Chapter Three: The Park, The Sam Talk, and The Art Smock
Donna POV
I think I have to stop going out with Josh. Well going out isn't necessarily what we're doing. We're staying in. And cooking. And watching movies. And talking. And sex. And more talking. Oh my god, there's so much talking. In the best ways. And I have to end it.
It's been going on for two months now and right about now is when the wheels start coming off in most relationships with me. I like Josh. I like Josh a lot. I may be falling for Josh. And that is a very, very bad idea.
Know what's also a very bad idea? Meeting his children.
Josh asked if I wanted to come over on a night that is not Tuesdays and Thursdays and every other weekend. Which means he wants me to meet at the least one of his children. I don't even remember what I said. I might have even said yes. I blacked out in a panic. Hence me calling Ginger and a few of our other friends to get drunk tonight.
We've been out for an hour and we've done a lot of dancing and I've avoided several men trying to grind on me. One, I wasn't attracted to most of them. Two, it'd feel wrong. Like I was cheating. Even though I have never including dancing with men cheating before now. Never even thought twice about it.
I head back to the bar. Ginger's friend, Meg, had brought an edible which has really started to hit me. I haven't eaten an edible since my two years in college but tonight I decided what the hell?
It's not just Josh.
It's everything.
I hate my apartment. My roommate broke my favorite mug and didn't tell me. My boss at the club is a misogynist (no duh). I had to work several doubles at the nursing home this week because there are two nurses out sick. I haven't even seen Josh that much. I miss him. He's fun. Much more fun than all of this.
I walk outside to call him but I get his voicemail.
"Hellooooo, Joshua. It's Donnatella. Did you know *hiccup* that that's myy full naaame?" I pause. "Sooo I made Gi-Ginger get me drunk- and other things you are tooooo nerdy to know about. That sounds bad. Nothing bad. And I don't like haaaaving fun without you anymore. I think. That's a problem. This is a veryyyy bad… situamation." I sit down on the sidewalk, not caring about the dirt. "Joshshshsh, Joshshshshshshsshshshshshsh. Ha. That's funny. Because you talk a lot. Jo- Sh." I laugh at my own joke. "Anyways, I know you're with your tiny ones. And by the wayyy, what were you thinking? I can't meet th-them. It'd be bad! Josh! It'd be bad!" I sigh. "I'm going to go now. Goodbye." I stare at the phone for a minute before hanging up. I don't feel like going back outside yet so I sit there and look at photos on my phone of the two of us. I showed Josh how to use instagram filters. His teenagers were not as impressed he thought they'd be, he'd reported back to me.
We are a cute couple. I don't know how this is going to end but it'll probably be like a fiery avalanche. Damn. I'm poetic in my drunk/high state.
Josh POV
It's Friday night and it's my weekend with Bert, Peter, and Warren. Hogan is at her mom's til tomorrow and Hillary asked if she could have a sleepover with her and CJ. So right now I am having a boys' night.
I'm teaching Warren how to play chess. He's very into it but very, very bad at it. I love my son but he's destined to be a geek. What? Chess is a cool man's game. I would know.
I'm also trying to keep Bert and Peter from arguing. They've been acting out a little this week by refusing to share with one another and being generally demanding of myself, Joey, and Kenny. According to Kenny who has a degree in psychology, it's because of the new baby being due soon.
Anyways, my point is that I have my hands full when I get a call at 8:30pm from Donna. I heard it ring but I was trying to put Peter to bed and knew I'd get it later. I didn't know at the time it was from Donna so it took me a minute before I actually listened to the voicemail.
She's absolutely smashed. It is only eight forty five. This is not good. I can hear loud music come through every once in a while, as if the door to the bar she's at is opening and closing. Dammit, she's outside, wasted, on some sidewalk alone. I call her back, panicking a little.
"Helllllooooooooo!"
"Donna."
"Oh, that's a dad voice. Woah. Is it weird that it's kind of hot?"
"Donna!" I squeak a little perhaps.
"Whaaaaaat?"
"Are you alone?"
"Kinda?"
"What does that mean?"
"There's a couple making out like ten feet away."
