The baby had been unexpected - a shocking surprise certainly - but she hadn't been unwanted.
Growing up, Jean always looked forward to the day she'd be a mother - as the years went on and she met the quiet, yet charming Christopher Beazley, she imagined being his wife and having his children. That one night, at the tender age of nineteen for Jean, landed her in hot water - an unexpected pregnancy, a sudden shotgun wedding, facing the disappointment of her parents, and the scorn of the town.
She loved that baby, her little girl - Abigail Ruth. She'd been unexpected, but not unwanted. Jean, young and full of wonderful daydreams of her child as her pregnancy advanced, had been happy. Her and Christopher were intending to marry anyways before that night - Abigail's conception just… moved up the timetable some. They settled into life on the farm - and Jean into the identity of "Mrs. Christopher Beazley" - as her belly grew and she started on a baby blanket.
Jean dreamed of her little girl, but the universe decided on a different course for her.
For the longest time, she couldn't think of Abigail without memories of blood and pain and overwhelming sadness. She remembered the panic, the fear, the feel of Christopher's hands - then her mother's - then the Elder Dr. Blake's. She remembered the sorrow in Thomas Blake's eyes and the tight grip Christopher had on her hand. Her world had tilted on its axis - leaving her dizzy and unsure of anything other than knowing it had been her fault - her punishment from God for her transgression.
Christopher tried to reason with her, but it was the only explanation Jean could accept. Her little girl had been unexpected, but not unwanted, and ripped away from her before she had a chance to see her grow. They didn't even have enough money for a memorial stone at Sacred Heart for Jean to visit. Life went on, Jean carried two boys - two wonderful boys - to term and raised them with Christopher and her mother.
But the image of Abigail Ruth Beazley (Jean couldn't let her go without a name, regardless of what people told her) forever burned in her mind. What if she'd lived? What kind of person would she have been? Would they be as close as Jean had been to her own mother? Would she have had children of her own? Abigail Beazley lived on in what ifs and rose-colored daydreams of the life that might have been - and her short existence on this earth forever impacted Jean.