not going to go running after her. I'll confront her when she gets back; she needs to go back into rehab. I clean up a little and then make a quick dinner of canned soup and toast. Mom gets home before I'm done eating, she's carrying two bags and I hear glass bottles clinking in the bags.
"That's the last of it, you'll get no more money from me for liquor you're going back into rehab," I inform her.
"I need it baby, I need it to keep me going," Mom says opening a bottle.
"You don't need liquor Mom you want it so you don't have to deal with the reality that your husband left you. Well Dad left me and Fitz too, Fitz don't even remember him. Instead of being a mom you dove into a bottle of liquor and never came up. Fitz and I stayed around and took care of you even though you never took care of us. You know we got into trouble a lot because of you, at least half the times Fitz has been in TJCS has been because of you. Because he was swiping some medicine for you, or some new clothes because you were so drunk you tore up your clothes. Either you get dry or we're done, I'll take Fitz and we'll move and you'll never see us again. We've given you every chance in the world we stayed and took care of you and it was more than you deserved. You finish what you have and then I'm driving you to rehab and if you don't stay dry this time you'll never see either of us again."
"No, no I can't live without it," Mom shakes her head and puts the bottle to her mouth chugging it.
"You'll live without it or you'll live without us. Look at the house Mom; you destroyed it looking for cash. I should have taken Fitz a long time ago. We're better off without you. You're a coward and you've done more harm than good in our lives. You know what you're not even going to finish those bottles I'm getting rid of them and you're going to rehab now," I say grabbing one of the bottles from the bag and opening it. I start pouring it down the sink and Mom screams.
"NOOOO what are you doing?" She shrikes taking the bottle in her hand and hitting me in the face with it.
I hear a crack and feel the crunch of the glass as it splits. I don't realize the bottle has shattered on my face until I feel the blood flowing down my cheek. I grab my mom's wrist and shake her hand until she drops the bottle, then shove her away from me. I grab a roll of duct tape and tape her arms behind her back before she does anything else. Then I call the cops, I tell them briefly what happened and they send a patrol car and an ambulance. While waiting for them I grab a towel and hold it on my face to try and stop the bleeding. Mom is yelling and hollering about how she needs liquor and we're terrible kids but I ignore her.
"Sean it's Officer Turner," he calls through the door.
"Yeah come in," I call back and the door opens.
"He attacked me arrest him," Mom says when they come in.
"Sean you need to go straight to the hospital I'll call Emma," Turner tells me and the EMTs come in.
"Yeah put her in rehab and don't let her out," I comment as the EMTs take me out to the ambulance.
I know Turner will take care of it and I get in the ambulance. Once we're at the hospital I get rushed back to a room and they put gauze on my face. When they get the bleeding under control I'm taken down for X-rays and when I get back to my room Emma is there.
"Oh my gosh. Your mom did this?"
"Yeah she's been put in rehab and I hope she stays dry but I'm kicking her out. I'm done taking care of her, so is Fitz, she's just poison to us. If she can clean up and stay sober maybe she can be part of our lives again but I should have done this a long time ago," I say and then a doctor comes in.
"Sean your zygomatic and maxilla bones, that's the cheek bone and the bones just under your eye socket, have been broken. We need to operate, we'll prep you for surgery immediately," the doc says.
"Give me one minute doc," I request and he nods leaving the room when he's gone I take Emma's hands.
"This is not how I wanted to do this, bloody and broken and all but I know one thing Emma Simpson-Nelson, I know how much I love you. I know how deeply in love with you I am, I know how much you care about Fitz and I know I can't picture my life without you. Move in with us, move in with us and marry me?"
Emma pulls in a breath, she's shocked but she smiles, "Yes I'll marry you." She tries to kiss me but I'm all bloody and swollen so she kisses my hand just as the doctor comes back in. "I'll call the others and tell them what happened," Emma tells me as they start prepping me for surgery.
"Thanks call TJCS too and tell Fitz will you?"
"Of course," Emma smiles, "I'll go up and see him they might let me in."
It's the day of bad moms! Update next Saturday will pick up in Fitz's pov and probably include Monday at school.