Princess Peach entered Hyrule castle with pink bags in her hand. "Hello Zelda." "Hello Peach. Good to see you." "Good to see you too. And I just want to say that I don't care about becoming Princess of Hyrule. I'm already princess of the Mushroom Kingdom. Ruling two kingdoms would be such a workload. Also, I'm not from Hyrule and it's out of my jurisdiction. However, I don't think I can say the same about the other girls."
"What do you mean?" "You know how competitive they can get. We're the only two sensible ones out of all them. They will be at each other's throats." "Nonsense, Peach. Sure, Samus can get riled up pretty easily. But we're all friends." "That may be true. But when you put a prize like ruling a kingdom on the line, the lengths someone will go to reach that are high. Speaking of which, why are selling off your position? I thought there was already a successor in place." "I did it for the publicity."
"Why Zelda? You are already royalty." "Actually I was forced into doing it. I had no other choice." "By who?" "By-" Zelda was cut off as Samus entered the castle hall. "Hello Zelda. Hey Peach." "Hello Samus." said Zelda. "Hey Samus." said Peach. "So princess, how does it feel to leave the position and one of us be your successor?" "Well it's certainly unorthodox but you're all my friends so I have no qualms about any of you taking my position. I'm sure you will do fine. Of course, since none of you are from this country, I would have to teach you the traditions, history and economy. Of course you would also need to learn the Hylian language."
"I'm only doing this because I want to be with my friends. I could care less about becoming a princess." said Samus. "That's so considerate of you Samus!" Peach gave her a hug. "Of course. The money doesn't matter."
Samus: That blonde klutz doesn't know that I am in it to win it and will do anything I can to become princess of Hyrule. I just have to keep up an innocent appearance so that they don't suspect anything.
Daisy made her entrance into the hall. "The Princess of Sarasaland is here!" Daisy strutted down the hall to meet the other three. "Hello Daisy." said Peach. "Hey Peach! Hey Zelda! Oh and if it isn't...Samus." Samus raised an eyebrow and glared at her.
Daisy: So a few months back Samus offered to wash my clothes. A little weird but I accepted. I come back to find that my clothes have fuzz balls all over them! It's apparently because she didn't know that the dryer has a lint compartment. Granted she hasn't been on earth for more than 12 years but I still have a grudge against her. Don't even get me started on the first time she discovered alcohol. She got drunk out of her mind, threw up in the toilet and flashed everyone. She even tried to kiss me! Not that I didn't want it...But that's besides the point! We don't get along very well.
"Is there a problem?" Zelda intervened. "No. Not at all. It's all in the past." said Samus. "I hope so." said Zelda. "Anyway, I can't wait to take your spot Zelda. Hyrule needs a new princess!" "Excuse me?" "I mean look at the place. It's in need of some major upgrades. Get rid of the Council of Hyrule. It's all full of saggy old men. Get a water filtration system. People are getting infected. Have a new-" "Alright. I see your point." "Tea anyone?" said Peach. Before anyone could respond, Lucina and Robin came in. Robin was on her phone.
"I want you to be more open. We should go out more. It would be really good for us. What? We're together now so you have to be willing to. Unless...Okay it's a date." "Princess Peach! Zelda! Daisy! Samus! Hey everyone." "Hello Lucina." "Hi Lucina." "Zelda, it is an honor to meet you." "Oh you don't have to say that. We're friends." "Well yes but I think it is proper, unlike my friend." She nodded toward Robin.
"Sorry about that everyone. I was on the phone with Marth." "Oh. Are you two together now?" said Daisy. "Yes we are. We started dating two weeks ago." "Oh young love. I remember when I was first with Link. It was magical." said Zelda. "Haven't you been courting Link for the longest time?" Everyone became silent.
Zelda: What a rude child!
"Okay Robin I think we'll probably be sharing a room together." said Lucina, trying to change the subject. "We'll get to living arrangements later." said Zelda. "I hope I don't have to share a room with you." Daisy said quietly to Samus. "Same here. But that was in the past you know." "I still have a grudge against you. Nothing can change that."
Samus: I really am sorry for what I did to Daisy. I was a different person back then. I just want us to be friends. I do have a plan in mind but it's risky. I should talk to Peach.
"Who are we missing?" said Peach. "Well we're still missing Palutena, Bayonetta, and Rosalina." said Zelda. "Rosalina's coming? Yes! Yes!" Daisy jumped up and down while everyone else stared in confusion. She stopped after she realized what was happening. "Of course, I'm finally excited to see my BFF. Yeah."
Lucina: Something is up with Daisy. I can tell. The way she got excited about Rosalina is odd. Why would someone get so excited over one person. Unless...no that can't be it.
