In which they were young

…o…

It was a beautiful winter morning.

An elegant women with almost-white hair walked briskly down the market street. A little boy, with rosy cheeks from the cold despite the scarves and coats he was buried in, clung onto her arm as he looked around the shops. After a bit, he tugged on his mother's arm and said something, reaching his arms up. She laughed and picked him up before continuing down the street.

Eventually the market stalls turned into brick apartment buildings, and the woman slowed down before walking up the worn metal stairs to one of them. "Vitya, are you alright?" she asked, setting the boy down.

Vitya sniffled and rubbed his nose. Marisha smiled as she took his hand again. "Would you like some hot chocolate?" The boy nodded as he pulled his hood down. Marisha led the way to their apartment, before fumbling with her numb fingers and her keys. When she opened the door, they were met by the smell of dinner and chocolate in the air. Vitya squealed happily and ran into the house, clearly making a beeline for his father.

Marisha laughed and called him back. "Vitya, you need to take off your coat and shoes." After a moment, a man commanding the same elegant air as Marisha returned with Vitya in his arms and an amused look on his face.

Once the two had changed and settled down in the living room couch, Alexei came in with three mugs of hot chocolate on a tray, one a little smaller than the other two.

"Did you find anything good?" Alexei asked. Marisha huffed and tucked a loose hair behind her ear.

"My mother is hard to shop for. I thought I found a nice necklace, but it was too expensive. I doubt they will lower the price before the holidays are over. I'll go again tomorrow."

Alexei hummed. "Did Vitya find anything he likes?" he directed the question to his son this time.

Vitya paused on downing his hot chocolate to look up with wide, iridescent blue eyes. "I found a train s

His parents both laughed. "I told you, Vitya, we can't bring the big trains home," Marisha said with a fond smile. "If you find a toy train you like, Mama and Papa will buy it for you, okay?" Vitya sighed deeply, which made his parents giggle again, before returning his focus to his hot chocolate.

His parents continued talking about the holiday season coming up, and Vitya was thoroughly distracted trying to chase down a marshmallow still uneaten in his mug, before noticing something on his wrist.

"Mama, Papa!" He shouted, nearly dropping his mug in excitement. Marisha quickly took it and set it down. "Look, look!"

On his wrist, in neat calligraphy, were two Japanese characters, which they would later find out spelled the name,

Yuuri.

…o…

It was the brink of winter in Hasetsu. Autumn fought to maintain its grasp on the flora and fauna, but winter found its way to seep through the cracks. Some trees were still adorned with ruby, amber, and gold, but some leaves had become the color of spring soil.

A young girl caught a leaf falling from the sky as she walked with her father, her other hand holding his. Her father had been waiting for her right outside the school building when the school day had ended, and had excitedly told her that her baby brother was going to be born.

She didn't know what to make of the situation. She was definitely excited to have a younger brother, but she found babies pretty annoying and she figured it would be a while before they could do anything together. Still, she was looking forward to seeing her baby brother for the first time at least.

They waited by the hospital room for a while, but when it seemed like the labor would continue for quite some time, her father took her to get dinner and drop some of her books at home. She brought the rest with her to do homework while waiting. Her dad left sometimes to go into the room to support her mom (she didn't want to watch), so she was allowed to sit with the nurses then so they could keep an eye on her.

Eventually, right when she was about to fall asleep, she heard a baby start crying.

After some time she was allowed to come in and see him. Mom seemed really tired, but she was holding the baby and positioned herself so her daughter could see. Although the baby looked pretty ugly, she did smile thinking about how cool it was that she had a younger brother now.

As he twisted and turned in their mother's arms, she noticed black letters on his wrist. She pointed them out to their parents, and carefully read the name out loud.

"Victor...wow! Okaa-san, oto-san, he has his soulmate already!"

…o…

Yakov grumbled and muttered under his breath as he heaved his way up the stairs into the ice rink building. Most people would be upset with rule-breaking students and being woken up in the middle of the night, but for someone of Yakov's temperament the effects were amplified.

He pulled out his keys and unlocked the doors to the rink, pushing his way inside. Almost all the lights were off, considering it was three a.m., but there was a little sliver of light poking through an ajar door. He sighed and shook his head, closing the doors behind him.

"Vitya, why are you still here?"

The ten year old looked up, clearly startled to see his teacher leaning the doorway, staring at him with bitter annoyance in his eyes. (But he could tell he wasn't upset, not when he used that name.)

"I...didn't want to go home."

"Why not?"

Victor looked down at his hands and began picking at the skin on his fingers. He had been changing out of his skates and into his sneakers, and his skates were still out. Yakov sighed and leaned down, helping the boy to pack up. Victor quietly began tying his shoes.

"I'll take you home," Yakov muttered, heaving Victor's bag onto the bench.

"I don't want to go home," Victor murmured, beginning to pick at his fingers again.

"Vitya, your mother just called me in tears when she realized you weren't in your bed. You need to go home, at least for her sake."

Victor looked up at him now, and Yakov paused when he saw tears forming in his students eyes.

"Please don't make me go home."

Yakov sighed wasn't very common for soulmates to divorce, but then again he wasn't sure if Victor's parents were soulmates. Although it was infrequent, sometimes people did not follow the names on their wrists. But he was unsure of what their situation was, and he wasn't one for speculation into people's private lives. The only reason he really cared about what was happening was because of how Vitya was being affected.

"I'm sorry, I'm not your guardian Vitya."

"Can't you just take me to your house?"

