There may not be a chapter next week please see the note at the bottom.
Ch. 34 Making Shadows through the Snow
(JAY)
"So how are the wedding plans coming?" I ask Spin while I take my morning ART pill. He's been here since seven which is when Sean left to go to work.
"Pretty good we've got the flowers covered and the girls are going to decorate. The Dot is going to do food, nothing fancy but we're not exactly the fanciest people. Paige was able to get a hold of Dylan and her parents and they're all coming for Christmas so they'll be at the wedding, and Dylan is bringing Marco. We're going to go taste cakes this weekend. We'll have music on the stereo system for the most part but Adam, Maya and Drew will play for the first song Paige and I dance to. We were actually hoping you'd officiate, you can get credited online and we'd love for you to do it."
"I'd be honored to marry to you guys," I grin.
"Good, Paige will be happy. The last thing we need to figure out is how to get it all to work in our living room. We'll be okay for the ceremony portion since there will be seven of us standing, and roughly fifteen sitting, it will be a little tight but we can make it work. The trouble is how to give everyone room to eat and dance. The only alternative is to rent a tent and heaters but that's expensive."
"I'm sure we can get it figured out," I comment before moving down and closing my eyes.
"You alright?" Spinner asks.
"Yeah just a headache and feeling kind of nauseous it's just side effects from the meds. If they get any worse than they have been I'm supposed to go back to the doctor for a new combo of meds. I've only been on eavirenz, tenofovir and emtricitabine for less than a week and the side effects have been getting progressively worse."
"Sounds like we need to take you back to the doctor."
"Not yet they might get better, anyway it's just headache and nausea right now. And sometimes pain, and always fatigue."
"Sounds pretty bad to me but if you are still feeling them by Saturday like this or worse then we're taking you to the doctor Monday," Spinner insists.
"I'll be aright just need to lie down for a bit. Distract me, tell me about your family they're always entertaining," I comment.
"Not sure if that's a compliment or an insult but okay who do you want to hear about first?"
"It's a compliment. You and Paige, are you guys going to do any sort of honeymoon? Sounds like the wedding plans are pretty in control."
"We were talking about it but probably won't do anything until after the twin's birthday in February. It will give us time to save for a few days away, we'll probably go during the week and not many people travel in February. Not even sure what Clare and Adam want to do for their birthday but I know Clare wants us there. I think we'll start talking about a possible honeymoon after the wedding."
"Good idea. How are Drew and Bianca doing?"
"Bianca's happy just living with us. She's been doing so much better at our house and she stays out of trouble, helps Drew with his homework and helps out around the house. She keeps my brother happy and that's what matters to me. Drew's been good, his grades stay at a steady C except for a few subjects so he definitely takes after me. He likes his job though and he makes pretty good money. They are just crazy about each other; it wouldn't surprise me at all if they got married right after graduation. I used to worry about Drew making it after high school you know. I mean there was always the chance he'd get through to college on athletic ability alone but even if he did and he got drafted he could get injured and even if he never was a pro career can only last so long. I'm not worried about him anymore though, whatever he does or becomes and where ever he goes I'm sure Bianca will be with him and they will take care of each other."
"Adam and Maya? How long you think before she moves in?"
"I don't know; she practically lives there already but unlike B or even Fitz she hasn't really brought much of her stuff. She has a toothbrush there but uses Clare and Bianca's shampoo and stuff. She brings a set of clothes or two and then has Jenna bring her new clothes to school. I know they care about each other and their relationship is pretty strong but there are times I worry about them. I don't think they will ever be as strong as Drew and Bianca or me and Paige or Sean and Em. Maya is great and they are good together but I worry sometimes that he's with her almost as a shield, if he's with Maya then he has a girlfriend and no one questions that he's a guy or bugs him and he doesn't have to explain himself to a new girl. I know that he cares about Maya and they are sweet together but I don't want him to stay with her because he's scared. And if she ever breaks up with him Adam will be devastated. He's pretty even-keeled and probably has the best head on his shoulders of all of us but let's not forget he's related to me, Drew and Clare and we've all been known to do some spontaneous things when we were upset."
"Yeah no kidding, and Clare? You generally worry about her the most, still worried now that she and Fitz are official? Has he moved in yet?"
"He had kind of moved in already, he has a drawer in her room and toiletries in her washroom. And yeah I'll probably always worry about Clare more than my other two sibs but Fitz is good with her, he always has been. Almost as good with her as Adam. He keeps her out of trouble or at least keeps her from going too far and I know that he loves her. I wish all that would keep me fr…"
Spin stops talking when I leap up from the sofa and run to the washroom to vomit. I do it a few times and then get up and Spin hands me some water.
"Thanks," I reply taking the glass.
"Is that from the meds as well?"
"Yeah," I nod sitting back on the sofa.
