I feel so cruel! Many of you are dying to know what is going on with Stonehelm, but I am afraid that is a long road yet. Plus a healthy dose of writers block and a crazy schedule made me take forever with this post. Sorry!
Anyway, let me know what you think :) As usual, I live for reviews and I appreciate each and every one of my readers.
"Do not give way to useless alarm; though it is right to be prepared for the worst, there is no occasion to look on it as certain."―Jane Austen,Pride and Prejudice
Signi allowed her tears to drop freely until she heard the sound of footsteps behind her and she quickly scrubbed away any evidence of her crying with her sleeve. There was no shame in crying, even Signi was knew that she was not immune, but she would not allow herself to be arrested and brought before the king with tearstained cheeks – especially not when the tears were at his expense.
"You have been a hard girl to find," said the visitor, stopping a few feet behind her.
Sigini raised her head, surprised by the voice, but did not turn around. She expected the gruffness of a guardsman, or the calm tones of her father, or perhaps King Thorin's growl, although that thought made her positively sick. Never did she expect Lady Dis to be the one to track her down.
"First I checked the tower since it is the perfect place to escape unseen, but you were not there," as she spoke, Dis stepped forward and sat beside Signi on the stone ledge. "Then I checked the library because you spend so much time there, but it too was empty."
She could not look the lady in the eye. Despite her quick efforts to dry her previous tears, Signi was dismayed to find new ones welling up and on the verge of spilling over if she turned to look at Dis. "What made you come down here?" she asked, clearing her throat to try and get the thickness out of her voice.
Dis chuckled and shook her head. "Well I decided to think about it from your perspective for a little bit. I thought, 'where would I go if I wanted to not be found by anybody, especially the king?' And of course, the first place I thought of was the one place in the mountain that you are not allowed to go. Why would Thorin check the training arena if dwarrowdams are not allowed to be there? It looks like I was right in that line of thinking."
"Partially right," said Signi with a wry half-smile. "While I did come here because I am not allowed down here, I was certainly hoping to be caught. Although I anticipated my captor to be one of the king's guard." Slowly, she turned to meet Dis' astonished gaze and shrugged. It really did not matter how she was caught, but somehow the king's sister seemed to make the outcome a little less dramatic.
"Why in the world would you want that?"
Again Signi shrugged, chewing her lip as she tried to think of a good answer. Her plan was flawed from the beginning and now she wondered if it was borne out of pure stupidity on her part. "I thought that maybe if …the king…saw me breaking one of his precious rules he would send me back home." The words rang pathetically in her ears. She sounded like a child, adding to her previous embarrassment. What was it about Erebor that made her so silly and juvenile?
Dis' expression softened and immediately she pulled Signi to her in a hug, tucking the girl's face into her shoulder. "Oh Signi," she said softly. "What would we do without you here at Erebor if you went back to the Iron Hills? No, no, Thorin would never let that happen. You could have the elf king over for tea and my brother would turn a blind eye."
Signi snorted against Dis' shoulder, her tears streaming once more. "I somehow doubt that he would let that go," she said, any hints of sarcasm lost in her sobs.
Chuckling, Dis rubbed her back soothingly. "No, I imagine you would hear a great deal of bellowing for such a transgression, but he would never order you from the mountain, especially not now."
"What does that mean?" Signi asked, pulling away from Dis with a frown.
Dis hesitated, her eyes watching Signi as though she was approaching a skittish cat "There are very few in my brother's care that speak to him as you do. They are too afraid of him, too in awe of him, or they are trying to gain something from his approval. He does not know what to do with your bluntness, but also does not want it to stop. Thorin would never admit this out loud, but he will go to great lengths to keep you here, even if you fight it every day."
"That is ridiculous," Signi snorted. "I am nothing but a pebble in his boot. I am just this little annoyance that he can't seem to shake. The king would be glad to see me go."
"First you claim to know my son better than I, and now you know my brother?" Dis snapped although her eyes glinted with humor. "When I say that Thorin Oakenshield does not want you to go, even if he won't admit it, then you know that there is truth to it. He was the one to follow after you tonight. He wanted to offer you comfort, but I stopped him."
