It had been a very lonely couple of days. Luke had left on a two aimed mission with Leia and Han. Leia in attempt to bring aid to broken nations and Luke to find more force sensitive beings.

Luke's presence had been a daily comfort for the last month and he found he dearly missed him when he was gone.

Not to mention that the loneliness allowed him to wallow in the darkest corners of his mind.

There were still the nurses but they didn't speak to him and he had no interest in speaking to them either.

He had been been making progress in his physical recovery and once he received new and updated prosthetics, he was able to start walking again. It took a little time to adjust to the differences, and it certainly came with pain and struggles but it was nice to be able to move around again.

After he started walking and was deemed safe, Threepio was no longer forced into standing at his room.

He found he surprisingly missed the droid also. It was his only connection to his time before Vader and as more and more time passed, he strangely found himself reaching for those memories.

The good memories, the few of them that there were. Winning the pod race on Tatooine, building C-3PO, seeing Padmé for the first time, training as a padawan under Obi-Wan, marrying Padmé, training Ahsoka, and the last good memory he could remember, the day Padmé told him she was pregnant.

The darkness had once consumed all those memories, locked them away where he couldn't find them, could hold onto the one thing that would bring him back to the light.

It was Padmé's death that sent him hurtling over the edge of darkness, and he still was in anguish at the thought of her, at what he had done, but he had their children, and he could see so much of her in Luke and Leia, and they were his light now.

Leia hadn't returned to see him but Luke continued to assured him it would only be a matter of time.

He wasn't so sure.

He knew what it felt like to feel betrayed by those you believed to be family. Leia felt betrayed, in her own words and Leia was too much like him to let it go so easily.

As much as he liked finally being able to move around - Force knows if he had to remain trapped in that infernal bed for the rest of his days he surely would go mad - he wasn't granted that much freedom.

The infirmary was small, housing only a few rooms and his the largest. Thankfully he was the only long term patient and the rooms were mostly empty, save for the quick first aid that needed to be done every once in a while. He had free roam of the wing according to Luke but Luke feared letting him amongst the rest of the people yet. Not for their safety, he assured him, but for his own peace of mind.

He knew he could have easily broken out of the simple locks but he had no need to terrorize the other residents and ruin his progress rebuilding what was left of his life.

Thankfully in the medbay there was also a door that led outdoors, one of the first places Luke had taken him once he could walk and where they spent most of their time together.

He couldn't tell the difference between being outdoors or indoors, besides the scenery but Luke looked good and healthy in the fresh air, his skin brightened by the sun and so he found he enjoyed his time outdoors.

He spoke, just as he promised, about the Force, about what he had learned as a Jedi and as a Sith, and Luke listened eagerly.

He noticed of course when Luke would lean in, intrigued or recoiled and grew wary whenever he spoke of the dark side.

As he watched Luke practice his new skills, he began to finally feel like a father to him. His heart ached at the thought of the years they had missed and how he wished he could have watched Luke grow into the young man he was but he also felt grateful he had the chance to be with him now.

At every training session one thing was made even more clear to him: Luke was powerful but succeeded where he had failed to control his emotions. Luke did not repress them, he didn't have to and he saw for the first time what the Jedi could have been if not for their strict code and how Luke might actually be able to reform the order. He was eager to learn new information, quick to learn, and talented in applying all he had learned.

When he wasn't teaching Luke, he listened to Luke's developing plans to reform the Jedi and his progress in doing so. In the last few weeks he was able to make his case to the senate which prompted his departure to find more force sensitive beings.

Even without Luke, he often found himself outdoors simply for the change in scenery and the distraction he so desperately needed. He spent a lot of time gazing up at the sky, wondering where his children were and how they were faring.

One morning, about four days after Luke had left, he awoke in a considerable amount of pain. There was a pounding in his head that would not stop and the phantom pain in his missing limbs, which had not bothered him for sometime, suddenly was agonizing.

He usually tried to ignore it, and was often successful, but without the motivation of Luke he couldn't quite get himself to move that day.

