A/N: I can't believe I put this story off for almost two months, I really hate doing this. Also, I may have to cut this arc short because there's not much to flesh out at this point since I have some other ideas for future chapters. But I digress, let's get back into this shall we?
Chapter 3: Ed Piece - Part 2
The Thousand Sunny (One Piece Universe)
Luffy's ship sailed across the sea with his crew, the heroes and the Eds in tow. The Straw Hat captain was drawing on a sketch pad while Eddy was posing on a deck chair. Luffy has been drawing for about an hour and his creative process has made Eddy impatient. "Are you done yet, Luffy? I've been lying down like this for Lord knows how long! My arm's cramping!" Eddy groaned as he tried to maintain his pose.
"Aaaaannnnd... DONE!" chimed Luffy as he put the finishing touches on his drawing of Eddy.
"Ooh, lemme see!" exclaimed Eddy as he took a peek at Luffy's masterpiece, but frowned once he glanced at it. "Luffy, I thought you were drawing me."
"I was, but then I started thinking about what bananas with breasts would look like, so I drew that instead. Whaddeya think?" Luffy asked with anticipation.
"Well, it's... um... uh, hey Naruto! Check it out! Luffy drew a picture of a banana with boobs!" Eddy smiled as he showed the picture to Naruto.
"Really? I wanna see!" Naruto said excitedly as he looked at the picture but suddenly looked as though he was about to hurl. "OH DEAR GOD! Luffy, why would you draw this!?!"
Luffy and Eddy started to laugh hysterically at their friend's reaction. "You really fell for it, whiskers! BWAHAHAHA!!!!" guffawed Eddy, as he fell onto the deck laughing.
"You guys are very mature aren't ya?" Naruto said sarcastically.
Meanwhile, Goku, Edward, Usopp, Nami, Edd and Sanji were standing on deck when Chopper returned from the Sick Bay to deliver some cheerful news.
"The survivors are doing just fine, guys. They just need to rest for a while until we can get them to dry land." informed Chopper.
"Well, that's great, Chopper. We'll just turn them over to the Marines and we'll be on our way, right?" Sanji asked while smoking a cigarette.
"Actually, that's not gonna happen." Chopper said nervously.
"How so?" replied Nami.
"Well, one of the survivors told me that the Marines... they no longer have control of the seas." Chopper said, which made Usopp, Sanji and Nami gasp.
"WHAT?! Whaddeya mean they don't have control anymore?! How did that happen?!?" trembled Usopp.
"So these Marines, do they happen to maintain law and order in the Grand Line as well as the rest of the world's oceans? Correct me if I'm wrong, of course." Edd weighed in on the conversation.
"Yeah, and us pirates usually don't get along with them. But like Yin and Yang, we can't live in this world without one or the other." Sanji elaborated.
"One of the surviving officers that was on the Marine's ship said that it was because of a new pirate named Captain Cobbler." Chopper continued. "He's the leader of the Cobbler pirates whom just recently have started terrorizing commercial vessels, as well as Marine ships and other pirate crews. He's also the same guy that trashed their ship."
"Geez, he sounds like a real bastard to me." said Edward.
"But what about the Marines? Can't they do anything about this?" Goku asked.
"The World's Government has decided to pull out the Marine vessels and restrict other civilian ships to reduce the casualty rate. We're pretty much on our own since pirates aren't bound to the Government's rules and regulations. But we can still take the survivors to the nearest Marine port so they can get the help they need." Chopper finished explaining which overwhelmed the three Straw Hats.
"What then, though? We can't hide from this Captain Cobbler guy. He's probably out hunting pirates as we speak. We don't even know what he's planning to do." reminded Edward.
"Yeah, even if we found him (or if he finds us) how are we gonna fight him? He's got an enormous ship, an army and everything." Nami said hopelessly.
"I think I can be of assistance!" chimed Yuna, who scared the latter by surprise.
"There you are, Yuna! Where have you been?" Edd inquired to the cosmic being.
"I was tracing the negative energy to somewhere here in the Grand Line when I stumbled upon Captain Cobbler and his crew. I have plenty of information that you guys can use to help in your mission. I just need you all to gather everyone on this ship for a briefing." informed Yuna as Edd, Edward, Goku and the Straw Hats did as told.
Soon the entire ship was gathered on the main deck of The Thousand Sunny to discuss Yuna's findings. The cosmic girl set up a projector and a projection screen for her presentation. Once the Eds, heroes and Straw Hats have sat down, Yuna began her presentation.
"Good evening, everyone. As you know, a pirate named Captain Cobbler has been on a recent rampage in this world and--" Ed suddenly raised his hand, interrupting Yuna's speech. "Yes, Ed?"
"When's recess?" Ed asked.
"Not now, Ed, I'm in the middle of something important." Yuna reprimanded Ed. "Now as I was say--" Ed raises his hand again.
"What?" Yuna glared at Ed, her voice sounding slightly agitated.
"How can my feet smell if they don't have a nose?" Ed asked another useless question which made Yuna more impatient with him.
"I don't care, Ed. Please, be serious with me." Yuna said irritably.
"Oh, okay." nodded Ed.
"Anyway, I have already calculated the--" Yuna was once again interrupted by Ed again.
"I have another question." acknowledged Ed, before being hit in the face by a shoe, which was thrown by Eddy.
"Shut up and let her finish, stupid!" snapped Eddy.
"Thank you, Eddy." thanked Yuna as she continued her presentation. "While I was tracking down the negative energy affecting the multiverse, I traced it back to Captain Cobbler's ship. I sent some of my drones to scout the interior of the ship. This is a video of a private meeting held in the Captain's Quarters on the ship."
Yuna plays a clip of the meeting between Captain Cobbler, Blackbeard, Big Mom, Sir Crocodile and Donquixote Doflamingo. 'Help me take down the World Government, and the Miracle Worker will pay you handsomely.'
"No way! Is that who I think it is?!" gasped Zoro, looking at the images of the four pirates that attended the meeting.
"Blackbeard? Doflamingo? What are they doing there?" Franky asked.
