Chapter Eleven
Everything about Letty was different the next morning when she reentered Doctor John's office, and his eyebrows shot up. He had nothing to compare it to, but Christian could have told him: the old Letty was back – careless, defiant, outwardly confident, scared shitless inside.
He watched her walk to his desk and sit in the same chair, then ventured a guess: "You've made a decision."
"No," she replied, startling him. "I don't really have any choice here." His quizzical expression begged her to go on. She took a breath, steadying herself to say it. "We were only married for a couple of months, but Javier... was everything to me. And now he's gone. And this baby – you're not lying to me, are you? I really am pregnant?" He reconfirmed it with a nod. "Then this baby... is the only piece of him that I have left, or ever will. It and the wedding ring he gave me," she added, holding up her hand to show him. "I can't just... walk away from that. I can't ever..." She wouldn't even say it. Then she gave him a shrug. "So I've got no choice. But I have absolutely no idea what to do, how to do it."
Doctor John smiled at that. "That's where I come in. As I said yesterday, send me an email when you're settled, and I'll do the research, and send you information on all the programs and groups in your area – including the best counselors I can find."
" 'Programs'?" She queried, raising an eyebrow.
"Don't roll your eyes at government programs, Letty. They are made to help people like you, who just need a little help getting started. Housing assistance, job training, even SNAP benefits – food stamps. Look at it this way: you're using them for their intended purpose, to help you – and your baby – get the best possible start in your new life, until you are able to support the both of you."
Letty swallowed a sarcastic retort and said meekly, "Okay."
He went on. "The other half of that, is where you come in. And I'm giving you an assignment." Letty's eyebrows shot up at that, and he grinned. "And if you do it properly, it will take the rest of your life. But it's important." He leaned forward, speaking earnestly. "I also spoke yesterday about having a support group, how important it is, how everyone needs to have a circle of friends and family they can count on. Since you have none, your task is to build one. And since family isn't an option in your case – " he held up a hand as she took a breath " – and I completely understand that – you need to build your own circle of friends. So that's your assignment. I want you to have at least two – and three would be better – good, close friends, ones you can say anything to, who will be there to help you. I'll get back to that in a second. I also want you to gather no less than six casual friends. They can be coworkers, neighbors, people you meet in any formal or informal groups you join. But you need to be able to say hello to people you know when you go places."
Leaning back again, he took a moment to assess the woman across the desk. "I'm not sure about this, so please forgive me if I'm wrong, but I have the impression that this next bit comes under the heading of 'things someone should have told you a long time ago'. But this is important. If you want those close friends to be there when you need them, you need to be there for them, first. No using somebody and throwing them away, no ghosting them when they get 'needy' or inconvenient, no lies or stories. Only honesty and caring. These are people you should see every day, or nearly, people you spend a lot of time with, and get to know really well. And you help them, and they help you. With anything." Letting it go at that, he waited for her reaction.
"In other words, I need to stop being such a selfish bitch," was her wry rejoinder.
He shrugged. "I don't know you well enough to assess that."
That got a snort. "Oh, very diplomatically put. Well done!"
He smiled, but let it go. "So there is your prescription, Mrs. Pereira. You need to tend your garden of friends, daily. The harvest will be yours in all the years to come: days and nights of friendship, support, and love. You see, the real benefits of close friendship isn't just in those emergencies, but in the day-to-day. Having someone to go shopping with, or having a laugh over drinks – coffee, in your case," he amended quickly. "Even introverts need friends – and you don't strike me as very introverted."
"I do need lots of alone time, to recharge. But I like being around people, too."
"Then make sure you get plenty of both. And take your time – I'm sure you know this, but friendships, especially close ones, aren't built in a day. But I want you to do something for me. One year from today, I want you to send me an email, and tell me about your support group. That's our follow-up appointment. Will you do that?"
She couldn't help but give a small, helpless laugh at his "prescription". It was certainly the strangest she'd ever heard of. It was a mark of how frightened she was, she knew instinctively, that she was even listening to him without rolling her eyes and scoffing. The one thought that had been clear in her mind the moment she woke up that morning was that if she was going to keep and raise Javier's baby – and she really had no choice about that – if she wasn't going to raise a monster, or run the risk of having the child taken away from her, then she could not continue living as she had been all her life. But she had zero idea what to do differently, or how. So she had swallowed her pride and come to Doctor John for his advice, as well as Nurse Carole. Whether she would follow any of it remained to be seen, but at least she was listening. "Okay," she finally said with an air of humoring him.
He grinned back. "The good news is, you're one up already!" Doctor John reached for a small piece of paper at the side of his desk and handed it across to Letty.
Taking and reading it, she saw it had "Christian Woodhill" and a phone number on it. "Christian?" she asked with shock.
"That's his new cell phone number," he pointed out. "His old one, the one you have, no longer works."
"You talked to him?" He nodded. "What did you tell him?" She wasn't sure whether to be outraged or grateful.
"I told him who I was, and that you are my patient. I told him of your husband's death – he was very sorry to hear it – but that you would be released soon, and needed help and a place to go. As soon as the words had left my lips, he said, and I quote, 'Tell her to call me at once. I'm here for her, and I want to help her any way I can.' "
Letty wasn't sure she was buying it. "What about Rhonda? His wife?"
"He didn't mention her, and I didn't ask. Oh! He did give me one more message for you. He said that you have now missed seven hundred and forty-three check-ins, and he's tired of covering for you."
