A/N: First update of 2019! And to think it's been almost two years since I started out on this site. Speaking of anniversaries, it has also been 20 years since Ed, Edd n Eddy came out in 1999 on Cartoon Network. So major shoutout to Danny Antonucci for creating such an awesome show for us that we have enjoyed to this day! As always, don't forget to read and review!
Chapter 6: Fullmetal Ed - Part 1
Wall Rose (Attack on Titan Universe)
Red and black aura consumed the district of Trost as the deadly world of Titans slowly disappeared into mere particles; Buildings and other structures as well as the environment itself vanished in an instant and the only thing that permeated the void was complete blackness. Soldiers and civilians within the walls were caught up in the dangerous phenomenal purge that ate away at their bodies; like a lethal man-eating bacteria, the strange anomaly stripped away the biological matter until their physical being no longer existed.
A group of soldiers gathered at the foot of the wall as they tried to get to the open staricase that led to the top of the wall. The anomaly quickly caught up to them and consumed, turning them into negative particles.
Meanwhile, at the top of Wall Rose, Hanji Zoe witnessed her own comrade, Moblit Berner, slowly disappear. "Moblit! Stay with me!" She cried as she held the veteran Scout in her arms.
"I don't think I can hold on for so long, Section Commander," Moblit said weakly as his body dissipated into red aura.
"What the hell is going on here?!" Jean Kirschtein exclaimed.
"Why is everything evaporating all of a sudden?" Sasha Braus asked with a fearful tone in her voice.
"It looks like Corruptonium, but in gas form." Edward surmised.
"Worse," Yuna said with a serious and grim expression. "It has already taken a plasmic form. The negative energy has built up so much, it's consuming all the matter in this world as we speak."
"Should we evacuate from the area?" Armin asked the cosmic girl, but Double D interjects him.
"I'm sorry, Armin, but I'm afraid it's not that simple. When me, Ed and Eddy first met with Eren and the others, our world was met with total catastrophe. It was quite terrible, so we had no choice but to go with them and escape with Yuna." Double D explained which received a shocked gaze from Armin.
"So we either get eaten by Titans or we just disappear out of existence?" Conny said with utter hopelessness.
"What if we fit everyone inside the Space Lift?" Goku suggested.
"I dunno, Goku, there's probably not enough space in there to fit all of us." Luffy said.
"We don't have enough time to debate over this," Yuna said as she pulled out a small ray gun. "I can take a handful of Eren's allies using this."
"What the heck is that?" Eddy asked, pointing to the ray gun.
"It's a special device similar to that of the particle chamber which can preserve living beings. Specifically, you guys." The cosmic girl explained as she pointed the gun at Armin.
"WAIT! Are you sure it's safe to use?!" Armin said anxiously.
"Don't worry, I've used this thing a million times before. It's not so bad." Yuna said assuringly. "But just to forewarn you, you might feel a little... different afterwards."
With that said, she fires the gun at Armin, which made him disappear into blue particles.
"Armin!" exclaimed Mikasa.
"Where did he go?" Historia asked concernly.
"Like I said, he's being preserved so that he won't be affected by the Corruptonium and its negative effects." Yuna elaborated once again.
"Yeah, in other words, if you guys wanna live, you might wanna line up and get zapped." said Naruto cautiously.
"So let me get this straight, you're telling me that the world is ending because of some evil space magic and shit, and you want us to get zapped by alien technology?" Levi asked, still skeptical of Yuna's suggestion of being preserved in a particle machine.
"Yes, finally! Someone finally explained it in the simplest way possible. I was really confused at first about this Corruptonium stuff and nobody gave me a simple answer or anything." Sasha exclaimed.
"Well, good for you, Sasha," applauded Natsu. "You're so smart, you get to be zapped next!"
"Yeah--wait, what?" The potato girl said as she was zapped by Yuna's ray gun.
The wall then began to shake as the structure was falling apart from the anomaly's endless destruction. "You guys might wanna make up your minds quickly. The world's gonna fall apart in a matter of minutes." informed Edward.
"Indeed, I suggest everyone should calmly line up in an orderly fashion and--" Double D instructed, but was interrupted by Conny's panic stricken mannerism.