"Oh, god, not Big Mom! I still see her in my nightmares! This couldn't get any worse!" cried Brook.
"Even with Crocodile in the picture, how can it not get worse?" added Robin.
"One of the drones have also infiltrated the cargo hold and found this." Yuna showed still images of the cargo that was contained in the bottom of The Cobbler, which shocked the Straw Hat crew to the core.
The images showed crates filled with Devil Fruit as well as tankards of red-black liquid.
"Devil Fruit?! Why do they need so many of them?" Usopp exclaimed.
"Isn't it obvious? They're going to raise an army of Devil Fruit-users." said Sanji.
"And they're planning on overthrowing the government. This guy has gone from bloodthirsty pirate to anarchist." added Eren.
"Wait a minute, play that video again." ordered Edd as Yuna played the video of Cobbler again. "Eddy, does Captain Cobbler look familiar to you?" inquired Edd while he analyzed Captain Cobbler's facial features in the video.
"Hmm..." Eddy pondered for a moment before giving an answer. "Nope."
"Are you sure? Because from the looks of it, he looks like someone we know." Edd asked.
"Now that you mentioned it, he does have a large cleft chin. It kinda reminds me of Shovel Chi-- oh no." Eddy finally realized the identity of Cobbler.
"Eddy? Do you know who that is?" Naruto asked.
"Him? Oh that's just Kevin. He's just someone we know from the Cul-de-sac." Eddy explained.
"Just like Rolf, huh? Man, you guys aren't very popular at home aren't you?" Goku figured.
"Believe it or not, we were beginning to gain some common ground with the other kids. Before that, however, we always seemed to get into trouble with them. It's a little complex." Edd explained.
"HEY! I remember him!" exclaimed Natsu, surprising those around him. "Before I went crazy and tried to kill you guys, I remember falling from the sky and running into Kevin! He called me a dork and rode off on his bike right before I blacked out. I know I'm use to name calling, but that was kinda uncalled for."
"Yup, that's our Kevin alright!" said Ed happily.
"It looks like he's under the same spell as Rolf was." deduced Edward.
"Correct. In fact, I think the negative energy may be emanating from the weird liquid in the cargo hold. That could be the key to whatever is making the multiverse go haywire." Yuna assumed. "We won't know for sure until we can take a closer look into the ship's cargo."
"So you want us to sneak aboard the Cobbler with two Yonko on board? Well, that's not gonna go wrong at all." Zoro said with a sarcastic tone. The latter went silent, however, when Luffy stood up with a stoic expression.
"It may be our best option, Zoro. If it means that our entire world is depending on all of us working together, then so be it." Luffy said with a straightforward tone.
"My, how courageous." Edd said admirably.
"I believe the best course of action would be to infiltrate the ship by means of working undercover. Luckily, Big Mom is throwing a 'tea party' in celebration of the alliance with Captain Cobbler." Yuna suggested.
"I'm glad you brought that up, because I have a plan." Eddy said insistingly.
"Hey, look! Someone left a picture of a banana! And its got boobs!" Goku said, picking up Luffy's explicit drawing and examining it.
"Boobs?! Lemme see!" Sanji said excitedly with blood dripping from his nose.
Naruto suddenly snatches the picture from Goku's hands, crumples it up and throws it into the ocean.
"Why did you do that, Naruto?" asked Goku.
"It's best if you didn't know." flushed Naruto, leaving both Goku and Sanji completely confused but went along with it.
The Cobbler
Captain Cobbler stood on the forecastle deck of the metal pirate ship when received a text message from a sender named 'MW', presumably the Miracle Worker. The text read: 'Have they finally agreed, yet?'
Cobbler replies to the message by typing on the keyboard on the phone. 'Yes, the plan is already under way. Plus, I have collected their blood samples. You should have them soon.'
Excellent, Leader 2.' replied MW. 'Did they ask for anything in return?''Yes, they have A LOT of requests in your favor.' texted Leader 2. 'You are going to grant them their wishes, right?"
MW was silent before responding once more. 'In due time. Btw, have you heard from Leader 1, yet?'
'No. Why?' Leader 2 responded.
'I've lost contact with him earlier. Couldn't get a hold of him. The other Leaders didn't hear from Leader 1 at all. I have sent my best agents to look into it. As of now, I suggest you finish your mission ASAP.' commanded MW.
'Okay, whatevs.' replied Leader 2 as MW ended their conversation. He climbs back down to the main deck to attend Big Mom's tea party.
Meanwhile, a pirate bouncer was chaperoning the guests that boarded the Cobbler. One guest in particular tried to sneak his way onto the ship when the bouncer stopped him. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it. You can't come in here, I need to see if you're on the list."
"Of course I'm on the list! Do you not know who I am?" The guest said with a roguish accent.
"Well, then, what's your name?" The bouncer asked, looking through the list.
"I'm Captain Jack Sparrow." The man said.
"I have a Joe Spearmint." said the bouncer.
"No, no, it's JACK SPARROW! Not Joe Spearmint. Also, it's Captain." corrected Jack.
"Hmm, let's see... uhh, nope. No Sparrow here." The bouncer replied as he looked through the list of names.
"Oh, that's a shame. Tell you what, though, how about you let me on board, and in exchange I'll give you this jar of dirt." offered Jack, offering the bouncer a jar of dirt.
The bouncer stared at Jack unconvincingly for a few moments until he gave his answer. "Eh, works for me. Come right on in." The bouncer accepts the jar and allows the pirate captain to board the ship.
"Ooh, I hope they have rum!" Jack said gleefully as he stepped onto the ship.
Another group of guests approached the gangway as they were stopped by the bouncer. "And who are you supposed to be?"
"I'm glad you asked, my fine gentleman. My name is Captain Dab of the Dab Pirates." greeted the clearly disguised Eddy. "And this is my crew, the Dab Pirates."
Eddy introduced his 'crewmates', who were actually Ed, Edd, Goku, Naruto, Edward, Natsu and Eren, also in disguise. Once Eddy introduces his crewmates, they all dabbed in reply.
