prompt: pregnancy

summary: non-massacre. sakura is pregnant. itachi has things under control…probably.

"Nii-san, what are you doing?" Sasuke approaches Itachi in the kitchen, who seems to be making some sort of stir fry. He wrinkles his nose, refraining from saying anything about it looking bland and unappetizing. His brother has never been a bad cook, but the fact that this looks unappealing must mean that…

"Sakura said that she's hungry," Itachi replies noncommittally, not looking at Sasuke.

"It's one in the morning."

"…Yes, well, women. Pregnant women."

Sasuke nods solemnly.

Sakura is due soon, from what Sasuke remembers. Ever since she announced her pregnancy, his mother insisted that she live with them in the compound so they can keep a closer eye on her—and of course, get used to the environment because that's how it's going to be once she and Itachi get married, which will probably be a few months after the baby is born. (The thought still makes Sasuke nauseous, as does anything that has to do with his brother being intimate.)

"Do you mind?" Itachi nods to the kettle of boiling water, and the empty cup that is waiting to be filled with tea. Wordlessly, Sasuke goes over and prepares the tea for Sakura.

Their entire family's diet has changed since Sakura moved in. Sasuke didn't even know that so much care had to be given to pregnant women—it seems like anything could harm the baby while it's still in the womb. Whenever Itachi was busy on missions, Sasuke's had to accompany Sakura everywhere to do menial jobs, like carrying her things, shopping for healthy foods, keeping her away from coffee or alcohol—one time, he neglected the job for just one evening, and the next day, when Itachi found out that Sakura had one glass of champagne, Sasuke walked with a limp for a week.

Itachi the shinobi is scary, but Itachi the almost-father is even scarier.

"Make sure she drinks slowly," he warns Sasuke as he takes the tea to bring to Sakura.

"She knows how to drink her own tea," he mutters under his breath, ducking his head when a knife is tossed his way, piercing the wall.

—

"I'm going to kill your fiancé," Sasuke tells Sakura the next morning over breakfast.

"My fiancé is your brother," she reminds him, drinking her orange juice and frowning. He knows she would much rather have coffee.

"I'm still going to kill him."

Sakura pushes her eggs around her plate. She's sick of the same food day after day, but Itachi is relentless when it comes to her health. "You would think that he'd trust me to know what I have to do to take care of myself, since I'm the medic," she mutters, "but it's like he has me on a leash."

"When you first told him you were pregnant, he went out and bought a whole stack of books on pregnancy."

"He might as well be the pregnant one!"

"Don't get agitated," Sasuke warns her, feeling nervous. "It'll cause stress on the baby."

"You might as well be the pregnant one too! Why are you two more concerned about me being pregnant than I am? I'm the one who's growing the tiny human inside of me; leave me alone so I can do it in peace!"

It's not like Sasuke wants to be concerned about Sakura. It's just that if he's not, Itachi's going to find a hundred different ways to make him target practice.

"Just calm down. Please."

"Get me some coffee and I'll calm down," Sakura grumbles, as she usually does about once a week.

"I can't."

"I want some damn caffeine."

"I can't, Sakura."

Clearly irritated (as she always is when she's denied caffeine), she pushes her chair back and waddles around the kitchen in search for some coffee, even though she knows there's none. Sasuke sighs. He cannot wait until the baby is born.

Itachi wanders into the kitchen not long after, having slept in later than usual because of the meal he prepared for Sakura last night. Sasuke sighs in relief, because that means his job as Sakura's babysitter is over for the time being.

"Good morning," Itachi says to Sakura (completely ignoring Sasuke in the process), leaning down and kissing the top of her head. Sakura is facing the cupboard where the coffee used to be, her hands gripping the countertop. "Sakura?" She doesn't answer him, and Sasuke frowns, looking at her—

"Nii-san," he says, feeling faint. Itachi ignores him. "Nii-san."

"There's still supposed to be a week." Sakura's voice is high-pitched, almost shrill.

"What are you talking about?" Itachi pats down her hair.

"Nii-san!" Sasuke shouts, and Itachi turns around to glare at him.

"What."

"Her water broke."

Itachi looks down, and sees the puddle on the floor that he had clearly missed when he entered the kitchen.

"…It's a week early," he echoes Sakura. Sasuke rolls his eyes.

"You get her in a chair, I'll call Mother." But as he turns to leave the kitchen, both Itachi and Sakura are frozen at the counter. "Did you hear me? Nii-san."

Despite all of the preparations that Itachi had gone through and rehearsed in the past several weeks, he's clearly hopeless when it comes to the actual thing. Sasuke sighs huffily in irritation as he shoves his brother aside, helping Sakura into a chair just in time for the first contraction. She groans in pain, bending over and clutching her large belly.

"I'll only be a minute," Sasuke says to Itachi. "Can you handle her?" Itachi looks paler than he usually is, and his movements are strained as he wets a towel with warm water for Sakura's forehead.

For God's sake. Itachi is useless.

Needless to say, getting Mikoto, helping Sakura to the hospital, dressing her in a hospital gown, holding her hand and telling her to push—all of that is done by Sasuke.

(Not that anyone is ever going to thank him, or even know the pain he's gone through for this baby to be born.)

—

Life is much more peaceful in the following weeks, because Itachi is protective to the point where he won't even let Sasuke touch their child. A girl with red hair (co-dominance in hair alleles or something, Sakura had said in passing) called Megumi, named after Sakura's grandmother.

Well, not that Sasuke minds. With the stress he's been put through for the entire nine months of Sakura's pregnancy, he wouldn't care if he's not allowed to even look at Megumi for the next five years.

(It still disgruntles him that he's now an uncle. Of one of his best friend's child. It's disgusting to think about.)

"Sasuke?" Sakura pokes her head into his room, Megumi in her arms. "Are you busy right now?"

"Not really," he says, looking up from his book. "Why?"

"Could you watch her for a while?" She strides into his room, her full mobility restored now that she's not a walking globe, and shoves Megumi into his arms. "I'm having lunch with Ino."

"But—" Sasuke sputters. "Nii-san will kill me."

"He's also on a mission and won't know."

"I don't know how to take care of babies."

"Yeah, right. I know Itachi made you read all of those books he bought too. Her nap time is soon, so I don't think it'll be too difficult. Okay?"

Sasuke stares down at the tiny human in his arms, warm and soft and delicate. Her eyes are as black as night—she'll have the Sharingan for sure. Despite himself, pride swells in his stomach, and a minuscule smile graces his lips.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" Sakura says in appreciation. "Thanks a bunch for this, Sasuke!" She pecks him on the cheek and skips out the room before he can tell her no.

He looks down at Megumi who's staring at at him with large, beady eyes. Only a brief moment passes before she opens her mouth and starts wailing.

Sasuke quietly accepts the fact that his torture is never going to end.

A/N: Inspired by my psychology textbook!

It's been a year since I last updated this fic (which I'm terribly sorry for), so I'm going to implement a change. This is the second time that I've lost my prompts since I started this drabble collection, so from now on, no more prompts! Just drabbles. Meaning that the numbers of the prompts up until now are completely meaningless.

Hopefully, I can get this story back up and running again. I've missed ItaSaku! :D