Author's note: Thank you ever so much to TheMidnightShadow, RaCHyyTheMaskedWarrior, Haalyle, Guest and Kawaii! Your awesome, encouraging comments mean more to me than you can imagine! And thank you to everyone who has stopped by and kindly read this story. I really appreciate it!
Replies:
TheMidnightShadow - Thank you! ^_^ I'm so glad that you're liking Silver because I find that he's a bit of a difficult character to get right - I don't want him to be a complete romantic, but pretty fluffy, all the same xD I really hope you enjoy it!
RaCHyyTheMaskedWarrior - Ah, Shadilver is adorable! It's my first M/M fic and I'm absolutely loving it! Thank you! :D
Haalyle - Thank you so much - that means so much, coming from you! :'3
Guest - It makes me really happy to hear that, thank you! I'm aiming for chapters to be released every month...*fingers crossed because I will undoubtedly fail to live up to this promise*
Kawaii - You bet I'm writing another chapter! :D I couldn't leave poor Silver all heartbroken, at the end, there! Aww, thank you! That so lovely to say! :')
I'm exploding with anticipation for some adorable, awkward interactions between Shadow and Silver - I intend to stuff this story full of them, as much as I can - but there's too much fun to be had with lovesick-Silver, at the moment. I'm cruel because I love you, Silver ;)
I'd love to know what you think of the chapters, and I'm very interested to know where you think this will go (I might not even know myself, at the moment!), so please let me know! Review if you want me to save Silver from love-struck-sighing himself to death xD
"And stood by the rose-wreathed gate. Alas,
We loved, sir—used to meet:
How sad and bad and mad it was—
But then, how it was sweet!"
— Confessions, Robert Browning
2. In My Dream of an Absolution
"This has gone on for far too long."
Silver says nothing, letting his legs dangle over the edge of the three-storey building. His eyes of liquid gold lock onto the apartment window, with the electric 'R' buzzing underneath, even though the power has been switched off. A soda can sits next to him, half-drunk, and it rattles in the light breeze.
"You didn't tell me that this was what you had in mind," Still with no response, she silently fumes and strides dangerously-close to the drop. Silver gives her a quick glance, now alert, but eases up when she sits down, beside him, "It's unhealthy. I'm worried."
"I'm okay. Honestly."
Blaze turns her gaze away and bows her head, ever so slightly, but Silver picks up on her disappointment, expressed in those simple movements, "No, you're not. You've been all over the place. Silver, I can't..." She frowns, losing her thought, or perhaps she's decided against saying it out loud. Blaze analyses him, with the sun blaring down on their backs, on a freakishly hot Autumn's day, "You look pale. You'll pass out, at this rate."
"I'm fine."
"I can't even begin to imagine what you think can be gained from this."
The grey hedgehog sighs, instantly feeling the guilt wash over him. It isn't fair that he's putting Blaze through this, when she's done nothing but stuck by him. Conflicted, and overcome by sudden loneliness, Silver places his hand upon hers. She seems surprised, as she straightens a little, but masks it well. He shakes his head, despondent, "I don't know what else there is. We were fighting so hard, for so long, for a peaceful future — nothing else mattered. And now it's here, and...I don't even know what to do with it. I put everything I had into fighting Iblis, but now it's gone, and I don't have anything left."
"We can rebuild ourselves. There's a future out there, Silver, and it exists because of us. We just need to adapt it, make it work, embrace the things we want from life," He's transfixed by what she's saying, amazed at how easy it all sounds. But then Blaze looks upset and pulls away, "But it's as if you don't want to try — if that's true, then I can't help but wonder what the point of it all was. Why did we bother changing things, if you just want to live in the past?"
Of course, Blaze is utterly correct — she always is, "I really wish I could be happy with it, Blaze, I really do. But it can't give me what I want."
"How can that be true? You didn't give it a chance. We spent no more than a few months there, before you begged me to help you return to the past. You said that there was something you needed, that you couldn't find anywhere else. I didn't think too much about it, but I didn't expect this. Why did you come back here, of all places? I don't understand it. This place holds terrible memories, when we were at our worst. What can you possibly remember, that was good, here?"
Silver leans forward, resting his arms on his thighs, as he peeks over the building's edge. Meanwhile, Blaze has gotten up and is rigidly pacing behind him, as she speaks. He keeps his eyes on the road below, a bone-shattering drop away, but can feel her frustrated glare, digging into his back.
