If you've been to the DeGrassi Saviors site then you are aware that October will be the last time long stories are update until January. If you haven't been to the site then you should because my writing calendar, along with many other things, are there. November is one shot month, yes an entire month of one shots. And December is short story month; each short story will get three chapters that month before the holiday break.

Ch. 19 She Wants More than All She Knows

(FITZ)

"You think you'll make it out of here in two weeks?" Elias asks as we get our lunch trays.

"I've been doing everything I can to make sure that I do. I'll get home just in time for Thanksgiving," I reply as we walk towards a table with Cliff.

Reese glowers at me as I approach the table where he's sitting with his friends. He hangs out with the lowest bottom feeders here. Tom, Steve and Bob all of which have been in here more than a year without seeing the outside, Bob's been in here almost three years and he's only sixteen. When he was thirteen he was part of a group that robbed a store, the clerk died and Bob was convicted of being an accessory to murder, among other things. He has two years left on his sentence but since he keeps getting in trouble in here he'll be transferred to an adult facility.

When Reese first arrived I knew it would be trouble but I've been doing all that I can to avoid him. Fighting with him will only get me in trouble and keep me from getting out. My friends have been helping and I keep reminding myself I'm getting out of here to be with Clare. I can't be a man for her if I'm still stuck in juvie. Watching my temper is a big part of that. I've always responded to threats and anger with violence but I'm learning to control it.

Reese puts his foot out to trip me but I see it and step aside. Elias, Cliff and I sit with our friends. We're talking about classes this morning and what to do this evening when Reese comes over leaning on the end of the table looking at me.

"When I get out of here she's mine again," Reese says.

"I'll be out of here long before you will. Even if I wasn't her brothers would never let you near her again. Now get lost your stench is disrupting my meal," I reply in a calm voice.

Reese grits his teeth and glares at me, he pushes off the table and turns like he's going to walk away then he spins back and punches me hard before I can react. I clench my fist, my instinct is to hit him back and start fighting but if I'm caught fighting it means I won't be released when I want to be. So I take a deep breath and release my fist just as a guard yells at Reese.

"DELANCEY THAT'S TOILET DUTY FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS," the guard says and Reese grumbles. "Get to your room Delancey you're done eating."

Reese storms out of the mess and we go back to eating. After lunch we have class and then yard time before chores. I have mopping duty along with Elias, it's not so bad as chores go, I'd rather be mopping than have washroom duty, kitchen duty or even laundry duty. After chores we have dinner and Reese isn't at dinner so he's still in trouble or in more trouble which is possible, he's been in here less than two weeks and already been in solitary twice. More chores after dinner and then free time, we go to the rec room, the TV is on and a football game is going. Guards are in the room since sports can cause fights so the guards are watching closely. I play poker with Elias, Cliff and Carter, we can't actually play for anything because that would be considered gambling but we still play.

"Bed time boys," the guard says at nine. We set down our cards and start getting ready for bed.

"Fitzgerald you have an emergency visitor," a guard tells me poking his head into the washroom where most of us are brushing our teeth.

Since we're only allowed family visitors, Clare's unauthorized visit does not count as no one knew she was here, and Mom never comes I rush to the visitor's room expecting my brother. At first I'm shocked to see Emma and then I'm scared, if Emma is here it means something happened to Sean or they never would have let her in.

"Emma what are you doing here? Is Sean…he's not…" I gasp the thought that my brother is dead or terribly hurt is heart stopping.

"Sean's alive he's just in the hospital having surgery, they almost didn't let me see you but I convinced them," Emma tells me as I sit down at the table. "What happened to your face?"

"Reese hit me but I didn't hit him back. Surgery? Surgery for what? What's wrong with Sean?"

"Your mom attacked him, hit him with a bottle and it broke on his face. It broke his cheek bone and the bone below his eye. He's having surgery to repair the bones but he's fine alive and everything. Your mom is being taken to rehab; if she doesn't stay sober he won't let her back into your lives. She needs more help than either of you can give her and she doesn't want any help."