Letty goggled, and then burst out laughing, one hand flying up to cover her mouth as the laughs tried hard to turn into tears. She wasn't sure which won out.
He let her control herself, then said pointedly, "So put that number into your phone at once."
"My phone's dead," she remembered. Carole had given it back to her the day before, along with her now-empty bag – no charger.
"Ack! Idiot!" His slap at his own head gave the target of that insult as he opened a side drawer, then startled her with a non-sequitor. "Apple or Android?"
"Apple."
He pulled out a bundled charger and handed it to her. "Don't look at me," he demurred. "That came from Lost and Found. This, however," as he reached for a large bottle of pills beside the computer monitor and handed it across as well, "came from our own pharmacy."
She read the label. "Prenatal vitamins."
"Take one a day, every day, starting today."
"Yes, doctor," she assented wryly, slipping charger, bottle, and scrap of paper into one oversized smock pocket. Letty considered the man for a moment. "Does that mean I'm being released?"
"I don't see any reason to hold you," he began – but was interrupted by a knock on the office door, followed immediately by said door opening. Doctor John shot a startled look at the two men entering, then shot to his feet, spluttering. "Excuse me, gentlemen! You don't just walk into a doctor's private office, especially when he is with a patient!"
"Sorry, Doctor, but we couldn't wait. We need to ask your... patient... some questions, urgently," replied the man in the lead, looking at Letty. The sarcastic pause on the description was lost on no one.
She had swiveled around at the interruption, and was now staring back at him. "I remember you," she said warily, also rising to her feet. "You were at the morgue," she finished.
He nodded, giving her a tight smile. "Special Agent Danvers, of the FBI," he confirmed, holding out a hand, which she ignored. So he waved it at his companion, instead: "Agent Thompson." The two agents wore nearly matching three-piece suits, which didn't reassure anyone. They both looked their parts, from buzz cuts to shoe shines, and in fact, were nearly interchangeable.
Letty had gone from wary to outraged in a flash. "I told you already," she nearly hissed, "I'm not telling you anything... ever." She turned beseeching eyes on Doctor John.
The doctor was furious, but knew he was cornered. "I'm sorry," he told Letty apologetically, swallowing his rage. "They do have the legal right to ask you questions." He couldn't resist adding to Danvers, "Although their timing – and their manners – leave much to be desired." Danvers ignored him.
"And I have the right to remain silent!" Letty shot back. Matching actions to words, she plopped back onto her chair, crossed both arms and legs, and fixed her gaze straight ahead at the near corner of the doctor's computer screen with an absolutely blank expression. She had realized instantly that she had neither the time nor the wit to construct a believable story to confound the FBI agents, nor did she have any idea what they already knew, so she simply did the only thing she could, and shut them out.
For the next fifteen minutes, she held herself in rigid control, not giving them a single word, nor the slightest reaction to any names, dates, or locations, nor so much as glancing at any picture they tried to show her. She did her best not even to hear anything, distracting herself by concentrating on running times tables in her head.
She did let herself hear one thing, however, an answer to the doctor's question (for which she silently blessed him): Javier's sister, Ava, had come across the country, claimed his body, had it cremated, and took the ashes back to Savannah. Letty couldn't be located at the time. Letty was infinitely relieved at this; she couldn't have handled any of that, now or ever. Ava would take care of her brother in death as she had in life, giving him a peaceful final resting place.
She was aware in her peripheral vision of Doctor John hiding a grin with one hand as the two agents slowly became more aggravated at her blank stone wall act. Finally, Danvers snapped at her viciously, and the doctor had had enough. "Gentlemen, you are getting nowhere. And you are beginning to badger my patient, who is still under my care. I must ask you to end this, now." He stood up again, giving them a stern glare.
They didn't leave very graciously, but they did finally gather up their pictures and papers and leave. "We'll be trying again at another time," Danvers tried one last time to get a reaction from Letty, but she continued to ignore him, so at last they left, closing the door behind them. Great, she had thought, one more thing to deal with.
When she was certain they were gone, Letty took a deep breath and blew it out, covering her face briefly with both hands. Doctor John came around his desk then, leaned back against it, and put a solicitous hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said softly.
Dropping her hands, she looked up at him and gave a tiny smile. "Not your fault. You didn't have any choice." Remembering, she added softly, "Thank you. For asking about the body."
"I don't know whether you were absorbing any of that," he asked tentatively, continuing when she shook her head, "You might want to retain a lawyer, too." She sighed, heavily. What exactly had precipitated that, she didn't want to know.
The doctor paused, then asked, "Will you still write to me? Both as soon as you're settled, and in a year?"
She snorted softly, and nodded back with a smile. "Yes, doctor," was her mock-meek-patient reply.
He reached across his desk for a business card and handed it to her. "Then put all that info into your phone as well."
"I'm still being released?"
Another nod. "It will take a couple of hours to process all the paperwork. That'll give you time to charge your phone. The nurse will come get you when it's done." As she stood, he asked, "May I give you a hug?"
Letty was surprised, but appreciated both the impulse and the courtesy. She nodded, "I'd like that," and put her arms around his shoulders to hug him back. His arms were strong and steady, reassuringly solid around her torso.
"I believe in you, Letty Pereira," he said softly into her ear. "You're strong, and smart. I believe you can do this. It will take a lot of time, and a lot of tears and pain, but you can do it."
That made her gasp, and she held a hand over her mouth to swallow the threatening tears. Then, "Thank you," she whispered, then pulled away, turned, and walked out of his office.