Signi felt her stomach drop at those words. He wanted to offer you comfort. Surely Dis was mistaken. Surely the king wanted to chase her down and shout at her for the ridiculous things she said. "Why did you stop him?" she asked hesitantly.
"Would you really want to see him after singing that song to him with the knowledge he has of your favor?" Dis asked with a knowing smile.
A fresh blush washed across Signi's cheeks. Mahal, they all really did know about it. How could she face her friends after this? They all knew that she found the king unnervingly handsome, a fact that she did not dare admit to herself when she was conscious. Would they continue to tease her mercilessly? Would they all ignore it, forever making any discussions about the king embarrassing to both sides? Had the news reached Stonehelm as well?
The last thought had Signi's stomach rolling again. In the past, her friend would have teased her about such a little infatuation. She could even recall a time when she was convinced that she was in love with Rhori, Dain's fiercest warrior. Stonehelm's teasing was unrelenting, and when his tongue was loosened after a night drinking and gaming in the alehouse, he managed to reveal to Rhori's entire battalion the extent of Signi's attraction. It was at that time that Signi swore off of dwarves all together.
Until Stonehelm arrived at Erebor and reminded her just how handsome he had grown to be. Almost as handsome as the king….Mahal, how did she get in this mess?
"Come," said Dis, standing before Signi and offering her hand. "let's go have a drink. You look like you could use one."
Smiling graciously, Signi allowed Dis to help her stand and lead her out of the training arena. She still could not face Thorin, not while the mortification was still fresh in her mind, but she could drink away her sorrows with his sister and hope that Dwalin was right about his old mind letting memories slip away.
Lifa did not want to be found as she hid on the balcony she had shared with Fili just a few nights prior. The dinner party could not be salvaged after Signi and King Thorin left, leaving Lifa to get as far away from the other dwarves as possible. Her father would scold her when she returned to her rooms. As would Gloin and Galen. Gimli would tease, but it would not be heartfelt.
But none of that mattered. She would take a tongue-lashing from every dwarf within the mountain if it meant that Fili would not look at her with that wounded expression or turn away from her in the revulsion he must have felt after such a display. How could the prince want her now that she had behaved so childishly in front of his friends and family? How could he appeal to the king and gain his approval when she had just proven how unfit she was to be a princess and someday Queen? Miri would not have done something that foolish. Miri had years of practice, always knowing how to behave like a sensible lady in public despite her natural tendencies.
Lifa shivered in the breeze, but made no move to go back inside. It was easier to curl up in a ball, pressed against the cold stone exterior, than it was to face the reality of her actions. Maybe if she stayed out here on the balcony they would all forget about her, her stupidity fading in their memories as quickly as mist on a summer morning. Maybe if she stayed out here the prince would move on and find himself a proper lady to make him proud, not an embarrassment like she had become.
She did not know how much time had passed, most likely an hour or more since the army camp down below had quieted down for sleep, but Lifa was so deep in her wallowing that she did not hear the sound of footsteps approaching until she felt a warm presence crouching beside her and comforting arms wrapping around her shoulders and drawing her away from the stone.
Fili's murmurs were soft against her hair as he pulled her tight against him, setting her onto his lap as he sat on the ground and tucking her head beneath his chin. Lifa did not resist him – she could not resist him- as she pressed her tearstained cheeks into his tunic and allowed her mortification to flow in a series of choking apologies.
The prince did not try to stop her as she cried, but simply allowed her to let it out as they rocked. When she finally calmed enough that her sobs became sniffles, Fili pressed his lips against her temple and gently turned her face to his, his thumbs brushing away any dampness that remained.
"My dear Lifa," he murmured, "What would you have to apologize for? You did not know that Oin had told everyone what happened."
Lifa sniffed loudly and cast her eyes downward, too embarrassed to meet the prince's gaze. "I acted like a child and I embarrassed you in front of your friends and family. In front of the king." Her words wavered as more sobs threatened to surface.
