And almost fought your father when he pushed me in the yard
And all those nights we snuck out, like to meet up at the bar

Chapter 4

2010

Even if going to Camelot Prep to help out Arthur meant that he had to leave the comprehensive that he went to and all his friends, Merlin couldn't help but enjoy his time there. The arrangement benefited both him and Arthur. For the first time, Merlin felt like he could actually achieve something with his life. His mum hadn't been fully for the idea, worried that she might have to contribute, but that was all part of the arrangement. As long as Merlin helped Arthur to keep his grades up, Uther paid for his tuition.

With the rocky start put behind them, Merlin found himself becoming fast friends with Arthur and was easily accepted into their friendship group. There were a few that had tried to take the mick out of him for being the poor boy in the rich people school and for being pushed up a year, but that all quickly fizzled out once they realised that if they took the mick out of Merlin, they had Arthur, Morgana and half the football team. He might have been the youngest in the group but no one ever treated him that way.

Once it was out that he knew Arthur and Morgana, he jumped in popularity and was invited to every party that Arthur and Morgana were invited to. He could have had his pick of any girl that he wanted but he still wanted only one. He was still madly in love with Morgana and he was more than certain that she didn't like him in that way.

Why would she like him in that way?

Merlin had been to the Pendragon mansion a number of times. He had to go there to help Arthur with his homework if he didn't come to the coffee shop. He had never slept over though and the thought was enough to make him rather nervous. He had only seen Uther a handful of times as well.

But Arthur had it all okayed and he told Merlin to stop being a wuss.

It didn't help that, that night was a lot of first for Merlin. It wasn't his first party, but it was the first time he had drunk alcohol and definitely didn't know his limit. It also so happened to be the first time that his kissed Morgana. It was a night that he wished that he could remember all of the details and it annoyed him still that he had got as drunk as he did. But then again, he might not have actually had the courage to join in the game of spin the bottle.

He was dragged into the game by some girl that he knew had a crush on him. He was certain that she had sent him a valentine card for the last three years. He was sat down with a small group of people, with most of the girls being from his 'fan club'. It was Arthur that noticed how every time a group of certain girls saw Merlin, they couldn't help but say hello to him and run off giggling. It probably didn't help that Merlin always felt so awkward around people that he didn't know well. That probably didn't help things.

Morgana joined the game just before the first person spun the bottle. There were quite a few people in the circle that weren't particularly happy that she had joined. All Merlin knew was that when it was his turn, he really wanted the bottle to land on her as the first person kissed the person that their spin landed on. Merlin was certain that drunken courage was a thing as it reached him. He watched the bottle spin in anticipation to who it would land on.

There was no dispute that it landed square on Morgana. He could tell that there were a lot of disappointed people. He could only gulp as she stood up to walk over to him.

"Come on then Merlin. Show me what you got."

He wasn't certain what he should do. He didn't know whether he should have stood up like her or just remain where he was. It was confusing enough without the person that he had a crush on for the last three years walking over to him to kiss him. He was glad that he didn't move as she straddled his lap and cupped his face.

Kissing Morgana was exactly how he expected it to be and his mind finally caught up with him as he wrapped his arms around her to bring her closer to him. He wanted to let her know that if she wanted this that he did too. There was a moment when she pulled back and looked down at him. He didn't know whether that was the moment that she saw him more than her brother's friend or not.

She was the one to stand up and tell them that she hadn't enough of the game and grab his hand to move him away. He had no idea where they were going but he hoped that he would remember only that part of the night.

2011

It was from that night that Merlin decided that he would only drink in moderation. Almost being sick on an expensive rug in the Pendragon mansion was enough to put anyone off drinking for a lifetime. Arthur hadn't helped by telling him in the morning that it was a one of a kind rug and more money than Merlin ever hoped to have.

It did have it's perks as well. It meant that there was always one person who was sober enough to make sure that they got back to the Pendragon mansion fine. If he was old enough, he probably would have been the designated driver.

He enjoyed the parties that they were invited to. It was the only time that he felt like he could be more himself with Morgana other than when they would go out on dates alone. They always felt like someone was watching them. Merlin was probably the last person that Uther would want to go out with Morgana but he knew personally that she'd had worse boyfriends than him. He could safely admit to himself and his mum that he loved her.

It was a rare night when Uther was at the Pendragon mansion that things started to go wrong.

Arthur had given Gwen a piggyback and they had set off ahead while Merlin and Morgana were slowly walking, taking in the night. He knew that Morgana was in her happy place of being drunk. He could have a proper conversation with her but she would tell him every five minutes that she loved him. It made him crave more what Arthur and Gwen had. Uther didn't understand how serious Arthur's relationship with Gwen was. He just thought it was some fling. They could at least be more themselves around him. Merlin had to settle with stolen glances.

Thinking that with Arthur and Gwen going off ahead of them, Merlin was surprised to see them stumbling around with Arthur's keys, trying to find the right one to put into the door. And maybe if they had just tried the door, Uther would never have stormed out when Morgana pulled Merlin round to kiss him. It was more than strange to be pulled from kissing someone but even more so when it was their dad.

Merlin fell to the floor and he just about registered Uther telling Morgana to get inside as he stood up. It was strange to see that side of Uther and part of Merlin was worried when Uther shouted at him never to go near his daughter again because Merlin wasn't worthy of her. Gwen must have taken Morgana inside because Merlin was certain that she didn't see him push Uther when he started to bad mouth about his dad. Merlin had never had the fortune to met his dad, that was if he was still alive. Arthur stopped it from going any further, even in his drunken state and started to push his dad back inside. Uther shouted that he was never welcomed to the Pendragon mansion again.

Merlin had calmed down when Arthur came back outside and told him that he has calmed his father down and was going to make sure that he could still attend Camelot Prep without his mum having to pay a penny. He just couldn't allow Merlin to come in now. Merlin told him that he understood and that he had a key to the flat above the coffee shop. They could meet there for a hangover cure. Arthur's hand on Merlin's shoulder was meant to be comforting but he knew that this was going to change things. Arthur didn't know how Morgana's relationship with Uther was breaking down and if Merlin wanted to pinpoint an event that was the start of everything that happened, he would choose this point.

There was a slight importance to find somewhere else to go to after parties. With Merlin's house being quite central, his small house would house them for a night. It did also mean that they could be more together. Arthur and Gwen would take the spare room while Morgana would share Merlin's single bed. His mum was more than happy to allow them to stay and Merlin could only imagine that she was happy for their sleep arrangements once he introduced Morgana as his girlfriend when they first met.

It did make it easier for their first time together. Morgana had waited for his sixteenth birthday before she brought up the subject again. Sex had been mentioned during their first months together but Merlin had told her that he didn't feel ready. She was happy to wait for him to be ready. He just wished that she would have waited for him later.

It was one of these particular nights, the night of 12th March 2011, that Morgana first mentioned about running away. It had been just over a month since the incident with Uther and even if she hadn't said anything, Merlin could tell that her hatred towards Uther had grown. He had told her that she was off to university soon and that she would be out of Uther's clutches. It was the reason why she had chosen the University of Essex. It was far away enough that she would have to stay but close enough so he could visit.

He should have known that she was planning something when she told him that she had decided to put university off until next year. She told him it was because she wanted another year with him and so that when he went to university, he would only be one year behind her.

He could of and probably should have told her a number of things that night and for some reason he settled with telling her that she can't stay for him. She has to live her life. Her own stubbornness told him that she could do it and that she was going to.

If Merlin was being honest with himself, he saw all the signs. He should have known that she was going to do what she did. He just didn't know how to stop it.