"What about this?" Spin questions pulling down the neck of my t-shirt revealing a rash on my shoulder.
"Hadn't noticed it before but yeah that's one of the side effects they tell you to be aware of," I nod.
"I'm calling your specialist, we need to get these changed or at least you need to be seen," Spinner tells me. I feel lousy so I just and lie down on the sofa. Spinner is gone a few minutes but I can hear him talking in the bedroom. "Alright they said your meds probably need to be changed and they want you to come in because of the rash and vomiting."
I groan but get up and go with Spinner to his car and he drives me to my doctor. I'm being squeezed in between appointments so it takes almost an hour before I'm seen. I also throw up a couple of times in the doctor's office and the doctor decides my meds need to be changed so she gives me a new prescription for another combo pill, she says there are four that have been approved I can try. If I keep having persistent bad side effects and we go through all four combos I'll have to start on different medications which means more than two pills a day.
We leave the doctor's office and Spin stops at the pharmacy to get my subscription. He runs in to get it and then gets back in the car handing it to me. I pull out the bottle and all the instructions and warnings.
"Now I'm taking, ritonavir-boosted atazanavir, tenofovir and emtricitabine. I hope these are better than the last ones."
"When we get home I think we should look into some of those alternative treatments your doctor was talking about," Spinner comments.
"Man I don't know how to get a massage and I've already been poked with a bunch of needles I don't want acupuncture."
"You'd probably like massage but there's also supplements and mediation and I'm sure other therapies. We should still look into them and you should try them. You'll never know if they can be helpful if you don't try them."
"Okay fine we'll look into them and I'll try almost anything once."
(SEAN)
"Happy Birthday Fiancé," Emma grins waking me up with a kiss.
"Thank you," I grin sitting up as she hands me a tray with breakfast, "lucky me breakfast in bed."
"I have to run to school but I'll see you at Jay's tonight for your party and we'll celebrate tonight since Spin and Paige are sleeping at Jay's and Fitz is staying at Clare's."
"Ooh sexy celebration, can't wait," I grin kissing Emma again and she smiles before she leaves.
Normally she works Tuesday nights at the pharmacy but she traded shifts to get my birthday night off. I actually do work today and have to be there pretty soon but I have enough time to eat. Jay will be off medical leave and returning to work in a week. Not sure he's totally ready to return to work but he doesn't have much choice.
I eat my breakfast in bed before getting ready and leaving for work. Everyone says happy birthday and it's a fairly slow day. I'm off at five and I go home to shower and change before going to Jay's for the party. It was actually his idea to have the party at his place, after all it will only be a few people but if he starts feeling ill then he's already home.
"Happy Birthday Buddy," Jay grins hugging me when I go in.
"Thanks, how you feeling today?"
"Not too bad, this new combo still has side effects but they haven't been as intense. I've been on this new one a little longer than the last one and still feeling pretty good, and the massage and supplements help. I thought I'd hate massage but having a hot massage therapist helps. At least I don't get sick so much now if I could just stop feeling like I'm going to die everything would be great," Jay says and I notice Clare in the kitchen watching us. She's got a look in her eye, I can't quite place it but she doesn't like what we're saying.
"You'll out live us all just watch," I reply walking past him and over to Clare.
"Happy Birthday," she smiles hugging me tight and snapping out of whatever thoughts were in her head.
"Thanks," I smile.
"Happy Birthday Bro," Fitz grins hugging me after Clare.
Emma comes over to kiss me and then Adam, Maya, Spin, Paige, Bianca, Drew, Johnny, Owen, Lucas and Mia all say Happy Birthday. That's everyone who will be here, Tris is out with his boyfriends but I'm not really close to Tris anyway. K.C. and Jenna have a birthing class tonight and dinner with Joey and Caitlin after but they already wished me a happy birthday. We talk and eat and I have a great time but at one point after cake the conversation turns to Zig and we're all sad for a few minutes. But then they give me my presents and we're all happier again.
"Everyone's welcome to hang out as long as they like but I'm going lie down. Not feeling so hot," Jay tells us after I open my presents.
"Thanks for hosting, let us know if you need anything," I tell him and hug him before he goes back to his room.
"You know it is a school night and work night and we should all be getting home. Let's clean up and let Jay rest," Emma says.
"Yeah good idea," I nod.
Everyone helps clean up and get the food away and get my presents to the car. Spin and Paige are sleeping here but most of the rest us go in to say goodnight to Jay. We all say goodnight to Spin and Paige and everyone leaves.
"Did you have good birthday?" Emma asks when we get home.
"Yes I did," I grin.
"It's not over yet I have one more present for you. Why don't you go get comfortable in the bed," Emma tells me.