"Jesus. Okay. Um. I-I…" I'm trying to figure out a plan because I want to just go get her because she is way passed the point of being able to make decisions. A horrible thought passes through my head about some guy finding her like that. But I also can't leave my kids. And I can't exactly pack them into the minivan to go pick up my wasted twenty something year old girlfriend. Joey and Mandy would kill me. "Can you go back inside and wait in the women's restroom for me? I'm gonna send someone to come and get you, okay? Just-just wait for me to call you."
"You're cute."
"So are you. Now go. Stay on the phone with me."
"OOOOooookay." There's a lot of scuffling around and then I can tell as she steps into the club/bar/wherever the hell because the sound is insane.
"Dad. Dad. Dad." Bert is pulling on my shirt.
"Hey buddy. What's up?" I turn to him.
"The movie is done. Can I watch another?"
"No. You have to go to sleep soon." I'm trying to listen for Donna as well as take care of Bert. It's a juggling act. "Warren, can you do one of the puzzles with Bert while I deal with something?"
"Yeah! Come on!"
"Ugggh, no!" Bert complains. I give him the look and he goes reluctantly with his brother. I finally hear a change in volume over the phone so I assume this means that she's in the bathroom now.
"Josh?" She asks.
"Yeah? You ok?"
"You're very sweet."
"Okay. Just tell me where you're at."
"The bathroom. Like you said." I pinch the bridge of my nose.
"I mean like the bar."
"Ohhhhh, you should have said that. It's called Park. But it's spelled funny."
"Okay… just stay where you are til I call you."
"Alrighty." She agrees. I stay on the line a second longer then hang up. I immediately dial Sam. I'm pretty sure he's currently on a date. Welp, time to call the best friend card.
"Hey, what's up?" Sam answers.
"Sam, I need you to do something for me. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."
"What's wrong? Are the kids okay?"
"Yeah. They're fine. Peter and Bert have this whole thing- never mind. Not the time. Listen, I need you to go get Donna for me. She's like absolutely plastered at some bar and I don't know where her friends are but she seems all alone and I just- can you?"
"Uh, well, I've never met her before but yeah, of course."
"Okay, thank you. You're the best. She's at some bar or something called Park but spelled funny? I don't know, that's all the info I have."
"Oh… Parque- I know where that is. Yeah… Josh, that's not the best part of town. It's good she called you." My stomach drops.
"Just be quick. I'll call her and tell her that you're coming."
"Okay, I'm on my way out the door. I'll text you when I'm there."
I hang up and call Donna.
"Hello there."
"Hi… My friend Sam is going to come get you."
"Oh! The infamous Sam!"
"The one and only." I say dryly, feeling anxious still.
"Why is he coming to get me?"
"Because you're smackered and alone in a bar and you scare me."
"Hmmmmmm… Okay, that's okay."
Donna and I keep talking for the next seven minutes. I'm keeping an eye on Bert and Warren, who seem to be getting increasingly annoyed and enthusiastic respectively. I'm checking my phone constantly looking for a text from Sam.
"Oh, thank god. Okay, hey, Donna, Sam is there."
"Okay! Bye."
"No, wait-" I try to get her to stop but she hangs up. I text Sam a picture of her and tell him that's who he's looking for and that she should be coming out of the bathroom right now to meet him. He sends me a thumbs up. Which is just ambivalent enough to annoy me.
I pace a little as I wait for Sam to give me an update. It's almost twenty minutes past Bert's bedtime. Joey is going to kill me. My phone vibrates and it's a text from Sam, we're in the car, headed to your place. Might want to make sure kids are in bed- it's a fifteen minute drive.
I tell Bert that it's time for bed and he's so fed up with doing the puzzle with Warren that he doesn't fight me too much on it. I manage to get him in pjs, brush his teeth, read him two stories, get him water, and tuck him in in record time. Which is fifteen minutes.
"Hey, Warren, why don't you go back to your room?"
"Oh, why?" WHY did I teach them to always ask questions?
"Because I have a grown up thing. Just stay in there for tonight, bud. I'll see you in the morning." As I finish my sentence, there's a knock on the door.
"Who's that?"