"Women and children first, cause I'm still technically a child!" He yelled as he ran towards Yuna while zapped him in the process.
"Well, protocol is dead, I suppose," Double D said sardonically.
"Speaking of women and children first, Mikasa, Historia, why don't you two go ahead of me?" Jean insisted.
"I'm not sure if I..." Historia said hesitantly as Naruto rested his right hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry, Historia, that particle thingy is perfectly safe." The shinobi said assuringly.
"It's not that, it's just--" Historia said before remembering what Ymir told her when they were still together. The words looped in her head and her expression shifted to a serious and determined one. "Nevermind, I'll go."
The short blonde girl nodded to Yuna as the cosmic girl fired her ray gun, preserving the young soldier.
"You go ahead, Jean, I just need a minute with Eren." Mikasa said.
"You're kidding right? You do realize that the whole world is falling apart and you could die if you stay longer--" Jean persisted until Eren interrupted him.
"Will you just go, Horseface!" shouted Eren.
Jean scoffed. "Fine, whatever, jeez..."
"Bye-bye, horsey!" Ed waved to Jean as the latter growled in annoyance before Yuna zaps him.
"Eren..." Mikasa said as she turned to her adopted brother.
"Yeah?" Eren asked as the dark-haired girl hugged him.
"Be careful, okay?" Mikasa said with soft and caring eyes.
The Titan Shifter nodded in response. Mikasa smiled happily as she gradually went up to Yuna and was zapped into the the safe zone with the others.
"You've got a real good sister looking after you." Edward said solemnly.
"Yeah, I guess I do." Eren replied in a sentimental tone.
"Section Commander..." said Moblit. "You go on without me. I'm willing to stay behind."
Hanji gave out a light gasp. "But, I can't just leave you all by yourself."
"You won't have to," said Erwin Smith as he approached the fallen soldier. "I'll look after Moblit."
"Erwin..." Levi spoke up, surprised by the Commander's decision to stay.
"The future of our preservation is at stake, Levi. It would be best if Humanity's Last Hope and its Strongest would help lead the way against this unknown enemy." Erwin explained.
"He's right," Goku added as he looked down at Levi. "You, Eren and the rest of your squadron have proven yourselves to be capable fighters. If we find the Miracle Worker, with all of our forces combined, we can stop him and bring peace to our worlds."
"Although, subjectively, since your world is already dangerous as it was, it could only be as peaceful as it gets, so--" Yuna added when Wall Rose rumbled more frequently.
"We gotta hurry this up, guys!" Luffy shouted.
"Everyone else, file into the elevator, now!" ordered Yuna as the Eds and the heroes ran towards the Space Lift with utmost haste, while Eren stayed at little longer. "Are you two coming or what?"
Levi and Hanji glanced at each other and then faced Yuna, giving her an affirmative nod. She then proceeded to zap the two of them, sending both soldiers into the safe zone. Erwin and Moblit gave a final salute to both Yuna and Eren before the latter finally took off into the elevator.
Once the elevator disappeared, the two men were now all alone at the top of Wall Rose. Screams were heard from the district as many down below were still caught up in the middle of the anomaly.
"What now, sir?" Moblit asked, his lower body almost completely gone from being consumed by the red and black aura.
Erwin looked up at the sky as the sun was suddenly turning into a crimson ball of light, almost like an eclipse of death. The entire world was now blanketed in the color of blood. Sections of the wall began to come down while the debris vanished like smoke.
The veteran soldier said nothing as he looked at his one good hand; his fingers were evaporating ever so slowly.
The Space Lift
After escaping the currently deteriorating universe, the Eds and heroes as well as their cosmic guide have finally regrouped and are now planning their next course of action. The problem, however, is that neither of them has any idea as to what solution can be found in the current crisis at hand.
"Well, it looks like we're running out of options here, guys." Eddy announced as his back was slumped against the wall.
"What do you mean?" Luffy asked.
"We've been to at least four worlds so far. We have been fighting bad guys left and right, reuniting with our friends and saving each world from certain doom--" Eddy surmised before Eren interjected him for a moment.
"We didn't save all of them, not mine at least." Eren said somberly who was still reeling from the sudden loss of his home.
