This last week was just crazy at work but thankfully it's done now and I'm back.
Before we get started some DeGrassi Saviors website news~
1) Check the home page for two new features. Three ship polls and part one of a part series of "If DeGrassi Characters Were" lists. The first list is "If DeGrassi Characters Were Other TV Characters"
2) Check out dragonsprits page for announcements, updates and clues for his stories.
3) Head to tomfeltonlover1991's page for a poll to help her decide on a crossover for DeGrassi and 5 Seconds of Summer.
Now onto tonight's chapter!
Ch. 24 Thoughts as Bold as Thoughts can be
(LUCAS)
I stroll around the strip mall once again on this clear Saturday night and wondering how Clare and Drew and doing on their camping trip. Watching the stores and the parking lot and looking for anyone that might potentially cause trouble. Walking around the place and just being present is about ninety percent of my job. Usually knowing there's a security guard on duty is enough to deter would be shoplifters. In the two years I've worked here as a night security guard only a handful of people have attempted to shoplift and run and I've chased them all down. Most of the stores in this strip mall are closed by ten, there's a fast food place and a laundromat that remain open until 2am, and a 24 hour grocery store. My shifts are always 10pm – 5am Sundays – Wednesdays so it's usually pretty quiet and so tonight seems to be, or so I thought.
I'm approaching the laundromat when I see a man standing too close to a girl. It's not just that he's standing so close to her it's the way he's standing, the way her fist is clenched so tight and the fact that he just doesn't look right. I approach cautiously and in the mirrors in the laundromat I see that he's holding her with knife to her throat. She's crying and frantically going through her purse so he must be demanding money. We don't have guns just huge flashlights and a taser so I have to be careful. I go to the door and open it quietly sneaking over but the guy sees me in the hanging mirror. He pushes the girl away and turns to me with the knife in his hand. I hold the flashlight in my hand by the head and swing it at him like a club as he comes at me with the knife. He misses me and I hit him with my flashlight, it doesn't do much other than make him grunt. I kick his leg to knock him down but he falls forward and manages to plunge the knife into my chest! I hear the girl scream and I start wheezing for air but I grip the flashlight tightly and crack him in the back of the head with it. The guy looks at me with a grim smile before his eyes roll to the back of his head and he falls to the ground.
I look at the girl now, she's probably eighteen or nineteen, thin with long wavy black hair similar to Bianca's. With dark eyes and light olive skin she's gorgeous even if she is still a little pale from the fright of the situation. I smile at her but I'm starting to feel dizzy and still wheezing for air. The girl gasps again just as I fall to the floor and everything goes black…
When my eyes open I'm still lying down but I'm on my back in a bed, someone is holding my hand and I hear an incessant beeping. I realize I'm in a hospital, I can feel the tube from the IV taped to my arm and an oxygen tube in my nose. Mom is here she looks relieved but still worried.
"I'm fine," I assure my mom.
"You were stabbed Lucas and then you fell on the knife, you very nearly died you were in surgery for hours with a collapsed lung and internal bleeding," Mom tells me.
"But I lived. Is the girl okay?"
"Yes she's fine thanks to you, you're her hero. She said she would be by later today to see how you were."
"Hey you're alive we thought we lost you," Spin teases walking into my room.
"Can't get rid of me that easily, I'll be back on my feet in a day or two," I reply.
"Yeah not this time buddy you'll be in the hospital a couple days and then resting and the doc said no drinking or heavy partying for a while," Spinner tells me.
"Damn I'll miss Johnny's party."
"Which is on a weeknight at our place you can come and sack out on the sofa but no drinking. I have to go, I'm opening today but I wanted to see how you were," Spinner says. He comes over and hugs me and Mom before he leaves.
"Now that you're awake I'm going to go find a doctor and let Jane know," Mom comments letting go of my hand so she can stand up.
"Mom what did you bug Janie for she didn't need to be worried about me," I shake my head.