Palutena made her grand entrance. She came down from the sky, lights illuminating her while a harp played in the background. Everyone stared in awe. Samus simply stared with her arms crossed.
Samus: I don't get all the hype surrounding Palutena. That may have to do with the fact that I don't believe in God but she is praised like no other person. And no I am not jealous. It's just that...It's nothing! Nothing at all.
At first she was standoffish but soon Samus started staring as well. She blushed and turned a bright pink. "What am I doing?" she said to herself. However, Samus could deny her feelings no longer. She truly loved Palutena. She loved women. In addition, she would be staying in a castle full of women. If she didn't express her love soon, it would come out one way or another.
Palutena landed on the ground gracefully. "Hello everyone." "Lady Palutena. It is an honor for you to come here." Zelda bowed. "Thank you Zelda. You have done an excellent job at running your kingdom." "Thank you Palutena." "Although I was hesitant to join this program, as soon as I found out my acquaintances would be here, I was eager to arrive." Palutena noticed Samus away from the others.
"Samus." Palutena said. She was instantly put on the spotlight. "Yes Lady Palutena?" "How are you today?" "I'm fine. Thank you for asking." "I notice that you are standing away from your comrades." "Well unlike the rest of them I'm not a princess. So I don't exactly fit in." "That is no excuse for staying away from your friends. You have been through good times and bad with this crowd. Have you not?" Samus paused. She knew exactly what kind of game Palutena was playing. She couldn't lie, however. It would make her look idiotic. So she just went along with it.
"Yes. Yes I have." "Good. All that I ask of you Samus is that you be more open. Don't hide away all the time." "I understand." Peach came up to Samus and said "Well Palutena, Samus isn't the most outgoing of our team. But I don't know what we would be without her. She is a valuable asset to our team. Samus, you mean more to us than you realize." Samus was just ready to give in and confess her love. Hell, Peach was practically begging for it. However, Samus put on her stern face and refused to give in. 'No, not yet.' she thought. It would have to be during a more intimate moment with less people.
"You mean I saved you more times than you've realized. Who was the one that stopped Ganandorf from taking over Hyrule? Who was the one who made peace during our civil war? Who was the one that stopped Galleem, a cosmic entity from space hellbent on destroying our world?" No one dared to respond. Not while this woman was talking. "That's right."
"Samus this isn't what I meant when I said to be more open." said Palutena. "That's the problem with you superpowered beings. You all think you're high and mighty. Until a person who was raised by Chozos and trained in the art of combat is able to stop you." "Samus I-" Palutena was interrupted mid sentence. "If you'll need me I'll be somewhere else." Samus stormed off.
What is it with powers and narcissism? Why do they feel the need to rule over the less powerful. On the one hand, Samus could understand it. She had powers and definitely felt a sense of pride. But she wasn't as powerful as Palutena or Zelda. She wondered if Daisy felt the same way, with her having no significant powers to speak of and living in Peach's shadow. Samus went downstairs into a small room with a bed, desk, lamp and fan. The walls were a velvet red and the roof. It reminded her of a dorm she used to live in while in college but with a higher budget. This was the princess' castle after all. The hallways stretched for miles and the windows were huge. Samus felt the urge to explore but she felt that it wasn't the right thing because this wasn't her house. It felt rude. So she stayed in her room contemplating the confrontation she just had with Palutena.
She felt bad for talking back to her and storming off. Palutena simply told her to be more open because she is always closed off. Samus affirmed Palutena's point by her actions. "Ugh." she laid down on the bed. Palutena didn't deserve that. She would apologize later. Samus' thoughts went elsewhere and she found herself thinking about Peach. She lusted for her and her touch. Samus wanted Peach more than anything else. She also loved Palutena and Zelda. However, a goddess would be too far out of her league so she settled on Zelda. 'Hold up.' Samus thought. 'These are my friends. What is wrong with me?' The feelings were too strong. She couldn't help herself. Today was the day. She would admit her love to these two beautiful women.
Rosalina entered the castle hall. She did not have Luma. "Rosalina!" said Daisy. "Hello everyone. And hello to you Daisy."
Daisy: OMG! She actually knows me! And the only games we've been in together are those crossover sports titles!
"Rosalina, so good to see you." said Zelda. "Same to you said Rosalina." "Rosalina. How does it feel to be the overseer of the cosmos? That must be such a daunting task." said Robin. "Well it certainly is. But I have mystical powers handed down to me that allow me to perform my task with ease."
Robin: Mystical powers, huh? I want to see if Rosalina can give me some of her power. Not a lot. Just a little. I have magic powers of my own.