"Okay, maybe not Eren's world because his is falling to pieces, but for the most part we've been keeping a good track record," The short Ed-boy summarized. "But we're still not doing a lot to stop the Corruptonium from destroying this multiverse."
"Really? I feel like we kinda were." Goku said.
"Eddy, surprisingly, does have a point," said Yuna. "Even though we have been cleaning up each universe one by one, the more we try to fight this epidemic the more it seems to spread."
"How can that be? We already stopped some of the 10 Generals at this point, haven't we made any progress yet?" Double D asked.
"Whoever the Miracle Worker is, they always seem to be one step ahead of us." Yuna elaborated further as she operated the Space Lift. "While you guys were handling the chaos going in the other universes--on top of trying to find the source of the negative energy--I was also busy with keeping the other universes in this multiverse afloat since the Corruptonium is wildly causing so much damage. So far, I've had approximately eight universes completely devastated."
"What about our homes? Are they okay?" Naruto asked, showing deep concern for his friends back in Konoha.
"I haven't been able to check on your world or Edward's yet, Naruto. As for Earth Land, Dragon World and the One Piece universe, they're still stable from when we last left them." Yuna reported, which received a sigh of relief from Goku, Luffy and Natsu.
"It's such a shame. Those destroyed worlds leaving so many lives without a home. It's becoming a tragedy." Goku said with a sad disposition.
"If only there was a way to combat the Corruptonium without having to resort to violence as a way of eradicating this weapon of war; a simple solution that can not only be effective but also efficient enough to save an infinite number of living beings throughout the multiverse." Ed said in a cohesive and intellectual manner that even the smarter heroes could understand.
Everyone, with the exception of Double D and Eddy, was surprised at how well thought out Ed's smart dialect contrasted with his normal pattern of speech. It was so meticulous and premeditated, it even astounded Edward, the alchemist child prodigy who was usually the most intelligent of the group aside from Double D.
"Ed... that was... smart! Dare I say, genius!" exclaimed Edward.
"Can we have pancakes with gravy for breakfast?" Ed asked obliviously.
"And he's back to being Ed, again." Eddy said with an unsurprising tone.
"Does he always have those moments of intelligence?" Yuna asked Double D.
"Well, Ed's rational thought isn't entirely nonfunctional, so it does come up every once in awhile." Edd said informatively. "And I mean that quite literally."
"That's actually a really good suggestion, Ed." said Naruto.
"Pancakes with gravy AND pudding skin?" Ed asked eagerly.
"That sounds delicious, but that's not the point. What if we found another way to get rid of the Corruptonium without having to fight anyone?" Naruto surmised.
"But I love to fight! You can't just avoid fighting!" Luffy argued.
"He's not saying we should stop fighting altogether, he's saying that maybe we can find another way to stop the Corruptonium in a strategic way." Eren explained.
At that moment, Edward immediately had an epiphany. "Of course, why didn't I think of that?"
"Think of what?" Eren asked.
The golden blond boy then stood up and smirked. "We can use alchemy to stop the Corruptonium!" He suggested.
"What a brilliant idea! Using science to fight against what I assume is made by science." Double D said enthusiastically.
"That's kind of like fire vs. fire; I should know, 'cause I eat and breathe fire." Natsu grinned.
"Well, then, you should use your alchemy to start making the Anti-Corruptonium thing, Edwardo! It'll be a piece of cake!" Goku said with a glimmer of hope.
"For the last time, don't call me Edwardo," scowled Edward as he pointed his index finger at the saiyan with disdain. "Also, it's really not that simple, I can't just make something out of thin air. I'm an alchemist, not a magician."
"What do you mean it's not that simple?! You're like a chemical wiz or something!" Eddy exclaimed. "I've seen you turn one of my stink bombs into a real bomb!"
"That's because I used the Law of Equivalent Exchange," Edward explained as he revealed the compexity of how alchemy functions. "The ingredients I used to make the bomb, the methane from your regular stink bomb and the static electricity I collected from the ground to make it more reactive are what I gave in exchange for the bomb that I made."
"I see. It's the principle of Construction, Deconstruction, and Reconstruction that you mentioned earlier," surmised Double D. "Like when you used red fabric to make your jacket, correct?"
