Finally posting the penultimate chapter. I mean this has been going on for a little too long... And I have sort of had one of those weeks where either you want to scream or you just end up sighing all the time. It has been a weird week even if a lot but not a lot has happened... if you get what I mean.

I couldn't keep you,
But I'll keep my word

Chapter 25

Merlin blinked a couple of times as he finished waking up. He couldn't tell whether he was groggy from the sleep or the drugs that were being pumped into his system. He started to organise his thoughts. He knew that this was the calmness before everyone would be jumping on him for some sort of explanation, plus a police statement as to what was happening.

He turned his head to see Morgana asleep in the chair by his bedside. He hoped that she hadn't been there long as he knew how much the plastic chairs hurt to sleep in. He knew that the moment that she woke up, she would want an explanation and she deserved one most.

He should let someone know that he was awake but he wanted this moment of calm.

Watching someone wake up is never like it is in a film. But to Merlin, Morgana still looked beautiful as she groaned and rubbed her hands over her face to wipe away the sleep. He could tell that she was still half asleep as she looked around remembering where she was before she saw him.

"Merlin." She breathed.

It took a little while still for her mind to catch up with her eyes and he just about managed to stop her from launching herself on top of him. The last thing he needed was for her to make worse whatever had happened to him. He could only remember a few details.

"I have been so worried." She said as she sat on the bed and cupped his cheek.

"I can guess."

"I suppose we have to thank that Alvarr's men couldn't even shoot straight."

"The gun?! Of course."

"The bullet hit your shoulder, luckily missing your lungs, but I believe you lost a lot of blood and you had to go into to surgery." Morgana paused for a moment. "I am sorry I can tell you more. It's been a weird day and I wasn't really listening to Gaius when he was explaining."

"I would think that it would have been a weird couple of days."

"Merlin, it has been a weird few months. Maybe even a weird few years."

"How do you mean?"

"You've just woken up. I should get someone."

He grabbed her hand before she could walk away from him.

"Morgana. I am fine for the moment. I need… There is something that I need to explain to you."

"And I want to know Merlin. Honestly, I want to know but I have just found out that Morgause is an undercover cop who has been investigating into Alvarr's activities and I have been used to try and find out the details that Cenred wouldn't give her. I may now be given all this police protection and their gratitude because of what I have done but…"

"I know."

She looked up at him. "What?"

"I knew that Morgause was an undercover officer. When you ran away, Uther hired a private investigator. He knew that if you were found then he would need to find someone to bring you back home. It all sort of spiralled after that. Uther asked me whether I would go and persuade you to come home. He paid for me to have driving lessons and had a car ready for me for when you were found. Obviously, it took the PI a while to find you. I was told not to tell Arthur about it. Uther knew that he would find it excessive.

"The debt that I owe Uther for Freya's treatment is more or less paid. I don't owe Uther any money and I don't owe Uther anything. The PI found you but didn't tell Uther your location due to the fact that, by that point, Morgause had started her plan. I bugged the PI so much that I was brought into this scheme to try and protect you. Morgause told me everything that was happening and that she could only protect you so much. That is why she sent you to London. She wanted you to be safe and she thought that would happen if we were around you. Uther was only brought in because we needed a way to coax Alvarr into what we wanted him to do.

"It was the reason why Alvarr knew I was your ex-boyfriend. I had told him. Morgause realised that he was planning something big and it would be better off if he was in London. That is why he turned up unannounced. I had got him down to London. I just never realised that he would get me involved in the drugs but it worked out. I had devices strapped to me so that the police could track my every move when I was dealing. I was showing them how big Alvarr's operation was. The only problem with that was that we probably also made him fast forward his plans. I am sorry that I put you in that danger."

She blinked at him a couple of times. "Were we real?"

He pushed himself up so he could sit up and be on the same eye line as her. His left shoulder screamed at him in pain and it almost made him collapse back down. He cupped her cheek with his right and made sure that she was looking at him before he said anything.

"Of course we were real. My actions, emotions and feelings towards you always have and always will be real. It will be the only thing that I can't fake. I can't fake not being in love with you."

"And Freya?"

"I loved Freya. I still love Freya but it will never be on the same level that I love you. This is going to sound wrong but I would have settled for Freya. I would have married her and been happy with her. I would have been faithful to her even if you had turned up. When you messaged me all those months ago, I had a feeling that you were coming back. Arthur text me and then Morgause. But deep down, I didn't know whether I wanted you to return. I… I didn't want to fall in love with you all over again while Freya was still in the picture."

"And the only reason I jumped at the chance when Morgause suggested it was because I was coming back to you. I wasn't coming home for Arthur or Gwen, as nice as it has been to see them again. I wasn't returning home because Morgause or even Alvarr suggested it. I wanted you, Merlin. I should have spoken to you all those years ago when I ran away."

Silence fell between them and Merlin didn't know how to fill it. He wanted to say something to her. He wanted to say something that would magically make everything better.

"What happens now?"

"The end of the investigation and probably a trail. Between us, that will be up to you. I would understand."

"Is there any point stopping what we had started? We might as well try and make it work this time."

"I couldn't agree more."