Hi :) it's been a while.
Few things: I'm all grown up now! One more year of school at a university in the mid-atlantic that I'll leave unnamed. I was looking through the depths of my google drive and I randomly came across this story. I decided to give finishing it a go! Every so often I get a review, even though its been years, and I think about picking it up again. So now I'm actually going to do it. If anyone is still around, I appreciate you, and sorry I kinda stopped writing for about four years...
Feel free to skip down to the story, but in case you're wondering...
YES, I still love Les Miserables (I always will), and I actually just met Samantha Barks a few weeks ago at the Pretty Woman stagedoor, so I would say I'm still a pretty big fan of her too :) I didn't stop writing because I fell out of love with Les Mis; I just lost interest in writing and life got in the way.
I would also like to formally apologize for my old authors notes... I was so cringey at sixteen...
Enjolras was not a jealous person.
No, not at all
Not even a little bit.
Sure, maybe a tiny part of him wanted to kill Combeferre in the most painful way his mind could concoct, but that doesn't mean he's jealous.
It's not like he and Eponine are even together. Hell, they barely count as friends.
He was just.. protective, that was all. He was protective of all his friends. That's why thoughts of murder and carnage were more appealing over the sight of Combeferre's lips pressed against Eponine's. That's why his vision went red and his hands started to shake. It had nothing to do with jealousy, nothing at all.
Oh hell...
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She had already pulled away in surprise before he interrupted, but that didn't stop Combeferre from glaring at Enjolras while Eponine made a silent prayer of thanks for his impeccable timing. Her life was complicated enough without Combeferre muddying things up. Bless Enjolras, the complete dolt.
"Yes?" Combeferre practically barked as Enjolras stared at them with an odd expression.
"There's a festival, Annette wants to go," Enjolras murmured awkwardly, "I was sent to fetch you." Eponine stood quickly, dusting off some snowflakes where they had landed on her skirts.
"That sounds lovely," Eponine said quickly, pointedly avoiding eye contact with both men, "I'll have to collect the children." She brushed past Enjolras into the cafe and he followed, a disappointed Combeferre trailing behind.
A few drinks and some wrangling of the children later, the motley crew was headed down the avenue for the Christmas festivities. Gavroche and Pierre ran ahead, initiating a snowball fight with Courfeyrac and Bahorel. Eponine smiled at the scene, and fell into step beside Enjolras, who was giving Nicolas a ride on his back; chatting amicably with the little boy.
Enjolras pretended to listen to their conversation, but really he couldn't have said what topic the siblings were discussing. He was suddenly all too aware of the woman walking beside him. He hadn't noticed (or maybe he did, but had never allowed himself to dwell) how beautiful she was. Her hair and skin looked especially lovely in the lamplight, the light snowfall swirling around her. Her smile was bright and loving while she talked with her little brother; Enjolras found his own lips curling to a smile at the clear ring of laughter she released at something Nicolas had said. Eventually her dark eyes flickered from the boy's face to his and she caught him staring, he quickly turned away and let out an awkward cough, his neck burning from embarrassment.
Eponine turned her head to watch Gavroche and Pierre play, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. Enjolras had been acting strangely all night, it wasn't the first time she had caught him looking at her with a strange intensity. She glanced at him again, trying to figure out what he was thinking. He remained as elusive as ever and he tried valiantly to look anywhere but at her.
While only four, Nicolas could still sense the sudden tension between the two and squirmed to be let down, running to boisterously join in the snowball fight, which had grown more elaborate to include Joly and Bossuet. They continued on in a strained silence, awkwardly watching the group without acknowledging one another.
"Eponine come play!" Pierre was covered head to foot in snow, smiling as only a child on Christmas can. Eponine turned to Enjolras and for a moment it seemed she wanted to say something, but thought better of it. She turned, moving ahead to join in the game with her brothers. Moving surprisingly deftly, she managed to hook an arm around the slippery Gavroche and mush a snowball into his hair, expertly avoiding the snowballs pelted by the children for a time until Courfeyrac caught her round the waist and held her so the boys could actually land a shot.
"Courf! They're going to ruin my dress!" She struggled away from him and slapped his arm, she was laughing though, and Courfeyrac help up his hands in faux surrender.
Enjolras watched her playfully chastise Courfeyrac, her cheeks rosy from the cold and ice particles from the boy's snow fight sticking to her hair. Here he was noticing her hair? What was the matter with him?
