A/N: Hello everyone! This will be the first of two chapters I'm posting so be on the lookout for a second. Enjoy! If you can.

Regina laid in bed wide awake as her alarm clock went off on the kitchen counter. She'd been staring up at the ceiling fan all night. Watching its panels as it steadily spun. If she'd slept for even a minute it was news to her.

She robotically climbed off her pullout bed and headed over to the still ringing alarm. After turning it off, she walked over to the coffee maker and set up a small amount of coffee like always. She continued with her morning ritual by checking in on Henry. For once he hadn't crept onto the pullout couch with her like usual. He was still sound asleep in his own bed, limbs sprawled across his sheets, mouth agape and drool seeping its way into his pillow. She leaned against the door frame and observed him enviously. If only she'd been able to sleep so soundly.

The scent of fresh coffee began to fill the apartment as Regina folded up her bed and transformed it back into a dusty old couch. She poured herself a small cup and went to stand out on her balcony. It was gorgeous out. The sun was bright and the clouds were fluffy. She could already see people on the street beginning to start their day. A few joggers running down the side walk. A store owner flipping his closed sign to open. And a group of small children heading for the bus stop, grins of their faces and a hop in their step. It was a beautiful day and if she were so inclined she could almost pretend it was a normal one.

But it wasn't. The simple black dress hanging in her closet told her so.

Despite the sun and the clouds and the children, today was the day she would bury her best friend. And there was no beauty in it. Not for her at least. Regina stared at the coffee in her hands, unable to force herself to take even a small sip. She went back into the apartment and set it down on the kitchen counter, untouched. She should start getting ready. There was much that needed to be done.

For a moment all Regina could hear was her own heartbeat. The floor could've been ripped from under her and she wouldn't notice. The entire world had stopped moving and all that existed was the never-ending echo of the EMT's words.

She didn't make it. She didn't make it. She didn't make it.

It was all she could do just to continue breathing. Just like that all the pain she'd fought for the past three years came roaring back. The hole in her heart, the one that she'd worked so hard to repair, it was suddenly ripped anew. This couldn't be happening. She couldn't have lost someone else. It was the incessant blabbering of the EMT that brought her back to earth.

"What?" she breathed out.

"We need for someone to identify her body," the EMT repeated gently. "For legal purposes."

Regina could only clear her throat in response. Before she could stop herself her mind flitted back to Daniel's death. She longed for the EMT that had been so kind to her. This one lacked her tact. She took a deep breath and focused on returning to her reality, as painful as it was. One look at Robin told her he was handling this even worse than she was. Still leaned against the wall he was unmoving, and unseeing. The shock and disbelief still hadn't left his eyes as his stare burned a hole into the floor. She grabbed his hand trying pull him back to life. She was not successful. Robin Locksely was a husk.

"Um, I'll do it," she told the EMT softly. "Just tell me where to go."

As if on autopilot she headed over to the desk that just a few minutes ago had been her best friend's workplace. The pen trembled in her hand as she wrote down the address the EMT told her to arrive at. She didn't even say thank you before hanging up on him. Who would really? Instead she turned back to Robin, who still sat dormant on the floor. She dropped to her knees beside him and called his name.

"Robin? Robin?" She said it again and again her desperation growing with each reiteration. Still he refused to look at her or even register her presence.

After the fifth time she called out to his name she placed his head between her hands and forced him to face her. "Robin, look at me," she begged in a desperate voice.

The abruptness of her touch, and the pleading tone of her voice was nearly enough to break him out of his stupor. He remained silent and still but for the first time since she'd arrived she could tell that Robin was actually seeing her. His blue eyes locked upon her brown and her heart clenched at the pain she saw in them. They seemed to be asking "why?" She blinked back tears and tried to put a look of determination on her face. She didn't know if she was succeeding or not.

"Listen to me," she whispered as fiercely as she could. "I will handle this. All of it. Okay?"

He only responded by lightly placing his hand on top of hers.