"Captain Dab? Let's see..." The bouncer checked the list, but Eddy lowered the list down in persistence.
"Aw, you don't need no list to prove that we're the real deal!" Eddy insisted.
"I don't know, you guys seem conspicuous to me. Especially that guy with the horse head." The bouncer pointed to Goku, who was wearing a horse mask.
"Neeiiiigggghhh!" Goku neighed.
"How about we let this slide and in exchange for letting us on board, I'll give you 25 cents." Eddy insisted, offering the bouncer a button, instead of a quarter.
"Eddy, why did you give that man a button instead of a quar--" Edd whispered but Eddy pokes him in the belly to keep him quiet.
"Ix-nay on the Alking-tay, Double D!" hissed Eddy.
"Is this a joke?" said the bouncer, staring at the latter conspicuously.
"N-not at all! How about two buttons-- I mean, quarters?" Eddy gave a counteroffer, giving another button to the bouncer.
"Normally, I would throw you guys off the gangway for trying to bribe me, but since you make an enticing offer, I'll gladly accept it. Go right ahead." The bouncer allowed the party to board the ship without any further questioning.
"And a Happy New Year to you, sir!" Ed thanked the bouncer as he joined the others on the ship.
"That was a lot easier than I thought it would be." Eren said, surprised by how gullible the bouncer was.
"So what do we do now, Eddy?" Naruto asked the short Ed-boy.
"Okay, while Luffy and the other pirates sneak into the cargo hold, we're gonna lay low up here so that we would be ready to get the drop on Kevin when he's exposed. Until then, though, just enjoy the party." Eddy informed the gang quietly as they all gave a confirmed nod and went their own way.
As the party went on, Luffy and his crew were hiding in barrels in the cargo hold, which they stowed away in so that they would be picked up by the Cobbler's crew. Usopp peeked through a small hole in the barrel to see if there were any enemies nearby. When he gave the all clear, the Straw Hats jumped out of their barrels and grouped together in case they were ambushed by anyone who discovered them. They moved in silence and listened for any intruders that came their way.
They came across two guards that were patrolling the cargo hold. Robin and Nami snuck up behind them and knocked them out. Sanji and Brook unlocked the steel door that led to a restricted part of the hold while Luffy and Zoro stood watch. Once they opened it, the party ran inside without making a noise and they close the door behind them.
"Whew, that was a close one." whispered Brook as he breathed a sigh of relief.
"That was just the easy part. Now comes the hard part." Luffy said quietly. He presses a button on the communicator in his ear to talk to Yuna. "Okay, Yuna, we've dound the Devil Fruit. What now?"
'Okay, first things first, I need you to collect a sample of the red liquid so that I can test it. As for the Devil Fruit, just do what you need to do to make sure it doesn't end up in Cobbler's hands.' ordered Yuna as she spoke through the communicator.
"I'm on it!" said Nami as she went over to the tankard to retrieve a sample. She climbs up onto the tank and unscrews the lid. When she does so, the liquid emitted a foul odor that filled the entire room, petrifying everyone's nostrils.
"Oh, god, what is that?! It's disgusting!!" exclaimed Robin as she covered up her nose.
"That's the same stuff they messed with our minds with, isn't it?" exclaimed Zoro.
"Well, you can really tell by the way something smells, you know!" Brook said nasally.
"Let's just get this crap, destroy the Devil Fruit and get out of dodge! Sanji, gimme your ladle!" ordered Nami as the cook tosses her the ladle. The red-headed girl dipped the ladle into the vat of the red liquid and pours it into an empty bottle. "Got it!"
"Alright, now all that's left is to get to the others and stop Kevin! Then Chopper and Franky will come pick us up once we're done!" Luffy said confidently.
"Wow, that sounds like a great plan, if you're around long enough to execute it." said a chilling voice which sounded way too familiar to the Straw Hats. They all turn to see Blackbeard standing in their presence. "Hello, Luffy. Back from holiday already?"
Back at Big Mom's Tea Party
While the Eds and the heroes waited for Luffy and the Straw Hats to give their signal, they started to enjoy themselves despite having to focus on the task at hand. Goku, Naruto, Natsu and Eren were eating at the buffet, gorging on the meals they served there. The Saiyan, the Shinobi and the Dragon Slayer ate just for the fun of it, while Eren ate as he was suffering the munchies, a side effect of the marijuana that Sanji gave him earlier.
Edd was also there watching the others eat, which disgusted him due to their lack of table manners. Suddenly, a large shadow casted over him which frightened the poor lad as he turned around to see Big Mom looking down on him like a buzzard. He was repulsed by Charlotte Linlin's haggard appearance, but kept a formal face and smiled as he greeted the large woman.
"Um, hello. Nice to meet you, Ms..." Edd said nervously while trying not to react rudely to the Yonko pirate.
"Charlotte Linlin, or Big Mom as everyone calls me! My, you seem like a very thin young man. Have you been eating right?" Big Mom asked concernly.
"Actually, yes, I have. I always eat a balanced meal everyday. Starting with breakfast, then lunch and finally--"
"DESSERT?!" boomed Big Mom, making Edd shrink with intimidation.
"N-no, dinner. Dinner was what I was about to refer." said Edd anxiously. "Although, dessert is good on occasion."
"But NOW is the PERFECT occasion! Here, have a bonbon! It'll add some meat to your thighs and it will make you look beautiful like me!" grinned Big Mom, offering Edd a chocolate bonbon.
"Thank you, but I may have to decline. For you see I am not hungry at the moment." Edd rejected the offer politely, but the Yonko woman wasn't about to let up.
"I am trying to be a good hostess and you are trying to make me look bad by being rude to me! Either you EAT this bonbon or so help me, God, I will take your neck and SLAM your HEAD into the FLOOR of this ship until your BLOOD gives the deck a fresh coat of paint! Now, eat it, or I... WILL... KIIIIIILLLLLL YOOOUUUUUUU! Understand, child?" seethed Big Mom quietly as her whole arm shook with rage while she took Edd's arm forcefully and shoves the bonbon into his hand.
