A/N: Everyone, I am alive and I have returned from exile! (Jk, I wasn't gone for that long). I recently just started Community College and I've been a little caught up, so don't expect much activity from me (Not that you would've in the first place).
Here is the new chapter of Edtaku Squad!
Chapter 5: Attack on Ed - Part 3
Outpost (Attack on Titan Universe)
The next morning, once the Survey Corps members have fully recovered after yesterday's events, they were instructed by Lance Corporal Levi to gear up and head to the walls. The entire military was ordered to guard Walls Rose and Sina due to the possible threat of Titans. But unbeknownst to most of the Survey Corps and the army, there was a terrorist plotting to attack humanity's sanctuary. Goku, Luffy, Naruto, Edward and Natsu, alongside Eren, Mikasa, Armin and the rest went to help secure the walls while the Eds stayed behind.
As they were leaving, Goku and Edward talked with the Eds before heading off with the others, "You guys should sit this one out, for now. After all, we already know how dangerous the Titans are and it would be best if we handled it." said Goku.
"So? We've beaten plenty of bad guys together during this epic journey of ours. Why is this time any different?" Eddy said questionably.
"You were almost eaten one of them," reminded Edward.
"Oh, right... good point," Eddy replied sheepishly.
"I can still smell that warm and slimy esophagus," Double D shivered, remembering the moment where he and Eddy were nearly devoured by that Titan. Luckily for them, Levi Ackerman came to their aid just in the nick of time.
"How did it feel to be food, Double D?" Ed asked dumbly.
"I wouldn't ask that question if I were you, kid," said Levi as he and Eren came up to Goku and Edward. "There are some things that you wouldn't want to know."
"Like how the chicken came before the egg?" Ed asked, but then he pondered for a second. "Eren where does the chicken come from?"
An awkward sweat drop fell from Eren as he gave a modest shrug. "Honestly, I'm not sure if there is an answer to that, Ed."
"I like chickens," smiled Ed.
"Pardon our lovable oaf, Corporal. He is very fond of barnyard fowls such as the common hen or rooster," explained Double D.
"That's nice..." Levi replied, giving his regular deadpan stare. "All right, Jaeger, Muscles, Goldilocks, we're moving out."
"GOLDILOCKS?!" growled Edward.
"Got a problem with that?" Levi asked the alchemist.
"You're damn right! First of all, I am NOT a little girl, which implies that you think I am short; therefore, I am not short because I am just as tall as you! Second, I am not one of your toy soldiers, because I only report to State Alchemist, Colonel Mustang, you got that?" Edward snapped back at the Corporal while Eren was silently warning him not to challenge his superior officer.
"Is that so? If you were as tall as me, would I be able to do this?" Levi asked as he stood over Edward in intimidation and swung his right heel down on the small alchemist's head, driving his face into the wooden floor. "I honestly don't care who your commanding officer is, my position is still above yours and I have way more experience. But if you want to fight it out with me, I'd be happy to oblige. Right now, however, we have a whole other matter to attend to. So I suggest you cut the bull and follow my lead, do I make myself clear, alchemist?"
Levi lifted his foot off of Edward as the blond teen lifted his head up. "Yes, sir. Whatever you say, sir," Edward smirked weakly as he saluted.
"Good," Levi replied as he walked by Eren and Goku, who saluted in fear. He then looks at the saiyan. "By the way, Muscles, that's not how you salute. Also, you're slouching, might wanna fix that."
Goku then noticed that his left arm was folded in front of his chest instead of his right, so he corrects his error, switching his right arm in the correct position. He then straightens posture as well. "My apologies, uh... sir." The Corporal nodded as he pressed on.
"Mr. Levi is scary," Ed commented as Edward got back up.
"Damn, I never knew Lance Corporals could be so strict," said Edward, rubbing the back of his head tenderly.
"Well, Captain Levi takes his position very seriously. He is one of the best elite soldiers I have ever seen. Just try not get on his bad side. Like what he just did to you, Edward," Eren forewarned as he and Goku followed the superior officer.
"Yeah, okay, I'll keep that in mind," Edward said rhetorically, keeping up with the other two heroes. "You guys gonna be all right by yourselves?"
"Can do, buckaroo!" exclaimed Ed.
"Most indubitably," replied Double D.
"Whatever," Eddy said casually.
Edward nodded as he left with the others, leaving the Eds all by themselves. "I have to admit. The Corporal is very disciplined in terms of cleanliness. Which is a trait that I can appreciate, personally." chimed Double D.
"So he is like Double D," surmised Ed.
"Yeah, but a lot cooler," snickered Eddy.
"Oh, please. In what way am I compatible with Corporal Ackerman's austere and neurotic personality?" questioned Double D as he noticed a dark, faded stain on the wooden floor. "What now, a stain? On a hardwood floor? Well, not if I can help it."
"You do that, Sockhead. I'm gonna find me a snack in the pantry," Eddy said as he went to go search the food reserves.
"Ed, I may need your assistance on this one," said Double D as he brought out the mop, bucket and scrub brush. "It looks like we are dealing with a... ech, bloodstain. I am going to need a gallon of bleach, stat."
Ed nodded as he reached into his pocket and gives Double D a manga novel. "Here you go."
"Thank you--" Edd looks at the manga cover which read 'Bleach'. "Ed. This isn't bleach."
"Yeah, it is." Ed replied.
"No, Ed. This is the manga, 'Bleach'. I need the chemical bleach." corrected the sockheaded Ed-boy.
"But have you read it? It is really good," Ed said.
"Ed, I don't have time for--" Double D then looks at the cover of the book. He suddenly became intrigued by the main character, Ichigo Kurosaki's, design. "Hmm, it does have a decent artstyle. I suppose I can read at least one chapter..."
Wall Rose
Once the heroes and the military have reached the top of the wall, each squad of soldiers kept watch over different sections of the wall in anticipation for a possible Titan attack. Cannons mounted on the walls were cleaned and loaded. Supplies such as blades, airtanks, rations and medical items were brought up to keep the resources replenished. Scout, Military Police, and Garrison forces also patrolled the rooftops and the streets of the districts below.
As the heroes were up on the wall keeping watch with the soldiers, Naruto noticed Historia standing a few feet away from him near the edge of Wall Rose. He sees that the girl had a contemplating look on her face, which made him curious as to what she could be thinking about.
Right then and there, the shinobi decides to talk to the girl. "Hey, what's up?" Naruto asked politely, to which Historia silently replies with an acknowledging nod. "So... um, you seem kinda alone over there. You all right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Historia responded solemnly. "You can come close to me if you want. I don't mind."
Naruto nodded as he scooted over next to her and sat down on the rim of the wall, letting his right leg dangle from the edge and the other rest on top. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said yesterday. You know, me saying that I would may or may not kill you and me actually almost killing you before."
"It's okay. I'm just thinking of something else, that's all," Historia said.
"Oh... well, uh," Naruto sighed awkwardly, unsure of how to keep the conversation going. "What are you thinking about? If you don't mind me asking, that is."
Historia shrugged lightly. "Nothing important, really. I've been through a lot recently, let's just put it at that." She said hesitantly.
"Well, if you feel like talking to somebody or me, I'm all ears," The shinobi smiled warmly.
"I'm not sure if that will help, but thank you for the suggestion, anyway," thanked Historia as she started to walk off.
"By the way..." Naruto said, but started to blush as the small girl turned to him.
"What?" She asked.
"Uh... you're... you're very cute and pretty," The blond shinobi said finally.
Historia blushed at the compliment. "Oh... thanks, I guess..." She replied shyly, but decided to mention something this to the fellow teen. "Look, you seem like a nice guy, but I don't think I'm interested in you."
Naruto blushed harder, but this time out of embarrassment. "Oh, was I trying to hit on you? I--I didn't realize..."
"It's not that. You didn't know this so it's not your fault, but..." Historia began as she looked around to see if anybody was eavesdropping and leaned in closer to him. "The thing is, I..." She whispered in Naruto's ear as she gave her confession.
Natsu then noticed the blonde girl talking to the ninja. His enhanced hearing picked up on what Historia was saying as his face perked with interest. "Huh... really? No way."
"Hey, Natsu! Look at those giant nudists down there!" exclaimed Luffy, pointing down at the small crowd of Titans clawing at the wall. "Hehehe, they're so stupid," He chuckled.
"And ugly, too. I mean just look at them," Natsu said, cringing at the unsettling faces of the gigantic humanoids. "They're like potatoes. Big, fugly potatoes."
"I know, right? Their faces alone give me nightmares," Conny commented.
Sasha, who was napping for a moment, was suddenly jolted from her slumber. "Wh-what? Did someone say potatoes?"