Robin was jolted out of sleep by the sound of Tink banging around his kitchen. The first thing he saw upon opening his eyes was a plain black suit laid atop his dresser. And just like that it all returned. He flipped onto his back and shut his eyes trying desperately to return to sleep.

The worst part of dealing with death was waking up. The repeated experience of having a moment of pure ignorant bliss, then being hit with a jarring wall of misery when you remember just how much you've lost was torturous. Despite this Robin slept more in the past few days than he did in his entire life. It was his only respite from the never-ending stream of pain that seemed to fill his every waking moment.

As the sound of Tink clattering around in the kitchen filled the apartment he realized that he wouldn't be getting back to sleep. He turned onto his side and faced the empty half of his bed. The clock on his night stand read 10:00. Marian would've been wide awake by this time. Perhaps reading the paper if she could. More likely preparing Roland's bottles for the day. He reached for the unused pillow next to his head and buried his face in it. The faint scent of her provided him with a bittersweet comfort. The entire apartment reminded him of Marian. The pictures of her smiling at him from the wall, the leftovers that she'd cooked still in their place in the fridge, the radio still tuned to her favorite station. It was all an assault on his senses.

A cackling wail began to sound off from next to his bed.

Roland. His biggest reminder.

As he listened to his son cry in his crib he was haunted by the ghost of unfulfilled dreams. Of a house that they would never live in as a family. Of milestones that his wife would never be there to witness. Of parts of Marian that his son would never know. All their dreams and all their hopes of being a family were just gone.

Tink would hear Roland's cries any second now and she would be making her way in to check on him. Robin internally cringed at the thought of the pitying look that would be on her face. He forced himself out of bed into the bathroom. He didn't even turn to look at his son as he walked past his crib.

Mulan crinkled her nose as the smell of the ocean rode on the wind into her face. She heard a seagull caw as she made her way down the docks being extra careful not to trip in her two inch heels. It was more difficult than she remembered. The wet wood creaked beneath her feet as she slowed to a stop in front of an old 30 ft. Catalina sail boat. Written across the rear in bold, old English letters were the words: THE JOLLY ROGER.

Putting her fingers in her mouth she blew out a sharp two note whistle. At the sound of her signal she saw a shirtless Killian pop up from below deck. His eyes were bloodshot and a five o'clock shadow graced his chin. She had no doubt that he felt as good as he looked. Still a smirk grew on his face when he took in her appearance. "Well now… don't you look all dolled up?"

Mulan rolled her eyes at his observation. She knew that if it weren't for the occasion she'd be getting comments like that all day. Her brown hair, which she'd usually pull into a tight ponytail, fell to her shoulders with every strand curled to perfection. Her usual sneakers had been replaced with a pair of strappy pointed heels and her outfit, which normally amounted to nothing more spectacular than a clean tee with a pair of jeans, was now a fitted black dress that fell just above her knees, with lace sleeves that didn't go beyond her elbows. More striking than all than this was her face. She'd always preferred to keep it bare, without a drop of product ever having the privilege to grace her skin. But today a layer of red lipstick covered her mouth and a strict boundary of black eyeliner traced the edges of her eyelids. She looked utterly stunning… but Killian had no doubt that she didn't feel that way.

She shrugged her shoulders up at him as she approached the edge of the dock. "It seemed fitting for the occasion."

A lump formed in her throat as she looked down to her feet. "She always wanted to see me dressed up."

Killian gripped the edge of the railing tighter as Mulan's words hit him square in the chest. He had more than a few memories of Marian teasing Lani about her refusal to wear dresses. It had been a bit of a running gag between the two of them.

Mulan sighed as she looked back up at him. "Hook… you know why I'm here."

He shook his head at her. "Lani I've told you I'm not going to the funeral."

"You need to be there," she insisted softly.

"No I don't," he responded with venom. "I've seen my share of send offs. Both with my parents and with my brother. They all end the same way. With someone I love being put in the ground. I don't need to see that again. I don't need to see them do that to her!"

She could see the tears well up in his eyes as he took a deep breath to reel in his emotions.