It faded as the day drew on but he still remained indoors, letting himself wallow.

"Anakin."

The voice of his old master suddenly called to him through the silence and his chest tightened. For a moment nothing but a flash of blind rage passed over him, as it always had when he thought of Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan was dead, struck down by Vader's lightsaber aboard the Death Star.

It was merely a manifestation of his guilty conscience that tormented him now.

You were my brother, Anakin!

For the first time he was able to clearly hear those words. They had fallen on deaf ears on Mustafar, the Dark Side telling him Obi-Wan was the enemy, that Obi-Wan didn't care.

He almost felt guilty for it but then remembered it was Obi-Wan who had left him there to die, had watched in silence as Anakin Skywalker slowly burned to his supposed death.

Brother. His inner voice scoffed. He betrayed me!

You betrayed him first. Another smaller voice told him. You betrayed all of them. It was Padmé's voice inside his head, she always was his voice of reason, pulling him back to rational thought.

Padmé was gone now and left by himself he seethed in his anger.

"Anakin." Obi-Wan's voice pressed again.

Once again, his anger roared to life and got the better of him and the lights flickered, the loose objects in the room rattled to the floor with the power of the Force. "Leave me alone, Obi-Wan."

It was madness, speaking to the empty air but he felt a little mad these days.

There was a sudden audible sigh. "Always with the dramatics, Anakin."

His eyes opened and found the ghostly figure of Obi-Wan Kenobi standing at the edge of his bed, a familiar look of exhausted frustration on his old face.

He closed his eyes tightly and then opened them again and there Obi-Wan still stood.

He had heard of force ghosts but had never actually seen one.

Although his former master's presence was unwanted, he was grateful at least he hadn't gone completely insane.

"What are you doing here?" He asked calmly, though the anger continued to boil inside in the pit of his stomach.

"I've been keeping an eye on you. Your actions on the Death Star, it was very honorable, Anakin. You surprised me."

He would have groaned if he could. "I don't care for your opinion of me, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan's lips twitched in a familiar, smug little smirk which only infuriated him further. "Oh I know that isn't true."

"You know nothing about me."

Obi-Wan's smile faded. "Perhaps not. I thought I had a long time ago. The Anakin I knew I believed to be lost forever as soon as he pledged his allegiance to the Dark Side."

"The Anakin you knew is gone." He confirmed. Perhaps he was becoming Anakin again but certainly not as the young man Obi-Wan had known.

"The Anakin I knew never would have allowed harm to come to his son. I faced Vader aboard the first Death Star. It was Anakin who saved Luke on the second. I am rarely one to admit my wrongs but I believed you beyond saving, lost forever to the dark side. I was wrong."

"Finally we agree on something."

Obi-Wan chuckled, a small, half hearted chuckle but it sent a small strange wave of nostalgia through him. Obi-Wan spent a good amount of time scolding him, but there were many times they laughed together too. Many times he would say some offhand remark, do something outrageously dangerous Obi-Wan would try not to laugh, attempting to be the stoic Jedi Master he was meant to be, but there was no hiding the amusement in his eyes.

For the briefest of moments he saw that Obi-Wan again, master….friend….brother.

He pushed that memory, those thoughts to the back of his mind. That time was long lost, Obi-Wan was dead, gone, and he was no longer the young, hopeful padawan.

"We have both come a long way since our time together, Anakin."

He was suddenly acutely aware of how often Obi-Wan was using his name.

Aboard the Death Star, during their brief physical conflict, Obi-Wan had only referred to him by title, refusing to use the name Palpatine had given him, yet also refusing to connect the Sith to the Jedi he'd once known.

"Many actions to regret."

"You admit you were at fault? I must admit that does surprise me."

"I admit I was wrong in my understanding of the Force. That those who turned to the dark side were irredeemable. Your actions once you chose that path are inexcusable but you are not beyond saving. It just took a better man than I to bring you back."

"If you are referring to my son, I must agree he is the better man. The Jedi you could never be."