"Hey, Commander Hanji, you know a lot about Titans, right?" Luffy asked the female soldier.
"Fortunately, for you, you're asking the right person," Hanji smirked, adjusting her goggles. "What do you wanna know, pirate?"
"Do Titans poop?" Luffy asked to which the others reacted with awkward glances.
"Huh, you know, nobody has ever asked me that question. So I guess that makes you the first one," She replied. "And the answer to that question, is no. Titans do not poop. They are not biologically designed to have digestive systems so they can't just produce waste with every human that they consume."
"I'm probably gonna regret asking this, but..." Natsu said lowly. "What happens when Titans get full?"
"Simple. Once their stomachs are full, they just regurgitate them back out into giant balls of flesh. Kind of like how a cat spits out a ball of fur," The Section Commander explained, which disgusted Natsu, and even Luffy as well.
"WHAT?!?! So they just throw up their leftovers?!" The Dragon Slayer shouted in disgust.
Luffy cringed, "That's even worse than pooping!"
"Well, Titans don't eat people as a source of food. They pretty much live forever unless they are killed," Hanji explained further.
Meanwhile, Commander Erwin and Commander Dot Pixis were conversing about the current situation while Eren, Levi and Edward were kept in the loop. "I apologize if this has inconvenienced your regular routine, Commander Pixis. But the circumstances of this dire situation strongly requires your help." said Erwin.
"Not at all, Commander," Pixis chuckled contentedly. "In fact, it seems like you have your hands tied up anyway. I'd be glad to offer my assistance to the reconnaissance squad." He said.
"So the walls are under surveillance as of this moment," Erwin said. "What have we uncovered so far?"
"Well, for the most part, the walls are still standing. Thank God," Pixis explained. "The Titans that mosey around outside haven't done much. Even the abnormals are as normal as they can be."
"And you say the walls haven't been breached, correct?" Erwin asked informatively.
"Indeed. It's perplexing, too," The old commander said as he glanced at his pocket watch. "It's already past dawn and nothing has happened."
"Sir, if you don't mind me asking, but this couldn't be a hoax, right?" Armin asked.
Erwin was hesitant at first but then he replies. "Perhaps. But it seems too authentic to be one."
"So has this been a waste of time then?" Mikasa asked.
"No. It has to be real. Otherwise we wouldn't be here, would we?" Eren said.
"I think it's clear to me that it is, but..." Edward said as he pondered the thought in his head. "This all seems kinda predictable. It's almost as if the terrorist expected us to not give in to their demands."
"Goldilocks has a point," Levi said, which made Edward scowl at his comment. "If they wanted to attack us, we would have already been ambushed."
"I can agree with you there, Captain," said Erwin. "They may be... waiting for something."
"That's ludicrous! What could they be waiting for? They have the opportunity to attack, so why not take it?" Armin inquired.
"From what I have seen so far, it could be another trap," Eren assumed.
Just then, Goku transmitted in front of everyone in an instant, which surprised the others, with the exception of Edward and Eren. Pixis, who took a sip from his flask, spat out the brandy in shock. "What in the world?!?! How did you get here so quickly?!"
"Sorry about that, I should probably put a bell on myself," Goku chuckled sheepishly.
"Clearly..." Levi said condescendingly.
"Son Goku, did you find any signs of Titan activity within the walls?" Erwin asked the saiyan.
"Fortunately, I haven't. Everywhere else is pretty deserted, except for some soldiers here and there." informed Goku.
Mikasa pondered for a moment. "That begs the question, how did the Titans get in this time around?"
"Probably the same way the Titans in Conny's village appeared," mentioned Levi. "They were probably turned."
"Turned? What do you mean?" Edward asked. Levi simply gave the alchemist a chilling but sincere expression. It was something only Edward understood well enough. "You mean, they--they... shit..." He whispered. His eyes trembled as if he had seen death.
"What? What is it?" Goku asked concernly.
"If it is alright with you, Commander," Armin asked Erwin Smith, who nodded in reply. "It has been suggested by the Section Commander that the Titans may be human."
The saiyan's face turned to immediate shock. "Human? How?"
Two hands slammed against the wooden table with rage. "THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW, GODDAMMIT!!!" Edward shouted, his teeth clenched and his eyes seething with heated anger.
"Edward--" Eren said but the livid blond teen wasn't having it.
"NO! I want answers!!" shouted Edward as he got up on top of the table and grabbed Erwin by the collar. "Tell me! The Titans that we have been fighting! Did they use to be people?! Were they experimented on?! Who's causing all this?!"
"Edward, calm down!" exclaimed Goku as he, Eren and the others tried to hold him back.
"I say, boy, what is your damage?!" Pixis yelled.
"Let the Commander go!" Mikasa shouted as she tugged on Edward's red jacket, but he refuses to budge.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Eren exclaimed, holding Edward back.
"Enough," ordered Erwin as everyone stopped and looked at the Commander. "It's clear that the boy is desperate enough to know. However, I cannot disclose much."
"You see this, old man?" Edward pulled out his pocket watch, which signified his form of authentication as a certified State Alchemist. "This is the pocket watch they gave me when I joined the Amestrian army. It grants me complete authorization for the classified information and records that is shared between me and other State Alchemists. Now, I may not be a member of your Scouting Legion, but I am still a soldier nonetheless. I know how to be discreet, so whatever information you have on the Titans and whether human experiments are involved I will keep under wraps. The same goes for Goku if he agrees as well."
Edward looks over to Goku as the saiyan nodded in agreement. Erwin thought for a moment as he turned to Eren. "You will make sure that they keep this to themselves, Jaeger?"
Eren replied with a salute. "Yes, sir."
"Commander..." Levi eyed his superior officer cautiously.
"He is military after all, Corporal. He reserves the right to know just like the rest of us do," Erwin said as Edward loosens his grip on his collar. "As you may have suspected, we know for a fact that the Titans may in fact be human. We aren't sure how they came to be this way, nor do we have evidence to support that theory. This came about when the village of Ragako, Cadet Springer's village, was deserted, with the exception of a few Titans in the area. One of which was identified as the boy's mother."
Edward and Goku's eyes widened with shock while the other soldiers gave somber expressions.
Erwin continued, "It was also apparent that the Titans that breached the wall came from the direction that the village was in. There was also another Titan, which we have named, the Beast Titan, that tried to thwart the efforts of our troops. We weren't sure where it came from, but not long after the Armored and Colossal Titan were exposed as two of our own, who may have been spies for an unknown power that is specifically targeting us."
"We don't know much so far, but they could be responsible for the events that have transpired recently," Levi added.
Edward exasperated as he tightened his fists. "Whoever those bastards are, I don't know if there's alchemy involved or why they are doing this. But no human being should be forced to become mindless creatures, forever eating flesh. I think we can all assume that you're all living behind these walls for a reason, other than the Titans as far as I'm concerned."
After a prolonged and uncomfortable silence, Pixis was the first to speak. "Well, then, let's hope that the answers will come to us in the long run. I say we continue on with our duties and perform them to the best of our abilities."
"I agree, you're all dismissed," announced Erwin as the soldiers saluted and went to their assigned posts.
Goku patted Edward's shoulder in comfort as he went past him. Eren, Mikasa and Armin shared eye contact with the blond boy before moving forward. Levi was the last person alone with Edward as he crossed his arms and looked at the teen.
"You know, kid, you were pretty upset right then and there," Levi said with a deadpan tone.
"Who wants to know?" Edward retorted.
"I'm just wondering, what could've possibly happened to this young boy that would set him off like that?"
"That's a personal reason. You wouldn't get it," Edward said lowly.
"In case you didn't catch on, Goldilocks, we've all got personal reasons. Some of which we're not proud of." Levi said with a contrasting tone. "I'm guessing yours falls into that category, am I right?"
Edward jumped down from the table as he faced the Lance Corporal. "To make it short and sweet for you, I got myself into something I shouldn't have. And it gave me this." He explained as he showed his automail arm.
Levi scoffed humorously. "Damn... if only Erwin had one of those, then he wouldn't look like a walking potato."
"Yeah, very funny." retorted Edward.
"Well, I've seen my share of death and despair. What makes you so special?"
Edward's expression deepened into a soulless glare as he stared directly at Levi's cold, dark eyes. "From what I've seen so far, there are things that you couldn't possibly begin to comprehend. Things that makes death a luxury that you can't afford. In all honesty, I wish things could've been as they were. But when they didn't, I tried to take control of that, and look where it got me. It cost me my arm trying to save someone I loved and cared about, and my leg for another. You're lucky you've only seen only half of Hell, while I have experienced the entirety of it myself."
Edward calmly walked past Corporal, who just silently watched as he left the room.
"As morbid as this sounds, you and I seem to have enough in common. Other than the height similarities at least," Levi said.