The sock-headed Ed-boy went pale when Big Mom made promise on her threat. He had no choice but to do what she said by eating the bonbon and swallowing it whole. Edd smiled upwards at the gigantic woman, whose hellish glare suddenly turned to a joyful smile.
"Good boy! Here, have some more! You need to be big and fat so you can get married and have as much wedding cake as you want!" Big Mom smiled comfortingly as she gave more bonbons for Edd to eat out of fear rather than out of the 'kindness' of her heart.
Edward and Eddy were on their own as well as Ed was out on the dance floor doing some weird dances.
"Man, look at Lumpy go! He really knows how to do... whatever the heck he's doing!" exclaimed Eddy, watching his doof of a friend do some strange dance moves.
"You put your hands on your hips! You bring your knees in tight! But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane!" instructed Ed as everyone on the dance floor did what he did, which resulted in a multitude of them falling flat on their butts and faces, making Edward and Eddy chuckle at them.
"Ed really is something, isn't he?" smiled Edward. "He may be dumb, but he comes with a lot of perks."
"Yeah, Monobrow is a real card isn't he?" smirked Eddy when he notices a certain man in a pink feathered boa and sungalsses, flirting with a group of women. "Look at that guy, he's got more game than I do!"
"Eddy, you know that's Doflamingo, right?" Edward reminded the big-mouthed Ed-boy.
"Yeah, so? Give him credit, he is pretty attractive. No homo, though." Eddy said apprehensively.
"That's not the point. I'm saying that we should avoid him in case we get his attention." warned Edward.
"Puh-leaze, Edwardo. In these disguises, we're like chameleons, we blend in naturally. But when the time is right, we strike like a deadly snake!" boasted Eddy when he suddenly goes wide-eyed upon seeing Sir Crocodile standing behind Edward.
"What?" Edward asked until he looks behind him and sees Crocodile. He stutters for a moment before turning back to glare at Eddy. "Oh, like chameleons, huh?"
"Hello there, young man. I noticed your metal arm and I couldn't help but admire it." Crocodile said, admiring the craftsmanship that was made into Edward's automail arm.
"Uhh, thanks. It's made from automail." replied Edward haphazardly.
"Automail, huh? Never heard of it, but I do like how you crafted this piece into a working arm. Makes me jealous for my old hand." Crocodile said, referring to his missing hand that was replaced with a gold hook. "So, what happened to your arm?"
Edward hesitated when Crocodile asked him that question. The real reason why Edward lost his arm and leg was too personal and, in his eyes, shameful. "I lost it in an industrial accident. As well as my leg." Edward lied, even though Crocodile knew nothing about alchemy, Edward couldn't bring himself to reveal the truth. Especially since he might risk blowing his cover.
"I see." said Crocodile, rubbing his chin with his hook. "You wanna know how I lost my arm?"
"Um, sure, I guess." Edward accepted, gesturing to Eddy that he would take care of Crocodile. The short Ed-boy went and joined Ed on the dance floor. "Okay, lemme hear it."
Cargo Hold
Luffy and the Straw Hats were cornered by Blackbeard who looked down at the pirates with malice. "I knew there was something in those barrels we picked up along the way. You didn't think I was stupid enough to fall for that, did you?"
"Pretty much so, yeah." replied Sanji, irritating the Yonko pirate.
"What are you gonna do now, Teach? You gonna alert the entire ship?" retorted Zoro.
"I was gonna do that, but then I came with a better idea: Killing all of you myself. So tell me are there any other stowaways that came with you that I should know about?" inquired Blackbeard.
The other pirates refused to say, but the Yonko could already tell just by the look on their faces. "Thought so." Blackbeard smirked evilly.
"Over my dead BODY! HIYAAA!!!" cried Luffy charging straight at Marshall D. Teach with an enlarged fist. The Yonko used his Dark-Dark ability to block Luffy's attack.
"Everyone get outta here, I'll take care of Blackbeard from here!" commanded Luffy as the pirates escaped the cargo hold without hesitation.
"I've been waiting a LONG time for this, Luffy! Tell Ace that I said 'Hello!'" Blackbeard grinned as he and the Straw Hat captain struggled before Luffy unleashes his Third Gear.
"I am far from dead, Teach, and so will my nakama! If you hurt them, you're gonna answer to ME! HHHAAAAAA!!!!" screeched Luffy, picking up Blackbeard and throwing him against one of the tankards. The tankard cracked open and was spilled all over Blackbeard and the Devil Fruit in the crates.
Luffy reverted back to his original form, panting from the energy he used to throw Balckbeard.
"Luffy, come on!" yelled Nami as Luffy heads towards the exit with his crew.
"Get back here you little bastard!" yelled a dazed and confused Marshall D. Teach as he sniffed the liquid that coated his body. "Ew, what is this stuff, OIL?! That's just nas-- oh, my head."
Blackbeard fell to his knees as the dark-red liquid altered his mind... and body. The Devil Fruit also started to glow red and grew roots. The Yonko choked and gargled before losing consciousness.
Back on the main deck, the party continued on with the heroes and Eds still waiting on Luffy and his group. Naruto grew tired of eating and began to grow impatient. "Where are those guys? They've taken an awful long time."
A hand popped out from under the buffet table and tugged at Naruto's pant leg. "Naruto! Naruto! Down here!" whispered a voice which belonged to that of Edd.
"Double D? Why are you hiding under the table?" Naruto asked as he crouched down but was dragged underneath the table with haste. "Hey! What are you doing, Double D?"
"I'm sorry I had to do that Naruto, but I didn't have any other choice! That Charlotte lady, or whatever her name is, kept force-feeding me dessert until I couldn't breathe!" Edd explained with fear in his voice. "Fortunately, I got away from her when she wasn't looking. But you should've seen her, Naruto! She was a mad woman! A MAD... WOMAN!"
"Double D, just calm down, okay? This will all be over as soon as we take care of Kevin." assured Naruto as he tried to calm his sock-headed friend.