"Exactly," Edward replied. "It also applies to all forms of matter. Wood, metal, glass, you name it. In order to make something, I would have to sacrifice another thing to create that in return. If I tried to create something that doesn't adhere to the natural laws, it can cause a lot of harm and chaos."
"Wait," Ed said as he tried to keep up with Edward's explanation. "Yup, my brain stopped."
"Okay, how do I explain this so that Ed could understand." Edward pondered until he had it planned out. "Ed? Do you like buttered toast?"
The simple-minded Ed-boy nodded with excitement as Edward continued. "Well, then, if you wanna make buttered toast with alchemy, what ingredients do you need?"
"Oh, oh, I know! Umm...?" Ed thought long and hard.
"Bre--?" Edward said slowly.
"BREAD! Yup! Gotta have bread!"
"And... what?"
"Umm... um..."
Edward, Eddy, Double D and everyone else looked at Ed in anticipation as he tried to figure out the answer.
"Come on, Ed! You can do it!" Luffy exclaimed with encouragement.
"Just think really hard!" chimed Naruto.
"OH! Butter!" Ed shouted.
"Good!" smiled Edward, despite being really annoyed by Ed's slowness. "And how do you make the bread into toast?"
"That is easy! You use a toaster!" Ed answered.
Edward gave the dumb Ed-boy an awkward look before responding. "Well, actually you can't use a toaster--whatever that is--in alchemy, you would need fire or heat as a needed element. But 2 out of 3 ain't bad, though."
"Did I pass the test?" Ed asked.
"You sure did, Ed." Double D said supportively.
"Oh, goody, goody! Now I'm a buttered toast wizard!" The taller Ed-boy said ecstatically.
"So if we find the ingredients that can be created into a tool that can ward off the Corruptonium, we'll be able to defeat the Miracle Worker a lot sooner?" Naruto asked.
Edward shrugged. "Perhaps, but honestly, I don't even know where to begin. It'll take a lot of time to find the ingredients, measure the amount of the ingredients, and conduct tests to figure out what we need to create this Anti-Corruptonium weapon. If I was still back in Amestris, I would have enough resources given to me by the military to start my research."
"If that's the only lead we have, then it's probably our best lead." surmised Yuna as she punched in the coordinates into the elevator's computer. "Next stop, Amestris. Hang on to your panties, boys."
"Here, you're definitely gonna need this, Natsu." Luffy said as he handed a sandwich bag to the dragon slayer.
"Thanks, Luffy--" thanked Natsu as he was struck ill with motion sickness once again.
A few minutes ticked by as the elevator traveled through space and time to get to the next universe. Finally, for what seemed like an hour, the Space Lift finally comes to a stop.
"Well, here we are, guys, Amestris." announced Yuna as she pulled the switch to open the elevator doors. As she did this, however, the power inside the elevator suddenly went out. The girl tries to reboot the system, but nothing seemed to respond. "Ah, crap, not again."
"What's going on?" Goku asked.
"The elevator's jammed. It looks like another quantum glitch." Yuna said as she tried to fix the technical issue.
"Great... as if it wasn't boring enough riding this stupid thing." Eddy said with a pessimistic tone.
"At least we're not moving anymore, that counts as a plus one." Natsu sighed as he no longer felt nausea from the constant movement of the elevator.
Suddenly, the computer began to spark as the elevator were suddenly forced open. The warning alarms went off as the Space Lift was comprimised; the escaping air created a vacuum as the oxygen leaked from the open doors. Yuna, Goku, Luffy, and Naruto were the only ones wearing their safety straps while the Eds, Natsu, Eren and Edward held on to the railing that was bolted to the walls as the suction pulled them towards the open doors.
"Everybody hang on!" shouted Goku.
"Edward!" yelled Double D as his hands slipped from the railings.
"Double D!" Edward shouted as he grabbed the sockheaded Ed-boy by the wrist with his one arm.
Eddy and Ed each grabbed one of the alchemist's ankles while still holding on to the railing.
"Geez! He's so heavy!" Eddy groaned as he struggled to pull Edward's left ankle back.
