Title: Demons Singing Big Bang Theory
Premise: Demon Trio. Astaroth (fiend), Helkath (voidwalker), Quiztai (imp), and a Dementor sing The Big Bang Theory theme song. Crack. I do NOT own this song, nor do I profit from this story.
All four demons sat around in Astaroth's apartment, all standing up in stance, waiting for him to press "start on the remote.
"Alright, you guys ready to go again?" the fiend asked with a smirk.
"Come on, dude!" Quiztai snapped giddily, "let's just go already!"
"Yes!" Helkath hissed raspily, "I am actually having fun with this!"
Mor'du, the dementor simply hovered beside Helkath.
At last, Astaroth clicked the button on the remote, and dropped it down. The song started booming from the TV surround sound.
Astaroth started singing the first notes:
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
Everyone held their breaths for the last line, as the music sped up, and they all started dancing.
Astaroth:
The Earth began to cool,
The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools,
We built a wall (Others: we built the pyramids),
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,
That all started with the big bang! (HEY!)
Helkath and the dementor took it up from there, swaying together as they sang. Astaroth continued to wave his fingers as though he were conducting an orchestra.
"A-Since the dawn of man" is really not that long,
As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song.
A fraction of a second and the elements were made.
Astaroth: The bipeds stood up straight,
The dinosaurs all met their fate, (Quiztai: Ka-Boom!)
They tried to leap but they were late
And they all died (Others: they burnt their asses off)
Astaroth and Quiztai: The oceans and pangea
See ya wouldn't wanna be ya
Set in motion by the same big bang!
It all started with the big (ALL: BANG!)
Everyone lined up in a chorusline, arms and shoulderslocked, and sangtogether.
All: It's expanding ever outward but one day
It will cause the stars to go the other way,
Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it wont be heard
Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang!
Quiztai slid across the table, playing a rockin' solo on a mini electric guitar, his fingers dancing feverishly across the strings. The other guys raised their bear glasses and cheered him on.
"Rock on, Quiz!" Astaroth screamed, taking a sip of his beer.
In the room next door, The Regent of the Mask was holding his little dog, Remus in his arms, doing a kind of waltz with him.
Dagra Dai was in his office, snapping his fingers.
The rest of the dorm was not enjoying the loud music so much. Some were getting very annoyed.
Finally, Quiztai finished his solo, and spun up to his feet and continued the song.
Quiztai: Australopithecus
Would really have been sick of us
Debating how we're here there, catching deer (All: we're catching viruses)
All: Religion or astronomy, Encarta, Deuteronomy
It all started with the big bang!
Helkath: Music
Quiztai: and mythology,
Mor'du: Einstein
Astaroth: and astrology
It all started with the big bang!
(Quiztai: Everybody now!)
All: It all started with the big BANG!
Everyone held that last note for a moment, and then they all fell over laughing.
"GOD!" Quiztai panted, "I love that show!"
"And we got the song perfect this time!" Astaroth chuckled. "We should do this for the school talent show!"
"That... is an excellent... idea!" Helkath blurted out in between laughs.
Suddenly, as their laughs died down, they heard a loud knock at the door.
Astaroth got to his feet and waddled over to the door, opening it.
Kurumu stood at the front of the line, holding a torch. Behind her stood a long line of monsters, all holding pitchforks and torches.
"Shut the Hell up, you douche monkies!" Kurumu bellowed. "Some of us are trying to sleep here!"
"And some of us are trying to do our homework!" Mizore added behind her.
"That does not concern us!" Helkath bellowed.
"Crucify these assholes!" Someone from the crowd shouted.
"Look, people, we're just having fun here," Quiztai squeaked up, trying to sound calm.
"GET 'EM!" Another person screamed.
The room flooded with angry monsters. Helkath started punching off a few intruders, but they were coming in too fast.
Then, Astaroth and Quiztai conjured fire, and created a barrier between themselves and the attackers, burning many alive.
Finally, Mor'du, started sucking in as hard as he could, sucking out people's souls like a tornado.
Before long, the mob was defeated, but the apartment building was a mess.