Chapter 22: Rude Awakenings
"BJ, are you sure this is the right place?" Lydia asked, her voice hushed as she crept behind Beetle toward what seemed to be a delapidated apartment complex.
"Oh, it's right...Believe me...I had access to all Dipshit's info, remember?" Beetle's voice turned a bit dark, alerting Lydia to the fact that this agreement to scare the shit out of Eugene may not have been her most lucid decision. Beetlejuice was unpredictable, after all. However, despite the loose cannon that she was currently following, a part of her wasn't really concerned with the risks involved. That man deserved at least a teensy pinch of the insane poltergeist's wrath, to say the least. Besides, Eugene was already dead, so it wasn't like Beetle could off him again. Or could he?
Biting her lip in reaction to the worry forming inside of herself, she shook said doubts away when Beetle motioned her to come closer. Of course, the doubts began to form once more when Lydia noticed just how dark and devious Beetle's expression had become. Though his demeanor was usually, for the most part, benign and obnoxious (and strangely very tolerable as of late), Lydia began to remember just how much of a menace Beetlejuice could truly be. To stir in an added dose of worry, she began to feel a heaviness to the air as she stepped up to the ghost. "Okay...We're here...Now what?" she asked nervously, noting just how intimidating Beetle had become in an instant. Holy shit, what was he going to do? Would they both end up in Neitherworld prison after tonight? Hopefully not.
Beetle's face curled into an expression that Lydia couldn't quite read. It was, well...weird. Like a cat biting into an electric wire. Or a mentally incapacitated hobo. Either way, it was that special brand of deranged that only he could pull off. "Well, you just follow me, Babe. I'll do all the heavy lifting, so-to-speak, and you, Sugarlips, can sit back and enjoy the ride."
"Sugarlips? Heh...That's a new one..." Lydia commented, amused by his ever-increasing list of nicknames for her. He was such a weirdo sometimes.
"Yer...Well...Whatever. I say shit all the time. Doesn't mean anything, Deetz." Beetle remarked, seeming almost...defensive? That was strange, Lydia mused. "Look, do ya wanna see Fuckwad piss his pants or not?" Beetle snapped, placing a hand on his hip in what seemed to be irritation.
The last thing Lydia wanted to do was piss Beetlejuice off right before he was about to indulge in a healthy dose of havoc. "Sorry...I'm just nervous..." she admitted, watching his stance fall slack and his manic expression soften. It was the truth, really. Not only because of Beetle's tendency to be, well, crazy, but because of the fact that she'd be seeing her ex for the first time since she'd had a pulse. That was some truly distressing stuff, and the memory of her living experience with Eugene still weighed heavy on her soul.
"Eh, don't worry about it, Deetz." Beetle muttered, gazing down at a large fly scurrying on the busted pavement.
Lydia nodded, eyeing the old apartment complex, which looked worse for wear - like practically everything else in the afterlife. "So...That's it. You just want me to follow you. In there." she replied, pointing toward their target.
"Well...yeah. How else are ya supposed to see Eugene in all his glory?" Beetle asked, making sure to lace the question with an extra dose of smart-ass.
Lydia rolled her eyes, smirking that Beetle seemed to hate the man so much, despite the fact he'd never really met the guy. It was almost sweet. Almost. "Yeah, yeah. I know. I have shitty taste in men. So sue me." she shrugged.
"Heh, wouldn't do me any good, Babe. Yer broke as hell." Beetle snorted, before oddly pausing and shooting her a telling look. "An' yer taste in menfolk ain't so bad. Remember, Dollface, you were once engaged to the most eligible bachelor in the Neitherworld. Can't do any better than that." he stated, waggling his eyebrows.
"Apparently not..." she remarked, knowing that her feigned disgust would get a rise out of him. Truthfully, however, he really wasn't that bad. Sure he may have been lewd, and annoying, and disgusting pretty much all the time, but he was good company. Hell, she'd already internally pleaded insanity long ago, so it wasn't much of a stretch to mentally admit she just plain enjoyed the guy. Being stuck with Beetlejuice wasn't the worst thing that could happen. Yeah, she was pretty fucking crazy.
She sniggered as Beetle glared a hole through her head. "Real funny, Deetz..." he muttered, his mood teetering between hehe smartass and say one more word an' I'll juice yer trap shut. Lydia did not wish for the latter to come to fruition, therefore she stopped her teasing. He was helping her after all. She didn't need to push it.
"Teasing, BJ! I'm teasing! It's a joke!" she giggled, watching the poltergeist cross his arms impatiently.
"Pffft...Whatever. C'mon, Deetz, before I change my mind..." he grumbled. Lydia nodded, suppressing the urge to grin.
To be such a loudmouth, BJ can be quiet when he wants to, Lydia mused, following his shadowy form down a dim corridor. She swallowed, feeling a mixture of fear and anticipation. A part of her wondered just what Beetle was going to pull off to traumatize Eugene, while a more unsettling aspect of herself feared seeing her ex and reliving the hurt and rejection he'd thrown upon her.
