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Please read A/N at the end of this chapter.
Ch. 61 Tell Me Why You Cried & Why You Lied to Me
(LUCAS)
"Mmm hello?" I yawn into my phone.
I was too tired to look and see who was calling. I worked last night and got home at fourwhich was maybe an hour and a half ago. Sales calls, telemarketers and things don't generally call this early, which is why I bothered to answer. I am hoping that's what it is though, because no call this early can be good. The first though in my tired brain is that it's Clare they're calling about, that she's run or she's hurt or something. I'm too tired to realize she hasn't been the one in trouble for a very long time.
"Lucas," Mom's apologetic voice forces my eyes open. Her tone is apaologetic yet laced with worry, it's the worry in the tone that opens my eyes. "I'm sorry to wake you Honey, but did Jane say anything to you about coming home this weekend?"
"No, I haven't talked to her in a few weeks. Last I heard she was coming home for the summer, but not until June. I know she called Jay on his birthday and told him the same, she'd be home in June after finals were done and school was out," I reply. My deep voice is graveled by sleep, and I've woken Mia, I can feel her stirring.
"That's the last I heard too, but she's asleep here, in her old room. She must have come in very late last night. I thought maybe she didn't want to wake me and called you. I thought her finals didn't start until this week. I was surprised to see her this morning, now I'm worried. Why didn't she say anything about coming home early?"
"At least she's there and she's safe right? Try not to worry too much and get to work, let Janie sleep. I'll come over in a little bit and see what's going on. I'll call Jay in a bit too, it's possible she called Jay, they've been talking a lot recently."
"You're right, she's here and safe I shouldn't worry. You'll call me at work when you know, won't you?"
"Of course." We say goodbye and when the call ends I look at the time on my phone. 6:18, I got just over an hour of sleep.
"What's wrong?" Mia asks with a yawn.
"Jane came home early, Mom found her sleeping in her bed this morning. She wasn't due home for a few weeks though, and she didn't tell anyone she was coming. Mom's worried, but I told her I'd go over later and talk to Jane."
"You want me to go with you?" Mia offers as she rolls over and cuddles up to me.
"No, you have school. I'm going to try and get a couple more hours of sleep though."
Mia kisses my chest, my eyelids close on their own and I'm soon asleep again. I know I told Mom not to worry, but I have a troublesome dream about Jane. I wake up worried and tired, it's just after ten now. At least, I got a few more hours of sleep. I text Jay asking if he's heard anything from Jane recently, I know he's working though, so I take a shower and hope he'll have gotten back to me by the time I'm out. When I get out of the shower I do have a text from him.
Jay: No. Haven't talked to her in over a week. Everything okay?
Lucas: Not sure. Apparently she came home last night and didn't tell anyone or call any of us. Heading to my mom's place in a bit to talk to her.
Jay: Ok. Let me know what's going on please. I gotta work or I'd come.
Lucas: Yeah I will.
I set my phone down and get dressed, leaving the apartment as soon as I'm ready. Since The Dot is on the way to Mom's place I stop in for breakfast.
"You look tired," Spinner comments when he sees me.
"Got woken up by a phone call from Mom at six."
"What's going on?" Spinner questions.
"Jane came home last night without telling anyone. She wasn't due home for a few weeks, didn't call me, mom or Jay when she decided to come home early or when she got in last night. I'm headed over there to talk to her. Can I get a triple shot espresso, a cinnamon mocha and two bear claws?"
"Let me know how talking to her goes, and call me if you need anything," Spin says as he rings me up.
"I will, and thanks," I smile as I pay. This is the great thing about our gang, our family that we all made by coming together. If one of us is in trouble or worried everyone is there for us.
I take the breakfast and get back in my car driving to Mom's. I have a key still and let myself in. I hear the shower going upstairs, so I know she's up. I put out pastries on plates and set them on the coffee table with Jane's coffee. I sit on the sofa drinking my coffee and eating my breakfast, waiting impatiently for my sister to get down here and explain herself. I've finished eating and the coffee is nearly gone by the time I hear her get out of the shower.
"Hi," she says coming into the living room, "what are you doing here?"