The alchemist stopped and looked back at Corporal, "I guess you're kinda right. But still... we're only as different as we are the same."
With that said, Edward walks out of the room as Levi was left sort of bewildered but intrigued. He sighs, "Well, that was morose. And I thought my life was shit."
Eds
After spending almost an hour reading 48 volumes of the manga in Ed's collection, Double D's red, puffy eyes and his lazy smile showed satisfaction after reading the last chapter in the volume.
"Ah, yes. The battle between Ichigo and Aizen was such a thrilling one. It was quite fortunate of you to bring this manga series along to help alleviate the boredom, Ed." thanked Double D tiredly to his friend.
"Uh, yup, I always carry the good stuff wherever I go," Ed said in a laid back tone.
"WOO-HOO-HOO!! Check it out, guys!" Eddy hollered as he log-rolled on a big wheel of cheese. "I just found the Mother load of cheesiness!"
"My word! That is quite an exorbitant amount of gouda, Eddy." said Double D.
"Those Girl Scouts are so slick! They hid a whole wheel of cheese inside a secret compartment in the pantry!" grinned Eddy.
Ed sniffs the cheese in delight. "MMM~... That is gouda!"
The big oaf tries to take a bite out of the wheel, but Eddy swipes it away, leaving Ed to accidentally break his teeth. "Hey, hey, hey! Haven't you heard of sharing, Shovelhead?"
"Hold on there, Eddy. Who says we are planning on consuming that cheese?" The sock-headed Ed-boy questioned his short friend.
"I didn't say we were gonna eat it. I was thinking we can sell it and--" Eddy proposed, but Double D raised an eyebrow at his companion.
"Selling it? Eddy! Have you no shame?" scolded Double D, wagging his finger at the smaller Ed-boy.
"Ya didn't let me finish!" Eddy said nervously. "I THOUGHT of selling it, but then I thought of... uh, giving this cheese to charity, so all the low-income families can have something to eat for the coming winter!" He explained, but Double D gave him a skeptical look.
"Aw! That is very sweet of you, Eddy!" Ed smiled, giving Eddy a bone-crushing bear hug. "Isn't he a saint, Double D?"
"I find that hard to believe! I thought you were past all of this... this... scamming! You were supposed to have a change of heart!" exclaimed Double D.
"But I did, Double D! I really did turn over a new leaf! Honest!" implored Eddy. "I'm just trying to do something out of the goodness of my heart!"
Double D's face immediately formed into a chastising scowl. "Oh, drop the act! Do you not realize the severity of your reckless decisions?!"
"Oh, yeah? Like what?"
"Like this cheese, for example! This cheese belongs to the Scouting Legion; the most elite army faction that the government of this universe has to offer! The very same people that saved our lives and have put their trust onto us just like how Eren, Naruto and the rest have when we first met them!" Double D said scoldfully.
"Okay... so?" questioned Eddy.
"SO?!" Double D said shockingly. "Eddy, how can you say that?"
"Hey, look, I like the guys. They're pretty cool and all, but I just wanna get home as soon as possible." Eddy said calmly.
"As do I, Eddy," said Double D. "But they consider us as friends, and as their friends, we should repay the kindness that they bestowed upon us by giving our full cooperation and assist them in whatever endeavor that we may find ourselves in."
"Oh, yeah. Good point..." Eddy said sheepishly.
"Speaking of endeavors, stealing rations from the military, especially turning times of famine, may as well be considered a felony," surmised the smart Ed-boy. "And you've already seen what the Corporal did to Edward earlier. Imagine what he would do to someone who pilfers food for personal gain."
Ed then began to tsk and wag his finger at the short Ed-boy. "Naughty, naughty, Eddy."
Eddy went completely wide-eyed when he finally came to his senses. Sure, he missed the thrill of doing scams like during the Pre-Mondo-A-Go-Go days, but he wasn't without ethics either. Also, he didn't want to have his fragile posterior handed to him. Especially not by the infamous Captain Levi Ackerman, whom Eddy secretly fears ever since he first encountered him.
He frowns as he started to wheel the cheese back to the pantry. "All right, fine. I'll put the stupid cheese back." Eddy said through his teeth. "By the way, don't you have a stain to clean up?"
"Stain? STAIN?!" Double D realized. "Oh, dear! How did I suddenly succumb to procrastination?" He knelt down as he took a brush and bucket full of soapy water to finish scrubbing the floor of the nasty abrasion.
Just then, the ground beneath them started to rumble and shake. Ed lifted his shirt as he felt his tummy wobble from the tension in the earth.
"Guys? Can we eat that cheese now? I am hungry."
"I don't think that is your stomach, Ed," Double D said.
The rumbling suddenly stops as the outpost was eerily still. "Huh, must've been a random earthquake," Eddy assumed.
"That didn't feel like a normal tremor. It felt kind of... rhythmic," surmised Double D.
Suddenly, a knock came at the door. Ed gasps, "A mysterious visitor... Could it be the Ding-Dong Ditcher of the Eleventy-seventh Dimension? Spooky~..."
"Shut up, Ed. It's probably the guys," Eddy said as he went to go answer the door. "Heh, I bet ol' Luffy forgot his hat. But it's probably still on his head and he doesn't even know it, hehehe~..." He chortled as he opened the door.
Eddy noticed that there was no one at the door. That is until he looks up to see a giant woman with exposed muscles and blonde hair, crouching down as it stared back at him. The young boy, whose adolescent hormones deluded his common sense, gawked at the Female Titan in fascination.
"Who is it, Eddy?" Double D called out from inside the house.
"Yo, guys, check it out! It's a giant babe!" Eddy grinned cheekily. "And look! It's got some nice tit--"
The Female Titan suddenly picks Eddy up by his three hairs. "H-hey! Let go of me, lady! Ed! Double D! HELP!!"
"EDDY!" The two Eds shouted in unison as they helplessly watched their friend get plucked from the ground by the Female Titan. She then tries to grab at Double D and Ed, but they run back inside and barricaded the door behind them.
"It's the Giant Succubus of Uranus! Here to skin us and use our flesh to make flashy swimsuits for Bikini Season!" Ed exclaimed.
"Ed, of all the obscure references you have made, that is quite disturbing," Double D said awkwardly.
The Female Titan then tears the roof off of the outpost building like the lid of a cardboard box. She reaches into the building as she grabs Double D.
"AHH!! ED!" screamed the Sockhead while the Titan then puts him into her mouth.
"Double D!" yelled Ed.
Eddy, who was still being grabbed by the hairs on his head, struggles but to no avail. Eventually, each of his hairs were plucked one-by-one until he broke free from the Female Titan's grasp. He yelled as he falls to the ground and lands on his face.
"Ugh, man, my head--" Eddy rubbed his head tenderly when he noticed that the only three hairs he had were gone and was completely bald. "My hairs! Where did my hairs go?!"
The Titan then realized that her other captor was missing, and was still holding on to his hairs. She drops the hairs as she scanned the area for the other Ed-boy.
"Come on, come on, come on... where are they?!" Eddy panicked while searching for his hairs. Then, he sees the hairs lying on the ground. "Ah-ha! Found ya!"
He snatches the hairs and puts them back on his head just when the Female Titan has discovered him. "Oh no..."
Before she could take him again, however, a boulder was suddenly thrown at her head, temporarily paralyzing her. That boulder came from the big lug, Ed, who ceased the opportunity to grab Eddy and make a run for it.
"RUN AWAY!!!" The simple-minded Ed-boy shouted while carrying Eddy.
"Hey! Where's Double D?!" Eddy exclaimed.
The boulder that struck the Female Titan disjointed her jaw, causing it to hang out on its own. Double D grabbed on to her lower jaw as he dangled in the air.
"Yuna! Yuna! Come in, Yuna! We are in distress! I repeat: We are in distre--" He cried into the com watch as the Female Titan pushed him back into her mouth and closed her jaw tightly. She staggers for a minute until she was able to fully stand up. While her jaw healed on its own, she heads towards the wall with her hostage in tow.
Ed and Eddy ran for awhile until they found another outpost and hid there. The big Ed frantically uses the furniture to block the door once they were inside. He gave a sigh of relief as he noticed that they were no longer being followed.
"We are safe as a shoebox," affirmed Ed.
"Well, that's just great! Double D just got kidnapped and now we have no way of getting through to the guys!" exclaimed Eddy. "UGGH!! We're totally screwed."
"Ooh! Ooh! I have a suggestion!" chimed Ed.
"Let me guess... you wanna trim some toenails?" Eddy asked sarcastically.
"No, silly Billy, Eddy," Ed said playfully knocking on his friend's forehead. "We should launch a daring and crafty rescue operation to save our friend, Double D!! And THEN we trim some toenails."
