You guys are glad that I was productive yesterday...

But you're the one that I want, if that's really so wrong
Then they don't know what this feeling is like

Chapter 16

If there was anyone that was going to find out first, it was going to be Arthur or Gwen who caught on to what they were doing. It wasn't like they were meeting up often as well.

"Look, Merlin, we are sort of happy that you and Morgana are sort of back together but really? Is it a good idea?" Arthur said.

"Arthur, do you not think I have asked myself that question a thousand times already? The problem is I always come back to the same answer. No, it isn't a good idea and no it shouldn't be happening. It is actually the last thing that we should be doing. But then I ask myself do I regret it? Every time I meet up with Morgana, do I regret it? And the answer is no. There was something about that night and it just reignited something in us. I don't regret it one bit and I won't ever regret it."

"This is a dangerous game that you are playing. It was only a couple of months ago that Morgana was asking me to keep you safe from him."

"I know that if Alvarr finds out, he will more than likely murder me. I know I am not the person to be in the middle of an affair but… you know that I love her Arthur. I don't think I will ever stop loving her."

"I am just looking out for you mate."

"I know but it is like what you and Gwen have. Uther doesn't want you together but you continue to be together."

Merlin knew that it wasn't the same. He also knew that Arthur would never understand. He just saw the fall out that this affair would cause. Merlin had spent enough time trying to live in the future. For the moment, he was going to try and live in the present and see how it worked out.

It would have been bad if Morgana had just walked into by herself but it was worse when she walked in with Alvarr just behind her. Merlin could tell that he wasn't going to play nice by the smile on his face. He knew why Morgana had chosen this coffee shop out of the number that lined their little high street.

Merlin took a deep breath before he turned to them and smiled. He knew that even if Gaius knew that he hated Alvarr, Gaius would still insist on giving him the first-rate customer service that they strived themselves on and would be angry if he gave them anything less than that.

"What you used to have Morgana?" He said.

"There is no other coffee shop that can make it like you can."

"That is how we like things. Anything for you Alvarr?"

Merlin knew that he had to write down the extremely complicated order that Alvarr was giving him. Again it was for his benefit.

"Are you sure you want it that sweet?" Merlin asked.

"Of course."

He found himself nodding, not really knowing what else to do. "Having in or taking away?"

"Having in?" Alvarr said.

Merlin looked at Morgana knowing that she was going to say take it away. He started to make their order as Morgana turned to Alvarr.

"Taking it away would be easier. We still have lots more to do."

"I think we can spare five minutes."

"But..."

"We are having it in," Alvarr said harshly.

"Why don't you go and sit down while the sofas are still free? I will bring it over to you." Merlin said.

He didn't like how Alvarr had grabbed Morgana's wrist or how harshly he had said his last sentence. He had to think about the other customers. He finished the drinks and took them over just as Gaius entered the shop. Merlin let out a sigh of relief as he got back behind the counter. He could let Gaius deal with Alvarr once he complained. After all, Gaius was the co-owner.

For Merlin at least, it wasn't all about the sex for him. He enjoyed just having someone that he could show affection to again. He knew that as they laid on the sofa, watching TV, fully clothed.

"Is Alvarr like that a lot?"

"It is part of him having all of the control. He is a control freak."

"I know what you are going to say but it isn't like you not to have all of the control."

"It is hard not to want to fight back. I ran from Uther and his control over me to run into Alvarr's arms it seems." She paused. "And maybe it is why this does mean so much to me. I know that you will give me the control that you don't want."

"I never asked. Did you find the answers that you went looking for?"

"Slightly. Basically, Uther is my biological father but my mother was married to someone else at the time. I am technically Arthur's half-sister but that is by the buy. He will always be my brother. My mum had one night with Uther and ended up falling pregnant with me. As soon as Uther found out about me, he took my mum to court to gain custody of me. I don't really remember all this I was only five when I was marched from my home to the Pendragon mansion. Uther had slandered my parent's name so badly that the courts handed me over. Money talks apparently."

"I know that. I know what it is like to be hostage to Uther."

"What do you mean?"

"There is a reason why I can be fired and rehired on the spot within a week or so. It isn't Arthur, it is because Uther is reminded that I owe him."

"You owe him? Owe him what?"

"Who do you think paid for Freya's cancer treatment?"