"I was about to ask you the very same thing," I respond as she sits down on the sofa.
"Nice to see you too bro," she quips back with a sarcastic tone.
"You know that's not what I mean. You aren't supposed to be home yet, you told no one you were coming. Didn't call me or Jay to come get you from the airport," I comment handing her coffee to her.
She sips her coffee, takes a bite of the bear claw, chews slowly, and swallows before answering me. "We took finals early, so I changed my ticket and came home early. I got in so late I didn't want to call anyone to come get me."
It's a reasonable explanation, yet I don't believe a word of it. She didn't answer right away, she won't look at me when she talks, and there's almost no emotion in her voice. Not to mention she knows I work nights and would have been up. I'm also pretty sure Jay would have been more than happy to come get her no matter the hour.
"I was working last night, didn't even get home until after four this morning, you could have called me. I'm also sure Jay would have been happy to come get you."
"I couldn't be sure that you were working, I didn't want to wake you or Mia in the middle of the night if you weren't. I didn't want to bother Jay," she shrugs tearing off a piece of the bear claw and eating it.
Somehow, I just know she's not telling me the truth. She still won't look at me, and there's something wrong with her tone, it's distant and dry. Whatever did happen she's clearly not going to tell me right now, maybe she'll talk to Mom later or Jay even. I decide to drop it, at least for the time being.
"So, you're home all summer now?"
She only nods in response.
"Jay will be happy, he's working today, but should be off around six or so. You should call him, make plans for dinner or something," I tell her.
"Yeah, I'll call him. Later though, I need to run a few errands this morning."
"You just got here, what errands could you need to run?"
"Well, Mom wasn't prepared for my coming, so I need to get groceries for one," she responds.
I nod, though I'm not sure I believe her. "I have nothing to do for the next few hours, I can take you to the grocery store."
"Sure, that would be great. I'll just go get my shoes and stuff," she replies.
She's only nibbled away half her bear claw by tearing pieces from it, she still sets it down and goes upstairs. I get out my phone and go outside, so Jane can't hear me. First person I call is Jay.
"You talk to her?" He questions as soon as he answers. He must be on lunch, I wasn't expecting him to answer right away.
"Yeah, she said her final happened early and so she came home early. Said it was a last minute decision to change her ticket and she didn't want to bother anyone so late at night to pick her up. I don't believe her though, something just isn't right. She didn't hug me, wouldn't look at me when she was talking, barely ate. When she talked her tone was weird, kind of distant and dry. I'm taking her grocery shopping in a minute, but I told her to call you this evening. If you make plans with her and get together tonight or tomorrow even, maybe she'll tell you what's really going on."
"Yeah, if I haven't heard from her by tonight then I'll call her. If she does tell me what's going on I'll let you know."
"Thanks, I better go. Talk to you later."
I hang up with Jay then text Spinner what happened. When Jane comes out of the house I'm texting Mom and Mia.
Lucas: Jane says her finals were given early so she changed her ticket. Going to take her to run errands she says she has.
I slip my phone into my pocket and get in the car, "So what other errands do you need to run your first day home?"
(CLARE)
"I need to use the washroom, see you in class," I tell my twin.
The girl's washroom is thankfully fairly empty, I get into a stall and close the door. While I'm peeing, I hear more girls come in. There's at least three of them by the sound of clicking heels, but only one is talking.
"…he's great in bed, and have you seen his body? Fitz is so chiseled," Marisol says.
I hear the lust in her voice, jealousy rushes through me with a wave of rage. I clench my fist and bite down hard on the inside of my cheek. I feel the blood begin to fill my mouth and I don't care.
"What do you even talk about?" Another girl asks, she's on the cheerleading team, but I can't think of her name right now.
"Who needs to talk? I like to keep my lips and tongue otherwise occupied when I'm with him," Marisol replies and the girls giggle. "We're going out tonight, right after he's done with wrestling and I'm done with practice. I might just stay the night at his place," Marisol says. I can hear the carnal smile on her lips, her lascivious tone.
"Don't you want more than physical?" One of them questions, pretty sure they're all on the cheerleading squad.