"How the heck are we gonna do that, Monobrow? We're not expert Titan Killers like those Survey guys," Eddy said as he leaned against a stack of crates, knocking them down as the contents came spilling out from their containers.
The items that fell out were swords, gas tanks and vertical maneuvering gear that were commonly used by soldiers in the Survey Corps, MP, and Garrison Regiments. A light bulb suddenly lit up as Eddy's lips formed his signature sly grin.
"Oh, Ed..." sang Eddy.
"Yes, Eddy?" Ed asked.
"Check it out. Doesn't that ODM gear look like the thermo-destructo Wibble-whacker from Space Leech IV?"
"Yeah!"
"Attack the Wibbles." whispered Eddy.
"THE WIBBLES!!" Ed shouted as he quickly puts on the uniform and equips the gear. He uses the wires to grapple onto nearby trees while accelerating himself with the gas tanks at high speed. He carried Eddy on his back as he flew through the air. "Attack the Wibbles!"
"And you don't even have to clean up after him," Eddy grinned as he hung on to the lovable doof.
Wall Rose
The next few hours went by as the heroes and the military spent most of it guarding the wall, with no activity from the Titans whatsoever.
Naruto, Goku, Luffy and Natsu were bored out of their minds since they had nothing to do but wait. Even the Survey Corps had nothing to do besides keeping their posts. Jean was leaning against one of the cannons while Conny and Sasha were dying from the heat. Eren, Mikasa and Armin, on the other hand, kept watch with Historia, Levi, Hanji and Erwin. Edward, who was also bored, took a loose brick from the wall and used his alchemy to turn it into different shapes.
The silence was so antagonizing, that it drove Naruto to near insanity. "OH MY GOD THIS IS SO BORING!!!"
"Uh, what...?" yawned a snoozing Luffy who woke up from his nap.
"You're telling me. We need something to pass the time," Goku said. "I know! Let's train!"
"But I'm too bored to train!" said an aggravated Natsu. "Let's have a party! A Wall Party! Who's with me?"
"Party? I love parties," Sasha said enthusiastically.
"We can't party while we're on duty." Jean interjected.
"Aw, don't be such a party pooper, Horse Face," teased Natsu.
"HORSE FACE?! Armin, does my face look like a horse?" Jean asked the blond boy.
"Um, it's not really my place to say." Armin said politely.
"What about you, Mikasa? Do I--"
"Yes." The dark-haired girl said bluntly, which made Jean wide-eyed with shock.
"I knew it! He is a horse!" shouted Luffy pointing his finger at the scout.
"Shut up! I am not!" Jean exclaimed.
"Quiet!" barked Levi. "I hear something..." He said as he heard someone shouting as it grew closer and closer.
Just then, Ed and Eddy came flying into the air and crash-landed on top of the wall. "Thank you for flying Air Oxygen! We fly so high you can barely breathe!" chimed Ed, who left an Ed-shaped indent on the roof of the wall.
"I think my lungs just collapsed." Eddy said after enduring the intensity of Ed's temporary flight.
"Ed! Eddy! Are you alright!" exclaimed Naruto as he and the others went over to help their friends.
"Where's Double D?" Edward asked.
"He got kidnapped by some giant lady! She even tried to take me and Ed!" informed Eddy.
"Giant lady? What giant lady?" Goku asked.
"It can't be..." Hanji said gravely. "Was it the Female Titan?"
"Well, it WAS a lady and it WAS big, um..." Ed tried to think for a moment, but his train of thought immediately derailed. "Wait... what were we talking about?"
Hanji then grabs Ed by the shoulders and shook him. "THE FEMALE TITAN! WAS IT THE FEMALE TITAN?! DID SHE ESCAPE?!" She yelled as she kept shaking the Ed-boy for more answers.
"Annie..." Eren growled. "It was Annie! She took Double D!" The Survey Corp members gave a look of shock when he said this.
"Annie? Who's Annie?" Naruto asked.
"I think the real question is... 'Is she okay?'." Eddy smiled cheekily as he tried to share a joke with the shinobi, who just looked more confused.
"What--?"
"It's a Michael Jackson reference! You know, 'Smooth Criminal'? The song! He-he says 'Annie, are you okay?'... no?" Eddy struggled to explain, but Naruto just awkwardly shrugs. "Ah, forget it, you're too young."
"Dammit! I knew we shouldn't have left the Eds alone! We should've been wary of who was after us!" Edward said angrily.
"But why would Annie take Double D? What importance could he and these two possibly possess?" Levi wondered.
"That's what we've been trying to figure out." said Natsu.
"Whatever that may be, we still need to save him." Goku said with determination.
"Where did Annie take him?" Mikasa asked Eddy.
"I dunno. She must've jumped the wall or somethin'." surmised the short Ed-boy.
"Then I shall send a rescue party to sweep the walls," Erwin announced.
"No, let us find him. He's our nakama." Luffy insisted.
"But what if the Titans show up?" Sasha asked concernly.
Suddenly, the sound of buildings being decimated and soldiers screaming drew everyone's attention to the Trost District. A giant Titan covered in armor was attacking the city below, crushing homes and businesses as the soldiers tried to fend off the humanoid.
"You mean like... right now?" Eddy said awkwardly.
"Soldiers! Advance!" ordered Erwin as the Scouts wielded their swords, jumped off the walls and used their wires to swing down towards the city.
"You know what to do, Jaeger." reminded Levi as he followed the others.
"Right," Eren nodded, but before he bites his hand, Ed stops him.
"WAIT! It is dangerous to go alone... take this." The buffoon then gives Eren a moldy piece of toast.
"Uh... thanks Ed," Eren thanked in a repulsed tone as he accepts it so he would spare Ed's feelings. "Wish me luck, guys."
The scout jumps from the wall and transforms into his Titan form right before he lands. The heroes and Eds were still standing idly by on top of the wall.
Eddy sighs. "They're all gonna die aren't they?"
"Should we help them out, or what?" Naruto asked his comrades.
"Well, if they wanna live long enough to see Season 3 of their show, I guess me and Natsu can take care of the big guy in the armor down there." suggested Goku.
"Alright!! I'm all fired up! "Super Dragon Dive Bomb"?" Natsu asked excitedly.
Goku smiled as he turned to his Super Saiyan mode. ""Super Dragon Dive Bomb"." He then grabs Natsu and the duo flew off the wall in a blaze of glory.
"Okay, now let's go find Double D and--" Luffy proclaimed but was interrupted by an ear-splitting shriek as the Female Titan also joined the fray. She suddenly emerges out of nowhere, causing just as much damage as the Armored Titan.
"Oh, great! Not this chick again!" Eddy groaned.
"Leave her to me, boys," Edward insisted as he took off his crimson jacket.
"But Edwardo, we're not supposed to hit girls," said Ed.
"First of all, don't call me Edwardo!" snapped the alchemist. "Second, she's the one that kidnapped Double D, and I don't care if she's a girl. I'm gonna give that bitch a thrashing just because she's earned it." Edward then runs towards the other end of the wall, using alchemy to surf on the brick material.
Just then, Yuna soon arrives in the Space Lift, with an panicked look on her face. "Double D's been taken!"
"Wow, really? We didn't notice," Eddy said sarcastically.
"Do you know where he is?" Naruto asked.
"I am tracking his com watch right now," Yuna said as she traced the signal on Double D's location. "He's somewhere along this wall. It's so hard to pinpoint it, though."
Her tracker suddenly began to beep faster. "He's close. Actually, he's getting a lot closer. He's practically on top of us."
Luffy suddenly began to feel sweaty as the outside temperature increased. "Hey, is it me, or is it getting a little humid up here?" He sighed exhaustively. Just then two giant fleshy hands slammed against the top of the wall.
Steam emanated from a giant entity, whose head slowly rose from behind the wall. The head belonged to that of a giant humanoid with exposed muscles, which peered over the wall like it was a fence. The Colossal Titan glared down at humanity's settlement and the heroes that stood on the wall.
"Woah~... big guy!" gawked Ed.
"Where the heck did that guy come from?!" exclaimed Eddy.
"I dunno, but this guy is made of meat so I can't complain." Luffy said hungrily.
"Luffy, that sounds like cannibalism to me," Naruto said repulsively.
The Colossal Titan then opened its mouth as more steam came bursting from its body. Inside was Double D, bound and gagged on the Titan's tongue. Beside him was the blonde girl, Nazz, also known as Leader 5.
"Hey, boys, what's up?" greeted Leader 5.
"Hi, Double D! Hi, Nazz!" chimed Ed.
"Things are gonna get a little messy here, aren't they?" Yuna asked rhetorically.
