Chapter 6: Getting Reacquainted
Lydia looked about herself, dumbfounded by the sudden unwarranted change in surroundings. The smell of dank, musty air instantly filled her nostrils. She stared, wide-eyed, surrounded by filthy walls and peeling paint. Busted appliances and junky furniture were scattered about, along with various magazines vulgar enough to make her want to hurl. Yep, same old Beetlejuice. Hopefully this time around, he'd be a bit more pleasant. Of course, that was doubtful, given who he was.
"Honey, we're home..." his gruff voice spoke, his mouth dangerously close to her ear. Feeling something draped across her shoulder, Lydia followed the sensation with her eyes, noting how his filthy striped sleeve was resting comfortably around her, his hand rubbing her arm suggestively.
Feeling a bit queasy, she quickly stood up, causing him to nearly fall to the floor. "Yes, I see that." she spat, nervously smoothing the fabric of her gown.
She watched as a lecherous grin spread across his face. God, his teeth were so...green.
"What's wrong, Babe? Did the ole' B-man rock yer world a little too much last time? Heheh...Make you a little gun shy?" he spoke, waggling his eyebrows up and down.
Lydia's brow furrowed in confusion. "...What?"
Beetlejuice jumped up from the couch, suddenly dressed like a cowboy - a really dead, really disgusting cowboy. "Awww, now...C'mon darlin', don't be shy..." he drawled, pulling her into him and causing her to gasp. "I mean, it was our first rodeo an' all, but surely it weren't that traumatizin', were it?"
Lydia, for lack of anything to say to his grossly exaggerative, outlandish behavior, simply stared at him, puzzled. What in the world was he rambling on about?
Beetlejuice stepped back, a pouty look forming on his face. "Awww, don't tell me. It got too crazy, didn't it. So, what happened, toots? Did I go too fast for ya'? Or maybe too rough...Too many whips? Chains? Stuffed animals? Oh, I know...I bucked ya off, didn't I? Well, you know what they say, Lyds, if at first you don't succeed..." he chuckled pulling her back into him.
"Wait, what?!" Lydia, annoyed by his insinuations, shoved him back. God, he was stupid. "You think we had sex the night I stayed over?"
"I don't think, I know." Beetle crossed his arms, leaning close with an air of arrogance about him. "When I woke up, you were sleepin' in my bed."
"Yeah, and you were on the couch! Doesn't that seem a bit off to you?" Lydia huffed, now wondering how she ever felt sorry for that lunatic in the first place. Maybe she was just as crazy he was. She did accept his invitation to stay, after all.
Lydia watched as his face scrunched up in a mixture of disappointment and a wounded ego. "Errrr...FINE! Well, if we weren't bumpin' uglies, then just what in the fuck were ya doin here?!"
Lydia grew quiet, now focusing on the various cigarette butts on Beetle's nasty carpet. She knew why she was there, and she felt more than foolish for it. She knew she could very easily lie or refuse to tell him, but was there really a point to it now? She was already dead, so things couldn't go too far downhill from there. Besides, she'd already apologized to him, and if apologizing to the likes of Beetlejuice wasn't rock-bottom, then nothing was.
"Well..." Lydia mumbled, still hesitant.
"Well...what?" Beetle growled, his irritability clearly increasing.
"I tried apologizing to you in the bar, but you were so wasted...I thought you'd passed out, but then you got up and started banging on the piano and saying Mozart was your second cousin. They threw you out, and you could barely walk so I helped you get here." she admitted, feeling utterly idiotic for telling him the truth. This was probably just more ammo for him. If there was one thing Lydia understood, it was that Beetlejuice was exceptionally clever, despite his often feigned foolishness. Anything a person revealed to him would be saved in his arsenal for later tormenting and manipulation. Of course, that wasn't nearly as concerning as the fact that she could sort of relate to him now, given her special set of circumstances. Even more unnerving was that her twisted feelings of regret were opening her up to being honest with him.
Lydia simply stared at Beetle, who seemed to pause after hearing her words, his face completely unreadable. He slowly pulled off his ratty cowboy hat, holding it over his chest. "Awww, sugar dumplin'! I didn't know ye cared!"
Lydia smirked, amused by his ability to become a complete smart ass at any given moment. "Well, not enough to have sex with you." she remarked sarcastically, not letting him fully enjoy his moment of annoying her.
Beetle grimaced briefly, tossing his cowboy hat to the side, as his signature striped suit returned. "Your loss, Babe." he commented, reaching into his suit pocket and pulling out a flask of liquor. He took a big gulp, wiping his lips on his sleeve as he walked toward his kitchen. "So, uh...What happened, Deetz? How'd you end up in these parts?" he asked, toning it down a bit.