"Don't tell me to calm down! It's been a half-hour and I have consumed nothing but bonbons and macaróns, and my blood sugar levels have increased, ten-fold!" snapped Edd grabbing Naruto by the collar. "If I eat one more sugary confection, I'm going to puke bile! And that's the worst kind of body fluid possible!"
Suddenly, Natsu comes crawling under the table right next to the Shinobi and the Ed-boy. "Do you guys mind? I'm trying to take a nap under here." Natsu yawned before falling asleep.
"Just stay with Eren and Goku while I wake up Natsu." Naruto said as Edd crawled out from under the table while he picks up the sleeping Dragon Slayer.
Meanwhile with Edward, he continued to listen to Crocodile's story which bored him to tears. He was so bored that he occupied his time by playing with his empty shot glass, using his alchemy to morph the glass into different shapes.
"And then I said, 'Martha, if you're not gonna decide on a color scheme, then I'm not paint the living room for you!'. That's when she threw the color swatches in my face and left me in the middle of the hardware store. Tch, women." scoffed Crocodile as he finished talking about his personal life.
"Honestly, the only problem you have with girls is that you don't really cherish them enough." advised Edward.
"Maybe you're right. Hic. I can be a little blunt sometimes." hiccupped Crocodile as he downed another shot of scotch. "Hey, have you gotten smaller-- hic-- or is it just me?"
Just then, the Straw Hats come bursting out onto the main deck of the ship as if they were running away from something that was chasing them. "RUUUUNNNN FOOORRRR YOOOUUURRR LIIIIVVES!!!!!" yelled Usopp as dozens of Devil Fruit creatures come crawling onto the main deck.
They began tearing apart the gala and attacking the guests that were in their line of sight. The crewmembers on the Cobbler fought off these creatures, but tried in vain as they were torn apart limb from limb by the monsters. Leader 2 was in his quarters when he overheard the commotion that was going on and decided to investigate. He bears witness to the carnage that was going on aboard his vessel.
"What's going here?! Who let these things on my ship!?!" demanded Leader 2 as the ship's officer came up to him.
"Sir, one of the tanks containing the Corruptonium has been damaged and has been leaking all over the cargo hold! One of the quartermasters have reported that a group of stowaways were seen on the lower decks." informed the officer.
"Dang it! It must've affected the Devil Fruit that has been kept below." growled Leader 2. "You! Get Big Mom, Blackbeard, Donquixote and Crocodile and tell them to--"
He then looks down on the main deck and notices the Eds scrambling around on deck with the heroes protecting them. "Wait, is that...? No way."
"These stupid insects are ruining my tea party! OOH, I hate them! I hate them! I HATE THEM!!!!" screeched Big Mom while she was crushing the Devil Fruit monsters.
"Are these things Devil Fruit? Buggy must've done something to them before he died." Doflamingo said as he destroyed some of the creatures.
"BIG MOM! DONKEY-DORK! The Eds are on the ship! Get those dorks and bring them back alive!" commanded Leader 2.
"Who?" asked Doflamingo.
"You know who! The boys that the Miracle Worker was searching for! Forget these creepy crawlies, let's get the Eds! MUMUM MUMUMU!!!" Big Mom laughed.
The Eds, the heroes and Luffy's comrades were slaughtering most of the Devil Fruit creatures that surrounded them. They used their weapons and abilities to ward them off.
"Where did these stupid vegetables come from?!" exclaimed Eren as he sliced the creatures with his blades.
"They're just like the Grocery Goblins from 'Supermarket Massacre' who eat mailmen and tropical scented candles!" exclaimed Ed, making a reference that nobody understood.
"I think these things want more than just mailmen and candles, Ed." said Natsu as he burned multiple enemies before succumbing to his motion sickness again.
"Ugh, crap. Not here, not now!"
"We gotta keep'em away before they take a bite out of us!" warned Goku as he used his plasma blasts to fight off the creatures.
The ship's band that was booked for the tea party were hiding behind the stage to avoid being attacked by the Devil Fruit creatures.
"Aw man, I don't wanna die!" cried one of the band members.
"What the heck are these things?! Gremlins?" said the second band member.
"Dudes, I'm scared! I think I just wet myself!" cried the third band member.
Brook went over to the stage and came to the band's aid. "Don't worry, boys. Stick with me and I'll protect you!" assured the skeleton, slicing the rogue fruit with his sword.
"A talking skeleton? That's so awesome, man!" exclaimed the first band member as they stayed close to Brook.
The number of Devil Fruit monsters began to thin with every attack that was executed by the Eds and the heroes. "We're winning, we're winning!" cheered Ed.
"Okay, I think we've got rid of most of them." Luffy said with relief.
"Well, well, well, if it ain't the brat that threw me in jail, and he brought some friends. How cute." sneered Doflamingo which gained the attention of the other fighters. "What should we do with them, Big Mom?"
"I don't care what we should do with them! Let's just kill these idgits for ruining my tea party!" growled Big Mom. "And once we're done with them, we'll gift-wrap the Eds and hand them to the Miracle Worker!"
"You guys aren't gonna leave me out, are you?" chimed Sir Crocodile as he joined in the fray.
"The Eds are our friends and if you want them you have to go through us!" proclaimed Goku as the fighters got in front of the Eds and formed a shield around them, with the exception of Natsu who was still suffering from motion-sickness.
"Have it your way, muscle boy!" exclaimed Doflamingo as he, Crocodile and Big Mom prepared to fight the opposing combatants.
"Brook, play something with a bit of an uptempo, please." said Sanji favorly.
"You got it, Sanji! Hit it, boys!" exclaimed Brook as the band began playing 'Ballroom Blitz' by The Sweet which added energy to the battle that began between the protagonists and antagonists.
Goku and Eren flanks Big Mom as she charges straight towards the Saiyan and Scout with tremendous, barely leaving a few scratches on her. She gets up again only to be knocked down by Goku's Kaioken.
