Title: Shang Versus Sauron

Premise: Mulan, Lord of the Rings. In a clash between the armies of Ancient China and Mordor, Shang meets the Lord of Darkness himself, Sauron.

Date Posted: 10/08/13

Personal Comments: For some reason, I've been getting into Mulan, particularly the mountain battle scene and Shan Yu and his music. Might even watch Mulan 2. I've listened to the Mulan soundtrack while doing homework. I remember on YouTube in one video, someone said that the huns are like orcs, and I wanted to reply saying that Shan Yu was like The Witch King. And then somehow I got the idea of Sauron trying to take over China.

I certainly would have liked to see Sauron fight more in the movie outside of the prologue. I saw in a behind-the-scenes thing that Jackson had one idea to have Sauron appear at the Black Gate battle and fight Aragorn. That would have been cool. Still, Sauron's gotta be a freaking powerhouse with that big suit of armor, and that mace that can strike explosive blows that can blow armies away.

I also would like to see a battle between Sauron and Voldemort. Many geeks have already come up with such an idea. Been watching a lot of Voldemort's goofy moments in the movies, moments that became memes, such as his famous "Harry Potter is Dead! Eh he he!" And I've seen this one Robot Chicken sketch that makes fun of his nose.

You know, today's the day Alpha and Omega 2 comes out. I was once a big fan of Alpha and Omega. It's actually the first franchise I read about and wrote about on this site. Too busy with college right now though to get back into it. Like I said before, time keeps going by, and all my favorite fandoms are moving forward while I'm being left behind. Sad face. My Little Pony, Walking Dead, Naruto, Attack on Titan (and a couple other animes I haven't seen, but friends have recommended for me), Legend of Korra, Nostalgia Critic, and now A&O.

The streets of the imperial city rang with battle cries, the clangs of swords and armor, captains shouting orders civilians screaming as they either ran for cover or were cut down. Fires crackled and lit the streets as buildings burned to the ground.

Orcs continued to hack down the soldiers of the emperor's armies. The warriors fought back valiantly, but they could not last much longer.

Sauron strode through the streets passed all his fellow orc minions with a calm demeanor and mace in hand, the One Ring of Power hugging his finger.

Despite that currently the armies seemed matched, Sauron knew there was no hope for this land called China. Victory would find him soon enough. The thought of expanding and conquering always filled him with such a rush and thrill, as did the thought of battle, a chance to display his power.

As he calmy marched towards the chinease forces in a more heated area.

He felt a few arrows pelt against his armor, but they bounced off of him as he barely felt a thing. He began to come onto a platoon of troops just finishing hacking down a group of orcs. They all turned their heads towards the metallic giant. A look of pure terror on their faces flashed, but soon diminished as they let out mighty battle cries, their looks turning to anger and determination as they charged at the monster, prepared to die for their beloved country.

Yes, yes, Sauron thought. Prepare your hind quarters!

He raised his mace, and gave a low mighty sweep across the area around his legs, before his arm swung back, giving a mighty upper thrust. With this thrust, he struck one soldier. In a flash of purple thunder, half of the platoon was blown away.

Another step forward, a spin, and Sauron brought his mace down on the ground.

BANG! Another flash of violet flame surrounded him as the remaining garrison was sent careening into the buildings and side walks, smashing concrete and splintering wood.

Sauron stood up again. Another fight easily won. Almost too easily. In just three blows, the entire platoon of twenty men had been obliterated by his might.

He heard a hissing sound in his left ear that was becoming louder and louder every passing half-second. He turned his head towards the sound before being smashed square in the head. The projectile exploded on impact. To Sauron, it felt like merely a strong punch.

Before he could move again, he felt a a hard pain in his back. He realized someone had stabbed him. He felt his attacker's hands on his back. The hands moved with precise and swift movements as they climbed over his shoulders, then feet, until the attacker jumped down before the dark lord.

It was a man in his 30s. He whipped out a second sword and held it at the ready.

After a moment of groaning from the sword in his back, Sauron simply flexed his fingers around his mace's handle, and the sword was spat out from his back, as though pushed by a magnet.

Sauron then cracked his neck as the man before him held still.

"Keep firing!" The man shouted.

Sauron looked to see four men- no, three men and a woman. Fire more of the canons at him from the building.

Before the flaming projectiles reached him. Sauron concentrated for a moment on the dark magic within him. He hugged his mace close. As the cannon balls were about to reach him, a force-field of dark violet energy shielded him. The explosions bounced off harmlessly.

Before another round could approach, the dark lord approached the man before him.

The man rolled forward with a surprising speed and agility, and slashed at the dark lord's legs, but Sauron simply turned his mace downward, and the sword's blade was parried by the handle.

Sauron raised his mace to bring it down. The man rolled to the side, dodging the heavy blow that cracked the road.

The soldier tried to strike at the dark lord's legs, but Sauron performed a sweeping dance swinging his mace in a 720 degree circle. One single blow smashed against the man's chest, sending him flying off into a flaming house.

Sauron turned to the cannon squad, preparing to deal with them, but he saw that a group of orcs were already upon them. Excellent. He could deal with the captain.

Crack moment. Idea that came to me earlier when my acting teacher sang this song in class today. Song got stuck in my head:

He heard some screeching, and could tell that his Nazguls have arrived. He turned to face them.

To his surprise, they were all standing in a chorus line, holding their swords like canes, and started dancing in sync as though they were in a broadway play.

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
My, oh my what a wonderful day!
Plenty of sunshine heading my way
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay

"What are you doing?" Sauron demanded.

"Forgive us, master," replied The Witch King, Murazor. "We were practicing."

"Get back to the slaughter!" Sauron barked.

"Yes, my lord," Murazor nodded. "Of course. As you wish."

Just as they headed off, Bonejangles (Corpse Bride) popped up. "Hey fellas! We practicing or what?"