"Warren."
"Fine, fine. Bed." He says dejectedly and retreats. I have a twinge of dad guilt before going to get the door.
"Jooooooosh." She's propped up on Sam, looking a little worse for wear. Don't get me wrong, still stunning and way out of my league. But one glance and you'd know she's far past inebriated.
"Thanks, Sam." I tell him and he walks in with Donna. I close the door and then shift Donna over to me. "I'll, uh, be right back out." Sam has his we need to talk face on. Uh. Oh.
I maneuver Donna over to my room.
"Are we going to sleep?"
"Yeah, you are. You have to wait for me to get you some water though." I lay her on the bed, propped up on the pillows in hopes she won't pass out before I can get back with water. I'm turning back to walk out and get it when I hear her quietly.
"I'm sorry, Josh. I know you probably hate this. I'm not, ya know." I turn back to her in surprise. She looks a little miserable. I walk back over to her and give her a little kiss.
"I don't hate this. I like taking care of you, okay?" She nods but doesn't look so sure. I figure I should get her that water though before taking care of her emotional stuff.
I walk to the kitchen where Sam is waiting.
"Hey, one second. I've gotta get her water."
"Good call." I can hear the little bit of judgement in his voice. I'm not going to like this conversation. Getting Donna to drink the water is no easy task but not even that puts off this conversation with Sam for long.
"So…" I start. "Warren is still awake so we should probably keep our voices down."
"Yeah…" He says, looking hesitant. Good.
"Sam, I'm really grateful that you did what you did."
"It's not a problem. I know you… care about her."
"Yeah, Sam. I really do."
"Josh, she's young and she's a party girl and… what are you doing? You have kids! You have two teen daughters!"
"They haven't met."
"Yeah, I know! Donna told me about that. She's freaked out because you asked her to meet them!"
"I just- god. Sam! You accidentally slept with a prostitute!" I accuse.
"That was ten years ago! And I don't have kids!"
"Listen, you don't know her. She's not usually like this."
"You don't know what she's usually like! You've been dating for two months."
"Sam, I know her, okay?"
"Do you?" He gives me a knowing look.
"Have you been talking with CJ?"
"Yes! Look, it's not us going behind your back. I just… remember when you and Mandy divorced and you yelled at me for not warning you? CJ and I both wanted to but we didn't feel like it was our place. And yeah, CJ told me that she's guarded with you. You don't really know her. Do you know what you're doing?"
"Sam, she's not Mandy. And she's not Amy or CJ or Joey or Alex. I just… Sam, I'm falling for her. And I think if you met her not like this you'd see why."
Sam looks at me as though trying to see through me. Then he smiles a little and nods.
"Alright, well I'll have to meet her sometime."
"Thanks again, Sam."
"Of course, buddy."
We hug and then he goes on his merry way. I check on Warren before heading back to the bedroom. I'm exhausted from all of this. But there's something right about seeing her in my bed.
Donna POV
My head is throbbing and my stomach is rolling but I can't help but notice how comfortable my bed feels. That's weird. Normally my mattress if soft in all the wrong places with the spirals starting to poke through. It's also noticeably warmer despite it being November and my apartment having shitty insulation.
Wait.
This isn't adding up.
I should probably open my eyes.
I really would rather not. My head feels like it'll split in two if I do so.
Okay, let's go over what we know.
Last night, I finished my shift at the facility. I came home tired. There was a voicemail from Josh. He said he was thinking about me and to call him tomorrow when I got the chance. I remember panicking and calling Ginger. I remember Ginger, Meg, Rina, and Bonnie coming over. Meg had a pot brownie. Jesus. What was I thinking? I'm going to be a sloth all day! Damn. Anyways. We all went to a club. There was dancing. There were men. One rather persistent one. There was lots of drinking. I think I left with some man with beautiful eyes.
Oh, god. What if I went home with that guy? What if I cheated on Josh? I've never cheated before and I finally am with someone I really like that is genuinely decent and I might have…
I feel overwhelmed at this possibility and open my eyes. I immediately calm down. I must have called Josh. I have no recollection of this. Oh, god. That's probably embarrassing. Wait, he couldn't have picked me up. Wasn't he with his kids? Oh, shit. Are his kids here? Did they see me? Who was the guy with beautiful eyes? I'm going to throw up.