"Twenty-one...twenty-two...Ah, jackpot...Here she is, Deetz. Room number twenty-three! Loverboy and Bimbo's residence!" Beetle grinned devilishly, rubbing his grimy hands together in contentment.
A sharp pang rose up in Lydia's chest, causing her hand to fall there in reaction to it. "Uh, you mean he lives with her?" she nearly gasped, while simultaneously hating herself for having such a large reaction.
Beetle snorted, eyeing the door while seeming disgusted. "Heh...Talk about a downgrade..."
"Oh...uh...yeah. Eugene used to live in a really pinky-up neighborhood. This place is a dump..." Lydia mumbled, her mind rattled by the situation.
Beetle's face wrinkled into a bewildered expression, looking at her as if she had grown an extra appendage. "Not the apartment, Babe. I'm talkin' about the broad he's porkin'! Geez, Deetz! You wouldn't know a compliment if it climbed up an' bit ya on the ass!"
Lydia's mouth gaped open just a bit, finding herself caught off-guard by his comments. While it was sweet of him to say such kind things, being so near to Eugene at this point had deeply stifled her ability to be confident. Perhaps there was a reason she wasn't good enough for her ex. Perhaps this woman was better. "BJ...You don't have to be nice to me. It's okay. I can take it." she spoke, her pain seeping into her voice.
At her words, Beetle began to glare, apparently not pleased with her self-loathing tone. "Who the fuck said I was bein' nice? Deetz, you've seen enough to know I don't do nice. The B-man ain't fuckin' nice..."
Lydia eyed him a moment, and if it wasn't for the flood of pain, regret, and sorrow running through her undead veins, she'd be fascinated by his current behavior. However, her history came pouring back in with a vengeance. The feelings of being intoxicated in love with someone so unattainable, and that someone crushing her heart and killing her spirit in both senses of the word. Normal, level-headed Lydia would have been able to see it for what it was, but this wasn't normal, and it sure as hell wasn't emotionally stable. "Yeah, but you're nice to me. Look, you don't have to try and make me feel better, okay? I probably didn't meet his standards...She probably is better...I just need to face reality." she shrugged, tears forming in her eyes.
"What?! What the fuck, Deetz?" Beetle growled, exasperated. "I ain't tryin' to make yer ass feel better, Lydia! I'm telling you the truth! You are better than some dumbass broad! He's the dumb twat that left a chick like you! I don't know why the fuck yer about to cry over the bastard!" he hissed, looking completely irate. Lydia had no idea why he even cared so much about the matter. It was her deal, anyway. She simply froze, watching as he stepped up to her, narrowing his eyes.
"Wait...just...one...minute...Don't tell me you still got feelings for that miserable sack of shit! You do, don't you?" he seethed, grabbing her shoulders and causing her to feel incredibly uneasy. Just why was this happening?
"BJ...I-I don't understand..." she whimpered, halfway between fear and sorrow.
"Don't give me that horseshit, Deetz! Don't pretend you don't know...You know EXACTLY why I don't like that little prick. And you sure as hell know why I don't like you liking him! Quit playin' games with my ass! You KNOW! You HAVE to know! Hell, the whole fuckin' Neitherworld seems to know it, so don't tell me you're freakin' oblivious!" he hissed, his grip tightening just enough for her to feel pressure, yet not enough to actually hurt. If anything hurt, it was her tangled emotions. Just what was he trying to say? He was about as predictable as the lottery. And her chances of guessing right about him were about the same as winning it. He flip-flopped between emotions so much that he could make a sport out of it.
"Well...I don't know. I have no idea. I can barely think straight right now." she strained, looking straight into his frustrated glare.
"Errr...Ya really don't know, do ya..." Beetle's glare softened as he studied her face. "Well, I'll gladly inform you, Buttercup." he hissed, sarcasm thick in his voice. "I wasn't gonna say this, but yer bein' stupid as fuck, an' desperate times call for desperate measures." he continued, pulling her closer, their faces only inches apart. "In case you hadn't noticed, I think yer the shit, Lydia Deetz! Fuckin' perfection, okay?! There! You made me say this shit, so don't go feelin' all weird on me later for it! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna show this son of a bitch just how bad he fucked up when he fucked with you!" he growled, releasing her abruptly and causing her to stumble back in shock.
"And without further 'ado..." he grinned menacingly, his striped suit changing into a ratty gray suit and tie, while a dusty old briefcase formed in his hand. He turned to Lydia. "You can watch it or not, but he's still gettin' his just desserts. Bon' Appetit!" he snarled, before knocking on Eugene's door.
Lydia could only stand there, wide-eyed and full of shock as a tall, voluptuous bleached blonde opened the entrance. What the actual fuck was happening?