Naruto delivers a Rasengan in Doflamingo's direction, who dodges it and attacks the Shinobi with his String-String attack. The attack immobilizes Naruto as the string wraps around his body. Luffy frees Naruto from the string trap and then swiftly hits Doflamingo with kick to the abdomen.
Edward and Crocodile engage by using their blade and hook to clash against one another. Finally, Crocodile uses his Sand-Sand ability to bury Edward. The Alchemist however used the metal deck to shield himself from the falling sand. He bursts out of the sand and punches Crocodile in the face.
"And the man in the back said 'Everyone attack!' and it turned into a Ballroom Blitz! And the girl in the corner said 'Boy, I wanna warn ya!' and it turned into a Ballroom Blitz! Ballroom Blitz! Brook sang with the band as the exciting battle raged on.
The Eds and the remaining Straw Hats took cover as Double D tries to revive Natsu. He pours a flask full of ginger tea and pours it in the Dragon Slayer's mouth, which almost immediately treated his coma.
"Woo! Man, did that suck! What did I miss?" exclaimes Natsu as he rapidly recovered from his motion-sickness.
"We're in the the middle of a fight, Cotton Candy Head! So get your butt in there!" yelled Eddy impatiently.
"Alright! More ass-kicking! HEREIGO!!!!" whooped Natsu as he got up and joined the fight.
"Hey, where's your big friend, Ed?" Usopp asked.
Meanwhile as the band played, Ed jumps on stage and began to play the saxophone and sang along with Brook. "Now the man in the back is ready to crack as he raises his hands to the sky! And the girl in the corner is everyone's mourner, she can kill you with a wink of her eye!" Ed winked as he sang his verse while the song continued with the fighters beating their opponents.
Doflamingo smirked as he wrapped his string around Natsu. This backfired, however, as Natsu lit himself on fire and burned the string, which was still connected to Doflamingo's hands, like a candle wick and burns the pirate.
"AHH!!! I'm on fire! I'm on fire! Put me out! PLEASE!!!" shrieked Doflamingo as he ran around the deck with his arms flailing and his body on fire.
"Don't worry, I'll put you out!" retorted Naruto, kicking Doflamingo and sending him flying off the ship and into the water.
"HELP!! HELP!!! Can't swim! Can't sw--!" gurgled Doflamingo as his body drowns into the ocean, never to be seen again.
"One down! Two to go!" smiled Natsu as he and Naruto high-five each other.
Goku and Eren continued their onslaught against Big Mom, who became angrier with every hit that she takes. "Stop hitting me you brats! Stay still so that I can hit YOU!" growled Big Mom, throwing more punches at the two brawlers.
"We gotta take her down, now!" yelled Eren, who dodged another one of Big Mom's punches.
"Alright, time to end this-- G'AH!!" Goku suddenly gets caught in Big Mom's grip, which makes it hard for the Saiyan to breathe.
"GOTCHA!!! I hope your soul tastes just as good as cake!" Big Mom then starts to consume Goku's soul with her Soul-Eating ability.
"Let him go you bitch!" screamed Eren, who came at the Charlotte matriarch and slices her arms with his sword, dismembering it while freeing Goku at the same time.
"AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! MY ARM!! MY AAARRRMMMM!!!!" shrieked Big Mom as her arm bled all over the deck of the ship.
The blood spewed over those who were close to Big Mom, especially Eren, whose face was coated with her blood. "Don't ever touch my comrade like that again, or I'LL GO FOR YOUR OTHER ARM YOU WRETCH!!!"
"Oh God, I think I'm gonna be sick!" groaned Usopp, who throws up over the side of the ship after seeing the sight of the blood.
"That's just gross." Robin said sickenly while wiping the blood off her.
"Easy there, Eren, I'll take care of it from here." Goku calmed the young scout, who turned towards the bleeding Yonko. "Big Mom, I'm giving you once last chance to surrender. And if you refuse, you may risk losing another arm, or worse, your life."
"No, no, NO! It's not fair! No fair at all! AAAHHHH!!!" Big Mom made a desperate attempt to kill Goku but it was in vain as the Saiyan finished her off with a Kamehameha, sending her flying off into the sky, making her disappear from sight.
"Man, talk about tense." Eddy said under his breath as Edd fainted from having to watch the intense scene unfold.
"Note to self, Leader 2, never let a dork with fruit powers do a captain's job." Leader 2 said under his breath as he jumps down from the bridge of the ship and joins in on the fight. "Come at me, DORKS! KISHI O KOROSU HIKARI O KOROSU!!!"
Leader 2 then transforms into a human-bike hybrid, an allusion to his former Peach Creek persona that adored his bike more than life itself.
"WOW! That is so cool! Eddy, you didn't tell me Kevin could do that!" Luffy said excitedly, pointing towards Leader 2's final form.
"Don't look at me, I'm just as surprised as you are!" Eddy said apprehensively.
"It's my Devil Fruit power, Bike-Bike Fruit. Pretty hot, right?" Leader 2 showboated.
"He's a Devil Fruit-user?! Damn, as if there weren't enough of them on this boat." exclaimed Zoro.
Meanwhile with Edward and Sir Crocodile, the alchemist and pirate battled it out as one opponent used alchemy while the other used his Sand Fruit power. The two strong forces were evenly matched, but it was clear who the victor would be.
"I have to say, for someone so tiny, you really pack a wallop!" teased Crocodile as he tried to use Edward's anger to make the young alchemist lose control. That strategy, however, may not have been the best idea.
"TINY?! WHO ARE YOU CALLING TINY, SCARFACE?!" screeched a berzerked Edward, who used his alchemy to create a giant hammer from the ship's mast and intends on smashing the hook-handed pirate.
"Well, slap me and call me a who--" uttered Crocodile just when Edward nearly smashes him with the metal hammer. The latter, fortunately for him, was able to jump out of the way before it would hit him.
"Get over here YOOOUUUUUUU!!!!" screamed Edward, chasing Crocodile around the ship with the humongous hammer in a comical fashion. He tries to smash the pirate at every turn but, sadly, misses.