"...That's what I'm trying to find out."
He hates lying to her. He's always hated lying to anyone, really, but doing it to Blaze makes his stomach particularly uneasy. It makes his face go hot and creates a need for him to bunch something up, in his fists. With nothing to hand, Silver settles for wringing his hands together, in a painful grip.
The sigh that comes from the feline can only be described as disappointed. In a quick flurry of panic, he wonders if she knows that he isn't telling the truth — but he manages to stifle his fear. If that were true, Blaze wouldn't waste any time: she'd demand an instantaneous explanation.
"I don't understand you, Silver," It isn't said in malice. He can hear the weak exasperation, mixed with a light attempt at humour.
A sad smile flickers on his lips, "Me neither."
Then, suddenly, a door slams, in the street below. Silver jumps and raises his head; a brief look passes between Blaze and himself, before they curiously stare in the direction of the noise. The hedgehog scrambles to his feet, vaguely worried by the wobbly feeling in his legs, whilst being so close to the edge. He runs his eyes along the opposite pavement.
Oh, Iblis. Silver can feel himself falling in love, all over again. The sensation is something of a habit, because it's just so easy to do. One glance at ebony quills, at the gorgeous sweep of red all over the body, at the blazing eyes — Silver is slipping away, absolutely senseless, and embraces it, willingly. By the Flames, I can't...!
"Who is that?"
Reality bites at his heels, yanking Silver out of his dreamy state. He blinks, trying to compute what Blaze has just said, "S-Sorry?"
"Him. The black hedgehog," She tilts her head at the silence. Intrigue brands her features, upon seeing Silver's shell-shocked expression, "You know him. Who is he?"
"You don't remember him?"
Blaze straightens up, as her sight turns back to the ebony hedgehog. Silver's heart aches, as he stares too, only just listening to the soft lilt of her response, "I don't believe so. I presume he's from the Soleanna events? Another fragmented piece of our strange memories. If so, then you must have met him while I was separated from you: I don't recognise him."
"Yeah," Silver pretends to think back, as if the memories are difficult to recall. In truth, he's replayed those events in his head, over and over again, for a long time now — he's acutely aware of every detail, "You're right. He came with me, even further into the past, to find out what happened during the Solaris Project, ten years ago. I oversaw the sealing of Iblis — he dealt with Mephiles."
"His likeness to Mephiles is startling. Are you sure that they do not share any other qualities?"
He blinks, a little taken aback by her accusation, "No, not in the slightest. He absolutely despised Mephiles. He...he was the one to bring me to my senses."
Blaze doesn't look convinced, but picks up on the rising tension, and lets the matter drop, "Do you remember his name?"
It's been printed on my mind, ever since I met him. It's not a word, not anymore — it's my lifeline.
"...Shadow." A shiver ripples through him.
Either Silver utters the name too loudly, or Shadow has incredibly fine-tuned hearing — the black hedgehog stiffens and snaps his head upwards, with narrowed eyes. Air is momentarily absent from his body, as Silver tosses his arm out, in front of Blaze, and ushers her backwards. He breathes a sigh of relief, when he's satisfied that Shadow can't possibly see them, from down there.
Blaze places a hand on her hip, sourly, and Silver can't help but think that it isn't a patch on Shadow's death glare. Then he feels guilty, "He doesn't remember anything, does he?"She frowns and waits for his confirmation.
"I don't think so," Something about his defeated tone makes her relent. Blaze drops her hand to her side, "From what I can tell, you and I are the only ones who kept the memories. Even the others, who were involved, remember nothing."
"You should remember that I didn't have the memories, either. Not instantly. You helped me to access them — somehow, you were the one who remembered everything," She glances away, briefly lost in thought, and then studies him, with astute, golden eyes, "Have you tracked down these others, to verify that they have no memory of it?"
"Well, I...not exactly..."
"You haven't? Then what have you been doing, all this time?" Silver glances down at his boots, ashamed, but his eyes wander. Blaze follows their direction, glaring, "Shadow? What about him? Why is he so important?"
"Look, it's not— " He turns, and focuses, feeling as though the ground has been ripped out, from underneath him. The grey hedgehog sprints to the ledge, hanging over it, searching for the ebony hedgehog, "Where did he go?"
Without waiting for Blaze to join him, Silver leaps off and plummets down, swept up in wind and gravity. Inches away from hitting concrete, he throws his hands out and activates his powers, thankful for the familiar embrace of their teal glow. They relinquish their hold and he is softly dropped to his feet. His mind is racing.