"Yeah Mom just keeps slipping and she's hurt us before. Sean did the right thing she's just going to get worse if we keep taking care of her," I nod solemnly. I love my mom because she's my mom, she gave us life but it's about all she's ever done for us. She's been a parasite to us ever since Dad left and we've been taking care of her out of a sense of duty, even though it's been slowly killing me and Sean.

"There is some happier news, tonight at the hospital Sean asked me to move in," Emma says and I smile. "He also asked me to marry him and I said yes."

"That's great news, and it's about time you two have been dating forever and you make my brother incredibly happy. Does this mean you'll be at the house when I get out of here?"

"Yeah I'll start moving in this week and see about breaking my lease or subletting but I'll be there. It's our home now and Sean and I will make it a nice home before you come back."

"Times up," a guard calls in and we stand up.

"Thanks for coming Em, tell Sean I'm thinking about him and to get better."

"I will, I still have to call everyone else I came straight here but I'm going back to the hospital to be there when Sean is out of surgery."

I nod and hug Emma quickly before going back to my room, escorted by the guard. I share a room with Elias and Cliff and they both look at me when I come in.

"What's up?" Cliff asks.

"My mom went nuts and attacked my brother he's in the hospital; she broke a bottle on his face. He'll be okay after some surgery to repair broken bones."

"If your brother is in the hospital who came to see you?"

"His fiancé, he asked her to marry him tonight and they let her in. Sean kicked my mom out of the house and into rehab and Emma's moving in. Just more reason for me to get out of here as soon as possible."

(CLARE)

"I ordered a pizza for lunch," Johnny says when I come out of the washroom. I came over very early this morning and I plan to spend my entire Sunday here. As long as my brothers know I'm somewhere safe I'm fine.

"Thanks," I smile.

"You have to eat and I doubt you want my cooking," Johnny replies. Johnny lives with his Dad, his parents divorced and his mom moved to Europe so he never sees her. His older brother Aron is going to school in New Brunswick. His dad works nights in a warehouse so he's sleeping right now.

"Will your dad care that I'm here if he wakes up?" I question.

"No he won't be up until at least four and then he'll eat and get ready to go to work; he probably won't even realize you're here. So are you hiding out for any particular reason?"

"Same reason I went walking last night I just needed to get out. I thought I liked Eli but when we were together I didn't feel anything for him, I couldn't stop thinking about Jeff or Fitz. I also felt so different, his family is wealthy, they have money and they travel and we have a little house that Dad left us and the farthest I've ever been is Ottawa for a school trip. All I saw was our differences, our vast differences and I realized I shouldn't be there. As much as I love my family and all of you I came home to a house full of people who didn't even let me breathe before asking a bunch of questions and assuming that Eli did something. Even Adam followed me back to my room and sometimes I just want to be alone. No other girl in our group is treated like me and I'm not the youngest Maya is. So why am I the only that is so guarded and treated like I'm helpless. And don't tell me it's because I'm the only girl that's not with someone in our group."

"That's part of it, I mean as soon as Maya was old enough she began dating Adam. Jenna and K.C. were the same way so were Drew and Bianca, not a lot of girls in our group. Paige and Emma have always dated in our group or people we know well. And they only became a part of our group when Paige became friends with Spin and Em became friends with her. It's more than that though," Johnny replies.

"Okay then what is it?" I inquire.

"Honestly you scream "protect me" you are a victim, you make yourself one and you put it out there," Johnny informs me.

"What? I don't scream that! The last thing I want is to be protected I want freedom and trust and not to be treated like I'm some delicate fairytale princess."

"I know but subconsciously you scream it and people pick up on it. It's why guys like Reese prey on you, why every time someone we don't know glances at you we glare at them. It's probably not all you, growing up with three older brothers and a dad. Adam was always a guy and being the only girl they naturally protected you. As the rest of us came into the group we picked up on it and it became habit, instinct, second nature we're just always aware when someone is close to you that we don't know. And you learned that no matter what trouble you got yourself into one of us would always be there to get you out of it. It kept you from getting picked on when you were little, kept guys from looking at you and kept most of the guys at DeGrassi from hitting on you. The older you got, the more your brothers and dad tightened the reigns because they didn't know what to do with a girl and you began fighting against it. Sneaking out and hitting on guys without your brothers knowing, hooking up with Owen. The more you fight against it and rebel the tighter the reigns get."