"I'm not going to that funeral," he repeated strongly. "And that's not going to change no matter how much you scream or yell-"

"Hook please!" she cried up at him. His rant was cut off by the sight of tears running down her face. Her chin trembled as she looked up at him. "Please don't make me go by myself. Please…"

He had to turn away from her as the guilt began to fill in his chest. His eyes scrunched closed as he felt the weight of her request wash over him like an ice cold bucket of water.

"Okay," he said softly nodding his head. "Fine just let me get dressed."

Every step Regina took down to the bar felt heavier than the last. She'd left Robin up in the office while she went to break the news to Killian. The weight of her task fell like a boulder into her stomach. How could she do this? Was she strong enough? She didn't feel like it.

When she rounded the end of the staircase she found Mulan had replaced her at Roland's side. In the midst of everything she'd forgotten that Lani had taken the shift after hers. She watched as she and Killian grinned down at the baby in the car seat. It was cute scene but the knowledge of what she would reveal to them made her sick to her stomach. She tried to the swallow the lump in her throat as she approached them at the bar.

"I need to talk to you both," she choked out.

Mulan took one look at her face and narrowed her eyes in worry. "What's going on?"

"I just- I need to speak to you both in private now," she whispered desperately. "Please!"

Roland cooed in his car seat atop the bar counter and she felt her heart shatter as she turned to look at him. All she could see was Marian's eyes staring back at her. The poor baby didn't know how much he'd lost today.

Killian noticed her distress and nodded his head. "We can talk in the storage room."

The storage room was the bar's go to place when you wanted to have a quick private conversation. It was just off the stage and could usually fit no more than two or three people at once. As Regina led them both into the tiny space she tried to think of the best way to break the news to them. She wanted to be as gentle and comforting as possible but as she saw Mulan set Roland's car seat down on the storage floor she knew it wasn't worth it to focus on such things. Their friend had just lost their wife. A baby had just lost his mother. There was no good way to tell anyone that. No way that would leave their hearts unscathed.

"So what's going on?" asked Killian folding his arms across his chest.

Regina wrung her hands together nervously. "Um… while Robin was upstairs… he got a phone call from some local EMTs. There was… an incident at the grocery store and Marian…"

Her throat began to tighten as she neared the end of her sentence. "She collapsed and… they couldn't save her."

She watched as the realization of what she was saying play out on their faces. She saw Hook's hands begin to tighten around his arms and his jaw begin to clench. She could see Mulan's jaw drop as she put a hand against the wall for support.

"Marian… died?" she said in disbelief.

"No she didn't!" replied Killian automatically. "That's impossible."

Regina hung her head at his denial. "Killian…"

"Don't say my name like that," he spat. "There's no way she can be gone. I just saw her yesterday and she was perfectly healthy. Perfectly healthy people don't just die!"

"Hook… please stop," said Mulan in a trembling voice. "Just stop…"

She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Her time in the military hadn't been long but she'd learned one important thing from it. Refusing to accept a death was never a good thing. A best it just wastes time. No they couldn't focus on trying to explain why this would happen. There were no good reasons. They just has to accept that it had and focus on dealing with that.

She took a deep breath and turned to Regina as she blinked back tears. "Where's Robin?"

"He's upstairs," said Regina softly. "He can't move, he can't speak. He's just sitting there."

"We have to get him home," said Mulan in a grave voice. She turned to Killian. "Hook… could you please take Roland out to your car and then grab Robin and help him downstairs. Then stay with them for the night."

He pressed his lips together as he nodded his head slowly. "Yeah… yeah I'll do that."

He tried to clear his throat as he reached down to lift up Roland's car seat. A tear dropped down his cheek as he locked eyes with the small boy. Poor lad.

Regina eyes never left Roland's car seat as she watched Killian carry him out of the storage room. She was his godmother and that role weighed on her more heavily than ever now. She turned back to Mulan as Hook shut the door behind him. "I need to, um, I need to get downtown."

Mulan tilted her head at her curiously.

"They need me to… identify her," Regina explained.