Obi-Wan lifted his brow. "I would have thought you wouldn't approve of your son becoming a Jedi."

"The Jedi that I knew, no, I wouldn't. Luke insists he can rebuild and reform what the order used to be. I don't know if he will succeed but I believe he will try and I support what he is trying to do."

"He wants so much to be like you, Anakin." Obi-Wan shook his head wistfully.

"I know." The image of Luke in his old robes came to mind. Thankfully Luke must have realized that the past should remain in the past and hadn't worn them again. "His advantage is he has his mother's heart."

Obi-Wan's face softened in a sad smile. "That he does."

He suddenly grew inexplicably angry at the look on Obi-Wan's face. The soft affection for his wife.

He suddenly realized, his heart clenching, that he was finally met with someone who knew the truth surrounding her death.

He found himself unable to speak, choked up with emotion, finally being so close to the truth.

"Obi-Wan." He said slowly and Obi-Wan turned to look at him, his face carefully blank.

"Padmé….what happened to her? How did she die?"

Obi-Wan's face creased in a deep frown. "You may not like the answer you hear."

"Tell me now." The voice modulator did not allow him to shout, or growl, not as loud as he wanted to. He was desperate, clawing for the truth that had been withheld for so long. The truth might have been painful but it was necessary, he could no longer be tortured by the unknown.

Obi-Wan sighed. "Very well." He cleared his throat and his face darkened. "You remember what you did to her on Mustafar?"

He certainly remembered Padmé coming to him, but he also remembered Obi-Wan and how he showed up shortly after. How Padmé wanted him to come with her and surrender himself to Obi-Wan.

He winced against flashes of harsh memories, feelings of anger, betrayal, and hatred bubbling up inside of him.

He remembered how he had lashed out at her because of Obi-Wan, because he believed she had taken his side.

"Yes."

Obi-Wan nodded slowly. "She survived, long enough to get her safely to Polis Massa. She was in agony but she successfully gave birth to Luke and Leia. She named them, got to see them and then passed on shortly after. Her last words were of you, after all you had done she believed there was still good in you. A belief I did not share at the time."

"Did I kill her?" He needed to know. Palpatine had told him so but Palpatine had also never mentioned his children and he knew his word could not be trusted.

Obi-Wan was silent for an agonizingly long minute. "No."

The word took a moment to process but for a brief moment there was a release of the weight that sat on his heart, the guilt that ate away at him, that was until he saw the look on Obi-Wan's face.

"Not physically, at least." Obi-Wan continued and turned a look on him that once would have had him feeling like a scolded young boy. "The force hold you had on her had no medical repercussions to her or the babies, miraculously." Obi-Wan's tone was sharp and bitter and while he didn't blame him for it, it still irritated him to no end. "Your actions, your turn to the dark side, were what broke her heart and it was all too much for her I suppose. Her death was a tragic loss for Luke and Leia but I think it fortunate she never knew what became of you because I believe it would have destroyed her."

The weight once again fell heavy on his chest as he thought about what life would have been like for Padmé and the children had she survived. They'd be with her but who knows where they would have ended up. He believed the world he was creating with Palpatine was right, at the time, but Padmé wouldn't have believed so. Padmé would have been on the rebels side, forced into hiding, or forced into fighting, either option would have been miserable for her and their children. Obi-Wan was right, he saw it in her eyes that day on Mustafar, he had frightened her, broke her heart and Darth Vader had effectively ruined any chance he had with his wife and children.

"Without a mother or father Luke and Leia were separated for their own protection."

The words were like a lightsaber through the heart and pulled him out of his spiraling thoughts and the anger flared to life inside of him. "They had a father and you had no right to keep them from me."

Obi-Wan turned to him in exasperation. "I believed you to be dead, Anakin."

For the briefest of moments his memory faded back to that memory he had repressed for so long. He couldn't think about the pain he felt as his body caught flame, for it had consumed his every thought but even in the blinding pain, he saw Obi-Wan watching him with derision and then he was gone. Obi-Wan had left him to die.

