Mid October
Hermione was quiet as she joined Harry and Ron at breakfast. She wasn't feeling particularly well and chose to simply nibble on some toast with her tea instead of indulging on the other heavy breakfast offerings on the table.
She still wasn't feeling well when she entered the potions classroom.
She got herself situated and ready for class though, just in time for Snape to come in and command all their attention in his normal take no prisoners way.
As he lectured Snape's eyes looked over the students diligently taking notes. His eyes fell to Hermione and he observed that she looked a little pale, too pale, if he wanted to put a fine point on it.
It had been a month since the explosion, with the various potions she had been dosed with after the explosion he became concerned about unforeseen lingering after effects. He decided to hold her after class so he could speak with her.
Hermione read the potion instructions she had copied down carefully, comparing it to the instructions on the blackboard a final time just as she always did before beginning a new potion. Her stomach was swirling and she decided to go and see Madame Pomfrey after class, wondering if she perhaps had a touch of food poisoning.
She got up and went to the supply cupboard to get her ingredients. The cupboard had always had a strong, pungent odor, a mixture of chemicals and dead things, and while not pleasant by any means, Hermione had never been adversely affected by it before. But this time she had barely put her hand on her first ingredient when her stomach rebelled. She clapped her hand over her mouth and ran out of the cupboard.
She continued right out of the classroom and into the dark, cramped stairwell outside the potions classroom. She braced a hand on the cold stone wall and heaved right there in the corner. She vomited until she was sure she had been vomiting for hours. When the vomiting finally stopped and the dry heaves began she started to cry.
It only got worse when his calm voice asked from behind her, "Miss Granger, are you alright?"
Snape had been on the other side of the classroom when Hermione made her flight out. The other students all started snickering and twittering over the event and he restored order with a simple barked, "Silence."
He looked to a Slytherin boy, who did uninspired, but reliable work, and ordered, "See that no one blows themselves up."
Without awaiting a response he strode out of the room.
He did not have to go far as he heard her retching in the hallway, the smell of vomit heavy in the air.
He heard her crying in between rib bruising dry heaves. An ill Hermione he could deal with, a crying one was far out of his league. He pulled a handkerchief out of his frock coat pocket and extended it towards her as he asked not unkindly, "Miss Granger, are you alright?"
Hermione tried to take a calming breath and get her tears under control. She stood straight and let go of the wall. Turning towards Snape she saw the pristine white handkerchief he was offering and took it gratefully. She wiped her mouth and in mortification said, "I'm so sorry, sir."
With a crisp wave of his wand the vomit disappeared and with another, the wretched odor of vomit was replaced with the soothing smell of spearmint.
"How long have you felt ill, Miss Granger?" he asked.
"Just this morning, sir, I was going to go see Madam Pomfrey after class. I thought I might have eaten something bad or have a touch of the flu, or something."
"So not lingering effects from all the potions?"
"I don't…," she started to say and then had to turn back toward the wall and retch again.
She felt so awful and the vomiting was making her dizzy. She didn't realize her legs were giving out until they did.
He saw her wilting and caught her before she fell. Without hesitation he swept her up and headed up the stairs towards the hospital wing. Thankfully the halls were empty with most students being in class at the time. Nor did he care to run into Umbridge and her puritanical indignation. All he cared about was getting her to the healer.
Hermione knew that Snape was carrying her, that he held her firmly but gently and that he was all but running to get her the the hospital wing. She willed herself not to vomit all over him. She would rather die than do that. She still had his handkerchief in one hand and the other was fisted around the edge of his cloak.
She closed her eyes for a moment and realized that the same sense of safety and security she had felt weeks ago when she had first woken up was back. There was not a doubt in her mind that he would take care of her.
Waiting for one of the damned moving staircases to swing back around he allowed himself a brief look down at the young woman he was carrying. She was still so very very pale and her eyes were closed. He saw her hand around his cloak and wondered what he had done to make her trust him so.
The staircase ground into place and he quickly resumed his pace to get her Madame Pomfrey.
"Poppy!" he bellowed as he laid Hermione down on the nearest bed and disentangled her from his cloak.
Madame Pomfrey hurried over, Severus never being one to overreact to a medical need.
He explained calmly what happened and stepped back to allow the healer he trusted most to do her work.
After she ran some basic diagnostic tests, Pomfrey stepped over to Snape and politely asked, "Severus, if you would excuse us? I need to ask Miss Granger some forthright but sensitive questions and require privacy."