"Usually, at this point," Naruto replied as he wielded his kunai. "Yeah, basically."
"I'm getting a lot of Deja Vú here, guys." Eddy said as he remembered the events of the first part of Chapter 5.
Goku, Natsu and Eren
The Armored Titan ravaged the district while the soldiers tried to fight off the powerful humanoid. As it swatted and crushed a few stock characters, it hears a sound heading towards it general direction. That sound came from Natsu's war cry as Goku threw the fire mage like a missile straight at the Titan.
"CRIMSON LOTUS: FIRE DRAGON'S--" Natsu hollered as he was about to deliver the fatal blow.
But the Armored Titan swats him out of the air like an insect. "THAT DIDN'T WORK~!!!" He screamed as he flew across the district.
"Huh, it didn't work." Goku said with wide eyes.
Eren's Titan form roared as it joined the battle. He tackles his opponent, pushing him to the ground and begins to thrash it. The Armored Titan tried blocking the attacks but every punch that Eren gave was stronger than the last.
'I'm gonna kill you, Reiner! I'll kill you for everything that you've done to us!" Eren thought angrily, beating his enemy ruthlessly.
The rival Titan then pushes its assailant off itself. It gets back up and retaliates by crushing the Attack Titan's chest and abdomen with its foot. Eren roared in pain as he was stomped on repeatedly.
"EREN!" cried Mikasa as she used her ODM gear to fly and slice the back of the Armored Titan's legs, weakening it to kneel down in pain.
Goku yelled as he punched through the larger Titan's chest cavity, leaving a gaping hole through it.
"I got this, guys!" Natsu shouted, as he leaped into air, ran up the back of the Titan, powers up his flame attack and brings the pain down upon its nape.
"CRIMSON LOTUS: EXPLODING FLAME BLADE!!!!" The destructive fire inflicts major damage on the Armored Titan, bringing down the monstrous humanoid with a painful roar.
"All right! We got that bastard!" Jean shouted victoriously.
"That was a lot easier than I expected." Goku said as he reverted back to his normal form.
"Try fighting these things with only swords and gas tanks every day. It's rather tedious even when you're used to it most of the time." Armin panted with exhaustion.
Levi climbed on top of the fallen Titan's corpse, cutting open the singed nape to reveal the man inside. "Okay, Reiner Braun, let's see if you're still alive or--" But once the Lance Corporal exposed the neck of the Titan, he found no human body inside. "What the hell? He's not here?"
"Oh... did I accidently obliterate the guy inside the Titan? My bad," Natsu said sheepishly.
Hanji climbed up the evaporating cadaver and sees the empty cavity in the nape. "Not exactly. I don't see any human remains. It looks completely hollow." The Section Commander surmised.
"But if Reiner's not inside, then who was controlling the Armored Titan?" Mikasa asked. She then hears a rumbling coming from Wall Rose as she and the others saw the Colossal Titan peer over the wall.
"Aw, crap! He's back again!" Conny hollered.
Eren's Titan form glared at the wall as he sees the Colossal Titan's steaming head emerge. Anger boiled inside him. 'Bertholdt...'
He roars with rage as he charges towards the wall to face off against the behemoth of a Titan.
"Hey! Eren where are you going?" Natsu yelled after the Titan Shifter as he and Goku followed him.
"Goddammit, that brat's gonna get killed," Levi said lowly. "All right, everyone follow Jaeger, now!" The Scouts followed the Lance Corporal as they pursued Eren to the edge of the wall.
Edward
The Fullmetal Alchemist dashed to the other end of Wall Rose, where the Garrison Legion were loading the very few cannons that were mounted. They fired at the Female Titan, who threw chunks of buildings at the soldiers and their cannons, taking out a few in the process.
"Keep firing, men!" barked Commander Pixis. "She can't avoid our gunfire forever!"
"Hey, Pixis!" shouted Edward.
"Ah, Elric. Joining the fight, are we?"
"That Female Titan's a real pain in the ass, isn't she?" Edward said.
"I'm afraid so. It seems our cannons aren't doing any damage." Pixis said gravely. "And she's taking out my soldiers like some kind of efficient predator."
Edward looks at the cannons that were still being fired and loaded as fast as the soldiers were able to the best of their ability. He picks up one of the cannonballs and inspects the bags of gunpowder. An idea began to formulate in his mind.
"Commander, how much gunpowder and cannonballs do you have left?" asked the alchemist.
"There should be enough for the infantry to use against the Titans. But at this rate our ammo may deplete in a matter of minutes." informed Pixis. "How much do you need?"
"Not much, just a little," said Edward, using his alchemy to turn the cannonball into mortar ammo; a cannonball filled with gunpowder. "Commander, I've got a plan. I need your men to cease firing and gather the rest of the ammo and gunpowder while I make more of these special cannonballs. Once I do that, I'll make more cannons while you and the soldiers load them with these."
"What about the Female Titan?" asked the Garrison Commander.
"I'll distract her in the meantime, while you guys load the cannons," explained Edward as he made more mortar ammo. "When she's in your line of fire, give the order to rain Hell on her."
Pixis nodded in reply. "All right, men! Cease fire! I need everyone to gather as much ammo and gunpowder that you can scrape up!" The officer shouted, ordering the soldiers to stop firing.
"But, sir, we need as much ammo to beat this bitch!" said one of the soldiers.
"That's why Mr. Elric here needs as much ammo as possible so he can make better weapons for you!" announced Pixis.
"What? That little kid there? What does he know about gunpowder and cannons?" questioned another soldier.
"I'm not a little kid! I'm the guy who's gonna save all your asses! Now get them in gear or I'll throw you off the wall for insubordination!" yelled Edward.
"And he has my permission to do so since he outranks all of you," affirmed Pixis, which astonishes the other soldiers. "NOW GET MOVING, MAGGOTS!!!"
"YES, SIR!"
The soldiers pooled together as much of their ammo reserves as possible while Edward made as much mortar ammo as possible. Next, he moved on to the cannons, to which he transforms them to creating more bigger and better weapons while doubling the amount of cannons that the Garrison lacked.
The blond boy then ties his waist with a rope as he allowed himself to dangle off the side of the wall. The Female Titan notices Edward hanging from the wall.
"Hey! Hussy! Up here!" Edward yelled, directing the Titan's attention to him. "Ya looking for the Eds? Come on! They're right up here! Just follow me!"
He climbs back up the wall as the Female Titan pursues the blond alchemist. Like a giant spider, she claws her way up fast enough to keep up with Edward. He reaches the top before her as he climbs over away from the line of fire. "Give her the old 21 gun salute, old man!"
"Right! Ready... aim..." Pixis waited until the Female Titan was close enough before giving the order. "FIRE!"
The barrage of explosive gunfire rained down on the Female Titan like Armageddon. The explosive cannonballs tears the Titan to shreds as if she were paper. Remains of her body fell from the wall, crashing to the ground. Cheers rang out from Wall Rose as their victory was assured.
"For those who got blown up, we salute you," said Edward humorously, giving a mock salute to the fallen Titan.
Suddenly, the wall began to rumble as the head of the Colossal Titan appeared. The Garrison regiment soldiers gasped and screamed when humanity's largest foe returned. An erupting fog of steam clouded the top of the wall, blowing off many of the soldiers, including Edward.
Fortunately, Edward used his automail arm to penetrate the wall, preventing him from plummeting to the ground. The soldiers that were blown off used their ODM gear to do the same.
Commander Pixis used his wires to hang on to the wall as he dangled beside Edward.
"What the hell is that thing?!" shouted Edward.
"That's the Colossal Titan. That thing is responsible for the fall of Wall Maria five years ago," explained Pixis. "Now it's back to finish what it had started to do: Destroy humanity."
"Commander, call in for a full retreat!" exclaimed the alchemist.
"Right. Everyone, this is a full retreat! I repeat: FULL RETREAT!" ordered Pixis as the rest of the soldiers pulled away and evacuated the wall. The Commander smiled, "You know, it's odd that an old man like me is taking orders from such a small fry."
"SHUT UP! I'M NOT SHORT! YOU'RE JUST TALLER THAN ME!" snapped Edward, running back up the wall to face the giant opponent.
"Good luck, alchemist. You're going to need it," Pixis said supportively as he swung off the wall and followed his men.
Naruto, Luffy, Ed and Eddy
The heroes and the two Ed-boys watched as the former love interest stood inside the Titan's mouth while Double D was held captive.
"Long time, no see, guys. How are you doing?" Leader 5 asked politely.
"Pretty good, thank you for asking." Ed replied naïvely.
"Let Double D go, Nazz!" Eddy demanded.
"Yeah, sorry dude, can't do that. I need Double D, as well as you and Ed so that the Miracle Worker can fulfill my wish, duh." replied Leader 5.