"I don't want to marry the boy, and you have no idea how talented he is in bed. He's incredibly tender, and so athletic, we went for hours after prom. I guess all he needed was a good fuck to get him over Clare," Marisol comments and her friends laugh.
My eyes well with saltwater, part of me wants to rip the stall door off the hinges and attack Marisol with it. Part of me wants to burst into tears, I bite harder on my cheek to keep from crying, I don't want them to hear me in here. They're still giggling as they leave the washroom. I wipe, leave the stall, wash my hands without looking in the mirror and suck in my lips as I walk out of school through a backdoor. As soon as I'm outside the tears roll down my cheeks, my mouth full of blood I spit some onto the grass. I walk into the woods and around to ravine. A few people look over as I sit down, no one says anything. I've only been sitting a minute when I hear my text sound. I know before I even pull the phone from my purse it's Adam.
Adam: Where are you? And, why do I taste blood?
Clare: Ravine. Bit my cheek.
Adam: You're not coming to class are you?
Clare: No
Adam: You want to talk?
Clare: No
Adam: If you're not back by lunch I'm coming to the ravine.
I put my phone away and sink back into the seat, wiping the tears from my cheeks and spitting more blood from my mouth. I don't know whether to scream or cry, so I just sit there looking at the fire. My cheek continues to bleed, I keep spitting out the blood until someone hands me a paper towel.
I'm hurt, angry, jealous and worst of all angry with myself. I broke up with Mark to date Jeff. I can't stop Mark from dating, in the back of my mind I knew it might happen. In the back of my mind I also rather selfishly hoped it wouldn't happen. I hoped that somehow I could keep Mark for myself. I try to convince myself that I shouldn't be jealous, that I'm with Jeff and Mark is free to date, even a tramp like a Marisol. It doesn't work, the longer I sit there thinking about it the angrier I get, the jealousy rippling through me, and the more I hate Marisol. Everything she said in the washroom replays in my mind over and over. I begin to picture it, and this makes me feel ill.
No longer wanting to just sit I get up and start wandering, no clue where I'm going, not home, not school, not Mark's. I just sort of aimlessly meander the streets as tempests of emotions swirl through me every few seconds. All caught up in my emotional turmoil and hardly paying attention to my surroundings, just enough to not get killed, I don't notice a car pulling up next to me.
"Clare, get in the car," Lucas demands.
I look over and see not only him but also Jane. I get in the car, even in my state I know if I don't he'll just pick me up and put me in the car.
"Hi Jane, I didn't know you were back yet," I greet as I buckle up.
"No one did, she surprised us this morning. Why are you wandering, and why is there blood in your mouth?" Lucas inquires.
"Didn't want to be at school and I bit my cheek," I reply.
"Okay, home or Dot?" Lucas asks. I knew he wouldn't insists on taking me back to school, not that I like either of those other choices right now.
"Dot, I guess," I sigh.
"Text your brothers, the two at DeGrassi," Lucas commands. I text Adam and Drew that I'm going to The Dot and probably won't come back to school. While we drive I hear from Jane that she finished finals early and so came home early. "Here, she was wandering," Lucas says pushing me into the café. Since classes have started and morning rush is over there's no customers right now.
"Thanks," Spinner says to Lucas. "Welcome home Jane," he smiles at her.
"Thanks, good to be back," she smiles.
"We're going shopping, Jane needs some things, we'll see you two later," Lucas says. He and Jane wave as they leave.
"Do I need to call the school?" Spin asks pulling me behind the counter.
"Probably, not sure what Adam told them," I reply as I hop up and sit on the counter.
"Why are your teeth all red?"
"Bit my cheek, drew a lot of blood."
"Why would you bite your cheek?" Spin questions. He's already dialing the school, so I don't answer. "Yeah, it's Spinner Mason. Clare went home because she wasn't feeling well, she won't be back to school today." Spin waits a second before saying thanks and then hangs up, I still can't answer him I'm just crying now. "What happened? Who do I need to kill?" Spin asks hugging me tightly.