"Of course," he said without hesitation and went to the far side of the hospital wing to look out the window, far out of casual earshot of the women's conversation.
Privacy that became a moot point when Hermione's raised voice echoed in the empty hospital ward. "There is NO possible way I am pregnant. I don't care what that spell says."
He didn't hear Pomfrey's response to Hermione's bombshell, but he did hear Hermione's indignant reply in a near hysterical octave, "I'm telling you it's just not possible. Whether you want to believe me or not, I'm a virgin. I'm not lying. There is just no feasible way I am pregnant."
There were things he absolutely did not need to know about her, things that he did not need to be swirling around his brain, things such as the status of her virginity. Or that she was pregnant.
His exceptionally quick mind did put together, however, that the virgin victim, and it never even occurred to him that she was lying about that, of an explosion involving a botched birth control potion was now, by all accounts, randomly, impossibly pregnant. Logically he thought it all through, start to finish- the blast wave of out of control magic hitting him first then her as he tried to shield her, her severe reaction to that magic in the aftermath, and lastly his inexplicable aching testicles after the explosion. His mind was painting a picture he did not like. Nor would anyone else for that matter. He cursed most foully in his mind.
Pomfrey gave Hermione a sleeping draught and something for her stomach and left her dozing on the bed. She approached Snape who was still on the far side of the room, looking out the window.
His entire body was tense, more than usual.
She stood along side him and asked, "I suppose you heard all that?"
"Indeed. I have a theory you are not going to like. I'll share it but first you need to perform a paternitas revelare spell and verify that I am indeed the father of Miss Granger's child."
"Severus! How could you?" Pomfrey exclaimed, completely scandalized.
He turned towards the healer. "Poppy, you have known me most of my life. Do you honestly think I would ever take advantage of a student?"
She sighed and replied, "No. No, you wouldn't. I'm sorry for jumping to that conclusion." She looked in him the eyes for a long moment and made the same connection he did. "You think this has something to do with the explosion."
"I do. But we need the paternitas revelare results to confirm."
"I'll need to get her permission, Severus."
"I will speak to her when she awakens. Let's keep this between us for the moment, Poppy."
Hermione woke to find the hospital wing cast in dim shadows as it was well after ten o'clock at night.
She sat up slowly, her sides ached from vomiting and her mouth was parched and foul tasting.
A calm voice asked from the bedside chair, "Water?"
It was him, and a sense of security enveloped her, the why of it still baffling her.
She nodded and looked towards him. He handed her a glass of cool water with a straw in it. "Small sips," he cautioned.
She did just that and tried to wake herself up a little.
"Here," he said and held out a small leaf to her, "Chew this, it's spearmint. It will get rid of the foul taste in your mouth but not upset your stomach further."
She took it gratefully, willing to do almost anything to be rid of the awful taste in her mouth.
She chewed it slowly, as the events of the day came crashing into her thoughts. She gasped.
Without looking at him she asked quietly, "Did you hear all of that this afternoon?"
"Most," he answered honestly.
"It's not possible. I've never…," she said with a hint of pride and steel in her voice and not shred of embarrassment that her remark was directed towards him.
"I believe you," he replied simply.
She lifted her eyes to his, seeing that he wasn't lying, he did believe her. A wave of relief washed over her that she could not explain, she had no idea why it was so important to her that he of all people believed her about that. She nodded and looked back down at the water glass still in her hands.
He took a breath and offered, "I have working theory, one you will not like, do you wish to hear it?"
She looked up and nodded, "Yes, please, sir."
In calm rational phrases he explained how he believed that the rogue magic in the explosion had been the cause.
When he was done he let her parse it all for a few minutes. She finally asked quietly, "So it was a contraceptive potion they were attempting?"
"Yes."
"And it's possible that it twisted somehow into this?" she asked, not knowing how to phrase the situation.
"Contraceptive and fertility potions typically contain all the same ingredients just combined in a different order to achieve the specific end results. They are delicate, complicated potions and as such require much attention to detail while preparing them."
Hermione snorted. "Well that certainly wasn't the case, she just mixing everything in the cauldron like it was soup."
"Hence why she is not in my NEWT level class," he replied dryly.
She went quiet again, back in her thoughts. He watched her expressions, trying to sort out what he should say next.
She looked up and took a deep breath. "So how do we know for sure?"
"We need to perform two spells, paternitas revelare and virginemstatumia. These will document both the paternity of the child as well as the status of your…," he paused and had to clear his throat before finishing softly, "virginity."