"And just how did you come by this insight and why don't you share it with my brother's Mr. Smarty-Pants?" I question with a slightly sarcastic tone.

"I'm taking a psychology course at school and if I thought Drew and Spin or anyone else would listen and understand then I would."

"Well that fucking sucks and if it's just because my family was so protective of me why don't the other girls have it? Like Maya K.C.'s always been real protective of her and she's been in the group nearly as long as he has."

"Maya only had one over protective brother until us and she doesn't scream "protect me" like you do. She's quiet and shy, obsessed with music and that's why she and Adam fit so perfectly. Bianca has a dangerous vibe to her, still doesn't stop creeps from getting to her like the guy that tried to rape her, but she doesn't generally go making trouble and it doesn't find her the way it does you. Plus Bianca never had anyone until us she was always on her own which taught her to be tough and instinctive. Jenna's a lot like Maya, she likes music and she's been dating K.C. for what three years now? Jenna's more outgoing but she also only had one brother who spent most of her life at school in the states. Anyway Jenna's always put most of her energy into K.C., music and cheerleading. Emma's always had a cause to fight for and put her energy into and she was never very worried about guys. Paige was but she also put her energy into things like cheerleading and after Dean she began dating Spin so yeah you're the only one. You've always had someone there to pick you up when you were down, had someone to step in when someone was giving you trouble, we know you can fight your own battles but we still do it for you. Growing up in your house and with so many friends with so many problems you had to fight for attention, you draw the attention just by being you whether you like it or not."

"I hate it. Like I said this fucking sucks are you always going to treat me like that?"

"I'm sure you'll go away to some fancy college and we'll stop."

"College is expensive we don't have that kind of money and as much as I hate being treated that way I'm so close to my family, by blood and extended. We've always depened on each other. Going to a faraway school would be so hard, leaving my brothers and all of you."

"Well you've got two years to decide and a lot can happen in two years."

"So why don't I think that's enough time for them to start treating me differently," I huff as there's a knock on the door.

Johnny smiles and answers the door paying for the pizza. We eat and watch TV as I think about what Johnny said, as frustrating as it is Johnny is right about all of it. When his dad gets up he nods to us, microwaves some dinner and goes back to his room. An hour later his dad leaves after saying a quick goodbye and telling Johnny to clean up a little. Johnny and I finish off the pizza for dinner and just as I'm thinking about getting home Johnny's cell phone rings.

"Hey Adam she's still…shit when?" Johnny asks with fear and anger in his tone so I know Adam's not calling about me.

"What is it?" I question.

"We'll meet you guys there," Johnny says into the phone and then hangs up looking at me. "Sean's in the hospital his mom attacked him," Johnny tells me.

I grab my purse and run out the door with Johnny getting in his car. For the first time that day my mind is not mired in thoughts of self-pity and my own frustration. All thoughts of myself and my brothers are pushed aside by worry for our friend. When we arrive at the hospital just about everyone else is here, the only one missing, aside from Fitz of course, is Lucas but he has work tonight.

"How is he? What happened?" I question.

"He'll be alright, I don't know everything but his mom hit him with a bottle and the bottle broke on Sean's face. He fractured some bones in his face and he's in surgery right now which will take another two to three hours. His mom was taken to rehab but Sean told me he was done taking care of her and so is Fitz. Sean kicked her out and asked me to move in, also to marry him," Emma tells us.

"Emma that's incredible I'm so happy for you," I smile hugging her.

After I hug Emma Johnny does the same and congratulates her. After releasing Emma I sit down by Adam.

"Feel any better after escaping for the day?" Adam asks me.

"I'm not sure," I reply and Adam doesn't press the subject.

Emma says she called Lucas to let him know but since he's at work he won't get it until his break. She also tells us she went to see Fitz to tell him and I almost ask her how Fitz is doing but I remain quiet. We all spend the next couple of hours waiting for news about Sean, we're mostly silent and watching the TV in the waiting room. Finally a doctor comes in.