"Even if I hadn't," Obi-Wan continued, pulling him out of his spiraling dark memories. "I would not allow innocent children to fall into the hands of the Empire. Especially children that were as close as family to me."

"Family." He echoed darkly, bitterly. "The Jedi don't believe in family."

Obi-Wan pressed his brow together. "The jedi order discouraged attachment this is true but if you believed I did not consider you or Padmé my family, perhaps I did fail you after all."

He fell silent, momentarily stunned by his words. He didn't want to believe them. He didn't believe Obi-Wan cared back then, all evidence had pointed to it. However, it seemed, all evidence had pointed to the contrary.

A flicker of pain crossed over Obi-Wan's face and he sighed before he spoke again. "The Organa's could not have children of their own and Bail was present at their birth so Leia was placed with them. We believed it in their best interest to separate them, protect them from the Empire, so I brought Luke to Tatooine, to the only family he had left. Also childless, your step brother and his wife were happy to take Luke."

"How much did they know?" He asked quietly. "About what happened?"

"Bail knew what had happened to you, we discussed at length how best to protect the children. Owen was told you had died along with the rest of the Jedi but I believe he suspected the truth. Luke was well cared for, Anakin. They both were."

"I know that." He could hear the love in Leia's voice for her parents and Luke spoke fondly of his Aunt and Uncle, however much he disliked living on Tatooine.

Obi-Wan smiled fondly. "I watched and cared for Luke all throughout his childhood. At a distance of course but I was always there. He is a fine boy, Anakin."

"Is this where you tell me he is everything I could have been?" His tone was bitter and he didn't try to hide it. He was proud, extremely so, but Luke's successes were a constant reminder of his failures.

"If you are asking the question you already know the answer."

He was grateful at least that Obi-Wan spared the words from coming out of his own mouth.

"When Luke discovered the power of the force he was only nineteen. You were already a Jedi Knight by then. By his age you were already a highly trained and powerful Jedi. Luke is undertrained and clearly powerful. He is everything you were, Anakin, he just chose another path."

He was not expecting that from his former master. He was always under the impression Obi-Wan couldn't see the power he held, that he was constantly trying to suppress his abilities, but realized now perhaps he was only trying to keep his ego in check.

The conflicting thoughts and emotions were starting to give him a headache so he returned his focus back to Luke.

"You gave him my lightsaber, you were with him on the Death Star and he speaks of you fondly. You say you kept your distance but that clearly isn't the truth."

"We had only met officially a few days prior to our encounter on the Death Star when Artoo sought me out with a message from Leia asking for my help. Luke was with him…" He scoffed and shook his head. "I had to rescue your son from trouble. What possessed him to follow a droid by himself into the dangerous lands of Tatooine is beyond me. There's no mistaking your boy, Anakin."

He ignored that comment.

"The plans for the Death Star...Artoo had them?" He knew Leia had them but never knew how she got them, or who she had given them to.

For a moment he felt a small twinge of betrayal. A droid that he had once considered a friend had conspired against him - but Artoo remained safe in the hands of Luke and Leia, the droid remained loyal to them, and in so, loyal to him.

Obi-Wan's lips twitched up. "Yes. Your children are both far too much like you, Anakin. Luke is reckless, Leia is ruthless but they're also very clever. It seems the universe has its own sense of humor, bringing them together to bring Vader's destruction."

His children were at the heart of the rebel alliance. Luke, the last of the Jedi, Leia, their princess, leading the Republic just as Padmé had.

They would not surrender to darkness like he had. It would have always ended this way, the bright lights that they are. Palpatine would never have let them live and he never would have let them die at his hands. Never let Padmé's children suffer her same fate.

He embraced the darkness in his desperate attempts to save Padmé and it destroyed her. Destroyed Anakin. Her children, their children, brought him back to the light, and saved him, as much as he could be saved. His life was saved, his heart turned back towards the light but there things that were broken that could never be mended. Not with any medication or suit, or any amount of love from Luke.