Fili frowned slightly but did not pull away. "You did no such thing." He chastised, his frown deepening when she shook her head in disagreement. "Look at me, Lifa." Placing two fingers under her chin, he nudged her face upwards again, forcing her to finally look up. "I promise you, you could never embarrass me, especially not after something as silly as a song. Signi purposely tried to hurt you tonight; it is only natural that you would respond in kind."
His words felt too generous and Lifa had a hard time believing that he had not been angered. She had seen his hurt expression after she sang that song, and that expression was what spurred her to attack Signi as well. "I made such a fool of myself," she moaned, chewing her lip in worry. Fili smiled faintly at the motion and brushed his thumb over her mouth to get her to stop. "How can the king accept me now? A lady doesn't do stupid things like I did. Lady Miri would never –"
"No more talk of Lady Miri," he growled. "I will never accept her, no matter how much her father threatens. You are nothing like her and I praise Mahal for that" Softening his voice slightly, he added, "You don't need to worry about Thorin. He knows of my intentions and will not deny my wishes. But I was right in guessing that he wants us to wait."
Lifa did not know what to say. She was equal parts ecstatic and tearful, the former at Fili's news and the latter at her own behavior. The prince was a great comfort to her and she looked forward to the day that she stood beside him as his wife, but she could not accept that the king would allow it until they finally exchanged their vows. Fili promised that the king was not horrified by her behavior, but somehow she still doubted it. Especially since her retaliation at her sister involved him as well.
Taking a shuddering breath, Lifa met the prince's gaze once more. "Are you sure that you do not want to be free of me now lest I bring some new shame down on the royal family?"
Fili chuckled at her exaggerated worries. "I should be asking you if you wish to be free of me while you have the chance, for I fear I cannot stand to be separated from you much longer."
Lifa melted in his arms when he pressed his lips to hers. How was it that he could comfort her so easily? He was so quick to forgive. No dwarf that she knew would let her foolishness slide so quickly.
He chuckled when he finally drew away. "I have to admit, it was not easy hearing the mother of my future children sing songs about rocking the cradle and crying."
She knew he was teasing, but immediately Lifa's cheeks flamed with embarrassment and excitement. Mahal, she thought, mother of his children.
"It's just a song," she grumbled, nudging her nose against his for another kiss, which Fili eagerly supplied, chuckling again as he did so.
They remained embraced on the balcony, neither willing to give up their hold on the other. But the mountain winds grew colder and soon Lifa's teeth were chattering despite the warmth Fili shared. She tried to hide it by burying her face in his chest, but the prince would not allow her to freeze and insisted that they go back in.
He held her hand as they walked to Gloin's home. Lifa dragged her steps, praying to Mahal and Durin that Signi was already asleep. Fili knew what was slowing her down, but he did not say anything until she came to a complete stop at the base of the stairs leading to the residence halls.
"You have to face her sometime," he said. "She will be angry tonight and maybe tomorrow, but it will pass."
"I know it will," Lifa said quietly. "But that doesn't mean that it will make tonight any more bearable than tomorrow night."
Fili gave her a sympathetic smile. "No, perhaps you are right. Just be thankful that it is not Kili you angered tonight."
Lifa smirked, knowing that there had to be a story behind that. "Oh? And how would Kili's reaction be any better than Signi's? Remember, she too is deadly with a weapon."
"That is true," nodded Fili. "But Kili is stealthier. I have never seen a dwarf scale a wall as easily as he can, but I learned never to enter our room after ratting him out to mother or uncle without a shield. He would hide in the rafters and wait for me to come in. Gave me this scar," rolling back his sleeve, Fili revealed a pink scar on his forearm. "And this one," he added, tugging down the collar of his tunic and shirt to reveal another just above his heart.
"His aim improved," Lifa smirked. Unable to resist the temptation he offered, she ran her fingers lightly over the scar on his chest. Looking up, she was surprised to see his eyes darkened and half closed with desire. A surge of heat flowed instantly through her belly.