I grin with carnal anticipation and go to our bedroom. I get naked and light a few candles before turning out the lights. Then I get comfortable on the bed and when Em appears in the doorway my mouth drops and I get hard just at the sight of her. My already gorgeous and sexy fiancé is wearing a salacious smile and very sexy red lace negligée.
"Yum get over here so I can unwrap my last present."
Emma giggles and saunters over to bed. She crawls onto it and I take her by the waist, setting her on my lap and taking her lips with mine. My lips part and my tongue slides out licking over her bottom lip. As our tongues tangle and fight for my dominance I open the negligee and caress her skin gently squeezing her breasts. Emma moans and begins stroking me, I'm already hard and when I'm fully erect she moves up and lowers herself onto me. We both moan into the kiss and Emma begins moving slowly along me. She climaxes first and then I lie her on her back making love to her until we both reach orgasm.
"You know now that my mom's not an issue and my brother is doing better we should think about kids," I comment.
"You think maybe we can be married first?" Emma laughs.
"Hey life is short do we really want to wait until after the summer for kids?"
"Actually I'd like to wait until after I'm out of school. We'll have a family of our own, a great one but we should wait until I'm out of school. Fitz will be out of school around the same time, he's been doing great but that doesn't mean he wants to be a live-in uncle. Besides we'll need a room for the baby."
"That shouldn't be a problem Fitz'll probably move into the Mason's in a month or two."
"Yeah maybe but there's no telling if Fitz and Clare will stay together."
(FITZ)
"Don't go to my house," Clare tells me after we leave Jay's apartment where we had my brother's birthday.
"I don't think we want to go to my house tonight pretty sure Sean and Emma are going to be having sex about twenty seconds after they get through the door."
"No let's go out and do something," she says.
"You know it's a school night," I remind her.
"Spin is sleeping at Jay's and so is Paige."
"Yeah but there's still two of your brothers expecting us at your house."
"They know I'm with you and they trust you with my life. Turn here let's go do something," Clare asserts grabbing the wheel and turning the car.
"Fuck don't do that we could have crashed," I scold her as I correct the car.
"We didn't crash," she just shrugs and I give her a look.
"Okay where are we going?"
"I don't know let's go do something, hiking or sky diving, something exciting."
"I don't think you can sky jump at night or that any place is open. And I don't think hiking at night is a good idea. How about a movie?"
"Boring," she shakes her head. "Stop here," she commands when we reach the park.
I stop the car and we get out, Clare grabs my hand and we go running through the snow. Then all of a sudden she stops and tackles me, I fall back into the snow and she tackles my lips with hers. She nips at my lower lip and my mouth opens, her tongue glides in and she starts to undo my belt. Her leg moves up gently nudging the bulge in my pants and I moan before breaking the kiss.
"Clare we're in public and it's freezing out here," I comment.
"No one is out here because it's freezing and this will warm us up," she replies with a lascivious and mischievous grin.
Before I can reply her lips mash to mine again, this is probably a bad idea but she is right no one is out here. Clare gets my belt off and opens my jeans, with some help from me she gets my jeans and boxers down enough that my erection springs free. Clare deepens the kiss and takes my stiff length in her hand and begins slowly stroking up and down and twisting her hand. I moan and tremble, all other thoughts leave my brain and I begin opening Clare's jeans. She breaks the kiss and goes up on her knees, she bites her lip and tugs her jeans down and I see she wasn't wearing any panties. She gets her jeans down to her ankles and then mounts onto me. She lowers herself slowly and then begins riding me rapidly, I start bucking my hips too and we're soon moving so fast the snow is melting under me. We reach climax within seconds of each other and I moan with a guttural groan but Clare screams out so loud I'm sure the houses near the park heard her. We slow down and Clare collapses on me.
"I think we should get out of here before people come looking for the source of that scream," I comment pulling her up and off me. I fix my clothes and she stands up pulling up her jeans. I take her hand and we start walking to my car.
"Let's go somewhere else," Clare says.
"Don't you think we'd better go home before Drew wants my head on a pike for not getting you home?"
"Drew likes you, he knows I'm with you and my brothers trust you. I'm sure they aren't worried."
"I'm sure all they do is worry about you and we have school tomorrow."
"We'll be back in time for school. We could go to the ravine there's always something going on there," Clare replies.
"Yeah people drinking and if you want to drink there's alcohol at your house," I remind her.
"You want a party Hot Stuff I'll take you to a party," a guy offers stepping out of the shadows and I put my arm around Clare. It's dark and there are three guys, I've seen them around but they go to Bardell and I don't know their names.
"I don't want to go to one of your loser parties and we just made our own fun," Clare responds with a bitingly sardonic tone.
"Yeah we heard your scream, if you like having sex in the snow we can warm you up," he grins.
"Don't talk to my girlfriend that way," I growl at them puffing my chest out and step forward.
"I think she's too hot for your sorry ass and a we could make her scream louder and a dozen more times," one of them says.