His tense relationship with Leia was proof enough of that. She was too strong willed and he knew he may never receive her forgiveness, not that he deserved it.

He hated the Jedi, but he also hated the Sith, he hated Palpatine, he hated himself for giving in and for what he had done to his family.

"They are much more like Padmé." He thought of his wife and her kind heart, her forgiveness and compassion, her goodness.

"They are as much you as they are her. Had you been able to raise them…"

Obi-Wan trailed off, leaving the words hanging in the air and the anger flickered back to life inside him.

"We wouldn't have would we? The Jedi would forbid it."

Obi-Wan sighed. "Yes, they would have, and you probably would have been asked to leave the Order but honestly, Anakin if you believed any of us blind to your relationship with Padmé you must have been dense."

His chest constricted, startled at this new revelation. "You couldn't have known."

"We all knew, we just chose to turn a blind eye. You were not as subtle as you believe."

It wasn't easy, trying to hide their relationship but he thought they had been careful.

"When Padmé became pregnant, well...none of us dare ask her who the father was but I certainly had my suspicions. I had no confirmation that the children were yours until Padmé told me but it came as no surprise. How heartless you must have believed us all to be."

Obi-Wans voice was pitying, condescending and positively infuriating.

"If the Jedi offered me any reassurance that my family would be safe and accepted I wouldn't have felt the need to turn to the Dark Side."

"All you had to do was ask!" Obi-Wan said in exasperation. "You would have had our protection."

Lies - the Jedi wouldn't have cared, he knew it and so did Obi-Wan. His face scrunched up and he shook his head, his eyes sad but genuine. " At the very least you would have had mine."

He said it with such conviction and regret, sadness, that he almost believed him.

"It was not as simple as that."

Still, he remembered Padmé begging him to ask Obi-Wan for helped and he insisting that they didn't need it. If only he had listened...he should have listened...

Obi-Wan's face flickered in frustration. "Nothing ever is with you."

He felt his own frustration rising. "What could you have done? To save her?"

"I am no doctor but I did everything I could to save her. I even brought her to you because she believed she could save you! Forces sake, Anakin, I was not only your master, I was your friend!"

"She was going to die, I knew, I saw it…" The nightmare that never stopped, even after the news of the death. Over and over, her cries of pain and anguish, screaming his name, tormenting him.

"You saw the future, Anakin, but you saw the future you yourself created. As I told you there was nothing medically wrong with Padmé at the time of her death, there was nothing that would have killed her if you had just stayed with her."

"It is my fault."

Obi-Wan gave a resigned sigh. "Well you certainly didn't help."

He was more clear minded than he had been in his entire life. He replayed those moments in Mustafar, hearing every word Padmé was telling him, begging him to turn away and how power hungry he had sounded. How power hungry he had been, how angry he had been. That young Sith Lord was the most powerful being in the galaxy and he knew it. He wouldn't listen to Padmé, because she wouldn't listen to him and then Obi-Wan showed up and…

His rage had blinded him, blinded him so red he hardly saw the difference between him and Padmé. He had reached out and…

Tears burned painfully at his eyes.

"I killed her." It was something he'd known as truth for over twenty years but without the details he always felt something was missing. Now he knew for certain, Padmé was dead and it was his fault.

Obi-Wan was silent for a long time, clearly mulling over his words carefully before he spoke.

"Darth Vader had taken control of you." He said quietly. "The Anakin I knew never could have hurt her."

He knew Obi-Wan was trying to reassure him, trying to separate his padawan and friend from the actions of the Sith Lord but he knew the truth. "I am both, Obi-Wan. I chose to become Vader, so a part of Vader was always...me. I am him. I hurt her, I…"

It was a heartbreaking revelation but an important one all the same.

He couldn't say anything for a while and Obi-Wan's silence spoke for itself. His former master couldn't look at him, instead keeping his eyes down, his brow pressed together.

"I am lost Obi-Wan." He admitted finally, breaking past his own barriers of rage and resentment and reaching out to the only man who had truly cared for him.