Fili descended on her, pressing her against the stone wall, his mouth on hers with hungry force. As she returned the kiss with equal desire, opening her mouth when his tongue swiped across her lower lip, Fili allowed his hands to loosen at her waist and stroke the curve of her hip through her skirts. They had shared moments like this before, their time on the balcony a few night prior still vivid in her memory, but it seemed that each time they met the intensity burned brighter than before.
The couple was so wrapped in their moment that they did not hear the steps of those walking in the corridor behind them, until the passersby moved with heavy footfalls up the stairs.
Lifa abruptly pulled away from Fili, embarrassed to be seen behaving so wantonly with the crown prince in the middle of the hall. Fili did not see concerned, smiling at Lifa and moving to resume the kiss, frowning when she turned her head away from him. Following her line of sight, he turned to see that their witnesses now stood at the top of the stairs.
Lord Brasi and his daughter, Miri, watched the couple with matching haughty glares. Fili raised his chin defiantly and stepped further in front of Lifa to block her from view, challenging the lord to say anything about what he had seen.
Nodding slightly to the prince, Lord Brasi finally turned to leave, his daughter sneering at Lifa before following him to their rooms.
"I'm afraid this complicates things," groaned Fili, taking Lifa's hand to lead her up the stairs.
Lifa did not know how to reply. Lord Brasi was a powerful dwarf, far more powerful than her father. If Fili was worried, she certainly was as well.
Silently, they continued the walk to Gloin's home. Fili did not hesitate to kiss her goodnight, but Lifa could not miss the sadness in his eyes or the furtive glance down the hall he made before telling her goodnight. Fili had assured her that the king would stand by his decision, but his behavior indicated otherwise.
Signi was thankfully asleep when Lifa finally went into her room and undressed for bed. She would deal with her sister in the morning, there were far more pressing matters that had her staring into the darkness and praying for sleep to come.
Thorin was sure that his actions at dinner made it clear that he did not wish to be disturbed. It was not often that the king stormed out of the dining chamber after dwarrowdams before disappearing into his study, but clearly his behavior did not thoroughly illustrate his desire to be alone when a knock sounded on the door of his study. Cursing as he crossed the room, Thorin threw open the door prepared to unleash his wrath on the poor soul who dared to knock.
He had expected to Balin on the other side, or perhaps Dis, either of them ready to berate him for something that he unknowingly done wrong. Or one his nephews there to inform him of their determination to disregard all of his wishes. Fili had made it quite clear that he would refuse Miri, perhaps now Kili had come to announce that he was moving the blasted she-elf into the mountain. Was he even in control anymore?
It was certainly a surprise though, when the door opened to reveal Mikel Wordsmith, standing calmly before him, puffing happily on his pipe. There was something about the dwarf's constant calm demeanor that made Thorin reluctant to turn him away. With a grunt, Thorin stepped away from the door and beckoned for Mikel to join him by his fire.
"How can I help you?" Thorin asked wearily, pouring a glass of wine from the carafe on his desk for Mikel and one for himself. "I must admit, I am not in the mood for conversation tonight."
If his words were rude to the dwarf, Mikel did not make it known, only smiling in thanks and accepting the wine. "Yes, I daresay after that unfortunate display from my daughters, it is no wonder you did not return to dinner. I must apologize on their behalf – I did not raise them to behave so childishly."
"It is no matter," Thorin replied, waving away the apology. "Fili and Kili have had their moments as well despite my efforts to teach them differently. It seems youth is determined to undermine everything instilled by elders."
Mikel chuckled in agreement. "Aye, perhaps you are right there. I must say, you have taught Prince Fili well. He is a fine lad."
Thorin eyed him hesitantly, taking a sip of wine to stall his response. "Has he spoken to you of his intentions?"
"No," answered Mikel, shaking his head. "But he does not need to just yet. I can see how he feels for my daughter, just as easily as I can how she feels for him."
Sighing deeply, Thorin leaned back in his chair and rubbed his aching temples. Why did Fili have to fall in love now of all times? "I asked him not to talk to anyone about his intentions yet," Thorin confessed. He knew that Mikel would understand his concerns without them being voiced. He was a sharp dwarf who approached every situation with reason, even if it concerned his daughters.