When he had seen Combeferre lean towards her through the window of the cafe, something had come over him. He was at a loss for words to describe it, he just knew nothing could have stopped him from barging in on them. Anything to stop his lips from meeting hers...
"Enjolras, hurry up!" He was shook from his thoughts by Courfeyrac, "We're almost there!" He broke into a light jog to catch up with the group, falling into step beside his closest friend and avoiding Eponine, though he could feel her eyes on the back of his head.
The avenue was beautifully lively, and Enjolras was reminded of his earliest visits to the city with his parents; the reason he had fallen in love with it in the first place. The light from the cafes and shops lining the street flooded the cobblestones, carriage traffic was all but halted as the little square was filled with people dancing to the live music or enjoying treats from one of the many shops.
"Oh, it's so beautiful!" Cosette sighed. Eponine had to agree, though she would never have expressed it that way. She watched the Lark drag Marius to dance, barely feeling the twinge of jealousy that would have made her insides burn just a few months before. Grantaire somehow convinced Azelma to join him for an dance, and Musichetta dragged Joly to dance as well.
"Maman," Nicolas pulled at her sleeve, "Will you dance with me?" The boy bounced excitedly on his toes and Eponine smiled at him, bending down to lift him into her arms.
"There is not a soul I would rather dance with," Eponine kissed his forehead. She walked to where the others were dancing, holding one of his arms out and situating him on her hip to lead him in an exaggerated waltz. Nicolas giggled, waving with his free hand to Cosette, who grinned back at the little boy. As the song ended Cosette broke away from Marius, coming over o Eponine and Nicolas.
"I simply must dance with this handsome boy," Cosette said sweetly, "Eponine, would you mind terribly if I cut in?"
"Not at all," Eponine passed a happy Nicolas to Cosette, thankful for the break on her arms.
"It seems your brother has stolen my lady," Marius grinned his schoolboy grin, "May I have this dance 'Ponine?"
Eponine accepted and the two talked as they danced in a friendly manner. It really was only that, Eponine realized. She cared for Marius dearly, but only as one of her closest friends. She wasn't sure exactly when her feeling shifted, and it probably hadn't happened in one moment, but here she was.
She was no longer in love with Marius, and she had made her peace with it.
Seemingly the exact moment she had come to this realization, the universe, in all its cruelty, seemed set on making her continually miserable.
Over Marius' shoulder she saw Enjolras take the dance floor with Annette. Prior to this moment, Eponine would have thought the likelihood of Enjolras voluntarily dancing in public to be less than zero, but there he was, happily leading Annette in a simple waltz.
And why should he not? Annette was beautiful, and she glided through her dancing gracefully, in a way Eponine would never be able to accomplish. She was educated and kind and all around lovely. Yet in that moment, Eponine hated her. She looked away, faking a smile at whatever Marius had just said. She was surprised by how visceral her reaction was. All the same she could shake the ugly green jealousy chewing at her insides; threatening to claw its way up her throat and choke her.
As the song ended she glanced at the couple again, watching bitterly as Enjolras tenderly kissed Annette's fingers and returned to the table he had been standing at before. Eponine managed a smile and a "thank you" to Marius before turning and walking in the exact opposite direction Enjolras went. She found herself at a standing table occupied by Azelma, Grantaire and Combeferre. She snatched a glass of unknown alcohol off the table a downed a couple large gulps, grimacing at the sour taste.
"Are you alright?" Combeferre asked, "Maybe you should take it slow-"
"Combeferre," Azelma cut in with her usual tact, "Annette is looking lost," She pointed across the square to the aforementioned woman, "Can you go keep her company?" Combeferre looked like he wanted to refuse, but Grantaire clapped him on the shoulder, leading him away,
"Come on mate, the bar is this way, and something tells me we may need a few more drinks."
"Are you alright?" Azelma repeated the earlier question. Eponine downed the rest of her drink, taking another glass and sipping from that one as well.
"I'm fine," She responded shortly.
"No, you're not," Her sister quickly grabbed the remaining glass off the table before Eponine could, "Is it about Marius? I saw you dancing with him."
"No," Eponine answered honestly, "It has nothing to do with him."
"Alright," Azelma cocker her head slightly to the side, looking at her sister curiously.