The railing that Ed hung onto suddenly began to snap free of its moorings. "Uh, oh, not good." Ed uttered as the railing broke off all four Eds screamed as they were pulled out of the elevator by airless suction.
"NO!" The others shouted as their comrades were sucked out.
"I'm going after them!" Natsu said as he pushes his feet against the wall and propelled himself towards the open doors.
"Natsu! Wait!" Yuna yelled after the Fairy Tail mage.
"Yuna! Close the doors! Hurry!" Goku yelled as the girl complied.
She closes the doors to the elevator, but not before Natsu successfully goes through. Once the doors were closed, the oxygen supply came back on and the entire room was refilled with fresh air. The remaining took in huge breaths once the crisis was over.
Realizing that five members of her team were casted out of the elevator, Yuna's composure was beginning to break down. "This... this is not good."
Natsu
The Dragon Slayer divebombed through the portal as he descended towards his falling friends. Once he passes the passageway between worlds, he finds himself falling through the sky. As he got clear of the clouds, he eventually sees the ground below him, which was endless green fields the surveyed the landscape. The fire mage's eyes, however, was more focused on Ed and Eddy, who screamed as they were still falling downwards. Natsu then used his flaming feet to accelerate himself to catch up with his friends.
"WHEEEEE!! I feel like a pigeon, Eddy!" Ed laughed and hollered as he flapped his arms like a bird.
"Ed, you're really making our impending deaths look anti-climatic. At least have some dignity or something." Eddy said in an annoyed but chastising manner.
"Ed! Eddy!" yelled Natsu as he swooped down to their level.
"Hi, Natsu!" greeted Ed.
"Quick, Lizard Boy, do something!" Eddy panicked.
"Hang on! I'm gonna have to make a crash-landing!" Natsu said as he grabbed the two Ed-boys and made a quick descent towards the ground below. As they got closer, they see a train traveling along a lengthy railroad track. "Brace yourselves!"
The Dragon Slayer crashed right into one of the passenger cars while the train was still in motion. The impact left a large hole on the roof of the car as Natsu landed without injury.
"Man, what a rush!" said an adrenaline-fueled Eddy.
"You guys okay?" asked Natsu.
"We're fit as a fungus, Natsu." affirmed Ed.
"Good," smirked Natsu as he started to feel dizzy again. "Ugh, I'm going down again..."
The Fairy Tail mage collapsed on top of Eddy and Ed as the latter made a startled cry. The shorter Ed-boy crawled out from underneath Natsu's incapacitated body and rubbed the dirt off his clothes once he got up.
"Well, of all the places Natsu decided to land in, it just happened to be on a moving train." griped Eddy.
Ed gets back up as he looked around the train car. "Where's Double D and Edward?"
Eddy sighs. "I dunno, Ed. They're probably on the otherside of the world for all we know. That portal we were sucked in was pretty insane." He said as he walked towards the end of the passenger car.
"I'm gonna go find the train conductor and see if he'll let us off at the next stop. Look after sicky over there, will ya?"
"Aye, aye, Captain Eddy!" Ed saluted as he watched over Natsu, who was overcome with motion sickness caused by the moving train.
The young boy opened the car door and walked through the short corridor that connects the two cars together. As he opens the second car door, he sees that the entire car was dimly lit, with only the sunshine peaking through the windows. There was something off about this car; it felt very eerie and ominous to say the least. It was deathly quiet, with the exception of the train wheels constantly clicking against the rails.
"Hello?" Eddy called out. No response. He steps through the doorway, entering the silent passenger car. Rows of empty passenger seats stretched out on each side of the train car. Luggage littered the barren walkway and the compartments hanging above the seats. Everything was calm and settled despite the messy luggage strewn about. "Somethin' ain't right here. Where the heck is everybody? This place looks like a scene from a horror flick."
He then hears a clatter near the back of the car as if something had been knocked over. Eddy's heart skipped a beat as he heard the noise. "W-who's there?" He stammered fearfully.
Eddy then hears another sound; a sound that sounded very unpleasant. It was squishy and damp, like someone was playing with wet noodles. The boy then heard shaky breathing coming from the same direction as the clattering and squishing noises. He decided to walk a little further towards the back until he sees something on the floor.