"Rosalina. Such an honor to meet you. I have heard much about you." said Lucina. "Why thank you, Lucina." she replied. "How have you and your Fire Emblem friends been doing?" "We're doing well. Marth and Ike are off on military duty while Roy is training to become an architect." "Good for him." said Rosalina. "Rosalina." said Palutena. "Lady Palutena," said Roslaina bowing. "How are you on this fine day? "I'm swell. You don't have to be so formal. We know each other well enough." "Yes I know. But it's respectful to do so."
Bayonetta appeared in the room instead of coming through the door. "Bayonetta! Why that's an unorthodox way to enter." said Zelda. "I know but I needed to make my entrance unique." "If that was your goal then you certainly succeeded" said Peach. "I always know how to make the crowd go wild." said Bayonetta.
Peach: Was there a second meaning to that?
"Bayonetta we are glad to have you here." said Zelda. Palutena looked at Bayonetta, disgusted.
Palutena: She embodies everything wrong with this world. She is a witch, an angel hunter! She even scared my baby Pit. The poor boy.
Flashback
Pit was running through the Smash Mansion while Bayonetta chased him. He hid behind Palutena. "Palutena help me! Bayonetta's chasing me!" "What! Bayonetta what's going on!" "What? We were just playing a game." "Well I think that's enough." "Alright then. We're done for now Pit." The lady in leather walked away. "Pit are you okay? Did she hurt you? My little angel!" She smothered Pit and took his face in her chest. "Palutena I'm not - This is a bit much." He tried backing away until he realized her luscious breasts were in his face, full frontal. "Uh nevermind. This is actually good. Ahh…"
End Flashback
Palutena: I will never forgive her.
"Miss Bayonetta? The famed angel hunter?" said Lucina, sparkles in her eyes. "That's me." "You are so awesome. Can I get your autograph?" Lucina handed her a notepad and pen. "Sure sweetheart. Here you go." Bayonetta signed the pen and handed back the pad to her. "Eek! I actually got a celebrity's autograph!"
Robin: I don't get Lucina and her excitement towards Bayonetta. Sure she's cool and all, and I'm not insulting her, but Lucina's on a whole other level. Also there are other celebrities in the castle. Princess Zelda, Peach, Rosalina! Heck, even Samus. I hope none of them see this.
"Okay Bayonetta, you're the last contestant so now we can get started." said Zelda. "Great." The lights went out and the curtains covered the windows. "What's happening?" said Lucina. "Welcome everyone to Princess Wars! I'm your host Meta Knight. The women of Super Smash Bros will be competing to become the next Princess of Hyrule!" "Meta Knight?" said Rosalina. "I didn't know he was going to be the host." "Wait Meta Knight! Samus isn't here!" said Peach. However her voice could not be heard over the speaker Meta Knight was using to amplify his voice and the music. "I have to go find her." she said. Peach ran in search of Samus.
"Our contestants everyone!" The camera panned to each girl as their name was called. "Zelda! Daisy! Rosalina! Palutena! Bayonetta! Lucina! Robin! Samus!" A record scratch sound effect was heard and the camera was turned off. The lights were turned back on. "Okay hold up, hold up! Where is Samus and Peach?" said Meta. "The real question is why are you hosting a TV show starring a bunch of women in your free time?" said Robin. "I decided I needed to branch out more." "Right." said Daisy.
"Meta Knight. I didn't know you were a host 're the type to keep to yourself." said Bayonetta. "Well yes I am. But I want to be more outgoing so that's why I'm doing this. Plus I've always wanted to be a host. It's been a dream of mine ever since I was young."
Zelda: Meta Knight is certainly...something else.
"Now where is Peach and Samus! They are on the show! They're supposed to be here!" said Meta Knight. "Calm down Meta. We'll find them." said Daisy. "Please do so. And quickly! The show can't go on without them." All of the girls left the hall to go find Peach and Samus while Lucina and Robin stayed. "We should explore this castle. Who knows what secrets lay inside?" said Robin. "Robin I don't think we should do that." "Come on! It'll be fun!" Robin left the room running. "Robin wait! Hold up!" Lucina chased after Robin while the rest of the girls searched for the two missing blondes.
Peach walked across the hallway searching for Samus. "Samus? Sammy? Samus? Where are you?" she peeked in every room until she saw a blonde woman with a ponytail in a spandex blue suit. "Samus?" She had found her. Samus' heart was pounding. She was preparing herself for this moment. In a cold sweat and fever high, Samus stood up. "Hello Peach." "Samus? Why are you all alone?" She bit her lip and held her hands. She fought through war. Lived in the deepest parts of space. Why was she nervous now? "Well Peach," Samus closed the door. "I-I" "What is it? "I like you!" Samus blurted out.
Outside the castle, a girl with orange hair and a black outline around her eyes shapeshifted into a squid and slid up the wall. When she came in, she shifted back to her human form. She quickly looked around to make sure no one was there and turned back into a squid. She traveled up the ceiling to continue her investigative work.