Shadow hasn't just disappeared from view — he's vanished from the area, entirely. Left with only silence and the faint smell of smoke, Silver lets his shoulders sink, in dismay, as he stares up at the face of Club Rouge. The neon-red letters are quiet, apart from that pesky 'R', which feels like a landmark, directing him towards Shadow's apartment window.
"Silver..." Blaze calls him over, in a grave tone. He instantly whips round, approaching as he does so. Her lean figure is crouched, lingering close to the road, and intently examining the tarmac. He bends down next to her, with his eyes widening at the scorch marks, "He must have made these tracks. We can follow them. But how—?"
"Hover-skates," Silver stares, wistfully, towards the grubby outskirts of the city. Something about this feels wrong. He's been tailing Shadow, for a couple of days, trying to get a better grasp of his personality: he can be spontaneous, but only when necessary. This departure feels urgent, like an emergency.
The time traveller darts forward and jumps — he lets his powers rip, enveloping his body, once more. Luckily, they are at full capacity, as there hasn't been much need for them, today. He just hopes that they will last long enough and that Shadow hasn't decided to travel to the other side of the planet.
Surging with anticipation, Silver flies off at break-neck speed, knowing that Blaze won't be able to chase after him, as is his intention. He's already put her through enough. This risk is his entirely own.
Silver stealthily picks his way through the robot's remains. Carnage is spread before him and he can only imagine that a huge struggle ensued, between the machines and their target: Shadow left no survivors. But Silver is selfishly grateful, because it makes tracking him down a lot easier, and he doesn't need any other distractions.
Determining Shadow's destination hadn't been too difficult, either. Even with his limited knowledge of the area, Silver had quickly worked out that the ebony hedgehog was heading towards a relatively-new lair of Doctor Eggman's, that had popped up in the last few days, a few hundred miles west of Club Rouge and Station Square. Shadow must have received some kind of message about Eggman's activities, Silver figures, and set out to put an end to them. The psychokinetic's heart swells with a strange emotion.
The heavy, metal door before him has been blasted open. Silver pauses in the doorway, briefly shocked by the sheer power that was required to destroy it, but presses on. It shouldn't surprise him — he's seen what Shadow can do, at full power. Still, there is something about the flaking sheets of aluminium — tarnished and crinkled by burns — that make him tense.
Following the corridor's path, he is forced to trek through yet more robotic devastation. Stray arms and snapped cables are littered across the floor, accompanied by an occasional circuit board, or the odd leg — Silver takes no pleasure from it. It seems awfully overkill. Even the security cameras have been torn from their holders, fading in the wreckage.
Eventually, Silver pursues the trail into the heart of the lair. Stepping through another set of doors, he reaches a platform, with the control room directly below. He grips the radioactive-yellow railings, before swinging himself over and landing in a crouch. His powers aren't even needed, this time.
He doesn't like being here. There is something too military about it, too mechanical — his unease grows by the second. The silence is the worst part; he hates the quiet.
And where is Shadow? Optimistically, Silver spots the widescreen computer monitors, on the left-hand wall, briefly wondering if he can hack into them, to access the footage of the remaining cameras. But the technology is foreign to him, or maybe just outdated, and he doesn't even know where to begin.
Clink.
His ears prick up. Someone is behind him. Silver turns, but his eyes haven't even adjusted, when something punches him in the jaw, with a sickening crack.
"Argh—!" Sparkling pain. He presses a hand against his bruised skin, knocked back by the sheer momentum. With a wince, he looks up and braces himself, in case of another attack. The beat of his heart slows, "Wait, what the—?"
"Who sent you?" Shadow ignores Silver's pained reaction, as he swiftly slams another fist into his stomach, and then swipes his leg out, knocking the grey hedgehog off his feet.
The question falls on deaf ears. Silver's head is ringing and the room is fading out of focus. Limply, he rests on the floor, praying that Shadow will pause, just to hear him out. Instead, the ebony hedgehog strides forward and yanks him up by the arm.
"You made a grave mistake in following me."
"Please, just—!" The beg for mercy is cut off, as he's tossed across the room. The grated metal floor bites into his skin. Silver hisses, cradling his now-wounded shoulder, "Shadow, stop!"