It looked like a piece of meat, but it seemed so out of place that a hunk of meat would be sitting in the middle of the walkway all by itself. Before he could take a closer look at it, however, a hand grabbed the meat and pulled it back into the shadows; Eddy jumped with fear once he saw the pale and disfigured fingers appear. He then noticed from the corner of his eye, tall figures concealed in darkness emerging from behind the empty seats.
The boy looks up as he sees a face appear in front of him; it was a horrid looking monster that had a gourd for a head, human eyes and a long tongue. Its body was similar to a human's but it had roots growing through its limbs. It slowly limped towards the boy since the freaky-looking creature could not walk properly. Eddy shrieked and ran for the door behind him just before the creatures began to grab at him.
Eddy runs through the car door and slams it behind him, barricading it with a pile of luggage. The monsters banged and moaned on the door as they tried break through. "ED! NATSU!"
"Wha--what? What's going on?" Natsu said groggily, still suffering from motion sickness.
"Are you okay, Eddy?" Ed asked concernly.
"There's a bunch of gourd-headed monsters on the train, Ed! They must've eaten all the passengers on board and now they're coming to get us!" Eddy exclaimed hysterically.
"Monsters? That's so cool!" gawked Ed.
"No! It's not cool! Those things just tried to kill me!" Eddy shouted.
"I ain't afraid of no monsters..." Natsu said sickly as he struggled to keep himself standing and from blowing out chunks. "Where are they? I'll knock those... bastards to hell and... back!"
"Ya can't do nuttin' while the train's still moving, you walking bonfire!" retorted the smartmouthed Ed-boy as the weakened fire mage fell over. "Speaking of which, we need to get off this thing, pronto!"
"I know! What if we made the train stop?" Ed suggested.
"Great idea, Ed! We'll go to the train engine up front and pull the brake; once the train finally stops, Natsu won't feel sick and he'll blow the monsters to kingdom come! Come on, let's break a leg!" ordered Eddy as Ed picks up a sick Natsu and the trio retreated to the train engine.
Just then, the gourd monsters started to break down the car door while they all bottlenecked through the narrow corridor. The two Eds and Natsu hurried to the front of the train. As they made it to the next passenger car up front, Eddy noticed an abandoned Transmission Room that had a working radio. He stopped as another idea went through his head.
"Ed! You and Natsu get to the engine, I'm gonna use that radio to call for help!" Eddy called out.
"Be careful, Eddy! The monsters are close behind us!" Ed shouted back as he and Natsu proceeded to the front.
Eddy then slinks into the Transmission Room, closing the door behind him so that none of the monsters can get in. From there, he began to fiddle with the knobs and switches while he signaled the nearest airwave that is in range with the train. "Come on, come on! Work, baby, work!"
State Alchemist Headquarters (Eastern Command)
Sitting in his office, State Alchemist Colonel Roy Mustang was sifting through the daily paperwork that was placed on his desk. As he was signing multiple documents, another thought had constantly crossed his mind; Recently, one of his subordinates, Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, and his brother, Alphonse, have been missing for almost a week.
The boys were on a search for the fabled Philosopher's Stone, a stone that can create anything without having to use Equivalent Exchange, when they found a promising tip that lead them to it. That was merely days ago, and they haven't reported back ever since; the Amestrian military is still searching for them.
The Colonel had a feeling that the Elric Brothers' disappearance may have had something to do with their investigation into the Philosopher's Stone, but nothing ever came up that proved otherwise. It was as if the boys disappeared off the face of the Earth.
While he was lost in his thoughts, Roy was then interrupted by the commanding voice of Riza Hawkeye, the 1st Lieutenant, "Colonel Mustang, sir."
Mustang glanced up at the Lieutenant as she saluted in his presence. "Hawkeye, anything to report concerning the Elrics?"
"I'm afraid not, sir. We've combed through their last known location dozens of times and we've found nothing." informed Hawkeye.
"Hmm... well, then, I guess it's back to square one. We won't be getting any closer to finding those boys if we keep chasing a red herring." surmised Mustang.
"Do you think they may have known something vital regarding the stone, sir?" Hawkeye asked.