"She's your sister Lucas she had to know because they weren't even sure you'd make it through surgery. She was going to try and fly out."
"Well tell her I'm alive and fine and to stay in California, no one has the money for her to fly out and she has school," I assert as my mom leaves my room.
Jane and I were never very close growing up, she wanted nothing to do with me and she was always more into school than I was. I was more interested in having fun and causing trouble which is why I got along so well with Jay and Johnny. I was very proud of my sister when she got into Stanford though. She's been there two years now and she's doing really well, I think she's a lot happier in California. She was never really a part of our group either; she could have been since I'd known Jay for forever but she never wanted to hang out with us.
Before Mom returns to the room a doctor comes in with a nurse. He tells me about my injury and that I'll be in the hospital a couple of days before checking my vitals and such. Mom comes back and I find that I'm very tired even though I just woke up. I put on the TV and fall asleep again after about half an hour and when I wake up Mom is gone but the girl I saved is sitting by my bed.
"Hi I'm Lucas," I grin at her.
"I know your mom told me, I'm Mia Jones. I'm glad you're okay and that you were there to save me," she says kissing my cheek.
"Well it is my job. I don't think I've ever seen you at the laundromat before, or anywhere because I know I'd remember a face as breathtaking as yours," I remark and she giggles blushing just a little.
"I just started at U of T in September and I usually use the machines in the dorm but two of them were broken this week and I was out of clean clothes."
"Look I have to be in here a couple of days but when I'm out how about I take you to dinner?"
Mia smiles softly and kisses my lips gently after she stands up, "Call me next weekend after you've had a few days to heal. I should get going your mom just went down to get some lunch."
"Wait I don't have your number," I call to her before she reaches the door.
"Yes you do it's in the card," she says nodding to the flowers on my bedside table with a card in a yellow envelope sticking out the top.
I grin and she smiles back just before vanishing through the door.
(DREW)
I was awake for quite a while, sitting by the fire and thinking about what Clare had confessed to me. I wake up late and find Clare sitting at the fire pit she actually managed to make a fire and start some coffee.
"I'll make breakfast, we'll hike after breakfast before we drive home," I tell Clare.
"I'll help with breakfast, what do we even have for breakfast?" Clare asks.
"Sausage and potatoes," I tell her going to the cooler.
We make breakfast in silence and eat in silence. I want to ask her about the things she said last night but I leave it be for the moment. After eating we change clothes and I check the hiking route. To be very safe I take extra provisions, emergency kits and leave a note on the car with the date and time we left and when I expect to be back. Then we begin hiking along the trail.
"Ugh how long is this trail? And why is it so much uphill?" Clare whines after we've been hiking about half an hour.
"We need to get you in shape; I'm going to start getting you to train in the weight room or something. Maybe you should go out for a sport," I comment.
"Can you honestly see me playing a sport? I've never been into sports and even if I went out for one puberty made it a little difficult to play any sports," Clare responds.
We hike a little farther until we come to the end of the trail. We come out at a lake and sit down on a rock looking out at the water. There's a few people swimming, boating and fishing but the late fall weekend isn't very busy.
"Clare what you said last night, how long have you felt that way? Like you aren't worth the very best and you aren't going to do anything with your life?" I venture after a few minutes.
"I don't know," she shrugs drawing her knees to her chest. "I just…" she pauses biting her lip and putting her arms around her legs and her chin on her knees. "Mom died giving birth to me and Adam and I never knew her. Dad, Spin and even you have always been there for us and loved us, and been ridiculously overprotective," she comments and I shoot her a look. "But I never knew Mom. I mean I knew her in that I grew in her body but she died when I was born and there's always been this hole I've never quite been able to fill. And knowing that she died giving birth to me I guess I've always felt…like a mistake. Like I shouldn't be here so what's the point?"