"Mark had sex with Marisol, I heard her talking about it in the girl's washroom. I know it shouldn't hurt so much, I broke up with him, but I hate her. And, I hate him for touching her. I know it isn't right, it isn't fair, but I still want him Spin," I sob against my oldest brother's chest.
"Oh Clare, when it comes to what our hearts want it isn't always fair. Especially, in high school. He's one of my closest friends, but I'll beat up Fitz if you want me to," he offers. I know he really wouldn't, Mark is one of us, one of the gang which makes him family. I do appreciate that he said he would though.
"No, but if I get suspended for tearing off all of Marisol's hair don't be too angry."
"You know you're going to have to talk to Fitz," Spin tells me. I shake my head in response. "Let's see this bite on your cheek," Spin says changing the subject. He gets out his phone turning on the flashlight app and I open my mouth so he can see. "Shit, trying to bite through your mouth," he remarks moving my lip to see it better. "It's still bleeding," he comments.
"I know," I shrug.
"I think I need to take you in."
"Why? It'll stop bleeding."
"You have no spleen Clare, the doctor warned us about infections and cuts in the mouth. He may tell us it's fine, but I'm taking you in to make sure," Spinner tells me. He's both worried and admonishing in his tone.
"You can't just close the café, it'll be lunch soon," I argue.
"Karen's shift is in ten minutes, I'm calling her now. Go lock the front door and turn the sign to closed," Spinner tells me.
I hop off the counter and lock up while he calls Karen. He tells her he's taking me to urgent care, he's not sure when he'll be back, and for her to call a couple other employees to see if they can come in and handle the lunch shift.
When we get in his car I get out my phone, knowing Adam will worry, and then Drew will worry.
Clare: Spin taking me to urgent care. I'm fine. He's worried about the bite on my cheek. Tell the others, including Jeff. Also, that I won't be back at school today.
We arrive at urgent car, Spin tells them why I'm here and sits down to fill out some forms. While he does that I'm forced to rinse my mouth with warm water and rubbing alcohol, it was gross. They aren't that busy, so we're not waiting long before a nurse comes to get my vitals. While we're waiting for the doctor I get two texts one from each brother still at school.
Adam: Probably wise to take you in. We'll talk when I get home. I'll tell Jeff.
Drew: Hell do you mean you're going to urgent care? What bite on your cheek? Why aren't you at school?
Clare: Something happened this morning. I bit my own cheek. I'm fine, I'll see you when you get home from work.
Drew replies with an angry emoji. At least, he won't be home until around nine tonight and by that time he shouldn't want to yell at me, I hope anyway.
"Hi Clare, I'm Doctor Bader I'm sorry for the delay I was reviewing your history. Let's take a look at this bite," he comments getting a flashlight from his white coat. He puts on gloves, I open my mouth and he shines the penlight in. He manipulates my mouth a little when he's done he gives me some gauze to put in my mouth. "That's a pretty nasty bite, mouths are full of bacteria, and due to your splenectomy, I'm going to prescribe a blanket antibiotic. You'll need to take the whole bottle, you'll also need to keep your mouth as clean as possible for the next several days. Frequent brushing, rinsing twice a day with warm water and alcohol. I'm also recommending you return in a couple days for a blood test. If you feel nauseas, get a fever or rash, or see any other signs of infection go to the hospital immediately."
"I'll keep a close eye on her Doc, and I'll bring her back Wednesday," Spinner says.
"Very good, I'll get your prescription ready, is DeGrassi street pharmacy okay?"
"Yeah, that's the one we always use," Spin nods.
"Alright, I'll send that in now and the nurse will give you all the paperwork and information you need before you leave. We'll see you back here in a couple of days for your blood test," the doctor says before leaving.
"You'll go home and rest after this, I'll have Johnny come by or see if I can get coverage at the café," Spinner comments.
"I bit my cheek, I…" I start to argue until Spinner shoots me a look. "Fine, home to rest, but I don't need a baby sitter."
"Like I'm taking the chance that you'll wander off again," Spin replies.