I rush to the bathroom in his bedroom and spill my guts.
I realize then that I'm wearing one of his t-shirts. My heart does a flutter-y thing that makes me more nauseous but still a little happy. God, he's a good guy. Why is he interested in me? These questions are too big for the tornado going on in my head and stomach.
I don't hear Josh come in but I feel him kneel next to me and rub my back with one hand, pulling my hair out of my face with the other.
"Nooooo." I groan, unable to look at him. I don't have to throw up anymore but getting up sounds difficult so I lean into him.
"What?" He kisses the top of my head. It's so simple and affectionate and intimate that I'm shocked when tears start coming out of my eyes. "Are you alright?" His voice sounds panicky at the sight of my tears.
"You're too sweet." I groan, stating the obvious.
"That's why you're crying?"
"Among other things, yes."
"What other things?"
"I'm embarrassed and my head hurts."
"You don't have to be embarrassed." I finally look up at him and he seems to be telling the truth. If I hadn't just been puking my guts out, I'd absolutely make out with him right now. I settle for laying my head back on him.
"Did I say anything embarrassing last night?" I ask him.
"I don't think so. Well, I don't know what you said to Sam…"
"Excuse me, who?" I know who he's talking about but I've never met Sam.
"Uh, I couldn't come pick you up because the boys are here so I asked Sam to get you."
"Does he have blue eyes?"
"Uh, yeah?"
"Oh. Okay…"
"You checking out Sam?" He jokes.
"I was drunk." I shrug.
"Yes. Yes, you were." He's smiling a little which makes me think I definitely did something embarrassing.
"What are you smiling at?" I ask him.
"Hm? Nothing." He's grinning. The dimples are out. I sit up and turn to face him, looking at him suspiciously.
"Josh."
"Yes?"
"What did I do?"
"Nothing… Just you woke up in the middle of the night and woke me up too because you had something very important to tell me." I bite one lip in anxiety. Can he get to the point please? I give him a look saying just that. "You just wanted me to know that you were going to break up with me…"
"Oh my god, Josh, I-" I start blushing and my stomach turns, feeling terrible. His grin should have clued me into the fact that I did not break up with him.
"Sh. Let me finish." I glare at him a little because he's having too much fun with this. "Then you said you'd decided not to and I should remind you in the morning. Because you like me too much."
Now I see why he's grinning.
"You're an ass."
"Yeah but you really, really, really like me."
I do.
I am so screwed.
Josh POV
I didn't tell her that she did not, in fact, only say that she liked me. She told me she loved me. I don't want to freak her out because I'm not convinced sober Donna has come to terms with it drunk, sleepy Donna had me feeling happier than I have in a long time.
"Psssst." There's some kind of buzzing in my ear that wakes me up. "Josh, are you awake?"
"No." I groan, wrapping my arm around Donna's waist. She laughs.
"Yes, you are. You've stopped snoring." I open my eyes to see her smiling at me. She's so beautiful. "Good morning."
"What time is it?"
"Three."
"What! Donna, why are you awake? Why am I awake?"
"Because! I need to tell you something that sober me never will."
"Oh, okay." I flop onto back and prop myself up a little. "What's up?"
"I was going to break up with you." My stomach just dropped. What the hell is happening right now? Am I about to get broken up with by a half-drunk woman in my bed at three in the morning? "Well, ghost you. Which is shitty, I know. But the thing is… I don't want to do that. And you should remind me in the morning."
"Come again?"
"I like you. A lot. And that's scary. And I don't think that I've ever liked someone this much. In fact, I might love you and that sucks for me." She pouts and looks adorable but I'm in a bit of shock. "Your face has frozen in an odd way."
"Unattractively?" I quip immediately.
"Nope." She smiles. "Josh?"
"Yeah?"
"Whatcha thinkin'?"
"I think I love you too." I admit, wondering if there's any way she'll remember.
"Okay, I'm going to sleep now." I finally smile. She cuddles closer to me and I wrap my arms around her. I kiss her head and close my eyes.
