Nonon wasn't sure what she regretted more: scheduling band practice so early in the morning, or staying up so late at night. She could barely keep her eyes open as she trudged through the school halls, still half asleep. As she passed the student council headquarters, she thought she heard snickering, and poked her head through the thick velvet-curtained doorway to investigate. Sure enough, she found Houka on his laptop, with Uzu and Shiro huddled around him, clearly laughing at whatever was on the screen.

"What's so funny?"

"Well, if it isn't the author herself. Let's give her a round of applause." The hacker gave a clearly insincere slow clap.

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" Nonon marched into the room. She knew she was being mocked, but over what?

Houka smirked. "I can remotely access the contents of any computer connected to the school wi-fi. On the first of every month, I look through all of the student computers to find any documents that may pose a security risk. You should know all of this already, by the way. While searching yours, I happened to come across your little project. I never would have guessed that you were into that sort of thing."

Nonon's fatigue gave way to rage as she realized what Houka was referring to. "What I do with my writing talent is none of your fucking business, doggie! You'd better keep your filthy paws out of my private stuff or I'll put your phone through the laundry, got it?"

Seeing his chance, Shiro stepped in. "Ooh, getting a little salty, aren't we? Someone so bite-sized shouldn't be making threats. Besides, I thought snakes were supposed to be the ones doing the swallowing."

"No, no, I get it." Uzu chimed in. " You love Lady Satsuki so much, you secretly want her to eat you up like a rice ball. You want her to hold you nice and tight, so you can hear her stomach growling and groaning, just begging for you to fill it up. How romantic!"

The majorette looked away, trying to hide her blush. "F-fuck off, dickless wonder." Now that her colleagues had such powerful ammunition against her, they could humiliate her at any time. Her dignity was as good as shot!
Sensing his childhood friend's distress, Iori softened his expression. "It's alright, we don't judge here. I mean, we put up Ira."

Nonon took a deep breath. "Alright. But I swear, if you get on my case about this again, I'll break your kneecaps."
Houka adjusted his glasses."Personally, I'd be more worried about what Satsuki-sama has to say about this.
"Huh?"

"You do realize that because your writing involves Satsuki-sama, I have to report it to her. If you don't like it, take it up with the toad."

In that moment, Nonon Jakuzure's heart stopped.