Around that time, Luffy and Leader 2 were already engaged into combat. Luffy dodged Leader 2's ramming attack constantly, but the Bike-Bike Fruit-user grew more persistent. "I'm gonna getcha, dorky! HAHAHA!" laughed Leader 2, chasing the Straw Hat captain with prejudice.
Unfortunately, for the brainwashed Kevin of the Cul-de-sac, he underestimated Luffy's unpredictability (and potential insanity). The young pirate runs up the large mast, flips into the air and lands on top of Leader 2's bike form.
"HEY! Get off me, dork! Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHAAAAA!!!!" shrieked Leader 2, as Luffy drove the adolescent's bike body around in circles.
"Blitz, blitz, the Ballroom Blitz! Blitz, blitz, the Ballroom Blitz! Blitz, blitz, the Ballroom Blitz! YEAH! It's the Ballroom Blitz!!!" Ed and Brook sang as the song neared its end as well as Luffy's short battle with Leader 2. The corrupted boy's bike form is sent crashing into the stage where the band was playing. Fortunately, Brook, Ed and the band got out of the way in time before he crashed.
"Oh, man, my head." Leader 2 said dizzily, who reverts back to his human form.
"Well, guess that takes care of him. Good job, everybody!" smiled Luffy, rubbing the dirt off his hands and person.
"What about this red stuff, though. We still don't know what it is or what it does." Nami said, holding the container full of the strange liquid.
"I'll tell you what it is." Leader 2, also known as Kevin, said as the red and black aura exited his body. "It's called Corruptonium. It makes even the nicest dork the meanest jerk alive. The only way you can destroy it is if you beat it out of the afflicted. But I guess you've already figured it out anyway."
"Yes, I suppose severe blunt force trauma would be the only antidote for this toxic chemical that we know of so far." concluded Edd, who recovered from his unconsciousness a few moments ago.
"But where did it come from? Why is it affecting our worlds?" Naruto asked.
"That's all that I can tell you. Besides, I'd be more worried about the other guys that are probably waiting to pound you into mincemeat. Hehehe." chuckled Kevin as his body was transported to Yuna's particle chamber. "See ya later, Dorks."
Kevin's body disappears into pixels, putting a stop to the world-ending conundrum that has endangered everyone involved. The Eds, heroes and pirates were able to wind down, knowing that the situation is finally over.
"Damn, that was insane. I need a smoke." sighed Sanji, lighting another cigarette.
"At least now we can put this whole mess behind us." assured Goku. "By the way, where's Edward?"
"I think he's still chasing Sir Crocodile." Naruto said as he watched Edward pursue the already exhausted pirate woth his metal hammer.
"Please... stop! I've said sorry a hundred times already! Why can't you just leave me alone!" cried Crocodile.
"Sorry's not gonna work on me!!" Edward screamed as he slammed the giant hammer continuously, still missing Crocodile by an inch.
"There's still something that I'm forgetting. What was it? Usopp, did I leave the stove on or somethin' back on the Sunny?" Luffy pondered to his crewmate.
"Not that I know of." replied Usopp.
Meanwhile, Crocodile finally grew exhausted from running around the ship and decided to drop to onto the deck. Edward was tired as well, but was still intent on smashing Crocodile.
"I got you right where I want you. It's time to finish this." growled Edward, raising the metal hammer.
"Wait, have mercy, please." implored Crocodile.
"There won't be mercy where you're going!" proclaimed Edward just when he was about to drop the hammer on the pirate. However, the Cobbler suddenly starts to tilt and shake as a large force suddenly pushed through the steel deck and pierces the metal outwardly. Titanic tentacles slithered through the ship, splitting it into two halves.
The group held on to something as a squid-like creature tears apart the pirate ship. Edward and Crocodile were stuck on the bow half while the others were trapped on the stern section. A pod emerged through the bisected ship and in that pod revealed a humanoid figure that was attached to the creature. That figure was none other than Marshall D. Teach; Blackbeard.
"LUFFY!!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!?!" Blackbeard screeched with an ungodly voice.
"What the hell is that?! A giant octopus?" exclaimed Natsu.
"Cool! It's so gross!" Ed said excitedly.
"You don't think that Corruptonium stuff turned him into this did you?" questioned Nami.
"No doubt about it. If it can turn Devil Fruit into sentient monsters, it might as well affect someone like Blackbeard this negatively." assumed Eren.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU LUFFY!! I'LL KILL YOU AND THEN EAT YOUR FRIENDS FOR SUPPER!" screeched Blackbeard as he started slamming his tentacles on the ship's stern.
"Just say the word and I'll transmit you guys back to the Thousand Sunny." insisted Goku.
"No, we can't let Blackbeard roam the Grand Line. If he does, he'll wreak havoc on everything in his path!" forewarned Luffy who dodged a tentacle.
"He's right, he can be a threat to the entire world!" said Zoro.
"But we can't put our lives into jeopard-EEEEEE!!!" exclaimed Naruto who was almost crushed by one of Blackbeard's tentacles.
"Yeah, Whiskers has a point! Let's just teleport back to the ship already!" Eddy agreed.
"Edward! Can you jump over to us?" Edd called out to the alchemist who clinged to one of the ropes that supported one of the forward masts.
"I can try but it'll be hard!" Edward called out to the others. "As for you--wha?"
Edward notices that Crocodile is missing and it didn't take too long to figure where he was. He looks out onto the water to see the pirate in an empty rowboat rowing away from the sinking ship.
"Well, screw this, I'm out." Crocodile said as he continued to row.
"HEY! Get back here you one-handed son of a bitch!" Edward angrily called out to the pirate.
"Up yours, midget!" Crocodile flips off the alchemist while steering clear of the sinking pirate vessel, enraging the Fullmetal Alchemist.
"Goku, I want you to take our comrades back to the Sunny! I can take care of Blackbeard!" ordered Luffy.
"Hey, wait a minute, Rubber Boy! Don't we get a say in this?" Eddy demanded.
"If you stay on the ship, Blackbeard will take you down with it. Since you're a Devil Fruit-user you can't swim." reminded Eren.