"I can't do that without your mother's permission."

Victor crossed his arms and frowned.

It hadn't taken Yakov very long to realize that something was off with his mother. She hadn't been coming to pick up Vitya from practice lately, often making arrangements with other parents to carpool or bring Vitya home. On the rare occasion she did come, she had a faraway look in his eyes. He was fairly sure Victor wasn't being abused at home, he had taken him aside privately to ask and had been keeping an eye out for red flags, but he could tell that at the least, his mother's entire personality must have changed in the past few months. He could imagine how hard that must be for a ten year old to handle.

But, the law was the law.

"Come on Vitya, let's go."

The boy stood up with a sigh, tugging his sleeve over his wrist.

…o…

"Yuuuuri, what's wrong?"

Minako leaned against the wall, tossing an orange in her hand. Her young student whipped his head around, startled.

"Isn't school starting soon? It's your first day, you should go. What grade are you in now? You're what...nine?"

"Uh-uh-uh yes, Minako-sensei," Yuuri said, clearly still flustered. He picked up a towel from the side and began wiping the sweat from his face. It was hot in the studio, because she usually turned off the air conditioning in the spring. She never really kept it on when there weren't lessons, besides the summer. She would have turned it on if she knew Yuuri was here, though.

Minako wouldn't say Yuuri was her prodigal student, but she would definitely say he was one of the most dedicated, which is why she let him practice in the studio when she wasn't there. She trusted him and his family, and was sure he wouldn't purposefully cause any damage.

He was a good kid. Pretty shy and sometimes had trouble getting words out, but he had a good heart and mind. He had stronger determination and will than many kids his age. He practiced dancing for ages after and before school during the academic year, and during breaks he would spend hours in the studio.

Sometimes though, Minako wasn't sure if that was because of his passion or because he didn't want to go anywhere else.

It didn't seem like Yuuri had very many friends. Sometimes she was worried he was bullied, but she felt like it wasn't her place to force it from him in case it made things worse, but she did keep an eye out for him.

"Did you eat breakfast?"

Yuuri nodded.

"Do you need to go home to get anything?"

Yuuri shook his head.

"Well, let's get you going before you miss your first day then." She picked up his duffel bag sitting alongside the wall, and tossed it to him. Yuuri nodded, and rushed out to get changed.

Minako clicked her tongue against her teeth and began peeling her orange. She would have to keep a close watch over Hitori's boy.

…o…

Victor knew that the ice was where he belonged.

He started winning when he was young. His fanbase started growing, his social circle started growing, and he was home less and less often. More competitions meant not just travelling, but more time at practice and longer hours. He didn't do any other extracurriculars in high school, and it worried his parents, but he knew what he wanted.

He…he knew what he wanted.

…He knew.

…o…

"Another Nikiforov video?"

Yuuri flushed as Phichit leaned over his shoulder to watch his screen.

"You have such a big crush on this guy that even your soulmate would be jealous," Phichit laughed. Yuuri laughed nervously. "I hope not…"

Yuuri still remembered the first time he saw Victor on the TV, in the Hasetsu ice rink. He had watched silently with Yuuko as the casters replayed Victor's performance and then some highlights. When he saw that the skater's named matched the one on his wrist, he was shocked, but passed it off as a coincidence. Victor was a fairly common name…although...if they ever did meet in competition, it would never hurt to ask to see Victor's wrist.

Yuuri sighed at the thought. First, he would have to get into a competition with Victor Nikiforov for that to happen.

…

It wasn't like this was the first time the thought crossed his mind: that the flame in him was passing, that pretty soon the ice would no longer be his solace. But now was the first time he said it out loud:

"I don't know if I really do belong on the ice, Makka."

His poodle looked up at the sound of his voice, and Victor decided to pretend that she could understand him. He was used to taking these feelings alone, but he had found that sometimes articulating thoughts made it easier to work through it.

"I don't know if it makes me happy anymore. I feel like I'm just doing it because everyone expects me to, because it's all I've ever done. I don't know if there's anything else I'm good at. I've dedicated so many years to it, and I didn't focus on anything else."

Makkachin set her head down on Victor's chest, eyes still trained on him. For a moment, Victor wondered if she understood. Maybe she didn't understand the words, but did she understand his emotions? His pain? He wanted her to. He wanted someone to.

But it felt like he had no one to go to.

Being the king of the ice was a very, very isolating experience. Well, if he were being honest, it was more of a self-imposed quarantine.

"I want to go back to when I was younger. When I did it because I wanted to. Before anyone realized I was any good."

He scratched her behind her ears.

"You know, it's funny. I wanted people to know me back then. I wanted to win, I wanted the world to see me. I wanted people to know how hard I worked. But now, I just want to be alone. I guess people will always find faults in what we have, huh, Makka?"

She wagged her tail. He sighed. Even if she didn't understand what he was saying, Victor was glad to have her.

"I don't know what to do. If I went back to school, I don't know what I would study. I didn't think I'd ever have to wonder about it. I thought...the ice would be my life."

Victor's phone buzzed. A text from Yakov. He picked up his phone lethargically, squinting at the message on the screen.

"I guess...we can just figure things out after the competition next month."

…o…

I've been working on this rewrite since like 2019 apparently. It is now 2 a.m. on June 23rd, 2021, and I've decided to finally finish this.
I hope I can continue rewriting and then finishing this fic. People still kept leaving reviews, favoriting, following…and I'm getting back into writing, so I want us to enjoy something together again.

Reviews always appreciated 3