"Beyond a shadow of a doubt, that may be a possibility." Mustang replied.
Hawkeye nodded. "There has been some rumors going around that Edward Elric and his brother may have deserted the military."
The Colonel scoffs at this notion. "As if that would be any further from the truth; even if Elric did want to leave, I don't think he would have done so without any notice. Something is amiss about it, I don't know what, but it may be in relation to whatever conspiracy is transpiring within the military--"
Just then, a soldier came rushing in to Mustang's office. "Colonel Mustang, sir!"
"What is it now?" Roy replied impatiently.
"I'm sorry to interrupt you, sir, but one of our radio operators has just received a distress call!" The soldier informed the Colonel.
"What's the situation?" asked Mustang.
"I think it may be a runaway train, sir!"
The Colonel looked over at Hawkeye and then back at the soldier as he gave an affirmative nod. He gets up out of his seat and marches over to the radio room with Hawkeye in tow. Once he got there, one of the operators, a woman in unform, was communicating with the distressed person on the line.
"What's going on?" Roy asked the lady working the radio.
"There's a boy on the line saying that he's on a train and that there's nobody on board besides him. Other than that, I can't decipher a single word he's saying because of his constant panicking." The woman replied.
"Here, let me talk to him." Roy said as the woman operator gave him the receiver. "This is Colonel Mustang speaking."
"Colonel Mustang? Yeah, right, and I'm Professor Plum and I suggest it was Mrs. Peacock in the ballroom with the candlestick." The boy on the other end replied sarcastically, questioning the legitimacy of the Colonel's reply.
"Is this some kind of joke?" Mustang said with irritation.
"Does it sound like I'm joking to you?! Clearly, I'm freaking out right now!" The boy replied in a panicked tone.
"Just tell me who you are and where you are right now." demanded Mustang.
"My name's Eddy and me and my friends are stuck on a moving train! There's nobody on board and we're trying to get off this crazy thing! There's also something else that's trying to kill us!"
"What is it? Is it a terrorist?" asked Mustang.
"I dunno what they are but they're all over the place! We need help as soon as we can get the train to stop!" Eddy replied with a much louder voice.
"Calm down! Now tell me, what is going on? Is there a bomb? Has the train derailed? Just tell me already!" Mustang asked the distressed boy in a demanding tone.
"I'm telling ya! There are monsters on the train and we need help, you--" Eddy then started expressing many expletive words as he yelled and hollered incoherently, further agitating the Colonel.
"Sir, if I may, let me speak to him." offered Riza Hawkeye. Roy sighed as he gave her the receiver. "This is Lieutenant Hawkeye speaking. Could you please calmly reassess your predicament for me?"
Eddy took a deep breath before responding, "Okay, my name is Eddy and me and my friends are on a moving train that's heading to nowhere!"
"All right, is the conductor there with you so that I may speak to him?" Hawkeye asked with a composed disposition.
"No! There's nobody else on the train besides us! No conductor, no engineers, and no passengers! I think they're all dead!"
This statement stunned Hawkeye and Mustang as they both listened to Eddy through the radio. She continued to speak through the receiver, "Eddy, you mentioned to Colonel Mustang that there are 'monsters' on board?"
"Yeah, and they're freaking ugly, man! One of them tried to bite my face off!"
"Do you know which train you're on?" asked Hawkeye.
"I dunno. Wait, there's a map over here, let me check it," Eddy said as the receiver went silent for a moment. "Okay, it says that the train is Engine No. 5 and it's heading to... East City Station?"
"That's not far from here," informed the Lieutenant.
"If that train is under attack then we can't let it reach the station." said Colonel Mustang as he feared that a potential terrorist attack could cost even more lives. "Someone get a hold of Major Armstrong and tell him to head to the train station! Call the station as well and tell them to evacuate the terminal and lock it down until the Major gets there!"
"Yes, sir!" affirmed a soldier.
"Hawkeye you keep talking with the civilian. We need as much information as possible." ordered Roy as his subordinate replied with a nod.
Riza then continues to talk through the receiver, "Eddy, do you know how fast the train is going?"
"Pretty fast, I guess." Eddy assumed.
"Can you get to the front of the train?" inquired Hawkeye.