"Does Adam feel like this?" I question but as soon as I ask it realize he probably doesn't. Adam has never behaved like Clare, he's never gone looking for trouble, he's never even really been drunk. Knowing this is how Clare feels her behavior for…well her whole life makes more sense now; all the flirting the drinking, finding trouble, getting herself into dangerous situations and with dangerous people.
"I don't know, I don't think so but we've never really talked about it. We don't talk about everything. I'm not sure that he does but it's never been easy for him being born in a girl's body and being a guy."
"Clare we all miss Mom, I barely remember her and the more the years pass the more I wonder if the memories are real or not. As much as we miss her and as unfair as it is that she died it was not your fault Clare you can't blame yourself for her death, we don't. We love you and care about you and you mean the world to us, you have to know that you are everything to us. That's why we protect you so much and why no guy is truly worthy of you. I'm sorry that we failed you so horribly that you could think you're nothing."
"It's not you or Spin or Dad or Adam, you didn't fail me it's just how I feel."
"But we have, if that's how you feel then we have," I insist and Clare bites her lip and looks away.
"We should head back we still have to drive home and we have school tomorrow," she comments after a moment.
"Clare look at me and tell me you know you're w…"
"Drew I don't want to talk about it anymore," she snaps at me standing up quickly, "I'm going back to the campsite."
She starts walking down the trail and I follow her. We don't talk at all on the hike back to the camp site, we don't talk while packing or for the first twenty minutes of the drive. Finally the silence becomes too much and I have to break it but I'm not stupid enough to venture to same topic again.
"So what are you going to be for Halloween?"
"I'm not sure, I suppose if I'm going to a Halloween party with Fitz I should talk to him. I don't really want a couples costume though but something that complemented his costume would be good," Clare replies.
"I've never seen Fitz dress up for Halloween so it can't be hard to complement his clothes," I comment.
"Then I'll get him to dress up, or we could just stay in while the rest of you are at the party," Clare responds with a grin.
We spend the rest of the drive making small talk, talking about Johnny's party in a couple of days, school, Jenna and K.C.'s baby, when we think Spin and Paige will get married and other such things. We stop to eat and arrive home just after seven. I open the garage and put away the camping stuff in the garage and then we grab our bags and go inside.
"How was camping?" Spinner asks.
"Fine," Clare replies with a slight huff. "I'm going to invite Fitz over and take a shower," she says.
"Uhhh are you planning to shower with Fitz?" Spinner questions.
"No I'm going to ask him to come over and then get in a shower while he's on his way. If I was going to shower with Fitz I wouldn't do it with you all here," Clare replies. I wonder when Spin's going to find out she's not a virgin anymore?
"Before you shower I have to tell you that Lucas was hurt on the job," Spinner informs us.
"Is he okay?" Clare queries with worry in her voice and her eyes are dark with the thought of losing someone else she cares about.
"He was stabbed and when he passed out he fell on the knife. He had surgery for a punctured lung and internal bleeding. He's alive and he'll be okay after a couple days in the hospital and some rest. He'll probably come to Johnny's party but he'll be on the sofa the whole time and won't be able to drink," Spin says.
"At least he'll be okay," I comment and Clare nods in agreement. She hugs Spinner and vanishes down the hall.
"So how was camping?" Spinner asks.
"Enlightening," I respond.
"Learn some things about our baby sister?"
"Yeah got a whole new perspective on her I wish I'd known sooner. Her behavior and her decisions make a lot more sense now it's also very scary knowing how she thinks," I reply.
"Care to share?" Spinner prompts.
"Yes but not tonight I need to shower after Clare and I'm going to go say hi to Bianca. Just uh make sure that Clare knows how much you love her and how much we care," I tell Spinner before going back to my room which I share with my girlfriend and find my beautiful girlfriend on our bed.
"Hi how was camping?" She grins kissing me passionately before I can answer.
"Enlightening. When Clare gets out of the shower I'm going to get in and then I'm coming back and kiss every inch of your body," I smile.