"I don't want to talk about it 'Zel," Eponine said.
"Fine," Azelma looked across the square to Enjolras, who was brooding so hard into his mug Azelma was exhausted just looking at him. In fact, she was exhausted with the both of them.
"You should talk to Enjolras." Eponine looked to her sister in shock, but she had already slipped away into the crowd. Eponine bit her lip, scanning the area until she spotted Enjolras sitting at a table across the square. Maybe Azelma was right, if they could just have a normal conversation, like they used to, she would be reminded that she and Enjolras were just friends. Everything would go back to normal. Eponine finished the last of her drink, making her way across the street to where Enjolras sat.
XXXXXXXX
Enjolras bought himself a mug of ale and watched Eponine playfully dance with Nicolas. It was a sweet sight, even he had to admit, it was unusual to see Eponine so playful and carefree; it suited her. He turned from the dancefloor, enjoying a friendly political debate with Bahorel before Annette joined their table.
"Enjolras, would you care for a dance?" She asked him.
"Oh I don't know," Enjolras rubbed a hand on the back of his neck, "I'm not really one for dancing."
"Oh would you, please?" Annette asked, "It looks like such fun, even Eponine seems to be enjoying herself with Marius."
Surprised, Enjolras turned to confirm Annette's claim. She was right, somehow Eponine and Marius were dancing, and she looked thrilled. Still clearly enamored with the fool, Eponine was beaming, laughing happily at something Marius said to her. Trying to distract from the sudden sickness he felt in the pit of his stomach, Enjolras turned back to Annette, grasping her arm.
"Sure, let's dance," He said quickly. Annette looked surprised, but happily followed his lead to the dancing crowd. Annette happily chattered on about how lovely the holiday was, but Enjolras could only half-listen. He tried to stay focused on what Annette was saying, but he couldn't stop himself from peering over her shoulder to watch the other pair.
It hurt, looking at her hurt. But with a twisted masochistic pleasure, he couldn't make himself stop, he had barely been able to take his eyes off her all night. For week really, he had been admiring her. Not just for her beauty, though that was certainly there, but admiring her wit, and strength. How she could easily float through a teasing conversation with Azelma or Graintaire in the way he could never quite master. Watching her be a good mother to the children and sister to Azelma. She was an easy person to admire.
It was all too much, he was in the wrong place, with the wrong woman. All of a sudden he was suffocating. He unexpectedly pulled away from Annette startling her.
"I'm sorry," Ever the gentleman, Enjolras brought he hand to his lips for a hurried kiss, "I can't. I'm sorry." He turned and rushed away, leaving a confused, and more than a little disappointed, Annette in his wake. He found himself back at his original table, Bahorel had gone off somewhere else. He got himself another drink and sat, brooding over the insufferable woman he hadn't been able to get out of his head since his conversation with Grantaire a few days prior. To hell with that drunkard! This was all his fault, putting these asinine ideas into his head when everything had been going perfectly fine in his life. It didn't matter anyway, she was clearly still enamoured with Marius. Her actions tonight just proved it, it was all so confusing and pointless and frustrating.
"Enjolras?" startled, Enjolras looked up to see Eponine standing at the table, looking radiant in the glow of the cafe behind him.
Radiant? What on earth was the matter with him.
"Eponine?" He responded, looking at her expectantly. She shifted uncomfortably, suddenly unsure of what exactly she wanted to say.
"Want to dance?" Eponine bit her lip, hoping he wouldn't refuse her after he had just danced with Annette. Surprised, Enjolras nodded wordlessly, allowing her to lead him to the dancefloor.
The song playing was a slow one. Enjolras gathered her in his arms to lead her in a simple dance, one hand resting on her waist and the other clasping her hand against his chest. They stood close, foreheads nearly touching as they swayed.
Enjolras could smell her perfume, her proximity washed over him and seemed to flow throughout his body, like the alcohol he had consumed in copious amounts that night. He savored the feeling of her closeness, knowing when the song ended she would likely seek out Marius to see if she could have another dance. Marius was a better dancer than he was anyway, she deserved a better partner.
Eponine could feel his stubble against his cheek, she closed her eyes as they danced, allowing herself to get lost in the music and the warmth she could feel radiating from his body. His heartbeat was racing underneath her palm, as she was sure hers was as well. She wondered if he could tell. She could almost pretend his heart was racing for her, instead of the woman who had looked so perfect in his arms.