"Josh?"
"Yeah? Sorry. I was… thinking about something. We should probably get off the bathroom floor now." I stand up and reach down to help her up. "There's ibuprofen on the nightstand. I've got to make lunch now… you can come out when you're ready."
"Josh!"
"Yeah?"
"Your kids are here?" She whispers. Her eyes are all big and she looks scared.
"Just Warren. Bert and Peter were picked up this morning for Kenny's birthday. You'll be fine."
"I can't meet him!"
"You technically did."
"Last night? Oh my god!"
"No, the hospital. Technically you've met everyone already." I smirk at her a little. She purses her lips and walks away and into the bedroom. I hug her from behind. "Donna, it's fine. He's twelve years old, a dork, and will think nothing other than you're pretty."
"And your ex-wife?"
"Well… I made a deal with him."
"What?!" She turns around.
"It's nothing! It's a necessity when it comes to Mandy. There are some things she can't know." I shudder and think about Halloween 2013.
"No! That's not what's going to happen now. I don't want to be hidden away from your wives while your kids are in the middle!"
"Okay, woah! One, ex-wives. Two, I'm not hiding you. Three, where is this coming from?! If it wouldn't freak you out, I'd have you meet everyone already." Okay, probably should have kept that to myself. She goes from looking pissed and defensive to shocked to what I can only describe as sad.
"Josh…" She says quietly. She slouches on my bed. "You're a great guy but…"
"Don't do this. You said you weren't going to do this."
"I was drunk, Josh. I was drunk and you were taking care of me because you're a decent guy and you're the most decent person I've met in my life and of course, drunk me just wanted to stay with you but Josh, you have to see that this can't work out well."
"Do you love me?" I'm not great with filters.
"What?" Her eyes are as big as saucers but I can't help it.
"Donnatella, you told me you might love me. I'm telling you right now that I love you and I want you a part of my life. And I know that it's scary and crazy and overwhelming because I have crazy, scary ex-wives and overwhelming kids but Donna, I love you and I think you love me too." I don't know why I said all that. I don't know what I'll do if she runs away at this point. There's a long silence where we're both just looking at each other, trying to figure each other out.
"Josh, it's not that your life is scary and overwhelming. It's my life that… It's me that doesn't fit with all of this." She sounds sad and I want to comfort her but more so I want to convince her that she's wrong.
"I don't think that's true. I get it, you're young and you're a party girl and whatever and I know how guarded you are with me but despite all that, I see you. I see that you're compassionate and you're fun and you're sweet. I see that you're scared and hurt. And this isn't me wanting to fix you. This is me just wanting you." I'm not usually this effusive. I don't think I've been this emotionally open and passionate about anyone before Donna.
"... How would this work?"
"You get dressed and come meet Warren. We eat lunch and then later I call my ex-wives and tell them that you want to meet them."
"What!?"
"You have to meet them. Sorry. They're not as scary as they look. Well, CJ and Joey. But trust me, they'll love you. You have to meet them because after that, we can do whatever we want. You don't only have to come over every other weekend and Tuesdays and Thursdays when you're not working. We'll be able to see each other more, you'll see more of my life. It'll be good."
"Okay."
"Because if you think about- wait, what? Really?" I'm feeling the grin creep up on me but I try to push it down until I get confirmation.
"I love you." Well now I don't know if the grin will ever go away. I pull her against me and kiss the hell out of her. We're both a little breathless when we pull away.
"I love you too." I tell her and her smile is worth all of this.
Donna POV
I've lost count of the times that I have changed my outfit. I am out of my mind with nerves. Why?
Well, somehow I fell in love with a man with three ex-wives! And now I'm going to a painting class with them. Apparently, there's wine involved. I've been told this is a tradition of their's. Once a month, the kids go to Josh's on a Wednesday night and the three of them get together for girl time. Which I am now intruding on.
It's been a week since Josh and I said 'I love you' and it's driving me a little crazy. When I'm with him, it's a great feeling. I've only ever done the whole love thing once before and that didn't turn out so well. It's a whole new level intimacy that I didn't think I was ready for but needed.