Mulan nodded her head understandingly as she dug into her pockets. She pulled out her car keys and handed them over to Regina. "Take my car for the night. You can use it to head downtown and pick up Henry from daycare so you're not late."

Regina squeezed her hand appreciatively. "Thank you. What are you…?"

"I'm going to stay here," Mulan said quickly. "Close up the bar for the day. Deal with the last of our current customers. And… I guess notify the staff. I'll take care of things."

Regina only nodded her head in response. She felt a tiny bit of relief in knowing that Lani would be handling things at the bar. She knew Robin would trust her would that. As would Marian.

She sniffed her nose as she wiped the remaining tears out of her eyes. "I should get going."

There's no such thing as a pleasant funeral. No matter how it's planned each one is leveled with its own brand of sadness. However, it can be said that some funerals are less unpleasant than others. This all depends on the people in attendance. On such a grim occasion the only thing any one person can do is make sure that things run as smoothly as possible. Mourners do this by helping as best as they can, comforting each other to the fullest and doing their best to give attention to those who need it most. In this sense Marian's funeral was the least unpleasant funeral ever.

The Drunken Monk was a sea of black. After Marian's burial everyone had gathered at the bar for a short luncheon. Not that anyone really felt like eating. Soft classical music played in the background as Killian loosened his tie at the bar counter with Mulan at his side.

"Bloody noose!" he growled softly. "I hate funerals."

"Yes you made that perfectly clear on your third glass of rum," Mulan mumbled, as she took another sip of her scotch on the rocks. Hell, she needed it to get through today. The funeral had been rough on them all. No one made it through it without shedding more than a few tears, her included. She couldn't get the image of Robin out of her head. The look on his face when they lowered Marian into the ground. It was indescribable. She sighed as she brought the glass to her lips once more.

They turned at the sound of heels approaching from behind. Regina walked up to them with a melancholy twinge to her gait. "Hey, room for one more?"

"Of course," said Killian gesturing to the seat on his other side. "We've barely seen you all day, love."

"Yes well, there was a lot to be done," she said settling on the stool.

"It was a lovely service Regina," said Mulan. "She would've proud of how you put things together."

Regina snorted as she poured herself a small glass of seltzer. She'd been hearing those words all day and they grew more and more meaningless with each reiteration. So what if she could throw a decent funeral? It did nothing to dull the ache in her heart.

"Where's Henry?" asked Killian curiously. It didn't escape his notice that the little boy wasn't present at the service.

"He's at daycare," answered Regina with a sad sigh. "I thought it best he not be here for this. He's too young."

She pressed her lips together as she rolled her glass between her two palms. "He keeps asking me where his Aunt Mari is."

Mulan and Killian looked over at her with sad eyes and she shrugged her shoulders at them. "I keep explaining it to him but I don't think he understands."

The three of them sat in silence as their hearts ached for Henry's innocence. How do you explain such a loss to someone who's never experienced it before?

"It breaks my heart to know that someday Robin will have to do the same for Roland," said Killian softly. "Where is he now?"

"I gave him to Mrs. Connelly for a minute," said Regina pointing out a booth in the corner. Mrs. Connelly sat with Roland, no doubt telling him a long-winded story about his late mother. Regina sighed as she watched the old lady gently bounce the baby in her lap. She'd made sure that Tink had dressed him in a dark blue onesie for the day. She couldn't bear to see him in black and the dark blue footsie outfit had always been one of Marian's favorites. He was the only spot of color in the whole bar. More than a few people had wanted the chance to spend time with him but he'd barely left Regina's arms since before the wake. She'd been taking care of him as much as possible since Marian no longer could. She owed it to him and she owed it to Marian.

