Chapter Thirty-Five

Letty would realize later how incredibly lucky they were in their timing: not only that Christian had seen the cops in time for them to slip away, but simply that Angelina had just finished nursing and fallen heavily asleep, allowing them to escape the hospital without her attracting attention and get well away from the town, as well, before having to stop to attend a fretful, hungry or wet baby.

They went through a McDonald's drive-thru to replace their abandoned breakfast before getting on the highway. "So, what's the plan?" Letty asked as she and her husband ate. "I know you've got one," she added.

Javier grinned. "You'll see. Don't worry." He had emailed Paulo the night before as he moved his car – and then called him to finalize things when the immediate reply showed his "brother" was still up and working.

Letty suddenly wasn't having any more mystery, though. "No, Javi... talk to me." That was going to need explaining. "That's how we went wrong before. We never talked to each other, never told each other what was going on. I was just as bad as you," she reassured him, "I'd just tell you to drive, and wouldn't even say where we were going till we got there. But we can't do that anymore. If we're going to make it as a couple, as a family... If we're going to be successful, and raise this munchkin up so she's not cuckoo, we have got to start talking to each other!"

Javier was slowly chewing the last bites of his McMuffin – he had missed those sandwiches these last months, and a corner of his mind had vowed to start making them for the kids before school some mornings. But he was also chewing over what she'd said, realizing the truth of it. "You're right," he replied slowly. "You're right..."

He was staring off into the distance, somewhere very far away. "Javi?" she brought him back.

"I was just trying to remember if I had ever witnessed that kind of talk in my own home growing up. I can't remember a single time when my parents actually discussed anything."

"So... let's be different! Talk to me! What's the plan?"

He took a sip of coffee. "We're headed to Orlando. We're going to go east and a bit north, first, to try to get around the worst of the hurricane's destruction, then go down I-95 to I-4. We'll take it easy and get there in a couple-three days."

"Why Orlando?" she wanted to know, and he grinned.

"Paulo, my boss, has a private jet. He flies to different ports a couple of times a month. This weekend, he's bringing his kids up to Disney – they need a break. They're flying up Friday evening, and back on Sunday – and on Sunday, he'll just have three extra passengers going back. We just have to get to the airpark and get on board. Tony, the pilot, will send me a message saying exactly where he parked."

"But I don't have a passport!" she pointed out, but he shook his head and laughed, telling her how they wouldn't be inspected at either end of that flight.

"He's a well-known and respected businessman in Ecuador, and as for the Americans, they never worry about people smuggling things out, only in."

"You're sure?" She was still nervous about the whole thing, but he smiled, reassuring her.

"Positive. By late Sunday night, you'll be settling into your new home, Señora Perez." It was only a four-hour flight.

"So how did you end up in Ecuador? Tell me everything," she demanded, and he did, settling in and walking through the last few months – everything but the truth about Miguel; that very painful revelation he saved for later.

"His wife?" Letty was dumbfounded at Sofina's arrest for her part in the affair.

"His ex-wife, but the mother of his two younger kids: Maribel and Paulito, fifteen and thirteen. Oh, but it gets worse. It's come out since then that the two of them, Sofina and Pablo, had planned to marry after everything was done. She was aiming at getting control of Paulo's entire estate – well, the half that would go to the younger kids, while they were minors – and good luck to them getting it away from her when they became adults."

"If any was left," Letty interjected, and he nodded.

"And he would become the President and CEO of the company, getting all those profits, and reaping whatever the drug cartels promised him for moving their product. They thought they were going to become ultra-rich, just raking it all in." He paused. "Anyway, that's why they could all use a break. It's been really bad at school, but the kids have been champs, toughing it out."

They drove for a bit in silence, thinking about what some people will do for money. Then Javier went on, filling in the details of his decision to return to find her, and finally, how that was accomplished.

"That was amazing timing," she complimented him, grinning, and he agreed.

"I could almost believe in angels," he quipped, then stretched. "Your turn. Letty... why couldn't I find you, even way back at the beginning? What happened to you? How did you drop out of sight so quickly, and stay hidden?"

How could she tell him what she had done? The shame and fear for the tiny baby riding behind her was still overwhelming. She turned to look out the window, tears prickling. "I... I can't," she finally got out. "I'll tell you later, when we stop. Not while we're driving." That didn't really have anything to do with it, but it would give her some time to come to grips with telling him.

She thought. He looked at her profile, strained and hurt – and suddenly wrenched the wheel over, taking the exit they were about to pass at the last second, down the ramp, and through the green light into a Wendy's, where he parked at the back, facing a little park. He shut off the engine and turned to her, unbuckling his seat belt without thinking and putting his long arms around his beloved.

"Okay, baby. We're stopped. Please... talk to me," he turned it back on her, his voice low and intense. "What happened?"

That started the tears for real. She turned back into his embrace and put her head on his shoulder – partly so she couldn't see his face, or he hers – and the story of how she'd lost him and then herself came tumbling out, until she'd sobered up in the hospital and discovered she was pregnant.

