Chapter 24: Glorious Havoc
Lydia watched in horror as thousands of snakes and spiders began to crawl from every crevice. Insects began to scurry down from the ceiling at a frightening pace. Her lip quivering, she wiped at her eyes, backing away from the horrific plague that was forming in front of her. She backed away, tripping over the coffee table and landing back into the sofa, watching in horror as Eugene and his blonde girlfriend became surrounded by the creeping terror.
Beetle laughed maniacally, as his team of disgusting creatures intertwined, crawling in unison, and solidifying around the two helpless ghosts, forming two strange cages around their victims.
"There!" Beetle snapped, as his pests solidified, turning to stone.
Lydia gulped, watching the two of them weep and whimper, locked in Beetle's prison. This wasn't at all what she'd expected or wanted. She just wanted to scare Eugene and be done with it. She didn't expect her own feelings to be vomited back up in the process. She briefly glanced at Beetle, who was currently pacing around his cages with much pride, chuckling delightfully in the process. And she sure as hell didn't expect him to have anything resembling legitimate feelings, let alone for HER! And now he was, without a doubt, very pissed at her for something she didn't expect, let alone think about! Talk about a mess...
She watched him unconsciously while thoughts went running wildly through her head. She quickly glanced away when he turned, his glaring green eyes making contact with her own.
Lydia tried to look distracted while he paused, continuing to burn a hole through her with his eyes. Disturbingly enough, he began to hum to himself, as she stared at the broken lamp in the floor, listening to the sound of him striking a match. The smell of smoke filled the air as the sound of his footsteps drew closer to her.
"What is it, Deetz? I help you scare the shit outta this loser and now you're too good to look at me?" his gruff voice hit her ears, causing a chill to travel up her undead spine.
Lydia inhaled, and turned to him, a part of her afraid of his unpredictability, and the other part simply embarrassed that the asshole had made her cry over the other asshole. "No. Are you finished now?" she asked dryly, partly out of spite. Why did he have to be such a dick? Why was everything so extreme with him, anyway? Either Beetlejuice was a hysterical mess with the morality of a used car salesman, or he was a scary, tempermental prick. The former had been easy enough to tolerate, and hell, even consider as a friend. Of course, the latter was a nightmare, plain and simple.
He kneeled down, blowing smoke into her face as he spoke. On purpose, of course. "Heh heh heh...Yer funny, Deetz. Reeeaal funny...You were wantin' him scared. Mission accomplished." he grinned slyly, gesturing to the cages, where Eugene was still whimpering. "But that ain't what's in the contract, Babe..."
"What do you mean?" Lydia furrowed her brow, a sinking feeling forming inside of her.
Beetle took a long drag from his cigarette, blowing it in her face again, causing her to cough furiously. "See for yerself." he chuckled, standing and pulling the contract from thin air. He threw it to Lydia, who fumbled it a bit, caught off guard by his menacing demeanor.
As she opened it and began to read, she became horrified by what Beetle had placed in there. "Your prisoners forever? You give yourself permission to do with them as you please? Are you serious?" she asked, dumbstruck by the absurdity of it all.
"Yup." he grinned, seeming proud of his strupid trick.
"But why?" Lydia asked, truly baffled. She realized he didn't care for Eugene in the least, but this was a bit extreme.
"'Cause I can. 'Cause I feel like it, Deetz. The Ghost With the Most, remember? What the fuck is stoppin' me? You sure as hell ain't." he scoffed, causing Lydia to become highly irritated.
"Look, if this has to do with what you told me...I had no idea! You can't punish them for something you're pissed at me for!" she reasoned. Of course, Beetle wasn't a creature of reason. He was a creature of booze and stupidity, and doing whatever the hell he wanted.
"Oh, that's where yer wrong. I can and I will. I've been waiting to give Romeo what's comin' to him. Not like anyone gives a shit about me. Why should I give a shit about your little lover boy? Matter of fact, why should YOU give a shit about him? He left yer ass! Just like a fuckin' broad! Always swoonin' over the dickwad's that don't give a shit! You wouldn't know a decent guy if he came up and bit ya on the ass!" he ranted, as Lydia became amazed by just how bitter the ghost was.
This was absurd. "Really?!" Lydia scoffed in amazement, now thoroughly pissed off by his accusations. "And you would? You're the one who's sleeping around twenty-four seven! Going to strip clubs, buying hookers, getting kicked out of bars! Maybe if you weren't such a dickhead, you'd have a better chance! Maybe if you weren't so disgusting and mean, maybe if you weren't always drunk and desperate...and..."