Regina set down her half empty glass of seltzer and surveyed the bar. It was nearly at capacity. She didn't know everyone there but she was familiar with more than a few of them. Mickey, their old booze dealer, sat a few seats down from them at the bar reminiscing with a few other shop keepers about his dealings with Marian. Every once in a while a roar of laughter would arise from his group. There was Deana, Marian's hairstylist, sitting in a booth with a few of her stylist friends telling a story of how Marian had helped her set up her new shop last year. There was even a group of Marian's old high school friends telling tales of her as their class valedictorian and student council president. Regina's eyes didn't fall to them however. Instead they fell to a woman who sat alone in a dark booth away from everyone else. She appeared to be in her late fifties and was fully decked out in funeral wear. A large black sunhat covered her curly hair which was pulled back in a bun. A vodka martini sat in front of her and she ran her hands up and down the stem of the glass absentmindedly. She could've gone completely unnoticed if it hadn't been for that curly dark hair Regina had been so used to seeing on her best friend. And the dark round eyes she could now see on her godson.

Regina tapped Killian on the arm and pointed out the woman to him. "Is that who I think it is?"

Mulan's jaw dropped as she spotted her. "Holy crap… that's Marian's mother."

"Indeed it is," confirmed Killian. "Monica Calhoun."

The three of them openly stared at the older woman as she sat in the booth completely oblivious to their shock. She appeared to only have eyes for her grandson who sat just two booths away from her on another woman's lap.

Killian scoffed before he downed the rest of his rum. "So she can show up to a funeral but not a wedding."

"Hook!" Mulan scolded him in a fierce whisper. "Back off her. She saw her only child buried today. It's not the time to hold old grudges."

"Yeah you didn't have her hang up on you when you tried to tell her of her grandson's birth," Regina muttered bitterly. She took another sip of her seltzer before letting out a sigh. "It doesn't matter anyway. No one's going to punish that woman more than she's punishing herself right now. I guarantee you that."

Regina couldn't imagine being estranged from Henry for so long only to wake up one morning and discover he'd died. She wouldn't wish such a pain on anyone. Except perhaps her own mother…

Her thoughts were cut off when she caught sight of the buffet table. They were almost out of salad.

"I should go talk to the caterers," she said lifting herself off her stool.

Mulan shook her head at her. "Regina whatever's so important I'm sure they can handle it without you."

"I know but I'd rather make sure," she insisted. "I just came here to check up on you two anyway. I mean you knew Marian longer than I did."

"And yet not half as well," replied Hook gently. He stared down at her with sorrowful eyes. He'd seen her flit from place to place nearly all day taking care of every detail. The illusion of determination on her face was only broken by the tears that could be seen welling up in her eyes. Still she continued to talk to drivers, funeral directors and caterers. He didn't think she taken a minute to stop since she'd woken up.

"You were her best friend Regina and you've spent this whole day working. Making sure everything is just so. Perhaps you should just take a moment…"

"And do what?" she snapped at him. "Fall apart? Pretty sure Robin's got that option monopolized."

She saw them both cringe at her words and she ran her hands through her hair to calm herself. "I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean it like that. I just- I promised him that I would take care of things. So I am. Okay?"

"Okay," sighed Killian reluctantly. He watched her as she cantered her way into the kitchen and disappeared behind the door. Poor lass, he thought to himself.

Regina's footsteps echoed around her as she made her way down the underground hallway. This place could use some color, she thought to herself absentmindedly. Even if she hadn't just been crippled by the unexpected loss of her best friend she was sure the blank white walls and gray tile floors would drive her to insanity. The flickering florescent lights were especially giving off a horror movie vibe.

She finally saw the door for the coroner's office at the end of the hallway. Her heart beat faster in her chest as she reached with a shaking hand for the door knob. As she opened the door a middle-aged woman in a lab coat looked up at her from a desk. "May I help you?"

Regina pressed her lips together nervously as her grip on the handle tightened. "I was told I had to… identify my friend here."

The woman gave her a sympathetic look from behind her glasses.

"I'm sorry for your loss," she said solemnly. She stood and pulled out a blue paper from a drawer in her desk. "I'll just need you to fill out this form before we get started."

Regina silently took the form from her and grabbed a pen from the counter. As if on autopilot she filled out the sections on her name, address and occupation. Her hand trembled the entire time.

She cleared her throat as she handed the form back to woman behind the desk. The medical examiner sighed as she looked over the form and filed it in the proper spot.

