One year later

Dean sat at the table, in the dark, surrounded by empty bottles. He had told himself that he would stop at the twentieth bottle of beer but it didn't really take. His days were spent like this, thinking; thinking about where it all went wrong. He remembered what his life was like a year ago, it wasn't great but it wasn't this bad. He hadn't felt empty...broken. Not like this.

Back then he had felt happy, working on his cars, taking care of Sam and just enjoying their life, until that day. He didn't know what happened but he remembered that day clearly. A sick nauseating feeling washed over him that day and it had felt like someone had ripped out his soul. Ever since then, he was empty. Lost.

Sam came up the stairs from his room and entered the living room. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, his hair sticking up at odd angles yet still managing to look completely perfect. Figured.

He blinked a couple times and tried to manoeuvre his way to the kitchen in a sleepy daze. Dean looked at him slightly amused. It didn't last long, however, when Sam suddenly turned accusing eyes on him "Dean? Did you even go to bed last night?"

"Nah. Wasn't sleepy" that was his excuse for the past year, his excuse for getting about four hours of sleep per week if he was lucky. Sam had stopped buying that excuse after the first three days, but Dean found the need to use it anyway.

"You haven't slept in two days Dean, your body is gonna shut down from running off fumes"

"I'm fine-"

"You don't sleep, you barely eat and you've been drinking non-stop. Just look at the floor! How are you 'fine' ?!"

"Just chill alright, I'm good. I'm just working through some stuff right now, gimme some time and I'll"

"-It's been a year, Dean."

"Yeah well it's a lot of stuff"

"Dean-"

"How about you make some breakfast then? I could eat if it'll shut you up about this"

Sam glared at him. Dean had to fight the urge to laugh because it wasn't a very convincing glare. He looked like an angry fuzzball.

Sam huffed and stomped into the kitchen, leaving Dean snickering softly. His eyes fell on the half-empty beer near his arm and his mind drifted off into aimless thought once more. The next time he tuned in, Sam was placing a plate of waffles and bacon in front of him and a cup of coffee.

It smelled delicious, despite the way the bacon had darkened. It nearly got away from Sam probably, but Dean still felt his stomach rumble in anticipation. It was the first time he had actually looked at a plate of any type of food for a while.

Sam sat down across from him with his own food and gave Dean a pointed look that said 'You better eat it all or I'll slash all the tires on the Impala'

Dean shot him a glare in response. 'I dare you. I'd kill you, you're children and your grandchildren. Just try me'

He slowly took a few bites of the waffles and a sip of the coffee before picking up a slice of bacon and chewing on it, staring at Sam who shrugged and started eating his own food, obviously satisfied that Dean had at least started eating.

A silence grew between them as Sam watched Dean pick at the rest of his food while he ate his. He cleared his throat after a while and began to speak "So...Ash is organizing a movie night later and he told me to invite you"

"No thanks"

"Charlie and Kevin have been complaining about how they haven't seen you in ages. Charlie is worried you know"

"I don't want to be around people right now"

Sam sighed but nodded in understanding before gathering his plate and standing "Okay. Just...think about it would you?"

Dean sighed but didn't otherwise respond. Sam left him alone for the rest of the day.

Sam came home to find Dean fast asleep. At the table. The same place he had left him that morning and the food untouched since the last time he had seen it. That was it. He threw down his bag and stomped over to where Dean was forming a nice puddle of drool on the dark wooden surface. "Dean!"

No response. Sam groaned and tried louder "Dean!"

"Waah-hah!" Dean's head shot up and he blinked a couple time, his mouth hung open and he flailed his arms around as if he was being attacked.

"Dean...we are going to that get-together. I'm not taking no for an answer"

Dean blinked a few more times, but it was taking a while for him to figure out that the person talking to him wasn't in his head. It wasn't until Sam had made him shower and he had started getting dressed that he realized what was happening. It was too late.

"Sammy...come on, I don't wanna go."

"We're going. You need to socialize"

"No one 'needs' to socialize. Especially not me, not now. Couldn't you leave me to be unconscious in peace?"

"Nope"

Sam was currently driving them in the direction of Ash's house. He lived a few miles away from where the boys did and a couple minutes from the college they all went to; excluding Dean of course. Dean was too cool for college.

They pulled up in front of the house and Sam got out of the driver's side. Dean had made no move to open the door so Sam went around to his side to drag him out. Dean protested, quite loudly as Sam pulled him by the wrist to the door "Oh come on, stop being such a baby, you're gonna have a good time. Even if it kills you"

"That's the thing, Sam, it just might"

Sam knocked on the door before turning to Dean who was scowling at the gravel under his feet "Don't be ridiculous-"

"Hey mi amigo!"

Sam turned around and smiled as he greeted the blond at the door "Hey Ash-"

"Woah, if it isn't Deano. I thought you up and left the country or somethin'"

"Yeah well, I thought about it..."

Sam rolled his eyes and Ash laughed, moving aside to let them in "Step inside my domain, mi casa su casa or you know, whatevs"

Inside the two-story house smelled like freshly made popcorn and punch with a trace of alcohol mixed in. The music played softly, some classic rock which Dean appreciated, and there weren't many people there, most of them he knew aside for one or two new faces. Another thing he really appreciated. Being around strangers right now would not have been ideal since he still felt like strangling Sam for taking him out of the house.