"The surgery went well, they're closing him up now and he'll be taken back to his room shortly. He won't be awake for several hours yet and when he is he won't be able to speak right away. We had to place metal plates and small metal pins on the bones to help the bones heal and fuse together. We'll keep him here a couple of days to watch for infection and complications then he go home."

"Thank you doctor," Emma says. The doctor nods and leaves and Emma looks at all of us. "You should all go home; I'm going to stay with Sean tonight. He won't be awake but I need to be here. I'll call you if anything happens and you can come see him tomorrow," Emma tells us.

"Call us if you need anything," Paige insists and Emma nods.

We all say goodbye to Emma and I ride home with Spin and Paige while Adam and Maya ride with Drew and Bianca. It's not that late when we arrive home but everyone is tired, Spinner works a day shift tomorrow, Paige works too and the rest of us have school. No one says anything but we all go to our rooms. I'm not tired yet and I write a letter to Jeff. I tell him what happened to Sean and some of what Johnny said to me earlier. I get the letter ready to mail before getting ready for bed. I have a restless sleep that night, tossing and turning, my mind churning from one thought to the next. When my alarm goes off I get up with a tired groan. I snatch the washroom first and hop in a shower instead of eating breakfast.

"Emma called Sean's awake and he's doing well although he's a little frustrated that he can't really talk," Paige tells me when I come into the kitchen. Everyone else is already in here and eating breakfast.

"It could have been a lot worse their mom is a terrible drunk I'm honestly surprised it's the first time either one has been in the hospital because of her," Drew comments and I nod.

"You have enough time to eat cereal unless you just want a granola bar," Adam tells me.

"Not hungry," I reply and everyone looks at me. "I'm just not hungry nothing to be worried about," I tell them.

"With you there's always something to be worried about," Spinner mutters not entirely under his breath and I glare at him not that he sees it because his back is to me.

Spinner leaves first since he works 9-6, Paige leaves just after he does and then we ride to school, I ride with Bianca while Adam and Maya ride with Drew. K.C. and Jenna are in the school foyer when we come in. We sit with them and talk about Sean, Emma called them too. We're all going to go see him after school but Drew, K.C. and Owen will have to wait until after football practice. Zig arrives next and then Owen with Tris. As we're all talking Eli arrives and I get up to go talk to him, as soon as I get up I can feel everyone's eyes on me. When I approach Eli they all go back to talking.

"Can we talk for a minute?" I request of Eli.

"Yeah sure," he says motioning for me to follow him. He finds an empty classroom and we go inside.

"I wanted to apologize for Saturday and our date."

"Apologize for what? I had a good time," Eli tells me.

"For cutting it short and asking you to bring me home. I ran out and you deserve to know why. You're a nice guy Eli and I like you but not like that. I was a little intimidated by your house and lifestyle. It's not fair to you for us to even try but I would like to be friends. I actually mean that it's not just a line."

"Sure friends is good, and you still don't have to apologize for the date I had a good time. And honestly I probably need some more time before I get back into dating after Julia," Eli says as the bell rings, "can I walk you to class?"

"Sure," I smile. Eli walks me to class and smiles before he leaves.

"What did you need to talk to Eli about?" Adam questions.

"I told him I wanted to be friends and that was all," I inform my brother and he smiles.

(EMMA)

"So have you given any thought to when you might want to have the wedding?" Paige asks as we set down a couple of boxes in what is now mine and Sean's room. It's Saturday October first and everyone is helping me move into Sean and Fitz's place. I was able to break my lease since I only had a couple months left on it.

"Next fall, we were thinking September 16th which falls on a Saturday next year. It gives us almost a year to plan and it will still be warm but not too hot and muggy. We want something simple but we haven't been able to talk about much else with my schedule. I was hoping you'd be my maid of honor," I tell her.

"Of course I will," Paige smiles.

"Sean wants us to clear out the stuff in his mom's room and take it to the rehab clinic for when she's discharged. A few of us will stay here and help you move the rest of your stuff and the rest of us will pack up Mrs. Fitzgerald's room," Jay comments poking his head into the room.

"Okay sounds good thanks Jay. What's Sean doing?" I question.