Lydia followed quietly behind him, feeling her heart race when he asked the question. Her hand subconsciously rubbed her upper-thigh, as she fumbled about in her mind, trying to find the right words to say. "When I got here, I couldn't really remember, to be honest. It all seemed to happen so fast. One minute I was leaving a Halloween party looking for my fiance, and the next minute I was in the waiting room sitting next to a wet guy tied to a cement block." she chuckled nervously, feeling tense all over.
She watched as Beetlejuice seated himself at the kitchen table, propping his muddy boots on top of it. She winced slightly, realizing she'd previously eaten off that same table. He pulled an unlit cigarette out of thin air, placing it to his lips, as he motioned for her to sit. Beetle then flicked his thumb in a motion much like striking a butane lighter. A flame shot out from his hand as he brought it to the cigarette, inhaling and making a big spectacle of simply lighting a smoke.
Lydia seated herself, as Beetlejuice pushed his flask over to her. "Drink?"
"Uh...No thanks..." she answered, trying not to look too disgusted.
"Suit yourself," Beetle shrugged, grabbing it and indulging himself once more. "So, what happened?"
"Well, I was in there for a long time. I'm thinking months. Then I was called in to see my caseworker. She thoroughly chewed me out. She told me I should've never took you up on your offer...That you were a troublemaker..." she mumbled, not sure how he would take that part of the story.
Beetle's eyes narrowed, as he slowly sat the flask down. "Oh, she did, did she?" he growled, an evil grin forming on his face. "That ole' bag didn't go by the name Juno, by any chance, did she?"
Lydia slowly nodded, remembering how the old woman's face wrinkled in pure frustration when mentioning Beetlejuice. She remembered watching Juno suck hard on her cigarette, her vein ridden hand trembling with exasperated nerves, as smoke poured from the horizontal slit on her throat. It was obvious that the two had a very long, and very daunting history and that Juno wasn't very fond of the poltergeist's antics. From the predatory glare on Beetle's face, it was safe to say that the feeling was mutual.
Sighing, Lydia continued. "She told me that I was hit by a car, but that was it. The rest of the information regarding my death was confidential, and that I wasn't allowed to see it."
Beetle wrinkled up his nose, coughing on his cigarette smoke. "What? Why the hell not?!"
"Juno told me I was penalized for breaking a deal with you, and that meant that I was restricted from knowing the true nature of my death right away like most people who come here. She said I have to learn for myself, if I ever want to know. I was doomed to wander the Neitherworld until I found the answer..." Lydia sighed, feeling shaken inside from recalling just how terrified she felt waking up on the other side with no knowledge of how she'd arrived there. She then thought of the irony of how her seventeen year old self would have been ecstatic to have landed in the Neitherworld. Of course, that was ten years ago, and her gothic-inspired teenage angst had come and gone. Now, she was simply left with questions and no answers. She couldn't even channel her dearly-beloved Maitlands, seeing as they would know the details of her death from Charles and Delia. There was only one person in this strange and unusual place that knew her, and he was currently sitting across from her, picking bug legs out of his teeth.
"Damn..." Beetlejuice muttered, flicking a roach leg into the floor. "You got a shit deal, Deetz."
"Yeah, it sucks..." Lydia propped her chin on her fist, watching a colony of ants devour a moldy piece of bread in the corner.
Mesmerized temporarily by the sheer girth and number of said ants, Lydia slightly startled, hearing Beetle clear his throat uncomfortably. Her eyes darted back to him, watching an awkward look form on his face.
"Uh...So you got a fiance, right? I'm guessin that guy took a dirt nap, too, considerin' yer lookin' for him." he spoke, his tone flat and unreadable once again.
"I did have a fiance while I was alive." she muttered, feeling a twinge of painful memories well up in her chest. " I found his picture in the obituaries only a few days after I arrived in the waiting room. I couldn't read it, though. It was encrypted or something, and he must have had a different case worker, because he was never in there with me. I guess I can still call him my fiance...I'm not so sure anymore..."
Beetle gave her a confused look, raising a brow. "Isn't shit like that usually pretty simple? Either you two were gonna get hitched, or you weren't. Ain't that normally how it works?" he blurted out, with Lydia noting his trademark ability to be completely inconsiderate of even the most sensitive of subjects.
She could feel herself glare at him. "Yes, genius, that is normally how it works..." she spat irritably, actually feeling more frustrated with her past than Beetlejuice himself.
Beetle threw up his hands defensively. "Hey, easy there partner! No need to get all rabid and hormonal toward the ole' B-man! I know you womenfolk can have certain problems during certain times of the month an' all, and I know it can make ya real moody an' stuff, but-"
"Dear god, it's not that! Geeze! Just let me finish..." Lydia interrupted his bout of idiocy. "I mean, I still call him my fiance, but I really didn't know if our relationship was over before I died." Lydia could feel her voice grow raspy from the tense feeling in her throat. She watched Beetlejuice's face straighten somewhat, his green eyes narrowing in what seemed to be genuine curiousity.