(CLARE)
I get out of the shower and walk across to my room wrapped in a towel. I get my pajamas on and there's a knock on my door, I know it's Adam so I call to come in. He hugs me and asks how the camping trip was. I tell him it was fine and tell him Fitz is on his way over to spend the night and come to school with us tomorrow. Adam says Maya is sleeping over and asks if I heard about Lucas and I nod. When we hear the front door open he knows Fitz is here and Adam hugs me goodnight.
"Hey how was the trip?" Fitz asks.
"Fine I guess, I'd rather have been here," I respond closing my door before kissing him.
"Didn't like camping or spending time with Drew?"
"Wasn't fond of camping or the hiking but spending time alone with Drew was okay I guess. He forced me to hike up hill though and then decided I was out of shape. I still think camping was some form of punishment."
"Well it's done now and you're home and you still had a better weekend than Lucas," Fitz remarks.
"Yeah I heard about that at least he's okay. Have you seen him?"
"Sean, Em and I went to the hospital earlier he's fine. He insists that he could go back to work tomorrow and everyone is worrying too much. He saved a girl who was getting held up and he has her number now, according to Lucas she's the most beautiful girl he's ever seen," Fitz says and I smile.
"So what are we wearing to Jay's Halloween party?" I ask Fitz as I pull him to sit on my bed with me.
"Why you thinking I'm going to wear a couples costume just 'cause we got a date next weekend?"
"No I don't want to wear a couples costume but I figured we were going together so our costumes should complement each other. And you are dressing up, you can't just go in your clothes and say it is your costume," I assert and Fitz grins just as my phone rings. I grab it from my nightstand and bite my lip when I see the caller ID. "It's Jeff," I tell Fitz.
"Should I leave so you can talk?"
"No you should stay I haven't yet told Jeff about our date and before Thanksgiving we were writing every day but I haven't really talked to him since Thanksgiving," I say and answer the phone, "Hi Jeff."
"Hey Pretty Eyes," he says and I hear the grin on his lips, "haven't heard from you in a while."
"I know it's been a little crazy here. I was forced to camp with Drew this weekend, Lucas got stabbed at work."
"Is he okay?" Jeff asks.
"Yeah he'll be fine. I also have a date with Fitz this coming weekend," I inform Jeff.
"Oh, I guess I kind of figured that would happen since he was back. Does he know about us?"
"Yeah he knows everything and he's here with me. It's just one date but it could lead to more. I just thought you should know."
"Does this mean we can't talk anymore?" Jeff asks.
"No it doesn't we can still talk, as often as we'd like."
"Good," Jeff says and I hear his smile, "I guess since Fitz is there with you I'll let you go. You'll tell me if he actually becomes your boyfriend. And if course next time I'm up there I can't promise not to be competition for him."
"I would expect nothing less. I'll talk to you later goodnight Jeff."
"Goodnight Pretty Eyes," he replies and hangs up.
"So what did Jeff say?" Fitz asks when I set my phone down.
"Just wanted to know if we could still talk since you and I had a date. He wanted me to tell him if you became my boyfriend and said he would be competition next time he was up," I reply.
"I'm okay with competition," Fitz grins.
"I'm going to get something to eat, Drew and I stopped on the road but that was a few hours ago. Do you want anything?"
Fitz says no but he still comes with me to the kitchen. I eat in the living room and watch TV with Fitz. Paige comes out to get some water and hugs us both. Fitz and I stay in the living room watching TV for a while before we go to bed. I'm already in pajamas and Fitz brushes his teeth before stripping down to his boxers and getting in the bed with me. I was up rather early and after hiking and the drive it's been a long day and I fall asleep. After an odd and disturbing dream I wake up with a gasp. Fitz is still asleep and I don't want to bother him so I get up and go out to the living room. Everyone that doesn't live here and is sleeping over tonight is sleeping in someone's room so no one is in the living room. I sit on the sofa and just stare into the dark living room as a trillion thoughts race around in my head.
"What's wrong?" Adam yawns coming to sit with me.