Obi-Wan looked up, his lips pressed together firmly. He sighed and turned to face him. "They called you Chosen One," Obi-Wan said as if he needed a reminder, " the one who was meant to bring balance to the Force. The Jedi's mistake was to believe you belonged only to the light side of the force. Palpatine's was to believe you belonged only y to the dark. You were never meant to bring balance, anakin, you are the balance. You've known both light and dark, have become a master of both. It is up to you now to decide where to go from here, how to apply all you have learned from both sides. My life is done and I failed you as your Master, and as your friend, and I'm sorry that I could, and would, not see your suffering. but you have been given a second chance. Don't waste it, Anakin. I know you can still be great."

"How?" He had lost everything and felt stuck in a pit of despair. "Obi-Wan...how do I go on with all in have done?"

He once pledged himself to be Darth Sidious' student but had always believed himself to be better, more powerful than him. More often than not he felt the same about Obi-Wan.

For the first time since he was a young boy, just starting training under Obi-Wan he felt himself craving his Master's teaching. He had hit the lowest point in his life and he knew he needed something to change. Obi-Wan was still a representation of the Jedi and there were certain points they'd never agree on but he was the only family he had ever known, besides his mother and Padmé.

Obi-Wan was right, damn him, he did care. He it and therefore it didn't do a lick of good for him in his entire life but he hoped it would do now.

"You apologize, you learn from your past mistakes and then you move forward. Your children are willing to forgive you. Luke certainly has and Leia, she is stubborn but she's hurt and in time she will come around. Most important of all you must make peace with yourself."

Of all Obi-Wan had mentioned, that seemed the most impossible of all. The guilt and self hatred ran deep and it would take a lot to make him feel otherwise. He didn't think he had ever been at peace with himself.

There were those rare moments of peace when he was alone with Padmé and all that mattered was the way she felt in his arms.

Even then, she was only a mere distraction from his tormenting thoughts and dreams.

"Obi-Wan…"

His former master shook his head. "I am no longer your Master, Anakin, I've said all I can say. This is something you must discover for yourself."

Help me. He wanted to cry out but he knew Obi-Wan was right, it was something he had to find within himself.

Obi-Wan slowly lifted his arm and outstretched his hand toward him. He couldn't have touched him if he wanted to but he felt a gentle tingle of the Force. He smiled, slow and sad and then dropped his hand and looked over his shoulder. "It is time for me to go, Anakin." He said quietly. "I just needed to see you again, to speak to you, to know perhaps my brother was not lost after all."

Obi-Wan's gaze lingered on him for another long moment and for once he could see the love in his eyes.

He was right, a lot had changed for both of them since he left the Jedi. His fall had not only broken himself but also Obi-Wan. Those walls around his heart the Jedi had forced up were gone.

Obi-Wan then slowly turned around and he felt that sting of dread and he knew he was about to lose another person he cared for.

"Obi-Wan." He called out and his former master froze. "Thank you."

Obi-Wan looked over his shoulder, the surprise evident on his face.

"I blamed you for many things, some of which were not your fault, but I realize my own faults and everything I've done. You took care of my family when I could not. You watched over Luke and you led him back to me."

"Padmé believed in you, with her dying breath she said so." His words were a bittersweet tug at his heart. "I knew if there was anyone who could bring you back it would be her son and I had to try."

Obi-Wan looked down, his face relaxed in a smile and then turned his head towards him. "Goodbye Anakin. Take care of yourself."

Then without another word he faded from view. He felt the loss of his presence, the room felt extremely empty and quiet, and he knew he would never see his old friend again.

"Goodbye Obi-Wan." The feeling was unspoken but he felt it in his heart, a bond between them that went beyond former Master and apprentice, a kinship that could never be severed, not by betrayal or even death.

Brothers.

Obi-Wan had given him forgiveness and acceptance he didn't know he needed, didn't think he wanted but it had given him something he had not felt since he awoke: a sliver of hope.