Once finished she turned back to Regina with concern in her eyes. "Now that everything is in order I'm going to lead you to the back room. Your friend will be laid out on a table under a white sheet. I'm going to ask you if you're ready and when you say that you are I'm going to pull back the sheet and show you her face. I just need you tell me if you know her and say her name. Do you think you can do that now?"

Regina swallowed hard as the examiner went through the procedure. Every step seemed impossible but she still silently nodded her head.

"Are you sure?" asked the examiner gently. "It would be perfectly fine if you'd prefer to wait for someone to do this with you. There's no rush."

Regina thought back to Robin leaning lifelessly against the wall in the bar. Then to Mulan, who was probably only halfway through contacting all the bars employees and telling them the news. And then to Killian, who was most likely taking care of Roland while he tried to pull Robin out of his stupor. She shook her head at the examiner. "No it's fine. I can do it by myself."

Her voice was thick with sorrow but the examiner just nodded at her encouragingly and placed guiding hand between her shoulders. As they moved closer to the backroom's swinging door every step Regina took made her feel like she was knee-deep in water. Her throat tightened up as she walked through the door to see a single body covered with a white sheet a table in the center of the room. The medical examiner guided her to the side of the table as she reminded herself to keep breathing.

She reached for the edge of the sheet before turning back to Regina. "Are you ready?"

In and out. In and out. Regina slowly nodded her head at her. "Yes."

The examiner pulled back the sheet and a heartbroken gasp escaped from Regina's throat as her hands flew to her mouth. She spun away from the body as quickly as she could, determined not to lay eyes on it for a moment longer. Her arms wrapped around herself as she scrunched her eyes closed causing a few tears to fall.

"Miss do you know who this is?" she heard the Examiner ask from behind her back. "I know this is difficult but I need to hear you say so."

Regina panted as she tried to stop the sobs from taking over her body. "Yes I do. That's my best friend. Her name is Marian Locksely."

The words felt like acid on her tongue. Her best friend was gone. Her caramel skin, which glowed in the sun, was now sallow with blood gone cold. Her hair, which used to bounce with curls as she walked, was now hanging limp around her face. And her brown eyes, which used to sparkle with love and excitement, were shut. And they would never open again. The woman on the table might carry her name but she would never be Marian. Not anymore.

The medical examiner quickly replaced the sheet over her face. She walked over to Regina and squeezed her shoulder comforting. "I'm sorry. I know this must be hard."

Regina just turned to her with watery eyes. "Is there a bathroom nearby?"

"In the hall. It'll be the second door on your right," she replied automatically.

Like a blur Regina rushed from the office and headed for the bathroom. She'd barely gotten on her knees in front of the toilet before the vomit started to escape. Her hand gripped the seat for leverage as the nausea overtook her. Tears ran down her face the entire time. Once finished she leaned against the stall doors and let the sobs rack her body. How could this have happened? How could her beautiful, kind best friend just be taken like this? From her life, from her husband and child? How could that possibly be fair? Another wave of sorrow ran over her heart as she thought of Robin and Roland. The pain they must be feeling and the pain they would feel as time went on.

As her sobs finally subsided, she exited her stall and went to the mirror to clean herself up. Her reflection at the sink was a mess. Her face was still red from her crying and her eyes were now puffy and bloodshot. The vomit on the corner of her mouth didn't do her any favors either. She quickly turned on the sink and washed her face. The cool water offered a little relief against her burning cheeks. She could hear her mother's voice in the back of her head scolding her. Never let them see you cry Regina. Tears are a sign of weakness. She put on a look of determination as she stared back at her reflection. Breakdowns like the one she'd just had were no longer an option. She owed it to her best friend to make sure that her family was okay. Robin and Roland were the true victims here. They'd lost one third of their family today and after what she saw in the bar Robin was in no way prepared to deal with it yet. So she would. Nothing mattered more to Marian than her son and husband. And now that she was no longer around to take care of them herself Regina made a promise that she would do so for her.

WILL BE CONTINUED INTO THE NEXT CHAPTER! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!