But the days when we aren't together… those days I freak out a bit. There are still so many things that could go wrong! He still doesn't know what either of my jobs are. He has never seen the inside of this apartment. He hasn't met any of my friends. Not for lack of them trying of course. Meg and Ginger are chomping at the bit to meet him. I'm not so sure Josh is ready for all of that.
And as much as I keep at arm's length with him, I'm getting better with opening up to him. Mainly because of how happy he gets every time I do. I've told him more about my mother and I told him stories about high school. I told him about how I ran over my neighbor's cat when I was sixteen and cried for days and refused to drive for months. I told him about moving to New York City for six months after college and leaving after I woke up to a rat in my bed.
He told me more stories about his ex-wives. How he and CJ were virgins when they decided to say screw it, we can't graduate college as virgins. Hence, Hogan. How Mandy and CJ used to fight constantly until Mandy got pregnant with the twins and chilled out a little. A little. Not much. He told me about the look on Joey's face when she first met Kenny and how it first cut like a knife but he knew Joey and Kenny would never do anything about their feelings. Which is why when Kenny tried to quit Josh told Joey that he knew, that he wasn't upset, and that he was okay with her and Kenny. Joey had fought him on it at first but she got sad without Kenny around- even with Peter around as a new baby. Josh pushed her on it and eventually just brought home divorce papers and she'd cried but agreed. I was kind of amazed by Josh. I asked him if he'd been in love with Joey. He said that he thought so at the time but after watching Kenny and after meeting me, he didn't think so now.
He also told me about his sister and his dad who passed away. That night we had slow, gentle, caring sex while whispering that we loved each other. That morning I told him about my father. Not the more gory details but generally. I was glad I hadn't gone into more detail because Josh was pissed on my behalf. Which was equal parts sweet and horrible because it felt a little too close to pity. He told me that was ridiculous, that it wasn't pity. It's just that he wishes I didn't have to go through that, that he can't imagine how my father could be so uncaring about his own daughter. I just hugged him and told him he was one of the good ones.
The morning that we'd said I love you, I had also met Warren. He's a weird kid. And he's absolutely going to be bullied in high school. But he was such a dork, I couldn't help it. He's damn lovable. It wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought. Any awkward silences were staved off by his unending questions about… everything. He had a lot of questions about Canada. Also about karaoke- remembering my lie about I met his dad. Josh had coughed to cover his laugh at that.
Warren stayed home while Josh drove me back to my apartment which I was glad that he was old enough to stay home alone. I feel weird about Josh seeing where I live. It'd be much worse if his children saw where I live. But what's even worse? One of the ex-wives seeing where I live. CJ had offered to come pick me up for tonight's painting and wine thing which I had adamantly told Josh to politely refuse. He told me I shouldn't be so worried about CJ and I rolled my eyes. I can deal with Mandy. She's well, mean. I can deal with mean. I can deal with Joey. She and Josh are two people with kids who had an amicable divorce. What I can't deal with is his best friend, ex-wife, work wife. She's where the pressure is! I don't know how Josh doesn't see that.
I drive my beaten down 2000 Camry into an upscale part of Georgetown. My car does not fit in with the rest of the cars in parking lot. I push down the image and walk in to the Painting with A Twist store with my head held at a medium level.
I spot CJ first. She's tall and easy to spot. She's in jeans and a nice sweater. I'm also in jeans and an alright sweater. Next to her is a very pregnant Joey. Joey sees me first and she waves me over. Mandy looks behind her, at me. Her eyes carry a tone of reproach that make me want to go shrink inside my Camry. Maybe I was wrong to underestimate Mandy.
But there's no running away now. So I take art smock and canvas that an employee hands me and go over to greet them. My boyfriend's three ex-wives, the gatekeepers of his family.
AN okay hi this was long? And i don't know if too little happened or too much but I hope you enjoyed it. I really wasn't expecting much of a response to this fic but I'm glad yall seem to have enjoyed it so far. I'm sorry that it's been so long since I've updated but it should be a little more consistent now because I have a better idea now where the fic is going. Anyways, always happy to see reviews tyvm!