Title: Mel-On-Cholly Joker

Premise: Batman. Joker had killed Batman recently, and after turning Gotham into his and the other criminals' playground, he has become bored, not having his old playmate. Based on Megamind. Some Joker X Harley fluff. Slight OOC.

Joker sat down in his large arm chair in the mayor's office, dressed in his purple polka-dot pajamas . The office was loaded with money and gold bricks and jewels, and all sorts of priceless items, but he barely noticed them anymore. His head was still on the desk, still staring at the bobble head of... some guy in a suit with a white moustache. Who the Hell was this guy again?

Oh well, it didn't matter.

Joker took his index finger and tapped the little man on the head for the ump-teenth time now, making the head bob up and down again.

"Why do you keep nodding at me like that?" Joker asked him. "I bet deep down inside, you don't want to say 'yes'. Maybe you'd rather shake your head and say 'no'." Joker's head leaned in closer to the bobble head.

"You know, I bet that's what your problem is. I bet deep down, you're hiding something; you are holding in some personal thoughts, maybe some sort of... deep pain you're in. And... and you just don't want to show that to anyone. So that's why you keep nodding; to hide that pain and keep it all bottled in. It makes things so much simpler! I know exactly how you feel, my friend. Lately, I've been smiling and laughing a lot, when deep down, I almost wanna cry. ...What sort of pain are you hiding?"

Before the bobble head could "answer", Harley burst into the room through the door, decorated in the fancy necklace and earrings they had stolen. She was holding that long, fancy egyptian scepter too, and holding it like a microphone stand to her mouth.

"'CAUSE PUDDIN' YOU'RE A FIIIII-REWORK!" She sang.

"Hey Hey Hey Hey!" Her lover snapped. "Not now, Harley! I'm having an intriguing conversation with... whoever the Hell this guy is." Groaning, he turned his chair around and looked out the window at Gotham City.

He heard Harley's footsteps as she came closer to the desk.

"Is- Is something wrong, Mr. J?" She asked in a caring tone.

"Just look at it..." Joker sighed. "We have everything... and yet it feels like we have nothing. It's just too easy being the bad guy now. I mean we finally did it Harley, didn't we?"

"Well, I mean you did it puddin'. You were the boss, it was all your plan, ya know?" She still tried to sound optimistic.

"Yeah. Right... And now without him, it's... boring."

"Oh, I see. Ya miss your little play mate, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Hmmm... Well, ya know, we're still fighting gang wars with Penguin and Ra's and Black Mask. You're having fun fighting them for control of the city, ain't ya?"

A smile cracked across Joker's face as he remembered how he made the thugs of these bad guys squirm, but that smile did not stay long.

"Well, yeah. But none of them could ever replace Bats. They're just... not the same as him."

"I think I see what ya mean there," She nodded. "Ya wanna talk more about it at that French place tonight?"

Joker exhaled before answering. "Ya know, Harley, I'm just not in the mode for going out tonight. I need some alone time."

"Ya mean ya don't wanna talk about it anymore?"

"No thanks," he answered, a little bitterness in that last word. He calmed himself before continuing. "You're free tonight."

"You sure you'll be okay if I leave you alone then?" She took a few steps back from the desk.

"Yeah. I'll be fine."

"Well... okay, just remember I'm always around if ya need someone to talk to."

She took out her cellphone and Joker heard her dialing some numbers on it as she started walking out of the room.

"Hey Ivy!" She squeaked cheerfully into the phone. "I was thinking. How about you, me and Kitty meet up at that sub place. Let's just go out tonight, ya know? A girl's night-"

And Joker could not hear much else of what she said. He looked out Gotham Central Park, where he knew somewhere was a statue dedicated to his old playmate. He thought maybe he would pay that statue a visit. He pushed himself out of his chair to get his purple jacket on.