"NO! PLEASE YOUR SEAFARING HIGHNESS!!! THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY!" Ed sobbed as he pleaded with his pirate friend.
"It's okay, Ed. I'll try to come back, you'll see." comforted Luffy.
"Good luck, then, captain. You're gonna need it." Sanji said to his captain as the Straw Hats, Eds and heroes huddled around Goku.
"Be careful, Luffy." advised Goku as he used his Instant Transmission to teleport everyone back to Luffy's ship.
"Well, then, now that they're gone, let's get this--" Luffy said but was interrupted by Edward, who was still on the bow section of the ship.
"HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME, YOU IDIOTS?!" yelled Edward while Goku returned to retrieve him.
"Whoops, sorry, almost forgot about you." chuckled Goku.
"You're gonna be sorry." Edward glared at Goku as the Saiyan grabs the Alchemist and teleports to the Sunny.
The monstrous squid beast kept thrashing the bobbing remains of the ship made it sink quicker. Luffy jumped onto the masts in order to avoid Marshall D. Teach's mighty wrath. The young pirate grabbed hold of one of the tentacles ripped them from the squid's body. This creates immense pain in Blackbeard's body and makes him writhe in agony.
"I'LL KILL YOU!!!!" roared Blackbeard, swinging more of his mutated tentacles.
Luffy dodges a few, but the appendages were too fast for him as one of them slams the Straw Hat and sends him hurtling into the hull of the Cobbler. He gets back up and continues to dodge the tentacles until he eventually punches Blackbeard's body. It does a fair amount of damage, but not enough to weaken the humanoid creature.
"YOU CAN'T BEAT ME!! I CAN ANNIHILATE YOU JUST AS EASY!!" screamed Blackbeard, his voice distorting from the effects of the Corruptonium.
'Man, Blackbeard is really strong. How can I--?' Luffy thought to himself until he notices one of the cannons mounted on the side of the ship. 'AH-HA!'He jumps over to the cannon as the stern began to list while Blackbeard's corrupted body destroys most of the ship, causing it to sink faster. Luffy loads the cannon but struggles to light the fuse.
"I'VE GOT YOU NOW!!!" grinned Blackbeard once he got close to Luffy, who aimed the barrel of the cannon at the monster.
The Thousand Sunny
The group was watching in anticipation as the ship was ravaged by Blackbeard. Everyone showed a look of concern for Luffy, who still struggled to keep the cephalopod beast at bay.
"What's going on over there, Usopp?!" Chopper said frantically.
"I can't tell! Even with this telescope I can't see clearly!" Usopp replied, using a telescope to view the fight from afar.
"This is ridiculous! We can't just stand by and let Luffy get killed!" yelled Natsu.
"That's right! We're his friends and we need to help him!" Eren added.
"Guys, we trust Luffy. Even if he's in a tight spot at the moment, he'll figure something out." Nami assured the heroes.
"Well, I sure hope you're correct, Nami. Although, I guess it wouldn't be a burden for one of us to assist Luffy in battle." Edd said.
"If it had to be one of us, it moght as well be me!" Eren said as he ran to the side of the ship and stood on the railing.
"Whoa, Eren, what are you doing?!" exclaimed Naruto.
"Oh dear, I hope he's not thinking what I think he's thinking." Franky said worriedly.
"Eren, wait a minute, let's talk about this." Eddy said as he tried to smooth-talk Eren out of what the short Ed-boy hoped wasn't suicide.
"I'm gonna go and save our comrade! I'm not gonna lose another friend again!" exclaimed Eren who grabbed his own hand and prepared to jump into the water.
"You're gonna help Luffy by jumping into the Grand Line? You're crazy!" Sanji said.
"Gee, Eren, if you were gonna swim over there you could've just taken a floatie or something." Goku suggested.
"I don't need a floatie. Hope is all I need at this point." Eren said as he was about to jump and bite his hand at the same time.
"Eren, don't--" Natsu called out to the Scout but then an explosion was heard in the distance.
Eren stopped what he was doing and looked to see an explosion that came from the sinking Cobbler. The beastly form of Blackbeard suddenly falls into the sea and vanishes along with the metal vessel.
"What the hell was that?!" cried Edward.
"Luffy!" said Goku as he flew over to the sunken Cobbler to see if his pirate comrade survived.
Everyone on the ship waited in silence for a few minutes when Goku came back with the limp body of Monkey D. Luffy.
"Captain!" cried Chopper while he and the other Straw Hats ran to their captain's side.
"He's not breathing! Is there a doctor here?!" Goku implored the others as Chopper stepped forward and volunteered to help his ailing captain.
"He needs CPR. I can't give it to him, because of my small body. One of you needs to do it." Chopper said while checking for Luffy's vitals.
"Move, I got this!" Naruto said as he got up to Luffy's face, but backed out upon realizing that he might be kissing Luffy instead. "On second thought, Eddy you do it."
"Hey don't chicken out on us, Whiskers! Do you want him to breathe or not?" Eddy yelled at the Shinobi.
"Yeah, but--" Naruto said before Zoro interrupts him.
"JUST DO IT BEFORE HE DIES!" Zoro yelled urgently.
"Okay, I'll do it, geez." Naruto said calmingly as he was about to put his lips on Luffy's. Before he could do that, however, the young pirate suddenly spits up gallons of water in Naruto's face. The water splashes all over the Shinobi, making him wet in the process.
Luffy cough and sputtered before getting back up. He looks at the group of friends that surrounded him and smiles. "Hey, guys, what's up?"
"LUFFY!" Everyone rejoiced as their friend reawakened and greeted them once more.
"Naruto, why are you wet?" Luffy asked the sopping ninja.
"Ehh, well..." muttered Naruto.
"He was about to kiss you when you spat in his face! AHAHAHAHA--OOF!" Natsu laughed before being punched in the stomach by the annoyed Naruto, which triggers his motion-sickness again. "Going down..."
A/N: Still reading? Good. Read and review!x