"You want to say that again?" I growl letting go of Clare to step forward.
"Don't Fitz they aren't worth it. Let's go and find some real fun," Clare says grabbing my hand and pulling me back to her. We start to turn and I almost have my arm around her again when one of the guys grabs her hand and yanks her from me pulling her to him.
"I think we should pummel this loser and you should party with us," he grins and starts unzipping her jacket.
"And I think," Clare smiles, "you three are disgusting."
Then she brings up her knee and gets him in the groin, not once but twice after which crumples to the ground like a toppled building. Then she takes my hand and we run to my car jumping in and I start driving before that guy's friends find us.
"That was fun let's go find some more fun."
"That was fun? They wanted to rape you and beat the crap out of me."
"And I kneed his balls into paste. Come on let's go to the ravine, no let's go to Bardell and have sex on their bleachers."
"I think it's time to go home."
"I don't want to go home I want to go do something," she asserts and I stop the car pulling over.
"Okay what's going on?" I inquire.
"Nothing I just want to go out."
"No you don't just want to go out it's like you…" I'm saying when Clare unbuckles and jumps out of the car. "Clare where are you going?" I call after her trying to get out of the car but I'm still buckled. By the time I get out of the car and I've turned it off she's halfway down the street. I think she's going to disappear around a corner and I won't catch her. She does in fact turn a corner into an alleyway. I watch her vanish in the dark and I'm thinking I'm going to have to go to her house and tell her brothers that I lost her. Until I hear her screech and the sound of metal crashing. I turn the corner and find her lying in the snow. "Clare are you okay?"
"I'm fine I just slipped in the snow," she replies sitting up and but when I see her put her hand to her head I get out my phone. I use the light from the phone to look at her. She has a bump on her head and a cut on her hand. I shine the light around and it looks like she crashed into a garbage can and a couple of crates. "Okay time to go home," I comment putting my phone back and picking her up.
"I don't want to go home," she replies.
"I know but you're on the injured list now and we're going home. If you fight me again I'll just have to call Owen, Johnny and Lucas and have them help me."
She huffs a little but puts her head on my shoulder and I carry her to the car setting her down on the hood. I unlock the door and get her in the car. I guess her head is starting to hurt because she leans back against the seat and doesn't try to run. I get in the driver's seat, grab Sean's old bandana from the glove box wrapping it around her hand and then drive us to her house. She gets out of the car and we go inside, I tell her to go to her room. I grab some ice and a first aid kit before going to her room. She's lying on her bed and I put the ice on her forehead and clean her hand putting a bandage on it.
"Let me see the bump, do you feel nauseous or dizzy?"
"No," she replies.
"Okay stay here with ice on your forehead I'll be right back," I tell her and leave her room. It's late, well actually very early in the morning but I want to talk to her brothers right now so I knock on Drew's door. "Drew I need to talk to you," I call through the door. His door is farthest from Clare's or I would have gone to Adam's door.
"What's going on? Where's Clare and where the hell have you two been?" Drew asks still pulling on pajama bottoms when he opens the door.
"She's in her room. I need to talk to you and Adam but I don't want Clare to hear us," I tell him.
"Adam come here," Drew calls knocking on his brother's door. A few seconds later Adam comes out of his room.
"What's wrong with Clare?" Adam yawns. I grab them both by the sleeves and drag them into the kitchen so we can talk.
"She was happy at the party until Sean came and was talking to Jay about how Jay was feeling. After that she was okay until we started talking about Zig."
"Yeah she had that pasted smile on her face the rest of the party and then lost it when Jay went to lie down. She was sad after that and thinking about the people she's lost and is afraid of losing. I figured you had taken her out to cheer her up," Adam tells us.
"Not exactly, I was driving us back here but Clare insisted on not going home. She wanted to do something, not just something she wanted a thrill, adrenaline rush. We made one of our own," I grin thinking of us in the snow before wiping it from my face, "and we found one, nearly escaping a few guys from Bardell. We got in my car and she wanted to go to the ravine so I pulled over to ask her what was going on and she jumped out of my car. She took off running, she went around a corner and I guess slipped in the snow. She's okay, a bump on the head and a small cut on her hand. It's not her injuries that worry me it's her behavior tonight. More than an adrenaline junkie it's like she wanted to remember she was alive."
"Yeah or kill herself before the rest of us die," Adam sighs.
"She already feels like she shouldn't be here and now she's trying to be the first one to die so she doesn't have to feel loss again," Drew sighs leaning against the wall, "didn't we have a plan at some point to keep her locked in her room until she was 40?"
There may or may not be a chapter next Saturday, I may not have the time due to family obligations. I'll let you know by Friday night if there will be a chapter so keep an eye on the DeGrassi Saviors website. The update will include Spin and Paige's wedding and possibly Christmas.