I'm not in the mood to argue, so I drop it. At least, I know Johnny is company that won't pressure me to talk. Spin makes an appointment for Wednesday before school to have them draw some blood. They give us some information on where to go and what I need to do before having my blood taken. We go straight home and I turn on the TV while Spin starts making calls, the pharmacy, The Dot, Johnny, Paige, Dot employees.
"Okay, Johnny's on his way. As soon as he gets here I'm going to go get your prescription. I'll bring it back and then head to the café to help out for the afternoon shift. I should be home this evening, Paige will be home right after work and Adam right after school. Do you need or want anything else when I run out for your prescription?"
"I'm a bit hungry, but I'm not sure what I can eat with my cheek. It hurts now, nothing salty."
"I'll bring you a shake from The Dot, see how that does in your mouth first."
"Thanks Spin."
Johnny arrives a few minutes later and Spin leaves. Johnny hugs me and sits down to do his homework. He doesn't ask why I bit my cheek or try and get me to talk. It's something I appreciate about Johnny, he knows if I want to talk I will. Spinner returns with my prescription, shake and some pudding cups.
"Here, and the pills are pretty big, they said if you have trouble swallowing them mix them into the pudding. They have to be taken with food anyway, three times a day and for the next two weeks. I'll be back this evening," Spinner tells us.
"She'll be fine, go to work and stop worrying," Johnny assures him.
Spinner hugs me and thanks Johnny before leaving. Johnny sits with me doing his homework while I drink my shake and do my best to distract myself with the TV. The first time I try swallowing one of the pills it won't go down and I gag it back up, so I crush it into a pudding cup. It worked, sort of, even masked with chocolate pudding I could taste the pill, I drank a bunch of grape juice afterwards just to get rid of the taste.
It's a pretty boring and quiet afternoon, which isn't good because it doesn't distract me. Eventually, I zone out on the TV and go into my head. Thinking about me and Jeff, me and Mark, Mark with Marisol. Thinking of them has me biting my cheek again, which hurts, so I dig my nails into my palm. At least, until Johnny takes my hand and I look at him.
"Stop drawing your own blood," he scolds.
"Sorry, the TV isn't very distracting."
"Adam will be home soon, that should be distracting or will he weasel out of you whatever it is?"
"He probably has an idea already, he'll make me talk though."
"At least, someone can. So, I hear Jane's back in town," Johnny remarks. He's trying to distract me by changing the subject, but I appreciate it.
"Yeah, I saw her this morning when Lucas found me wandering. She said she finished finals early and came home early. I got the impression that Lucas didn't believe her."
"I've never had finals earlier than planned at U of T, does seem odd."
"I'm sure if that's not why she came home Jay can get it out of her."
"True, and if she is home to stay Jay has all summer," Johnny nods.
We hear a car outside and a few minutes later people coming to the front door. I realize now I should have told Adam to keep Jeff from coming over. I'm just not ready to see him, as I hear the front door opening I get up quickly disappear to my room locking the door. A moment later someone's knocking on it.
"It's me," Adam calls through the door, "Jeff isn't here I told him you were sick."
I get up and open the door letting my twin in, "Thanks."
Adam closes the door and sits with me on my bed, "Everyone else is here. They knew you weren't sick."
"Mark?"
"So, this is about Fitz. No, he went to the garage. And, Drew's at work. Owen's here, Bianca, K.C. and Jenna. Johnny was here already, I sent Anya home with Jeff. Is this about Fitz and Marisol?"
"He slept with her Adam, and I know I shouldn't be jealous because I broke his heart to date Jeff. When I heard Marisol talking about it in the washroom I wanted to poke her eyes out, rip all her hair out."
"You need to talk to Fitz," Adam says, and I shake my head. "Clare, you can't hide out forever, you can't try and bite through your cheek again. And, if you do fight with Marisol Fitz is going to figure it out anyway. You've never cared who Marisol was with before now."
"She was never with anyone I cared about before."
"You're going to have to talk to them Clare, Fitz and Jeff," Adam tells me. I scrunch up my face, I don't want to talk to either of them, I want it to all be magically fixed.
"I don't want to hurt anyone or lose either of them. What about you and Anya?"