Sean was released from the hospital on Wednesday and has been on sick leave from his job since he's supposed to rest. Not to mention that being a mechanic can be hazardous when you have a facial injury. The doctor's wanted to be sure the sutures were closed and things healed fairly well before he got under another car. I've spent every night here with him and moving a little of my stuff in every day. It's been really nice to come home to someone every night after work. Sean is supposed to be taking it pretty easy still, he had to have several bones screwed together and a steel plate fusing together part of his maxilla bone that had pretty much shattered.

"He's sitting on his mom's bed, he'll give us a thumbs up or a thumbs down for what we should pack and what we should trash," Jay replies and I smile.

"There's maybe another car load and a half at your apartment we should go back and pack up get the rest," Paige comments.

"I'm staying with Sean, I think Adam, Maya, Jenna and K.C. want to stay too and everyone else can go back to the apartment with you," Jay remarks.

"Works for me, I'm going to take Sean to see Fitz after this last run so we don't miss visiting hours," I inform Jay and he nods.

The rest of us split up into cars and drive back to my apartment. Everything's already in boxes and we moved all the furniture last night after borrowing a truck. It's just a matter of taking boxes down the stairs one by one, with seven of us it doesn't take too long to get the last of the boxes down. It takes another hour to drive back and unpack the boxes from the cars.

"Thanks for everything guys, Sean and I are going to go see Fitz before visiting hours are over," I tell everyone.

"We'll be back tomorrow," Jay comments.

"Tell Fitz I said hi," Clare says.

"Say hi from all of us," Drew adds.

"We will," I nod.

"I'll lock up," Jay tells us and I smile at him.

Sean drives to TJCS and we go to the main gate. We aren't sure that they'll let me back in since it's not an emergency and I'm not technically family yet.

"Hello Sean," the guard at the gate nods to him, "crap that was a number your mom did on you," the guard comments and then looks at me, "Emma wasn't it?"

"Yeah I was hoping I could visit with Fitz as well," I tell him.

"We're not technically supposed to let you in since you're not family but I think fiancé is close enough to family that it's okay. Most of these guys can barely get one family member to come see them and some don't have any family to come see them. We find that the kids who have the most family support and visitors each week do the best and Fitz has been trying really hard, he's been doing great. Both of you go ahead and I'll make sure Emma is put on the approved visitor list," the guard tells us and I give him a big appreciative smile.

"Thank you," I say as Sean takes my hand and we walk inside.

You have to go through an x-ray and sometimes a pat down before they let you in. There's only five other boys in the room visiting with family. Sean and I sit down at a table and a couple minutes later Fitz comes in. He smiles when he first sees us and then looks shocked at the sight of his brother with half his face bandaged.

"Shit," Fitz exclaims as he sits down.

"It's okay, a few broken bones and a couple of steel plates. The bandages should come off in a couple of days," Sean assures his brother.

"He has a follow up appointment tomorrow and they may approve him to go back to work," I tell Fitz.

"Good, so you're okay otherwise?" Fitz asks

"Yeah the bones will heal," Sean nods.

"He's been on sick leave from the garage and staying home to rest. We moved all of my stuff into the house today, and your mom's stuff is packed up. It will be dropped at the rehab clinic tomorrow for her to take when she gets out."

"I'm glad you'll be there when I get out," Fitz grins.

We stay and talk to Fitz until we're kicked out. We tell Fitz about Clare's date with Eli and how she decided she only wants to be friends with Eli, this is of course news that Fitz likes to hear. I tell him everything Jenna and K.C. have done with Joey and Caitlin in preparing for the birth and adoption. Sean tells him all that's happened with Bianca's mom; we pretty much tell him everything that's happened in the last week. When our time is up we hug Fitz goodbye and go back out to the car.

"Thanks for coming I know it meant a lot to Fitz," Sean says when we're back in the car.

"Fitz means a lot to me too. He's my family and I'm happy to be here for him, now let's get you home and make dinner. Soup again since it's about all you can eat right now," I tell my fiancé and he smiles.

"I love you future wife," he grins leaning over to give me a loving kiss.

Update next Saturday will begin with a different pov and Thanksgiving weekend.