"Perhaps that is wise considered the current situation," Mikel said.
The pair remained silent for some time, neither wanting to elaborate on the situation mentioned, yet neither wanting to leave it alone. Mikel continued to puff on his pipe, blowing soft smoke rings across the room, and Thorin watched as the rings grew in size before disappearing near the ceiling. It was calming to sit with Mikel, and the king soon realized that he could not remain angry in his presence. Too bad that was the one trait that Signi did not inherit from him.
"I thought he was much like his father when I first met him," said Mikel suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence. "But now I see that he is much more like you than he initially seems."
Thorin frowned in confusion. "What do you mean? You knew Fliri?"
"Aye," nodded Mikel. "He came to the Iron Hills when Fili was just a babe. I had never seen a dwarf so proud of his son. He was a kind hearted soldier, always quick with a smile and a helping hand. I see those same traits in Fili and I immediately thought he was very much his father's son, just as his brother takes after Lady Dis."
Thorin smiled in agreement. No one could deny that Kili had gained his mother's mischievous streak.
"But the longer I am here, the more I see just how much he has learned from you over the years," Mikel continued.
"How so?"
Mikel took the time to blow another smoke ring before answering. "Fili has gained your courage and selflessness. He has a strong sense of duty and will protect those in his care with his very life if necessary. He may smile more than you, but he has seen just a fraction of the hardship that you have faced. You, Thorin, have a fine heir on your hands. He will be a good king and will serve this kingdom well when the time comes."
Thorin felt himself smiling once more at the dwarf's words. It was true, Fili was a good prince and Thorin was proud to someday pass the crown to him, but he had never credited those skills to himself. The courage and selflessness that Mikel spoke of never came easily to Thorin, especially after their return to Erebor where the Arkenstone continued to pull at his weakened mind.
"He will have my approval, when he finally asks for Lifa's hand, for it has been dutifully earned. Signi's hand, however, I am not sure if I can give you my blessing as easily."
Thorin's eyes shot up to meet Mikel's, his expression bewildered by his words. "I do not know what you mean," he said in a slightly panicked tone. The king suddenly felt like a thick belt was wrapped around his chest, constricting his ability to breathe. "I am not courting your daughter or seeking her affections in any way."
Mikel watched the king panic with a bemused expression. "Why ever not? It is clear that you love her and I am sure with time she will return the sentiment."
Thorin sputtered, trying desperately to formulate a response. Love Signi? Certainly not. He could admit to himself that he found her appearance strangely appealing, particularly in the orange glow of fire light. Her voice was quite lovely, anyone could agree to that, and although their conversations often ended in argument, he found their discussions to be invigorating. But he could not love her, and there was no possible way she would return his affection.
Although she did say that she found him handsome, which to his knowledge, no lass had considered him in such a light…
"Young Thorin Stonehelm has also shown interest in Signi," continued Mikel, oblivious to the waves of emotions passing over Thorin's face. "Although I cannot condone his youthful habits, he has shown much maturity over the past year and could prove to be a sound choice of husband for my Signi. She is quite special, you see, and I am loath to let her go, but I will agree to a marriage to a worthy dwarf."
"Stonehelm is far from being a worthy dwarf," snarled Thorin. Just the mere mention of the whelp sent anger bubbling through the king's chest. He may not be in love with Signi, but he would not allow her to marry such scum.
"Well then, Thorin Oakenshield," said Mikel as he rose from his chair. "I suggest you get started with this courting business. You're not getting any younger after all."
With that he let himself out, leaving Thorin to mull over his words. Had he been so transparent in his behavior? He had tried to treat Signi with indifference, desperate to stop any seeds of attraction before they had a chance to grow, and still he was found out, by her father no less. He would not marry, there was no need to marry at his age, but still Mikel's words replayed in his head. I am not sure I can give you my blessing so easily. And yet, he was willing to give it to Stonehelm? Thorin felt his anger rising again. No, Signi would not marry Stonehelm, no matter how the king would have to stop them.