"Anya and I aren't dating because you're with Jeff. Don't use my relationship to make excuses for not talking with them Clare. You have to tell them what you're feeling. Jeff is probably going to call tonight and you're going to see Fitz at school tomorrow. If I taste blood again I'm going to have them both come over here to confront you."
"I'll talk to them," I resign. I just didn't say when I'd talk to them.
"Good, now how bad did you hurt yourself? Spin wouldn't take you in for a little bite in your cheek."
I show Adam the bite and tell him about having to go in for a blood test and the antibiotics as a precaution. Adam tells me he brought my homework and asks if I want to do it in my room.
"No, let's do it with everyone else, I was only hiding from Jeff," I comment getting up.
"I know, that's why I told him not to come over. You can only hide from him tonight though. You won't be able to hide tomorrow."
"I know," I reply sighing a bit. For the first time ever, I wish my life was more like a soap opera, so that I could have both boys. It's not and tomorrow I'll have to face reality, at least for tonight I can avoid it a bit longer.
(JAY)
Just as I'm getting ready to leave my place my phone rings, I pull it from my pocket as I lock the front door.
"Hey Lucas," I answer. When he called this morning and asked if I'd heard from Jane I was worried. Happy that she was back sooner than expected, but worried as to why. "You get anything from her?" I question.
"Nope, she said the final was early, that's all she would say. Actually, she wouldn't talk about school at all, mostly she talked about things she wanted to do this summer," Lucas tells me as I get in my car.
"I called Stanford, and after a bit of calling around I managed to find out that none of the finals have been given yet."
"I knew she was lying. What happened and why won't she tell me?"
"I'll try and get it out of her tonight," I assure him.
"Thanks, let me know if you find out huh? I'll keep my phone close by all night."
"Yeah, I will."
Lucas and I hang up, I set the phone in the cupholder and spend the rest of the short drive thinking of possible reasons Jane came home early. My first thought is that it's like Paige coming back from Banting, maybe Jane couldn't take the pressure. If that's it why wouldn't she just tell us though?
I park in front of Evelyn's and go up to the front door. I ring the bell, Evelyn answers and we greet each other before she calls up the stairs to let Jane know I'm here.
"You look nice," I smile when Jane comes downstairs.
"Thanks, you too," she grins back. We say goodbye to her mom and get in my car.
"How's Indian sound?" I question as I begin driving.
"Sounds great, I haven't eaten since Lucas brought me breakfast this morning. We were going to stop for lunch but got sidetracked when we saw Clare wandering. She managed to get pretty far from her neighborhood," Jane comments.
"Yeah, she does that, one of these days she's going to wander her way all the way to Mississauga or something. I wouldn't be surprised if Spin p…wait why didn't anyone tell me she ditched school and went missing?"
"I don't think she was really missing. She was upset, I think Adam knew where she was or at least that she wasn't at school. Lucas and I took her to The Dot and left her with Spinner."
"I'll call Spin later, she only wanders when something is really upsetting her and she's feeling trapped. So, did you and Lucas get your errands done? I'm happy to take you around after we eat," I offer.
"Thanks, but we got it all done, we just didn't stop to eat."
I want to ask her about school, about why she came home, but I don't want to start the date that way.
"Any plans for the summer?"
"Not really, I'll probably see a couple of my old friends. Spend time with my mom, Lucas and Mia, and you of course," she says which makes me smile. "I was thinking about getting a job, save up some money. I wonder if Spin has any openings at The Dot?"
"I'm pretty sure he always needs help in the summers."
"I'd like to come with you to more of your support groups if that's okay?"
"Of course, it is. I love having you there with me," I reply, and she smiles.
"I want to help Mom in the yard too, she always talks about making a garden and she never does. I was thinking about getting back into singing too, maybe starting a band. I remember Lucas telling me Adam plays bass and guitar."
"Sounds like a busy summer, don't you want time to relax?"
"I like to keep busy," she shrugs. "How's work going?" She asks before I can say anything else.
"Good, work is good. The garage is getting really busy, we're talking about hiring a new mechanic this summer."
"Business is booming, that's good."