"Do you ever think about Mom?"
"Sure all the time, I see her picture around the house and wonder how it would be if she was here with us. I miss her, we all do. Did you have a dream about Mom?"
"Sort of. We never knew her and there's this emptiness, this hole inside."
"I know," Adam says putting his arm around me, "Mom loves us. Where ever she is, she and Dad they love us still."
I put my head on Adam's shoulder and we sit like that for a short time but then we hear two doors opening. Fitz and Maya both walk sleepily into the living room.
"Are you okay?" Fitz asks with a big yawn.
"What's going on? The bed is cold without you," Maya complains.
"I'm fine, I woke up from a dream and I didn't want to disturb you. I'm okay let's all go back to bed," I insist getting up and going to Fitz. I take his hand and we go back to my room while Adam and Maya go back to his room.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Fitz asks.
"Yeah I'm fine it was just a dream it wasn't even scary. However I'm not very tired now," I reply pulling him to the bed and I sit on his lap attaching my lips to his.
Fitz grins into the kiss and his arms come around me. After a moment I push him back on the bed. My fingers caress down his abs and I feel his muscles tighten with anticipation under my fingertips. I get my nails under the waistband of his boxers and he releases a breath into the kiss and then grabs my hand.
"Clare stop."
"Why?"
"Because you don't want to do this."
"How do you know what I want?"
"Because I know you Clare, I've known you pretty much my whole life, I know you better than you think. You had a dream that woke you up so it might not have been scary but it was disturbing to you in some way. You're not tired but you're emotional and you think doing something sexual will make you feel better but it won't. It will make you forget how you feel for a moment and then you'll probably feel worse after and I'm not going to do anything to make you feel bad. And it's not that I don't want to or I don't find you attractive or sexy because I do and you know I do. But I'm not Reese or Owen or any other guy that would listen to you say you're okay and believe it because I know you better than that and I know you're not."
"If you're this insightful with me why don't you do better in school?" I huff as I sit up.
"Because I like you and I care about you and I don't care about school."
"Don't you ever think about your future?"
"Wasn't sure I'd live to this age honestly so I've never put much thought into the future. Anyway I've never been good at school and I'll probably work at the garage with Sean and Jay."
"Yeah. I'm not going to get back to sleep I'm going back out and watch TV are you coming?"
Fitz gets off the bed and follows me out to the living room and I turn the TV on keeping the volume low. I cuddle up to Fitz and he puts his arm around me, we both eventually fall asleep and wake up when Spinner gets up since he's opening today.
"Bad night?" Spinner questions.
"Sort of, I'm going to get ready for school," I yawn getting off the sofa.
"Why don't you come to The Dot I'll get you both breakfast," Spinner offers.
"You're not going to tell me I have to go camping again this weekend are you because Mark and I have a date," I inform Spinner.
"Just go get ready," Spinner responds.
I pull Fitz's hand and we got back to my room to dress for school. His bruises have healed more they're just a pale yellow now.
"You know you keep calling me Mark," Fitz comments as we get dressed.
"I like calling you Mark," I smile and kiss him before I go out to the washroom.
We get ready and go with Spinner to The Dot in his car since we can come home with Bianca. Spinner starts the coffee and Fitz and I pick out fresh pastries that the kitchen staff just made.
"I'm off at one but I have to pick up some stuff for Johnny's party tomorrow. I should be home by the time you get home from school though," Spinner tells us.
"Did you get Johnny's present?" I question.
"Yeah Paige and Adam picked it up this weekend."
Fitz and I finish breakfast and walk to school. Eli's already here working with Imogen on his play. Fitz and I sit in the memorial garden waiting for the others to get there while we talk about what to be for Halloween. He's still resistant to dressing up but I'll get him to.
Look I didn't end on a cliffhanger! The update next Saturday will begin with Johnny's party and include Clare and Fitz's date. And we might possibly get Halloween next chapter…maybe.