"...How do you know my name?" Shadow is knocked off-guard, for a moment, but impatience creeps in, and Silver can hear the clatter of skates approaching. He manages to prop himself up, with his good arm, before gazing into roaring, crimson eyes, "Who are you?"
Stunned, Silver doesn't resist as Shadow grips his chest and pulls him upright. Spaced-out breaths escape from his lips, hitting the other's tanned skin. His heart rate is through the roof. The distance between them is so tantalizingly small.
Maybe the blows have knocked the sense out of him, because Silver knows that he shouldn't be thinking about things like that, at a time like this. But, for months, his affection has been exhaustingly long-distance, and being so close to Shadow feels like pure heaven. The pain is dull, in comparison.
When Shadow lets go, and watches as he roughly crashes against the floor, anguish quickly blossoms in Silver's features. There is a pause between them, as he wonders if he will be attacked again and as Shadow calculates the risk of letting his guard down. An eternity seems to pass.
"Answer me."
The tone is so...cold. It chills him straight to the bone. Repeating in his head, like a mantra, that they've technically never met, so it's not an irrational reaction, Silver stifles his upset, "I can't, it's..."
Shadow folds his arms, by way of communication: I don't care, answer the damn question.
Why is this all going so horribly wrong? He doesn't want their reunion to be like this! With such tension, such distrust, such...hate.
Silver has dreamed about this moment for so long, ever since he'd worked out how to return to the past. In every waking moment, he'd been planning what he would say, trying the words out and how they felt on his tongue, picturing the black and red hedgehog's response. Sometimes, Shadow would remember him — Silver explains this away with 'love at first sight' and 'soul mates' and all the other things that Blaze refuses to believe in — and the outcome is gloriously simple, as if they've known each other all of their lives. Other times, Shadow doesn't know who he is, but stares at him in a way that makes Silver melt.
He's never envisaged that it would turn out like this.
"I'm wasting my time here..." And then Shadow is walking away, evidently angered, with gripped fists and rigid shoulders. Silver leaps up, stumbling with his disobedient, injured limbs, as he desperately tries to assemble his balance.
"Shadow!"
Please, not again!
Silver takes the tense, unmoving limbs to mean that Shadow is listening. The black hedgehog shows no sign of turning around, to look at him, and the couple of yards that stretch between them feel awful, considering their previous close proximity. But Shadow is giving him a chance, just like before — he's not going to waste it again.
"I need you to hear me out, listen to me and trust me, while I explain what's going on." Determinedly, he clenches his fists.
Shadow glances to his right, processing the conditions, before he shifts back, "Explain what?"
"Well, I— "
Bricks rain down on them.
Silver throws his hands up, protecting his eyes and head, but listens to the low grunt that comes from Shadow, amid the clattering of bricks smashing against the floor. The psychokinetic hedgehog dashes forward, trying to get out of the line of fire, but wildly searching for black and red quills.
He skids to a halt, staring up at ten-feet of programmed violence and pain. Caterpillar tyres churn around, attached to the robot's base, and the great hulk of metal slides closer. Its stretched, rectangular head surveys the area, moving with a noise that sounds like someone rubbing their palms together. In the place where eyes should be, two red dots blink, as its claw-shaped hands fold in on themselves, swapping for machine guns.
"LIFEFORM DETECTED. NAME: SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG."
Silver glances left. Shadow is just oh-so-painfully out of his reach, with folded arms and an unamused expression.
"Stay out of the way."
Is he talking to Silver?
He must be, because he suddenly shoots off — faster than the eye can see — and hurls himself at the machine's torso. But the spindash is reflected, by the robot's backhand, sending Shadow spinning towards the wall. Just before impact, the skates land, legs bend, and he pushes off, using the momentum to go even faster, though it seems impossible.
Shadow grabs onto a raised panel, in the robot's armour, just as he flies past. With the briefest of grips, the ebony hedgehog glows red and delivers a barrage of punches to the metal surface — punch after punch after punch after punch after punch. He yells out, repeatedly, with the force of his hits.
Transfixed, Silver watches, as Shadow charges up his Chaos energy, shimmering and sparking, ready to smash it to pieces. Already, there is a gaping hole in the enemy's back, leading straight to its core.
But, somehow, Shadow has lost his hold, and the robot lashes out; vulnerable, he is smacked down, denting the ground and rolling onto his back, with a wounded groan.
"Shadow!"
The machine approaches his fallen figure, reloading its bullets.