Eponine pulled back slightly to meet his eyes, finding the same intensity she had seen back at the cafe. It almost made her want to scream, so full of emotion she couldn't read. It was frustrating, and it made her feel small.
"Enjolras, I-" The couple were suddenly interrupted by the youngest Thenardier boy, squirming his way between the two and causing them to break apart.
"Maman," Nicolas sniffed, fat tears were leaking from his eyes, "I want to go home, Gavroche says if I don't go to sleep Father Christmas won't bring me any presents."
"Nicolas," Eponine tried to reason with him, "Father Christmas will still come, I promise you."
"No!" Nicolas stamped his foot, Eponine realized reasoning with a four-year-old was most likely futile. It was getting late, it was normal for him to get tired.
"Alright," Eponine sighed, "I'll take you home. Where are your brothers?"
"I'll come with you," Enjolras offered, "You shouldn't walk all the way back to the flat on your own."
"I'm used to being on my own," Eponine said, "Stay, enjoy the party."
"No it's alright," He responded, "I don't much like dancing or parties anyhow." Eponine relented, taking Nicolas by the hand and walking to the table where Azelma stood with Grantaire.
"I'm taking Nicolas home," Eponine told her, "Can you make sure you take Gav and Pierre with you when you leave?"
"Yes of course," Azelma waved a hand absentmindedly, "They'll be fine. Happy Christmas, I'll see you in the morning."
XXXXXXXX
Annette blinked, surprised at Enjolras' sudden exit. Everything had been so lovely? What had come over him so suddenly? She found herself standing alone in a crowded dance floor, suddenly quite out of place.
"Annette," Combeferre appeared, "You look a little lost, care for a drink?"
"Alright," Annette responded. She hadn't spent much time alone with Combeferre, she didn't know him very well.
"How has your holiday been?" Combeferre tried to make conversation.
"Well, I was just dancing with Enjolras," She huffed, "But suddenly he seemed very upset, he just walked away, without finishing the dance!"
"That seems odd, even for him," Combeferre took a sip of his ale, "Maybe he doesn't feel well. Enjolras doesn't really enjoy dancing or parties."
"Perhaps," Not fully convinced, Annette took a small sip from her wine and turned to watch the couples swirl on the dancefloor.
"Or maybe not," A dry laugh left Combeferre's mouth as he spotted them, the night finally making sense to him. Annette following his gaze, needing a double, then a triple take before accepting she was looking at Eponine and Enjolras dancing together.
She watched with a mixture of jealousy and fascinating as the two danced. They stood closer together, much closer than Enjolras had drawn her when they danced. They swayed simply, perhaps due to Eponine's inexperience with dancing; but it seemed to Annette more because they were lost in their own moment, the music and people around them no more than a fleeting periphery. They seemed completely lost in each other; and when Eponine pulled back and their eyes met - Annette's throat constricted.
No one had ever looked at her like that, least of all Enjolras. You would have to be dense to deny their connection. It was plain to see to anyone, except of course the two people it concerned. Blind fools. Annette had denying the truth for weeks, if she was being honest with herself.
"I'm a fool," Annette turned away from the scene, bitter tears burning at her eyes.
"As am I," Combeferre answered. Looking at him, Annette was surprised to see her own feelings mimicked in his face. She gave him a small, albeit sad, smile.
"Well here we are," She said, "Two fools, who never stood a chance."
The dance was interrupted by Nicolas and the two made their way away from the party with the little boy in tow, ignorant of the pair on the side of the dance floor watching their every move in disappointed resignation. Annette took a breath, shaking her head slightly as if to clear away her bitter thoughts. It was Christmas, she was not going to spend the holiday sulking.
"Combeferre," Annette turned to him as Eponine and Enjolras went out of view, "Would you like to dance?"
These two are so stupid, amiright?
Okay so I was going to include what... ahem... we all know is coming, but I'm going to end this here because it's already kind of long and if I start the next part I want to finish it all in the same chapter, which would make this one VERY long.
I will finish this story! It has become my goal for this semester and my wonderful low-credit-senior-life to finish! I'll try not to leave everyone waiting too long for the next chapter, but I want to make sure I get it right.
Is anyone still listening? Thanks for still reading, don't hate me for my hiatus please :)