"Who's the Miracle Worker? What does he want the Eds for?" Naruto asked.
Leader 5 shrugged. "Honestly, I have no idea. I've never seen the dude's face before, but he's pretty rad once you get to know him."
Double D muffled frantically as he tried to speak through the gag in his mouth.
"Don't worry, Double D! We'll save you!" proclaimed Luffy as he tried to use his Gum-Gum attack, but Yuna stops him.
"Wait! You can't just attack that guy while he's still got Double D!" exclaimed Yuna. "We also need to help Nazz, so we can't risk getting her killed!"
"Damn! You're right! We need to get them away from the Colossal Titan. But how?" Luffy pondered.
Just then, Edward came running to the others. "Hey, guys! I saw the Colossal Titan from where I was so I came straight over here--D'AH!!"
The Colossal Titan then slams its giant hand on the wall, which narrowly misses Edward as he somersaults away from the crushing appendage.
"You want Double D? Come and get'em then, dudes." Leader 5 said tauntingly as the Titan closed its mouth, shielding her and the hostage inside.
"Was that Double D inside that Titan's mouth?!" exclaimed Edward.
"Yup. Apparently, Nazz has gone from a normal blonde airhead to a blonde airhead with an army of giant naked people," Eddy said. "Wow, that was the weirdest thing that ever came out of my mouth... like, ever."
"We gotta save Double D and take down this giant meat man!" Luffy said.
"YES! Finally, another boss battle! You guys wait here while I come back with a WHOLE freaking arsenal!" Yuna said enthusiastically as she ran giddily back into the Space Lift to retrieve her arsenal.
"Oh, that Yuna, always effervescent as usual," sighed Edward as he and Naruto began slashing the Colossal Titan's teeth.
"Take this!" shouted Naruto as he threw a Rasengan at the Titan's mouth.
With every impact they made at the Titan, steam hissed from its body, preventing the two fighting teens from leaving a dent. Luffy tries to punch the Colossal Titan's teeth in with his Third Gear, but the scalding temperatures of its body burned his hand.
"OW! HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT!" shouted the pirate. "That guy is hot!"
"This bastard is more steamy than a sauna!" exclaimed Naruto.
"Whew... tell me about it," Eddy said as he started to sweat profusely. "I'm hot."
"Eh, I'm half-baked," Ed commented.
The Colossal Titan releases, yet, another burst of steam, this time sending Ed and Eddy flying off the wall.
"ED! EDDY!" shouted Edward helplessly, watching two of his friends get thrown off.
"AHHH!!" The two Eds screamed as they plummeted to their demise.
Instead of hitting the ground, however, their hard fall was softened by the top of the Attack Titan's head as it scaled the side of Wall Rose. Eren's monster form climbed vigorously that he didn't notice his comrades riding on his head.
"Well, 'bout time he showed up." snarked Eddy, holding on to the Titan's long hair.
"Hi, Eren! We're on top of your head!" Ed said boisterously.
'Ed? Eddy? What are they doing on my head?' Eren thought internally when he finally did notice the two Eds.
Jean then swooped in and grabbed Ed as Mikasa snatched Eddy. "Hold on. We got you two." The dark-haired said assuringly.
"Why is it that you three Eds and Jaeger are always getting caught up in this shit?" Jean said irritably as he flew with Ed in one arm.
"Look, Eddy, a talking horse!" Ed said dumbly, which agitated Jean even more.
Eren's Titan reached the summit of Wall Rose, standing face-to-face with the Titan that haunted him since he was a child. Anger swelled within him as he glared at his enemy.
'BERTHOLDT~!!!' Eren's thoughts screamed as his Titan form gave an ungodly roar.
Meanwhile, inside the Colossal Titan's mouth, Double D squirmed in his bondage while his former neighborhood friend stood over him.
"Sorry about tieing you up, Double D," said Leader 5 apologetically. "I just wanted to make sure you don't escape." She explained, yanking the gag off the smart Ed-boy's mouth so that he could speak.
Double D gasped as he took in some air. "HAVE YOU GONE MAD, WOMAN?!"
"I wouldn't say I'm mad. I'm just... insightful," Leader 5 said nonchalantly.
"Insightful? How is unleashing gigantic humanoids into an entire populace considered 'insightful'?" Double D said aghastly.
"Hey, we all have different aspects in life," Leader 5 said.
"But the Nazz I know wouldn't harm people, nor would she want to create destruction and chaos," The sockhead said reasonably. "Why on Earth would you go this great length just to capture me, Ed and Eddy?"
Leader 5 hesitated but gave her answer anyway. "Um... well, it's not just because of you three. You see, I have yet to conquer this world just like how the other Leaders have in the other worlds. I've been creating synthetic Titans just so I could take down the Walls. But since that didn't get me anywhere, I had to resort to creating copies of the Colossal, Armored and Female Titans."
"I see," said Double D. "But that still sums up another question: What do you have to gain from the Miracle Worker?"
"I--I... haven't thought of that. I guess I don't think I really want anything that special." Leader 5 pondered.
'What about your life?'
"Shh! Not now, dude..." hushed Leader 5.
"Pardon?" Double D asked.
"Not you, Double D," The girl said dismissively, but the sockheaded Ed-boy immediately became concerned.
"Nazz, listen to me, you're being controlled by the Corruptonium," Double D said as he tried to reason with Leader 5. "If you surrender now, this conflict can be stifled in its infancy."
Leader 5 frowned while she closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, Double D. But..."
Her eyelids slowly opened, revealing the all-too-familiar sign of her Corruption: Red, pinprick pupiled eyes. Double D looked at his female friend with shock as time stood still for what seemed like days on end.
"You're too late..."
Suddenly, a huge force caused the interior of the mouth to jerk sideways. Leader 5 and her hostage tumbled against the side of the Colossal Titan's mouth. Teeth shattered, exposing light into the dark mouth.
Eren roared as he attacked the rival Titan with ferocity. The steam emanating from the larger humanoid burned the exposed flesh of the Attack Titan, but Eren's adrenaline kept him from caving in to the scalding pain.
The Scouts and heroes assisted in the battle by exploiting the monstrous Titan's weaknesses. But to no avail, their attempts were futile. Soldiers slashed at the steaming flesh of the nape. However, they were continously pushed away by bursts of steam that protected the giant.
"Damn... is it that hard to get a hit on that thing?" Conny exasperated.
"Ed! Eddy! You have get off the wall or you'll get hurt!" warned Goku.
"No way! We're not gonna play helpless princess and let you guys do all the fighting!" Eddy proclaimed as he and Ed marched up to the edge of the frontline, confronting the Colossal Titan.
"So you wanna play rough, huh?" glared Eddy as he grabbed Ed, mounted him horizontally on his shoulder, cocking the bigger Ed-boy's neck like a bazooka or some kind of destructive weapon. "EAT ED'S LEFTOVERS, COLOSSAL JERK!!!"
Eddy fired three shots as Ed threw up random projectiles out of his mouth; a cinderblock, a sink, and Rolf's goat, Victor. None of which proved effective against the Titan and only bounced off it like rubber balls.
"Apparently he eats leftovers," said a wide-eyed Eddy.
"Captain! Mikasa!" Edward shouted to both of the Ackermans. "I need you two to throw me towards the Colossal Titan's mouth!"
"And you are asking us, why?" questioned Levi.
"So I can get close to Double D. He's being held captive inside, and if that Titan opens his mouth long enough, I can grab him and save him." The alchemist explained. "The timing just has to be right or else I will fail to save my friend."
"That sounds like a death wish," said Mikasa.
"I agree," said Levi as he noticed from the corner of his eye, the Attack grabbed the Colossal Titan's mouth, forcing its jaws open. He then picks up the small teen. "But let's hope it's not a wish granted."
Levi dropkicks Edward high into the air. The Fullmetal Alchemist screamed as he flew like a rocket towards the sky.
"Mikasa, now!" ordered Levi as the dark-haired girl nodded and propelled herself towards Edward.
She grabs the alchemist by the arm and buddy tosses him. Edward dived directly downward to his intended target as Eren battled it out with it. 'Oh, God, please work! Please work!'
Inside the Colossal Titan's mouth, Double D struggled to break free of the ropes that binded him. Fortunately, the saliva coating the giant tongue allowed him to slip his hands and feet. "Ecch, repulsive. But at least I am free."
He crawls towards the open gap where the Titan's jaws were forced opened by Eren. The sockhead stuck his head through the gap, hoping that someone would see him. But then, he is suddenly grabbed by Leader 5, who pulled him back.
"You're not going anywhere!" Leader 5 growled in a monstrous voice that overlapped with her normal voice.