She looked confused for a moment and asked, "Why do we need the status of… oh, I understand. It would prove that the pregnancy was assuredly a result of the explosion and not due to any… inappropriate contact between us."
He swallowed hard at her words. He nodded. "Indeed. It will protect both our reputations, such as they are."
"Will you perform them, sir?"
He shook his head. "No. Madam Pomfrey will need to, with Professor McGonagall as witness. It guarantees that there's no interference from either you or I in the results."
"I understand."
"So may I tell Madame Pomfrey she has your permission?"
"Yes. I think I would like to know for sure on both counts as soon as possible. Because if this has not been caused by the accident then something else has most definitely happened of which I have no memory and quite honestly, that scares me far more than the first option."
He mulled her words for a moment, trying not to see red at the thought of her being the victim of a sexual assault and memory oblivation.
He nodded. He stood and met Pomfrey's gaze from across the room. He gestured to her and she started towards them with Professor McGonagall right behind her.
Pomfrey put the small tray she had been carrying down on the bedside table. Professor McGonagall gave Hermione a little smile of encouragement before looking to Snape sitting beside her and attempting to do the same for him, but he had a stony set to his jaw, giving away no emotion.
"How does this work?" Hermione asked matter-of-factly.
"We'll do the virginemstatumia first. That merely requires a drop of your blood that I then mix with a stabilizing elixir and cast the spell. The color of smoke produced will indicate the status in question. The paternitas revelare will involve a piece of wet parchment being placed over your… womb and then the spell cast upon it. When the parchment dries it will reveal the paternity."
"Are either of these dangerous to me or the pregnancy?" Hermione asked with a little concern in her voice.
"No," came his calm voice from beside her, "aside from the finger prick, there is no pain or danger in either spell."
She nodded and turned towards McGonagall. "Will Professor Snape get in trouble for this if the tests show what we think they will show?"
McGonagall shook her head. "No. The Headmaster has assured me that he will not. It was a magical accident, there is no fault to be placed upon Professor Snape."
She nodded then turned towards Snape, "And if this turns out not to match your explosion hypotheses is there a way to determine if my memory has been altered?"
"Yes."
"And you'll do it yourself?"
His eyes locked on hers, knowing what she was asking him to do. Trusting him to do. He nodded once, giving her her answer.
Hermione turned back towards Pomfrey and lifted her hand offering up her finger for a jab. "Shall get it over with?"
Snape watched her carefully. Hermione appeared to be taking things in stride, but that was the kicker, she only appeared to be handling everything well. She was holding herself together with the logical, fact-loving part of her brain, but underneath it all he could see her fear. It was practically rippling under her skin.
But then again, it was also rippling under his, underneath the expressionless mask he had slipped into place with practiced ease.
She was pregnant, with, most likely, his child. There was very little doubt in his mind that it was his child.
His child, two words he never imagined saying in this lifetime. He was full of emotions he did not know how to deal with, that he didn't how to sort and hide away in the secret corners of his mind to keep them safe from the Dark Lord. It was too big a thing, too much to ever think about hiding. Then he realized that her actually having this child was not a certainty. It wasn't his decision to make. It was her body. Her choice. And she had options, both magical and Muggle.
Pomfrey efficiently stuck Hermione's finger with a clean needle and collected the drop of blood in a small glass beaker. She added ten fat drops of stabilizing elixir and swirled the beaker, mixing them gently. She put it back down on the tray and picked up her wand. She carefully recited the spell's incantation and her wand movements were sure and graceful as she cast the spell.
It only took a moment for the beaker's mixture to start bubbling and a steady stream of snow white smoke billowed out of the beaker.
The three adults knew what it meant but Hermione did not and she asked, "And that means?"
Professor McGonagall answered, "You are still a virgin, Miss Granger."
Hermione let out the breath she had been holding and replied softly, "So most likely no altered memories then?"
Snape answered, "Most likely not." He noted that the possibility of someone toying with her memories seemed to be by far the most distressing to her in this entire debacle. He could understand that fear, her mind was sacrosanct to her, and she would find it more even more distasteful to have her mind violated over her body.
She looked to him and nodded. "Good."
"Are you ready for the second test, dear?" Pomfrey asked gently.
Hermione nodded and laid back down. Snape turned his neck almost completely around like an owl to avert his gaze when Pomfrey had lifted the edge of Hermione's jumper up so she could find skin.
Snape bit back a snort when Hermione complained, "My god, that's cold."