He's been told not to get involved. This is definitely a bad idea. But he's already in too deep and he isn't going to stand here and watch Shadow get hurt.
Silver concentrates his power on the fallen figure, wearing a small smile, when it is surrounded by turquoise. He moves his hand to the left, just as bullets rain down on that singular spot.
Shadow softly grunts, as Silver places him back down. The psychokinetic hedgehog looks up, staring into dead, unblinking eyes, encased in metal.
"LIFE FORM DETECTED. NO DATA HAS BEEN SUBMITTED."
Golden eyes dart downwards, swelling with concern, before he leaps into the air — his powers propel him forward, to the other side of the control room. Attempting to track his movements, the robot bumbles about in reverse, turning itself around and facing Silver.
Silver quickly scans the room for something to throw: barrels, crates, anything will do. How can there be such a distinct lack of things, here? Everything appears to be bolted down; he doesn't want to level the whole place, while they're still inside.
'I need something to throw!' Silver thinks, panicking.
The grey hedgehog takes off, sprinting around the perimeter of the room, focusing his mind on the enemy, with an outstretched hand. It's surrounded by a bubble of psychokinesis, but he somehow just can't manipulate his abilities into telekinesis — the machine is too strong and remains firmly on the ground.
"Why is nothing working?!" He looks up and digs his heels into the ground. Silver's boots screech, as they slide against metal, and he stops.
Shadow is now standing, with folded arms, as if his skull hasn't been smashed against a wall, "It appears that the Doctor's inventions are hardier than I anticipated." He fixes his stare on the large Eggman-insignia, on the robot's left shoulder, and Silver wonders how he missed it.
"What can we do?" His heart lifts, when Shadow considers his question, somewhat amiably.
"Our combined abilities will be enough to destroy it."
"...Okay. Let's do this."
Shadow nods, letting his stare linger — Silver's heart thuds against his chest, unhealthily fast — before he blasts off towards the end wall. The time traveller holds his hand up, about to yell out, because how will they know what to do, if they don't discuss it? But Shadow pushes himself off from the ground, as if it's a springboard, curling into a tight ball, and Silver knows what he has to do.
He focuses his energy around Shadow's form, and hurls the ebony hedgehog into the robot. He breaks a little, as the sickening crack sounds across the room, and the enemy crumples backwards. As soon as Shadow lands, the process repeats until they've pushed it back, into the wall.
"Hold it!" Shadow barks, skating towards it. Silver does as he's told, concentrating on limbs that strain against his psychokinesis, to the point where he's shaking and a headache has formed. Silver listens to the grunts and clanging of metal, as Shadow rains down with Chaos attacks, willing himself to last just a little bit longer.
Dots have formed in his vision, by the time the robot is slumping and defenceless, with exposed wires.
Shadow leaps back to Silver, breathing heavily. The grey hedgehog is doubled over, with his hands pressing into his knees, and doesn't have enough energy to look up into the crimson eyes, which are tinted with curious concern, "Are you able to perform one last hit?"
"...Yeah. I can."
Apparently, their in-tune thoughts have been broken, because Shadow feels the need to explain, "If you can throw me, I can perform a Chaos Blast and destroy it."
"...O-Okay..." Silver straightens up, drawing out a long sigh. How has this weakened him so much? It doesn't make sense. But one last hit — he can do this, "I'm ready."
Silver closes his eyes, finding comfort in escaping the glaring lights of the lair, and raises his hand. The edge of his mind stings, as his powers flex: Shadow is in the air, he can feel it. With a flick of Silver's wrist, Shadow flies towards his target and begins to charge up. The grey hedgehog claps a hand to his forehead, with his head throbbing.
When the Chaos Blast explodes outwards, the ground shakes. Unsteady, Silver tips over and lands on his back, staring up at the ceiling.
"MOVE!" That's Shadow's voice, and it sounds like he's yelling at Silver.
Golden eyes watch the metal limb sail through the air, before it lands and smacks him unconscious. His dreams consist of crimson and midnight.
Speeshulartz has drawn some AMAZING Fanart for the scene where Shadow fights Silver and I strongly urge you to check it out, because it took my breath away! More details and links can be found on my profile, but here's the link directly to the art (with spaces added)!
Who Sent You? by Speeshulartz ( speeshularts. tumblr post/ 163155677235/ w-h-o-s-e-n-t-y-o-u-i-wanted-to-draw-a)