"What happened?" he asked, this time without acting like a complete asshole.
"We were gonna get married. We set a date, and the time came, and..." Lydia stared at her thumbs, which she'd unconsciously began twiddling like a child. She briefly glanced up at the poltergeist, internally baffled by the strange expression on his face. It was kind of...serious. That was different. "I was the only one that showed up. I had no idea why he didn't come. I didn't get a call, a visit, word of mouth - nothing that told me why he decided not to marry me. " Lydia recalled, waiting for the moment when Beetlejuice would thoroughly rub it in her face and laugh hysterically as expected.
Strangely enough, he didn't. He just kept staring, his green eyes studying her from the black, hollowed skin surrounding them. "Damn, what a prick. You sure know how to pick 'em." he stated honestly, albeit bluntly.
"You're telling me." Lydia replied, shooting him a knowing look that she intended to include him in that statement as well.
He simply smirked, seeming ready to hear more. "So what about this party? I thought you said you and prince charmin' were together before you kicked the bucket." he commented, as Lydia nearly grinned from the ghost's unique way with words.
"I wasn't with him. I was looking for him. I hadn't heard from him, and it was his cousin's party. They were close, so I knew he'd be there. I dressed up, I went to the party, and I even asked around for him. I was told he hadn't arrived yet, and I remember going outside to get some fresh air while I waited for him. There was a park just across the street, and a bench. I started walking toward it, and all I remember is bright lights, and...well, now I'm here..." she shrugged, disturbed by the memories of her final moments.
"Pretty sure that's borderline stalking there, Deetz." Beetlejuice snorted.
Lydia glared, feeling angry that he was poking fun at her worst moments. Of course, she reminded herself that she was spilling her guts to Beetlejuice, of all people. What did she expect? She sighed, deciding not to argue for lack of energy to do so. It was draining enough to remember it, let alone argue over it. "I just wanted answers." she said, suddenly embarrassed by the pitiful tone of her own voice.
"Hate to say it, Babe, but I think you got yer answer. The asshole stood ya up." he stated, still seeming to hold back on what Lydia figured would inevitably turn into another subject to eternally torment her with. But then again, who could blame him. She'd done the same thing to him at one point. She'd went back on her word, even if he'd given her a dirty deal. It was still a deal, and he did save Barbara and Adam, after all. Beetlejuice, unlike herself, had kept his promise. Did that mean she was lower than him? Ugh...hopefully not.
"Yeah, I guess your right. He was avoiding me. That was a pretty clear 'no' to the marriage thing. It's just...I guess I wanted to know why. And deep down..." Lydia trailed off, suddenly stopping herself from revealing the most vulnerable part of herself. She looked back to Beetlejuice, who was clearly interested by the whole story, eagerly awaiting more.
"What?" he asked, trying to coax it out of her.
Ah, what the hell, Lydia figured. He knew everything else. "Deep down I hoped he'd change his mind. I hoped he'd take me back..." she spoke quietly, feeling ashamed of her desperation.
She looked timidly to Beetle, who seemed to be giving her the what the fuck look. Immediately feeling stupid, she blurted out, "I know, I know...I'm pathetic...You don't have to look at me like that..."
"Who said that's why I was lookin' at you like that?" he retorted defensively. "I just don't see why you'd waste your time on him, that's all. Sounds like a piece of shit to me."
"Really?" Lydia furrowed her brow, bewildered by his reaction. He seemed to be remotely on her side, and that made her feel strangely comforted. Then she figured she probably was crazy, after all.
"Yeah, really." he stated, his expression growing agitated. "Anyone who would stand someone up on their wedding day is a bit of an asshole, don't you think, Lyds? You know, someone who would go back on their word? Break a deal?" he spoke slowly and purposefully, emphasizing each part loud and clear. Maybe she'd reached her conclusion far too soon. Maybe he wasn't really on her side at all. Then again, he had every right to be bitter.
Lydia sighed, defeated. "Yeah, I guess you could say so...So that's why I wanted to tell you I'm sorry earlier. The same thing happened to me."
"Yeah, Karma can be a real bitch." Beetle commented smugly, seeming content to see her get what he must have felt was coming.
"Now I know how you feel. I mean, you didn't love me or anything, but you did get your hopes up. You wanted out, and I didn't make that happen..." Lydia continued, for the sole purpose of clearing her conscience. She didn't figure Beetle to be the forgiving type, so his reactions, however annoying, would be expected. The look on his face, however restrained, was also clearly resentful.
"...And you did save Barbara and Adam. I wouldn't have them if it wasn't for you. I know I didn't keep my side of the bargain, but I am grateful. I know you probably don't care, but thanks for...you know...saving them..." she mumbled, not sure whether to shut up or run out the front door, considering the look he was now giving her.