"Nazz, please, come to your senses!" implored Double D, as he was dragged away by Leader 5.
Edward then landed onto the lower jaw of the Colossal Titan. "Double D!"
"Edward! Nazz's mentality has been obscured by the Corruptonium!" Double D exclaimed while struggling to break away from the Corrupted girl's grasp.
"Grab my hand, I'll pull you out!" The alchemist said as he stuck his automail hand out while holding up the upper jaw.
Double D crawled towards Edward until he firmly took hold of the mechanical appendage. It was then that Leader 5 began yanking the Ed-boy even harder than before. "NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!" She screeched.
"Don't try to make this harder than it already is, you brat!" shouted Edward, now using both of his hands to pull out Double D.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Please, stop! You're going to tear me in half!" The smart Ed-boy cried painfully as he was tugged from both ends.
With a sudden a burst of strength, Edward manages to yank both Double D and Leader 5 out of the mouth. He stumbles backwards and nearly falls off the edge of the Titan's jaw. Fortunately, he was able to grasp the Colossal's tooth with his right arm; he also uses his left arm to catch Double D by the hat, while Leader 5 grabbed the Ed-boy by both ankles.
"My hat! Please, Edward, for the sake of my dignity, let go of my hat!" cried Edd as he tried keep his hat on.
"Really? We're hanging from over a hundred feet in the air, and you're more concerned about your stupid hat?!" said an aggravated Edward.
Eren's Titan form became very weak from the excessive burns that he received from the Colossal Titan. His strength grew weary and his grip on the other Titan's mouth loosened as the upper jaw came down like a guillotine, striking down upon Edward's automail arm, eviscerating the prosthetic limb into multiple mechanical pieces.
"Ah, shit..." gulped Edward.
"Not good..." quivered Double D.
Gravity became their worst enemy, as Edward, Double D and Leader 5 fell from over fifty meters in the air, plummeting rapidly as they screamed for dear life.
"DOUBLE D!" yelled Ed and Eddy, watching their friend fall off the wall.
"I got'em!" yelled Luffy, using his Devil Fruit power to stretch his arms; he grabs Double D and Leader 5, preventing their inevitable deaths.
Edward was close to having a chance meeting with death, when Levi swooped in in the nick of time, saving the alchemist. The blond boy held on to the Captain as he clung to the wall with his wires.
"Came around just in time, eh, Prince Charming?" teased Edward.
Levi scoffed. "Normally, that's the kind of attitude that would tempt me to drop you. But since you're valued as an ally, I digress." He said rhetorically, zipping back up the wall with Edward in hand.
Meanwhile, the Eren's Titan finally succumbs to its burns, collapsing as it falls off the wall in defeat despite damaging the Colossal's body. Mikasa watched in horror, fearing for the safety of her adopted brother. "Eren!" She cried, flying down to the base of the wall to aid him.
"Mikasa! Wait!" yelled Armin as he followed his friend.
"We have to take it out while its still healing!" shouted Hanji.
"Right, it's time to end this!" proclaimed Goku as he prepared to pull off the strongest version of his signature move.
"Kaaa~... meee~..." Goku raised his voice as the blue mass of plasmic energy began to form between his palms.
"Oh, geez..." Eddy said with shock, recognizing the move that the saiyan used to beat Natsu when he was Corrupted. Now its building up to something even stronger. "HIT THE DECK!!" He shouted as he used a nearby barricade to take cover.
"Can someone explain to me what that man is doing with his hands?" questioned Erwin. Hanji and Moblit just silently sat the Commander behind another barricade as did they.
"Good thing we're both little guys, otherwise we'd be the first to die in the aftermath." said Levi while he and Edward hid behind the barricade.
"Yeah--" said the alchemist, who then realized what the Lance Corporal said. "HEY!"
"Haaa~... meee~..." The energy sparked intensely as it grew stronger.
"PROTECT THE NAKAMA!" Luffy shouted, throwing Double D and Leader 5 behind the barricade.
"PROTECT THE SMALL!" Naruto shouted, throwing Historia behind the barricade as well.
"PROTECT THE BALD!" Natsu shouted, putting Conny behind the barricade.
"PROTECT THE MEAT!" Sasha shouted, taking some meat as she took cover.
"PROTECT THE HORSEY!" Ed shouted, frantically putting Jean behind the barrier.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!!!!!"
The Kamehameha wave bursts from Goku's palms as the erupting Ki energy impacted the face of the Colossal Titan. Plasmic molecules and atoms disintegrated its entire skull and then, almost immediately, its shoulders and upper torso.
The others hid behind the barriers while debris flied by them. Mikasa and Armin held on to the Attack Titan's inactive body as the explosion rocked the ground beneath them. Eren, unaware of the chaos outside, was left in total darkness.
'What's going on out there? Is everyone okay? Are they dying? Oh, God, I can't move my body! Where am I? Am I--? Wait, what's that noise?' Through his unconsciousness Eren hears the sound of an explosion going off. What kind of explosion it was, he was unsure. It may have been one of Goku's magic blasts that he sees him do in combat. It is silent now; for a shortwhile. He then hears voices coming from outside. They were close, but distant. It felt as though an eternity went by in a flash. He was in complete suspension, almost like he was floating in a dream.
"Eren..."
The boy heard a voice call out to him; it was clearly a male voice, but it spoke in a hushed tone, he couldn't tell if was male.
'Who... who are you?' He asked telepathically.
"Eren..."
'I said who are you?'
"Eren... Eren..."
The boy felt as though a presence is near him. He wanted to run, but he was unable to. At least not physically. He now feels the presence directly behind him. A cold sweat poured over his body. Tension was high. What did this unknown figure want. Did it want to bring harm, kill even? He then feels someone rest their hands on his shoulders as some twisted way of comforting him; which the latter did not.
"Eren... Eren... we're watching you."
Eren suddenly woke up with a fright. The nightmare was over. All of Eren's slowly came back to him, as if he had been asleep.
"Eren," said a warm voice. The boy looks beside him, seeing Mikasa and Armin kneeling at his side. "Are you okay?" She asked. He nods 'yes', but as soon as he replies she embraces him in a hug.
Armin smiled. "I'm so glad you're alive. I honestly thought Goku's magic wave would've done us."
"Magic wave?" Eren asked.
"It wiped out the Colossal Titan as well as the other Titans in the area," said Mikasa. She points down to the side of Wall Rose, which was nearly destroyed by Goku's Kamehameha. The headless and torsoless body of the Colossal Titan, still evaporating moments after the final confrontation.
"So it's over then," said Eren as he stood up. "The Colossal Titan is dead. Bertholdt Hoover is no more."
"Not exactly," said Levi, who came up to the trio alongside Hanji Zoë. "From what Double D told us, that Colossal Titan you see before you, is a synthetic copy created by Nazz Von Bartonschmeer."
"A copy?" Eren asked.
"It was basically a giant puppet made of the same organic material as a real Titan, except there's no human that controls it from the inside," Hanji said simplistically. "Rather it was controlled like a tamed animal. It's actually kind of fascinating."
"Does that mean this girl has the same ability as Eren does?" Mikasa asked.
"We don't know for sure. She can't transform into a Titan, so she must've created Titans in a laboratory or something." The Section Commander surmised.
"Wait, the others, what happened to everyone else?" Eren asked worriedly.
"They're all fine. Just a little shaken up from the day we had." said Levi, who turned to the rest of the Scouts, the heroes, and the Eds.
Eren, Armin and Mikasa went over to the rest to see how they were holding up. The boy walks up to Edward, Luffy, Ed, Sasha and Conny, who were trying coax Double D, who was hiding under a table.
Ed was the first to notice Eren, showing his broad, happy grin. He gallops towards Eren and Armin, picking them up off the ground and bear-hugging the two, much to their displeasure. Mikasa, though, got out of the way in time, so she was spared.
"EREN BUDDY IS AWAKE! ED IS HAPPY ONCE AGAIN!" Ed shouted happily.
"Ed... you're crushing me..." gasped Eren.
"I can't breathe... please let go, Ed..." wheezed Armin.
"Easy, there, Ed. They're not plush toys." Luffy chuckled.
Ed puts Eren and Armin down, letting them breathe the sweet, sweet air. "What... happened to... Wall Rose?" Eren asked as he took in some oxygen.
"It was freakin' awesome!" Sasha chimed with excitement. "Goku was all like: 'Prepare to die, Titan!', and he was like..." She then made explosive sound effects to simulate the final battle.
"Yeah, and the Titan was like: 'AH! OH, NO! I'M EXPLODING! NOOO-- BOOM!!'" Conny added with the same enthusiasm as Sasha. "It was cool!"
"But not as cool as what was under Double D's--" Eddy said, but the smarter Ed-boy interjected him.