He heard Pomfrey cast the spell and it was Hermione that gave him leave to turn back around, "It's safe to look, sir."
He faced her once again now that she was sitting back up. Pomfrey had the parchment on the tray and was using a gentle drying spell on it to get it to reveal the child's father.
Two large S's appeared first then the rest of the smaller letters filled in to read: Severus Snape.
They all stared at the slip of parchment for a while, no one speaking a word.
He knew her question was coming, but honestly didn't know what to say.
"What do we do now, sir?"
He closed his eyes briefly and inhaled slowly. He held it for a moment and let it out as he opened his eyes and turned to see hers, wide and scared and looking to him for guidance in this utter disaster that their lives had become.
"It is your body, Miss Granger. I will abide by whatever decision you make and support you in it. But it must be your choice."
"But…," she started.
"There are no buts, Miss Granger. Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall will inform you of all your options, both magical and Muggle. If my signature is required, I will immediately provide it."
"But do you want me to keep it? Would you want it? Want to be a father?"
"It is your body and your future. You must make this decision for yourself. My thoughts are irrelevant."
He turned to leave and he had just about gotten to the door when he heard her say, "They're not irrelevant to me."
It had been four days since they had learned of the pregnancy and four days of him avoiding her like the plague not wanting to influence her decision about whether or not to keep her child. Their child, his inner voice corrected ad nauseam.
Hermione knocked gently on his classroom door. At his brusque, "Enter," she opened the door and went inside.
Severus looked up to see the absolute last person he wanted to engage in conversation with standing in front of his desk. He grit his teeth briefly before saying coldly, "Miss Granger."
She was nervous, wringing her fingers tightly in front of her, and trying to pluck up the infamous Gryffindor courage to speak.
When that courage failed her he raised his eyebrow and asked, "What is it, Miss Granger?"
She sniffed, feeling the tears coming. She bit them back and said with another sniff, "Will you please talk to me? This doesn't just affect me. And I don't know what to do."
He closed his eyes briefly and inhaled slowly. He held it for a moment and let it out as he opened his eyes. He gestured with his hand for her to sit in the chair in front of his desk and said rather gently, "Sit."
Snape picked up his wand and casually locked the door then put a muffliato charm on the door to ensure their privacy.
"Thank you," Hermione said quietly.
Snape folded his hands in front of him on the desk. Not unkindly he said, "Miss Granger, the decision of whether or not you carry or terminate this pregnancy has to be your decision. It is your body."
"But it's ours, together, and your opinion matters to me," she replied, making him clench his jaw tightly.
When he didn't reply she asked a question, "Do you have children?"
"No," he hissed out softly.
"Do you want children?"
Again he clenched his jaw for a moment but answered with hint of regret that he couldn't hide, "That ship has long since sailed for me, Miss Granger."
"Not entirely given the circumstances. If I have this baby would you be part of its life? Be a father?"
"And what pray tell, would I have to offer a child? You know what I am, Miss Granger. The things I've done, the things I do," he spat out with a flash of anger and self-loathing.
Her Gryffindor courage roared and she said vehemently, "You are intelligent and hard working, and knowing what I know now, probably one of the bravest men I've ever met. So don't you dare say you have nothing to offer as a father."
He blinked in surprise. No one since Lily had ever defended him so strongly, so singularly. And Hermione had done it without thinking, it wasn't an act she was putting on just for him, her words too sharp and quick to be fake.
When he didn't say anything she asked again, a little steel in her voice, "If I have this baby would you be part of its life? Be a father?"
He wanted to close his eyes and take another calming breath, but she had locked her eyes on his demanding his answer.
"Yes," he breathed out softly, a longing in his voice that they both heard.
Severus was trying to force down a bit of toast and tea at breakfast in the Great Hall the next day. He could see Hermione sitting at the Gryffindor table, she seemed to purposely have her back to the head table. To his eye she seemed tense, but then again he thought wryly to himself, "So are you."
His musings were interrupted by the arrival of the morning mail. A house owl dropped a small wax-sealed note in front of him. He opened it to see painfully precise, familiar penmanship. The note contained one sentence and had no greeting or signature, but there was no doubt as to who it was from.
"I'm keeping it."
The words hit him like a blow to the chest. He closed his eyes briefly and inhaled slowly. He held it for a moment and let it out as he opened his eyes to meet hers across the room.
She was sitting perfectly straight, a proud, stubborn set to her chin. He blinked, trying to will her to look away but she wouldn't. Finally in the end he gave her what she wanted and he nodded once.