"ENOUGH, LYDIA!" he yelled, his eyes on fire with anger as a nearby light shattered with his rage. "I'm a fuckin' loser, okay?! There, ya wanna hear it? I do all that shit because nobody gives a fuck about me! This bein' dead shit ain't what it's cracked up to be! I hate it, okay?! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna send these bitches to Saturn! Then, I'm out! Ya' hear me?! Take the fuckin' Roadhouse! Take it all! I'm marryin' some hot, drunk bitch, then ya won't see me again!" he seethed, storming away from her and opening up the ground in front of them.
Lydia stood, horrified. "No..BJ! Don't! Don't do it!" she began to beg, hoping he'd have some semblance of empathy left. "Please? I'm sorry, okay! I didn't know!"
"Too late fer sorry now, Toots." he growled, grabbing a bottle of whiskey out of thin air as a large conveyor belt formed under the two cages, slowly leading them to the open portal before them. Eugene and his lover were both frantically screaming and begging to be freed.
Beetle took a swig, before leaning on a nearby wall and chuckling to himself. "Nice view from here! You guys'll take a nice, looooong vacation. Hope you two like exercise, cause you'll be doin' a lot of runnin' where yer goin'! HAHAHA!" he laughed hysterically.
Lydia ran to the cages, hopelessly pulling on the bars, as if to pull them off the track. Of course, they were far too heavy for her to do any good. "Beetle, please! Stop!" she begged again.
"Ya didn't care if I was turned to Sandworm shit. Hell, they won't die, Deetz! They're already dead!" he cackled, his bottle of whisky half finished.
"I told you I was sorry, you asshole! Stop it!" Lydia commanded, watching with wild eyes as Eugene's cage came closer to the abyss.
"Nope."
"I said stop it!" she continued, feeling a strange feeling of rage well up inside herself.
"Negative."
"I mean it! Stop it!" she yelled a bit louder, the strange emotion feeling like a ball of energy inside her.
"Nuh-uh." Beetle scoffed, finishing his drink and throwing it down the literal wormhole. "I told ya, Deetz. Ya ain't gonna stop me. Loverboy's gonna take the leap. Unfortunately, Toots, it ain't with you, if ya get mah drift! HAHA!" he cackled.
The feeling was so huge, it consumed her at this point. "I...said...STOP IT!" she yelled, feeling electricity flow through her ghostly veins. As the last two words left her lips, a giant, invisible wave of energy flew from her, releasing her from that terrible feeling of rage inside. At that instant, his prisoners cages and chains crumbled, along with the conveyor belt. The portal began to shake, closing in on itself. Eugene and his blonde mistress stumbled away, running out the front door in sheer terror.
Lydia stood, eyes wide, completely and utterly dumbfounded. "Holy...shit..." she whispered, unable to believe what had just happened.
She glanced to Beetle, who stood, equally as stupified. "What the fuck? Nobody told me you'd be that powerful. Juno, you old bitch...Coulda' filled me in. Shit." he muttered to himself, apparently forgetting his anger for a second.
"My powers? I have powers now?" Lydia asked, already realizing the answer. That was right. She was supposed to gain her ghostly powers once confronted with the truth of her death, and that had aready happened. That meant...
"Whoopty-doo. Good for you, Deetz. You'll need 'em, since ya won't have me around to zap shit into existence for ya anymore." Beetle replied, half sulking, half bitchy and angry.
"I-I can visit my family again...I can visit Dad..a-and Barbara..." she smiled to herself, relieved that at least some good would come out of this. All the while, she was completely ignoring Beetlejuice, not realizing that he was still irate, and growing more pissed by the second. "I just need to figure out how..."
"Well don't come askin' me! I told ya. I'm out." he growled, now walking out the front door.
"Wait!" Lydia yelled, running to catch up. Yes, things sucked. Yes, things went all to shit, but she hadn't seen her family since she'd passed. Right now, the thought of seeing their faces overshadowed even the worst emotion she was feeling before. It gave her hope. "Just tell me how to get home, at least. Please!"
"You really don't give a shit, do you?" Beetle remarked, with Lydia sensing a bit of genuine pain in his voice. He paused a moment, staring at her with a baffled look.
"Well, it's not that. I-I just..."
"Wrong again. Go fuck yerself, Deetz." he spat, before vanishing in a green cloud of smoke, which promptly formed into a middle finger. Real classy.
Lydia sighed, dropping to the floor in the hallway. Damn things were messed up right now.