There was a flash of red and Dean found himself being tackled and thrown towards the couch he had tried to pass as he followed Sam. His only reflex was to yell as his back was pressed into the couch cushions.

"What the-?!"

"DEAN! YOU'RE ALIVE!"

Dean blinked a few times and his eyes finally focused on who was on top of him, squeezing the air out of his lungs in the most platonic way possible. "C-charlie? I can't breathe...!"

"Oh! Right, sorry" She got up and stood to help Dean to his feet. "You can't blame me though, I haven't seen you in forever!"

Dean was still trying to catch his breath "Y-yeah, well...I haven't been up for any social escapades in a while so..."

"Is everything okay...?"

"...yeah. I'm fine"

Charlie gave him a look that said 'why the hell you lying' and rolled her eyes. "Come on Dean, don't give me that crap. Something happened"

Dean scratched his head and looked away from her. He was surprised when she took his arm and pulled him toward the kitchen where there were fewer people "come on, let's have a drink and stuff our faces with popcorn and you can rant to me about why you became a hermit alright?"

She left no room for resistance and Dean frankly didn't have the energy to resist anyway. Sam watched Dean being dragged away and smiled in approval. He knew that his brother needed this, no matter how much he tried to protest.

Dean and Charlie had spent the time doing exactly what she had said they would do. They talked and laughed trying to catch up with everything that had happened in each other's lives for the past year, Dean didn't have much to say but Charlie had been extremely busy and spared no details.

"I mean, working at Roman Enterprises is great and all but that Dick really gets to me. I mean his face just pisses me off!" Charlie ranted. She had been talking about her new, creepy boss for the last ten minutes but Dean had been content just listening, somewhat, instead of being questioned. She had tried to get some information out of him earlier but after a while of short answers and vague responses, Dean had somehow managed to steer her onto a tangent. Thank Chuck for that.

Dean looked up as Charlie continued about her job, he was looking around for Sam out of habit and saw that he was sitting on the floor in front of the large television, playing a video game with Ash and Kevin. Dean vaguely wondered when Sam got into video games in the first place, and why no movies were playing even though this was supposed to be a 'movie night' or something.

However, all his thought processes stopped, as well as some basic functions like remembering how to breathe when his eyes brushed over a familiar face in the group watching the game. The stranger's eyes locked with his for a brief second and Dean felt a twang in his chest. He got up without a word to Charlie and didn't even hear when she called out to him in question.

Slowly he made his way over to the stranger, he was tempted to reach out and touch his shoulder but the stranger turned to smile with one of his companions and Dean's hand fell immediately. That wasn't the person he thought he saw. Dean wasn't even sure he knew who he was expecting.

He looked down at his boots for a couple seconds, scolding himself for being a bit stupid and then turned abruptly almost bumping into Charlie. "Dean? Why'd you just leave all of a sudden? Is something wrong?"

"No...I-I just...I gotta go" Dean moved past her and towards the door. Charlie called after him again and Sam looked up and noticed his brother leaving.

"This was a bad idea," Dean said to no one in particular as he grabbed his jacket and opened the door. Sam followed him outside and jogged to catch up to him.

"Dean!" Dean didn't really want to stop but he did anyway so that Sam could catch up "Hey, why are you leaving, what happened?"

"I'm fine, I just need to get some air"

"Dean, what's wrong?"

Dean didn't respond. There was no way he could even if he wanted to because he didn't know. He didn't know what was going on with him, he didn't know anything.

"Dean-"

"We passed a bar on the way up here, that's where I'll be if you need me" Dean began to walk away and Sam started to argue but his brother wasn't listening anymore. He watched Dean disappear down the street and sighed, turning to go back inside.

It was dawn when Dean stumbled out of the bar, not willingly, of course, they kicked him out because they needed to close up and go home. Plus, they couldn't let him drink their entire stock like he had intended to.

As he walked down the road he wasn't sure which direction he was going in, he knew that he would either end up back home or at Ash's house and either one would be fine as long as he could pass out on a couch somewhere. It was a straight shot in either direction, so you can imagine his surprise when he heard the sound of a car horn blaring at him and looked up to find that he was in the middle of the road. When had he started to cross, he didn't really know, all his brain registered was that he was going to die.

'...so this is it then.'

He heard tires screech, smelt the burning rubber and felt dirt rain over him as his back hit the ground. Through the haze of smoke and dust, he was met with a piercing blue, a colour that he vaguely remembered from a dream, or a memory, he wasn't quite sure which. He wasn't even sure if he was awake right now.

'What...?'

He looked around, but there was no one in sight for miles, the car was long gone and he was sitting alone on the side of the road. Shaking his head once, he struggled to his feet, stumbling a few times before standing properly. His eyes caught something in the dirt near his foot, it shone in the morning light.

Dean bent down, picking up the large object and holding it to the light. His fingers brushed over the soft material, removing some of the dust.

It was a single, black feather.

AN - Hey everyone, I just want to say thank you so much for reading, I had so much fun writing this and I wanted to share it with the community. It was originally uploaded on Wattpad yokokitsune.

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did and again, thank you very much.

-Yoko