Lydia bit her lip worriedly, watching Beetle glare at her. She could have sworn she'd seen his eye twitch as he brought his chin to rest on his grimy fists. He licked his slimy, green teeth before flashing an evil grin. "...You know what, Deetz? You're a real piece a work, you know that? Ten years ago you was cryin' to me about wantin' in this dump...I make a deal with you, and I save your beloved Maitlands from bein' exorcized by Satan's interior designer, and you know what I get? Babs, the sweetheart that she is, trains a fuckin' sandworm to devour my ass whole! And while you guys get to be the mortuary's version of the Walton's, I get to wait five fuckin' years just to see that wrinkly bitch Juno's face scrunch up to tell me I gotta spend the next four locked up..." he growled, his voice low and unnervingly calm.
Lydia's eyes grew wide, observing his expression grow more dangerous with each word. The light overhead began to dim and flicker, as he grew in his rage. "Y-you've just been out a year?" she stuttered, feeling suddenly aware of his immense power again, and growing more fearful because of it.
"Hehe. Yer damn right I have. Now I see you all grown up - smokin' hot - and you show up with your nice ass and your sad stories. And then you expect me to just listen and tell you EVERYTHING'S PEACHY BETWEEN US! RIGHT, LYDS?! NO HARD FEELINGS?! HUH?!" his voice raised to a dangerously loud yell, as Lydia stood quickly, causing her chair to fall back and hit the floor. Oh, God. What had she done? Was she really stupid enough to believe that he'd take things even remotely well?
Out of fear and impulse, she bolted out of the room, heading for the front door a second time, only to find it bound up by freakishly large chains and locks. Against her own common sense, she began to pound on the door.
"Ah, ah, ah...We made a deal, Lydia Deetz. You still have to help me." Beetle spoke in her ear from behind, startling her enough to make her shriek.
"FINE! Fine! Just...don't do anything...bad..." Lydia whimpered, her back now against the chained door.
Beetlejuice leaned close to her, his taller form looming over her. She smelled his whisky and smoke laced breath, blowing cold on her face. His green eyes nearly glowed, as his forehead almost touched her own. "What's wrong, Babe?" he spoke, taunting her in a raspy voice barely above a whisper. It was at that moment that every light in the roadhouse went out, causing Lydia to gasp.
"You scared?" he finished, growing deathly silent. After a few moments, she wasn't even sure he was still in the room.
Lydia, not knowing what else to do, began to feel around in the dark. "Betel-" she stopped suddenly, her mouth somehow forced shut by his power.
"Nope. Can't have you sayin' the B-word, Babe. That's rule number one. Don't say that word, got it?" his disembodied voice echoed off the walls, as Lydia nodded frantically in the dark.
"Good. Now when folks go saying mah name in the world where people have pulses, then I'm fine. It just brings me there, and that's cool as hell. You go sayin' it here, though, and I have no fuckin' clue what it does. Okay, rule number two: you can't leave this house unless I tell you to, or we're square, kapeesh?" he snarled, his voice sounding like an Italian mobster toward the end.
Lydia sighed, nodding again. Why in the world did she agree to stay with him? Was she really that hell bent on self-destructing?
"And rule numero tres: you have to do what I tell ya - at least until you finish your side of the bargain. So, Lyds, what'll it be?" he hissed, his voice gaining momentum again, causing her spine to tingle in an unsettling way.
"Mm-hmm!" she grunted, nodding her head hysterically in an attempt to get him to turn off his special brand of misery.
"Alright, then..." Beetle said smugly, as Lydia heard the snap of his fingers. Suddenly, all the lights came back on, causing her to squint at their glaring brightness. She immediately felt of her mouth, which was now free, much to her relief. "Now that we got that outta the way, what're ya in the mood fer? Hmm? Poker? Drinks? Hot, kinky sex?" Beetlejuice sneered from across the room, holding another cigarette between his fingers. "You know, they say the angry kind's the best." he snorted, waggling his eyebrows.
What kind of fresh hell did she get herself into? Was a clear conscience really worth enduring Beetlejuice? Lydia gulped, realizing the magnitude of what she'd just done.
"C-can I just go to bed?" Lydia asked timidly, hoping to get as far away from him as possible within the confines of her new prison.
"Sure thing, Babe. I'll be right behind ya...Or on top of ya...Oh, hell, I'm feelin' generous. I'll let you take the reins, Peaches!" he snorted, clearly delighting in her torment.
"I'll just sleep on the couch..." Lydia muttered, disgusted with the images he was provoking.
Beetle shrugged, "Suit yerself." He then proceeded to leave the room, cackling hysterically, while leaving a trail of smoke behind him.