"Don't you DARE mention it, Eddy!" snapped Double D, extending a chastising finger at Eddy while obscuring his face.
"What's wrong with Double D?" Eren asked.
"Double D doesn't like it when everyone looks at his head," Ed said.
"He lost his hat during the fight so Goku went out looking for it," Edward explained. "I will say, though, I now know why he wears that all the time, and it is not pretty." The alchemist grimaced when he thought back to when he saw what was under Double D's hat.
"It's also really cool, too!" grinned Luffy.
"NO!" exclaimed Sasha.
"Hell, no! What we saw was unspeakable!" Conny said repulsively.
"Thank you, for your validation, Conny and Sasha," Double said sarcastically. "That was very much called for."
"Edward... your arm." Eren said with shock, noticing Edward's lost automail arm.
"What, this? It's nothing. Happens to me all the time," said Edward assuringly. 'Oh, crap, Winry's gonna kill me. How am I gonna explain this to her?' He thought as he imagined his friend beating him to a bloody pulp for damaging his arm for the billionth time.
Just then, Goku flew back up to the top of Wall Rose with Double D's hat in hand. "Hey, Double D, I found your hat." He said.
"Oh, thank Heavens!" said the smart Ed-boy as Goku gave him his hat and the boy puts it back on without being seen. He then emerges from underneath the table, ready to face the world. "Much better. Now my obscurity can no longer see the light of day."
"It lit up our day, though," snickered Eddy, receiving a stern gaze from Double D.
While that went on, Naruto was watching Historia as she talked to Jean. Natsu walked up to the shinobi, noticing who the latter was looking at.
"You know, that Historia girl is pretty cute, I have to admit." said Natsu.
Naruto nodded. "Yeah. But... I'm probably out of her league anyway. I bet she already has somebody else in mind."
"Definitely not Horse Face over there," surmised the Dragon Slayer. "Or any guy at all, for that matter."
"What do you mean?" Naruto asked confusedly.
"I think you know what I mean." Natsu smirked cheekily.
Naruto processed this until he figured out what the Fairy Tail mage meant. "Wait a minute... you know-- but-- how--?"
"I have super hearing, remember?" reminded Natsu. "I already know what you and her were talking about earlier."
"SSSHHH!!!" hushed Naruto. "I promised her that I wouldn't tell anyone!"
"Don't worry, I can keep it to myself. Isn't that what nakama is for?"
"You promise you won't tell everyone?"
Natsu smiled widely. "I'd never break a promise. My lips are sealed." He then raises his fist as if to share a fist bump.
Naruto sighs in relief as he returns the fist bump. "Cool. At least I have someone I can trust."
"Yeah," nodded Natsu. "Although, that kinda makes me wonder: who do you think Historia should be paired with?"
"Well, she did mention someone named 'Ymir', so I guess she's interested in them in some way," Naruto assumed.
"Alright! A potential OTP! Nice!" exclaimed Natsu.
Meanwhile, Commander Erwin was waiting outside the medical awaiting word on the condition of the Titan girl. Yuna soon came back out with a vial in hand.
"Good news, I have extracted the Corruptonium from Nazz. Bad news, since her body rejected the chemical, the goo I fished out turned sentient," Yuna announced as she showed a black and red slime creature inside.
"PUNY MAGGOTS!" growled the creature inside the vial. "WHEN I AM RELEASED FROM THIS GODFORSAKEN BOTTLE, YOUR WORLD, RAVAGED BY ANARCHY, WILL SOON CRUMBLE! DEATH WILL BE YOUR NEW RULER, HUMANS AND TITANS ALIKE SHALL BECOME DUST AND DECAY! WHEN YOUR WALLS FINALLY FALL, THEY WILL BE NOTHING BUT MERE RUINS COMPARED TO THE THRONE OF DAMNATION THAT--"
Outside the glass container, Commander Erwin looked at the creature with curiosity, as the little monster rambled on with tiny, high-pitched squeals.
"What in God's name is that?" Erwin asked with both fascination and shock.
"This is the byproduct of all the negativity affecting this world as well as others," The cosmic guardian explained. "It's the same thing that affected this young girl and the other Scouts.
"This little thing created Titans out of nothing?"
"Well, it was used to make a formula for synthetic Titans, but the chemical makeup is slightly different from what real Titans are made of." informed Yuna.
"I see." replied Erwin.
"Yuna!" shouted the Eds, running towards the cosmic girl.
"Is Nazz all right?" Double D asked worriedly.
"She's not dead, is she?" Eddy asked.
"Has she been given to alien invaders as a human sacrifice?!" exclaimed Ed.
"That was an old episode, Ed." reminded Eddy.
"Oh, yeah," said Ed sheepishly.
"It's okay, guys, she's fine." Yuna assured the Eds as all three of them breathed a sigh of relief. "I have already placed her in the particle chamber. Plus, I think we may be getting closer to solving this twisted mystery."
"Nothing is being solved. We still don't know who the Miracle Worker is." retorted Eddy.
"You're right about that," said Yuna. "However, with every world that we've explored, the trail of negative energy gets warmer. At least, according to the data I've collected so far."
"And all that is left now is to find Jonny--and perhaps the Kanker Sisters--set things right, and return home." surmised Double D.
"Will there be gravy when we get home?" Ed asked eagerly.
"Oh, you bet yer butt there's gonna be gravy, Monobrow," said Eddy. "And also buttered toast, pudding skin, Chunky Puffs, comic books, monster movies, and chickens for you to pet."
"OH, GOODY, GOODY!" beamed Ed as he and his other friends rejoined the heroes.
Yuna was about to follow the latter when Erwin called to her. "Miss Yuna?"
"Yeah, what's up?" She asked.
"You are the curator behind this squadron of elite warriors, correct?" asked the Commander as the cosmic guardian nodded. "After that astonishing battle against the slew of Titans, I was virtually impressed by their battle strategies, fighting capabilities, and inhuman strengths."
"Well, you know my boys, they never save any ass-kicking for last. In fact, it kinda twists my panties that I don't get to join in on the action." Yuna said depressively.
"Which is why I have an offer that may benefit humanity," said Erwin. "I want you and your warriors to join forces with the Survey Corps to defeat the Titans."
Yuna's eyes widened at the Commander as he shared his proposition. "Oh... that's a bit of a tall order, don't you think?"
"With forces like Son Goku's strength, Edward Elric's alchemy and Eren Jaeger's Titan ability, the Titans won't stand a chance." Erwin suggested. "They might even be eliminated within a few days, or a week at most."
The cosmic girl pondered for a minute, then she gave her answer. "I understand how much this would mean for everyone in this world. I mean, I get it, the Titans are a dangerous race that should be eradicated so that the future of your people will be secured for years to come. However, there are other forces more powerful that can easily wipe out this world and others. That's why I was assigned by my boss to assemble the strongest heroes in the multiverse, including Eren Jaeger, to combat this malevolent presence before the universe you live in is destroyed. I'm sorry, but if we get in too deep with other affairs like the Titans, then we may lose track of time and we'll be too late to stop what will soon happen."
"So your answer is 'No', then," Erwin concluded.
"To put it simply: yes." affirmed Yuna.
Erwin processed the seriousness of the girl's words, slowly coming to grips with severity of their current predicament. "Miss Yuna--"
"Commander!" shouted Armin Arlert as he ran towards the officer. "There's another situation going on in Trost! It appears to be on fire, sir!"
With great urgency, Erwin and Yuna went to investigate the so-called fire. They approached the edge of the wall overlooking Trost District along with everyone else. What they saw may be the most strangest anomaly anyone has ever seen thus far. The city below was evaporating into a red and black haze that dissipated and practically became nothing.
"What is that? A fire?" asked Jean.
"No. If it was a fire there would be scorch marks and smoke," surmised Levi. "Those buildings are disappearing into thin air."
"Oh, no..." Yuna said lowly, worry and fear filling her expression.
"Yuna, what's wrong?" Luffy asked the cosmic girl with concern.
"Section Commander..." said a voice as Hanji looked over to see Moblit Berner, who's lower body was covered in the same red and black haze that consumed him. "I--I don't feel so good..."
A/N: And~... all you memelords already know what that last line of dialogue is gonna build up to. Now, before I end this chapter, I'm gonna answer one of your responses:
To Captain Imaginat (Guest): No, I don't intend on making a sequel to this story. To be honest, this story is more of a stand-alone piece. Much like 'Once Upon a Time in Earth Land', this is something I mainly experiment on to improve my storytelling skills and to create better stories. After all, these are my very first fanfiction stories on this site, and you can't really expect to have an entire series of Ed, Edd n Eddy X Anime stories from a first-time writer.
Anyways, don't forget to Read and Review everyone!