"So I've had them running every test they could think of, while I was pregnant and after she was born – that's why they ran so many tests on her in the hospital yesterday – to make sure she's okay."

"But she is okay," he put in, trying to reassure her. "Everything's fine."

"So far!" she wailed. "But something could still appear later – she could be developmentally delayed, have mental or emotional problems – anything!"

"And we'll be watching, like any parents, and if something does go wrong, we'll deal with it!" He wasn't quite getting it.

She shook her head against his shoulder, violently. "Javi... I will never ever be able to forgive myself if I damaged our daughter through my stupidity!" She burst into wild sobs.

There it was. Javier held her tight against him – as well as he could in a car, anyway – and let her get it out of her system for a few minutes while he thought it through. Then he began working his magic to soothe her and calm her down. "Shhhh, shhhhh. Hush, baby. Shhhhh." He pulled back slightly, making her sit up so he could see her face, wiping away the tears with his fingers. "Letty..." When he had her attention, he went on. "I forgive you," he said simply. She tried to shake her head, but he stopped her. "No, listen. Listen to me, baby. We can only be held responsible for the things we did knowingly, and you didn't know you were pregnant. You stopped the minute you did know, didn't you?"

"Yes, but – "

"No buts," he tried, but she wasn't having any.

"But the damage could already have been done!"

"But there isn't any damage that can be seen so far. And if there is, we'll deal with it, together. But you..." he paused for emphasis, "will not be held to blame. You didn't know. You didn't know. I forgive you. You have to forgive yourself."

He knew that wasn't going to go over well, and it didn't, as she began shaking her head. He rode over her. "Letty, you have to. Or else you'll always be so wracked with guilt over possibilities that you'll never be able to simply enjoy our baby, watching her grow. You'll never smile at her when you hold her. She'll never see you smiling or laughing, and she'll grow up wondering, 'Why can't I make Mommy smile? Why can't I make her laugh? There must be something wrong with me.' Letty... that's something I know about," he told her quietly. "Please... please... don't do that to our angel." He stopped a moment to let her absorb that. Her eyes were huge as she stared at him. "I forgive you. You need to forgive yourself, and move on. Trust yourself, and trust me, to watch over her, and simply love and enjoy her every minute. Okay?" She was silent, and a tiny smile stretched the corners of his mouth. "I want you to say it."

It took a minute, but she finally whispered, "I forgive myself."

"Again."

"I forgive myself," a little stronger. "I didn't know."

"And now keep repeating it, every day, until you believe it."

She snorted softly. "Fake it till I make it. Again."

"Yeah," he agreed. "That's a saying because it works."

"I'll try," she finally said. "That's the best I can promise."

"Okay." He pulled her back into his arms, kissing her forehead. After a moment, though, he couldn't help but backtrack. "You tried to kill yourself?" he asked, his voice suddenly cracking at the thought.

She nodded. "Slit my wrists. It didn't work – as usual." She had tried before; he remembered what he'd learned of her tracking her down the first day.

"Well, I can't pretend to be upset at that." His words were light, but the emotion in his voice belied the flippancy. He picked up her arm, intending to bring her wrist up to see if there was a scar – and stopped, puzzled, as he spotted the new tattoo. He held it out a few inches to read it. "SCS?" He looked into her eyes, puzzled and surprised. He never would have expected ink on her arm.

"It stands for Straight, Clean, and Sober," she said softly, and grimaced. "I needed the reminder, sometimes."

"Maybe I should get one," he said speculatively, and she snorted.

"You have never had a problem with clean and sober!"

"Yeah, but straight? I'm still working on that one." Bringing her wrist up to his lips, he tenderly kissed the tat and the scar it seemed to stitch together, then turned to pick up the other wrist to do the same.

That tat said something different, though. "JLM?" When she didn't reply immediately, he looked at her face, startled to see her nearly losing it again, her chin quivering. "Letty?"

"It's the only thing that kept me going through the night sometimes," she whispered brokenly through the new tears. It took her a couple more tries to get it out. "Javier Loved Me."

"Loves," he told her fiercely, emphasizing the S. "Always. Until my very last breath." And holding her face with both his hands, he kissed her, with all the passion he'd been keeping inside for months.

And then the baby started crying.

They broke the kiss slowly, reluctantly, sharing a rueful grimace. "I guess we're going to have to get used to that, aren't we?" Javier asked plaintively.

"Yup. Every couple of hours. For the next several months, at least." At his slightly terrified look, she laughed and clarified, "Well, the intervals will slowly get longer, anyway."

"Oh, that makes it much better." But she could tell his sarcasm was only skin deep. She started to unbuckle her seat belt, but he waved a hand. "Stay. I'll get her."

"Wait!" she suddenly cried as he started to open his car door. He turned back, startled and concerned. She knew she was being childish and ridiculous, but she couldn't help it. She pouted, only half playful. "I'm not balanced," she explained, and held up the JLM hand. "You didn't kiss this one."

Javier solemnly took that wrist and kissed the scar, making sure to do it exactly the same way and the same length of time as the first. "Better?" he asked.

"Yes. Thank you."

Then he grinned, and went to get the baby.