phil's pov
My alarm angrily goes off the next morning, and after groggily opening my eyes, I glare at the iPhone on my nightstand screaming the marimba melody before shutting it off. I rub my eyes and face, throw on my glasses, and reluctantly swing my legs out of bed - then pause as I notice them. It takes a second for the events of last night to come back to me; the bruise, the writing. The soulmate. I hope he saw the last message I wrote after I got out of the shower, but regardless, I have to erase it.
I get out of bed completely now and shuffle outside my bedroom into the hallway, and then into the bathroom I used to share with my brother before he went off to college. I lock the door and use the bathroom, brush my teeth, and wash my face. After rinsing most of the soap out of it, I take the damp rag and rub my leg to get my pen markings off my thigh. My brain seems to be fully awake now, and I let myself think about what happened last night. It still feels totally surreal; there's a guy out there who I'm meant to be with for the rest of my life. And I talked to him just 7 hours ago for the first time.
I want to tell everybody, but there's two glaring problems with that: one, no one knows I'm gay, and two, he'd asked to stay anonymous. I can't pressure him into revealing his identity to me by having everyone running around talking about how I'm gay and have a soulmate but don't know who he is. I suppose i could tell my parents, but - no, they'd talk about it too, and besides, they'd ask questions about him. How can I tell them I don't know my own soulmate's name?
So I resign myself to keep my connection to myself for now. I exit the bathroom and go back to my own room, finish getting ready for school, and head downstairs.
"Hey, Mom," I say when I enter the kitchen.
Okay, all those cheesy movies that depict the stereotypical American family, the little sister sitting with the perfect parents, in the kitchen with a full spread of pancakes, bacon, eggs, and fresh fruit in front of them, only for the teenage son to rush downstairs, grab a sole banana, and run off claiming how he'll be late for school? Totally unrealistic.
My kitchen isn't the perfectly clean, bright, beautiful kitchen always shown, there's no perfect family waiting for me, and there's no abundant display of food just waiting to be eaten. The kitchen counter is littered with crumbs, day old coffee rings, aluminum corners of packaged food wrappers, and half-full glasses, dirty plates, and dirty utensils from last night's dinner. The sun has only barely crested the horizon, showering my kitchen in that soft orange glow but mixing with the harsh halogen ceiling lights to drown it in that ugly beige color. Even if my kitchen was shining with that magical, picturesque movie lighting, it wouldn't dazzle you anyway. The cabinets are a regular shade of deep brown, the stainless steel refrigerator and sink have already begun to dull, and the marble countertops already started to chip away with years of use. And the only one welcoming me downstairs is my mother, my father already off to work and my older brother away at college.
She looks up from the dining table, clean only because we moved everything leftover from dinner to the counter last night, where she's sipping her coffee and reading the newspaper. She offers me a distracted "Good morning, hon'," as she returns to reading. I set my bag on the table and make myself a quick bowl of cereal before joining her, glancing at the clock to gauge how much time I can spend eating breakfast before I have to go.
When I sit at the table across from her, my mom looks up again and finally seems to register my presence. "How are you this morning?" She asks.
"I'm alright," I answer with a little shrug - it's absolutely killing me not to tell her about my soulmate. I know many kids my age don't really tell their parents anything, but I've never felt the need to hide things from them. It's not like I do drugs, go to parties, or have sex all the time; I have nothing to hide. With shock, I realize how hypocritical that is of me, and make a sudden decision:
"Actually, um, I need to tell you something."
At this, my mom closes her paper after a moment's pause, to finish a sentence I presume, and gives me her full attention. "Of course, sweetie, what is it?"
"Uh, well.." I'm not really sure how to start. I mean, does it really have to be this big deal everyone says it is? I decide to just say it: "I'm gay."
My mom's eyebrows immediately raise as her eyes widen. "Oh." Her eyes then soften. "Okay. Thanks for telling me, Phil." She smiles a bit before standing up, then walks around the table behind my chair and wraps her arms around me from behind to squeeze me tight. "I love you," she says softly in my ear.
"I love you, too," I murmur back, and a moment later she sits back down.
"Why did you decide to tell me this now?" She implores, leaning toward me with her arms crossed on the table, a mischievous twinkle in her eye beginning to appear.
I shrug again. "I just... wanted you to know," I finish lamely.
"Okay. Okay," she says again. "It's almost time for school," she adds, as casually as if we were just talking about the weather. Which is exactly what I wanted. And just one of the many reasons why I love my mother, for being so cool about anything I could throw at her.
After glancing at my phone again, I realize she's right; I only have a few minutes before I normally would leave. Quickly, I finish eating my cereal as my mom returns to reading, then wash out my bowl and exit through the garage door after giving my mom a hug from behind, not unlike the one she gave me just minutes earlier.
As I get into my car, thoughts of my soulmate once again return to my mind. Is this what it's like? I don't even know this person and already my thoughts are consumed by him. I decide to send him a text before I set off to school, simply saying "hey, good morning" and then leaving my phone in the cupholder. A minute later, as I'm turning out of my neighborhood, I hear my phone buzz. I look down for half a second to check my phone, then a horn blares and my head immediately snaps up, my hands automatically readjusting my car back into my lane from where I had drifted. As the car I almost crashed into passes, he comically flips me off - and rightfully so. I wait until I get to the school's additional parking lot in the back of the school five minutes later and park my car before I check my phone.
"morning, excited for another fun day at school?" I can practically hear his dry voice coming from the seat next to me, and I can just picture this becoming a daily thing: us driving to school together and him sarcastically asking if I'm excited for school before we leave. I grin and reply, "you know it," and after a moment, shoot him another text: "you'll never guess what i did this morning."
I slip my phone into my back pocket and clamber out of my car, grab my bag from the backseat, and start the few minute walk around the school to the main entrance. Only a few moments later, my phone buzzes in my pocket. Grinning, I pull it out and squint against the sun's reflection on my phone to read it, but my heart sinks as I see it's only a snapchat from a guy in my grade - probably just him doing his streaks. I'm about to put my phone back when it buzzes again in my hand, this time, a text from my soulmate. I quickly open my phone to read: "yeah? i guess you'll just have to tell me, then." I think I detect a flirtatious note, but he's so casual about it, I can't tell. So I just say, "i came out to my mom."
I leave my phone open a few moments longer, hoping he's still on his phone, and - yes! I see the typing bubbles pop up. After a second, his message comes in, "wow, really? how'd that go?" "yeah, i realized i probably should. getting connected to you inspired me. and it went surprisingly well, she was super cool about it," I reply.
"that's awesome, i probably will too eventually but i'm sure my parents will be a lot less cool about it," he says a minute later. "oh, that sucks, im sorry :( let me know how it goes if you decide to".
That's the end of the conversation for now, which is just as well, because I'm almost at the front of the school. I join the crowd of kids streaming into the doors, and as I pass through the threshold, I can't help but look around at my classmates and wonder which one is my soulmate.
A/N: hey guys! sorry it took like 2 months to get another chapter up :/, you know how life can get. if you havent already, please check out the other things i've published in between posting the last chapter and this one, it would really mean a lot to me! as always, please review this fic with what you think about it and fav or follow if you'd like to as well, i love seeing people enjoying my stuff. last thing before i end this, my pm inbox has been pretty empty these past few months so it would be super cool if one of you would shoot me a message; i miss talking to people on here. ~l