Time resumed.

Dean came back into the garage, carrying a box full of spare parts and cleaning supplies. Castiel's back was turned but Dean clearly noticed that he was wiping furiously at his face

"Hey Cas, you okay?"

The angel turned quickly in Dean's direction, straightening his coat and smiling. Dean could tell it was forced "I'm alright Dean, did you find what you were looking for?"

Dean stared at him for a few moments trying to figure out if he should question it any further. He definitely wasn't buying that the angel was fine. Castiel certainly didn't look fine but Dean decided that if Castiel wanted to talk about it, he would.

Instead, he reluctantly embraced the topic change laid out before him.

"Uh yeah...I did. Planning to give the car a facelift now that it's running. Maybe Sam can stop bothering me to borrow my car once and for all"

Castiel smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. They were pale, blank and distant. Thoughts of what he had to do were crowding out everything else. He wanted it to stop. He just wanted to enjoy this, being here, being with Dean. He just wanted everything else to stop.

Dean moved around the car, absorbed in his work before Castiel caught his attention again "Dean...this car is in driving condition, right?"

Dean stood up and looked at him, tilting his head slightly intrigued by the question "Uh...yeah actually. I was planning to take it for a test drive later-"

"Can we go now?"

Dean raised his brow "We? You...want to come with me?"

"Yes." Castiel nodded "I've been in the bunker since I got here, I'd like to see a little bit more of the world outside if you don't mind being my escort"

Dean chuckled throwing the rag in a bucket that was nearby "Well alright then"

They had been driving for about an hour. It felt weird to Dean to be driving another car, but he hoped that Baby wasn't too jealous, it was strictly professional and not as though he had a choice since Sam hadn't returned yet.

Castiel was completely silent in the passenger seat watching the scenery pass by the open window, the wind blowing back his hair and the light reflecting in his eyes. Dean had to make a conscious effort not to stare at the occasions when he glanced over to check on the angel.

"Hey, are your wings okay?"

It was the first time either of them had spoken since leaving the house. Castiel turned his gaze slowly towards Dean and gave him a soft, distant smile "Yes, they're fine. I've tucked them in against my back so they aren't uncomfortable"

Dean didn't really understand how wings that big could be tucked in so much that they were barely visible underneath the blanket he had given Castiel, but he nodded anyway, letting the silence take over once more.

Another hour passed before they were stopping on the side of the road. The sun had begun to set and Dean thought it was the perfect time to take a break from driving. He'd also noticed how fascinated Castiel had been when the sky began to change colour.

The view spread out on both sides of the open road for miles, just miles of green like a sea below them and the sun setting on the horizon all visible from the inside of the car.

For a while, they sat in silence, like they had for the entire journey, but it wasn't awkward, it wasn't tedious. Dean didn't feel like he had to say something to fill the void. It was just the two of them, enjoying each other's company.

Castiel sighed. Dean looked over to him but the angel was looking somewhere else, somewhere far away.

"We were taught that our greatest purpose was to protect the earth. We were to be guardians of life, watchers over eternity...I was so proud of that" the angel spoke as if he was talking to himself, relaying his thoughts out loud in a distant voice.

"When I was chosen to be a Guardian, it was the best moment of my life. I would be responsible for a human being's life. I would watch them grow, guide them and keep them safe from harm. It was my most important assignment, I could finally fulfil the purpose I was created for..."

Blue eyes lowered to his hands, mirroring the weight on his heart."Yet...I failed. I brought you pain"

Castiel's voice was quiet, broken. Dean heard it crack, "No matter what happens, I will protect you, Dean. No matter what it takes, no matter what it costs me, I will make sure that you and Sam are safe" but when he looked into Dean's eyes, Dean could see his conviction.

Dean felt his stomach twist uncomfortably as Castiel's words sank in. When the angel looked back at him with glassy eyes, barely fighting back tears, Dean's stomach dropped and panic washed over him.

"Cas, what did you do?"

Castiel was silent before "...I fell"

Dean stared at him, Castiel didn't otherwise respond. He only smiled, letting his body lean into Dean's and resting his head on the human's shoulder.

Castiel's gaze wandered to the darkening sky, one by one the stars were starting to appear like tiny fireflies emerging from underground.

There was an immense amount of fear and worry radiating off of Dean. Castiel repeated his earlier words in an effort to alleviate Dean's worries.

"I will protect you...no matter what" he whispered

Dean swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat without his permission. "What...what does that mean, Cas?" It felt as though Castiel was saying goodbye, he hoped more than anything that wasn't what this was.

"It means what it means"

"You know what I'm talking about, why -"

"Dean"

Castiel looked up at him, eyes pleading "Can we just enjoy each other's company?"

Dean looked at him with uncertainty, the angel didn't want to tell him yet, he didn't want to ruin this moment, "Please?"

The human sighed, giving in. "Fine" He honestly didn't want to know what this was about. It scared him.

Instead, he wrapped his arm around the angel's shoulder, pulling Castiel closer to his body and leaned his head back on the seat. Castiel hummed and closed his eyes, surrounding himself with the sound of Dean's breathing. It evened out slowly and his heartbeat became steady, quiet and comforting against Castiel's ear.

Castiel watched Dean sleep. The sun had set many hours ago, but there was no way the angel was going to wake him up.

He was content to just watch him sleep like he had done so many times before, but then Dean started to mutter. Castiel tilted his head in confusion, trying to make out what he was saying at first, then the most intense fear he had ever felt washed over him and he actually shuddered.

Dean's eyes were scrunched tightly closed and his nails were digging into the seats so hard that his knuckles were white. Castiel grabbed his shoulders and tried to shake him awake.

"Dean...!"

Dean couldn't hear him, he couldn't hear anything. The darkness pressed into him like a wall, trying to crush him. He couldn't breathe, couldn't scream when he felt the cold blade against his skin. It felt like someone was peeling his skin off.

Dean began to jerk violently and Castiel fought to keep him still, trying to wake him up by calling his name wasn't working. He had to go in and get him.

Putting his forefinger and ring finger together, he pressed them to Dean's forehead pouring his grace into Dean's mind in hopes that it would calm him down.

The nightmare poured into him in turn, the cold, the intense darkness, the fear, the pain as they ripped into his flesh, not being able t scream, not being able to breathe. He knew it all too well.

With a jerk, he fell back against the opposite side of the seat, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

That, those were his memories. Why was Dean dreaming about his memories?

He stared at the human as he tried to calm his racing heart. Dean had relaxed.

Castiel crawled over to him, resting his palms on either side of Dean's face and pressing his forehead to the human's.

He felt Dean's calm, felt the quiet in his mind. He felt Dean's soul, reaching out to him at the point of contact. His own grace, his own soul reacted, sending another shockwave of energy through him, like the one he felt in the bunker. Dean stirred but didn't wake.

Castiel raised his head from Dean's slowly, staring at him as everything began to make sense, everything that he had ever felt, the reason he made his choice to rebel against heaven, this incredible pull towards the human he was supposed to only watch from a distance. Everything made complete sense as he felt Dean's soul wrap around his grace.

But, this wouldn't change anything.

The angel slid silently down until his head was resting on Dean's chest instead. He stayed there, listening to Dean's heartbeat again, tears welling up in his eyes.

Chest heaving, breath ragged and tears streaming down his face, staining Dean's shirt.

This wouldn't change a damn thing.