We make small talk all through dinner, it's had to avoid talking about her school, but I don't want to upset her. I talk about the gang mostly, what everyone's been up to, what I heard about junior prom, Sean and Em's wedding plans. We stay at the restaurant a little over an hour, I pay, and we get in my car.
"Do you want to go get dessert? Unless you're ready to go home?" I question as I start the car.
"No, I don't want to go home yet. Why don't we pick up dessert and go back to your place to watch a movie," Jane suggests.
"Sounds like a good plan to me," I grin, "what would you like for dessert?"
"Ice cream sounds good, we can just grab some from the store," she replies.
I stop at a grocery store, we both pick out some ice cream and I get some chocolate sauce as well. We return to my place, fill a couple bowls with ice cream and chocolate then sit down on the sofa. I let Jane pick the movie, she picks a movie I like thankfully, not that I thought she'd pick a romance or something. We watch the movie and eat desert, when she's finished dessert she sets her bowl down and moves a little close to me, which makes me smile. When the movie is done we get up taking our bowls into the kitchen.
"Okay, why'd you really come home?" I ask her point blank.
"The final was given early, so I was able to come home early," she shrugs. She turns her back to me when she talks though.
"I called Stanford Jane, the school hasn't done any of the finals yet, you just left. We're all happy you're home, but worried about why. It's not like you to run out on something like that, especially something as important as school."
She's leaning on the counter, she's shaking a little, crying I think. I wonder if I should go over and hold her, it's my instinct, but worry that she'll push me away keep me where I am.
"I…just couldn't…it…" she seems to be having trouble getting it out. I get that she doesn't want to tell me, I'm just not sure why.
"Couldn't what? Take the test? Did you burn out like Paige?" I question walking closer to her. I put a hand on her should, she turns to look at now.
"Yeah, it was just too much. I needed a break, I ran home and away from it. I was too embarrassed to tell my family. I'm supposed to be the golden child, ivy league, set future," she remarks. Her voice is dry, and she won't meet my eyes. I know what she's telling me, but I don't believe her any more than I did. I realize I shouldn't have spoken and answered for her, but I was getting impatient. Whatever it is she's clearly not ready to tell me, so I drop it for now.
"I don't think Lucas, or your mom will care, they love you and they just want to know you're okay," I tell her. I put some emphasis on okay, hoping it kind of guilts her into fessing up.
"Yeah," she nods looking away even more, "I should probably get home."
"Let's get you home then."
She grabs her bag and we go out to my car. We're silent on the drive, she's looking out the window, I know something is on her mind and I wish she would talk. I don't want to push though, it never seems to do any good with Clare, and I don't know what else to say, so we're just silent.
"I had fun tonight," Jane smiles when I pull up to her mom's.
"Me too, would you like to go out again tomorrow night? Or we could stay in and have dinner at my place."
"That sounds great, I'll see you tomorrow," she says. She kisses my cheek before getting out of the car. When she's inside with the door locked I start driving home and call Lucas.
"Did she tell you?" He asks when he answers.
"Kind of, she gave me the same excuse at first. I told her I knew that was a lie, she was sort of stumbling over a response, it sounded like she wasn't able to take the pressure, like Paige. I asked if that's what it was, I was getting frustrated not knowing, but I should have kept my mouth shut. I'm pretty sure she took that excuse and ran with it, said she was embarrassed to tell you and your mom because she's supposed to be the golden child. I'm sure she was still lying, but I didn't want to push. I'll try again tomorrow night, she's coming to my place for dinner."
"Thanks Jay, it's not like Jane to hold things back."
"Yeah, that's what has me worried. I'll let you get back to work. I'm going to the Mason's, hang out there for a while."
"Cool," Lucas says and we hang up.
I really hope Jane tells me what's really going on tomorrow.
Update soon picking up the next day most likely. Also, this story is drawing to a close, not quiet sure when at the moment. There may be ten chapters still in this story, there may be two. It all kind of depends on how the chapters go and how the plot bunnies speak to me. I'm pretty certain about what you guys want to replace this, but I'm having you vote anyway, that would be the new poll on my page.
Next story to be updated is Live in My House, I'll be Your Shelter.