"Don't worry, my buddy Ed's gonna stop the train himself. He should already be up there by now,"
Meanwhile, back on the train...
Ed carried Natsu over his head while the sounds of the growling Gourd Heads that pursued them. The Dragon wizard's throat filled with bile with every motion that shook his body. They eventually reach the front passenger car which was directly connected to the engine. Ed opens the door to the outside; the coal car was the only thing that was between Ed and Natsu and the locomotive that's pulling the passenger cars.
"Ed... we gotta get... over that car..." Natsu groaned.
"Okie-dokie, karaoke!" exclaimed Ed, tossing the Fairy Tail wizard onto the pile of coal in the car before jumping in himself.
The duo emerged from the coal bunker, completely covered in soot, as Ed got up and approached the boiler that powered the train; the fire spewed from the open firebox as lumps of coal burned to a crisp. The engineers that piloted the train were nowhere to be found, so it seems that our lovable oaf is the only one who can stop the train.
He scans the gauges and valves that functioned the engine until he found a lever that was labeled 'Brake'. "I found the brake!"
"Just hurry up and pull it, already!" barked Natsu before closing his mouth to keep the vomit from coming out.
The tall Ed-boy grabbed the lever and pulled it hard. In an unfortunate twist, however, his immense strength was more than enough to snap the brake right off.
Ed's eyes widened at the dismantled lever that he held in his hand. He looked over at Natsu awkwardly, "Oops, I broke the brake."
"Ah, crap," Natsu groaned as he fell over in agony.
Meanwhile, in the Transmission Room, Eddy was still communicating with the Lieutenant that responded to his distress call. As he was talking with the woman on the other end, loud bangs and creepy moans emanated from the otherside of the door which meant that the Gourd Heads were trying to break in.
"They're coming in! I'm trapped!" yelled Eddy.
"Eddy, what's going on?" The woman inquired.
"I gotta get outta here!" Eddy exclaimed as he looked around for an exit. He looks up to see a ladder that lead up to a hatch in the ceiling. The boy places his foot on the first step of the ladder and began to climb. "Ah-ha! Perfect! I'm booking it, now, baby!"
"Eddy? Eddy, are you there? Answer me!" The woman shouted through the receiver just when the Gourd Heads broke down the door, only to find the room to be empty.
Eastern Command
"Hello? Eddy, are you still with me? Eddy, answer me!" Hawkeye demanded while the receiver kept emitting static before finally cutting off. "We've lost contact with the train, sir."
"Well, then, there's not much we can do but wait until the train shows up," replied Mustang as he heads towards the exit. "Come on, Hawkeye, we have to get to the station, now."
"Sir," She nodded affirmatively as they and a small squadron of soldiers followed the duo closely.
Train
Eddy stood on the roof of the passenger car as he emerged from the hatch. The wind that blew against the train fanned the smoke venting from the engine's smokestack in Eddy's direction, blinding the adolescent; he coughed and gagged as he accidentally inhaled the thick, black haze which covered his face with soot. He crawled on all fours so that the smoke wouldn't affect his vision.
Once Eddy reached the end of the front car, he looks down from the roof to see the coal car directly below him. He sits on the edge, counts to three and throws himself onto the bed of coal where Ed and a sickened Natsu were waiting for him.
"Hi, Eddy!" greeted Ed.
"Ed! Pull the brake, quickly!" ordered Eddy.
"I already did. It broke," Ed said as he showed the broken lever to his friend. Eddy groaned with exasperation while he facepalmed himself.
"If only I could... eat the fire... from the... firebox," Natsu said sickly.
"I got it! I'll try pulling the throttle!" The short Ed-boy surmised as he tried pulling back the longer lever that controlled the speed of the engine; despite giving it his all, the lever wouldn't budge.
"Can I try?" Ed offered.
"No way! You're just gonna break it!" Eddy yelled, pushing Ed aside as he kept pulling the throttle back until it snapped as well.
"You throttled the throttle, Eddy." Ed said dumbly.
"Shut up," Eddy grumbled.
They then hear a low growling coming from behind them. The two boys look up to see a Gourd Head standing on the pile of coal; it's jaw filled with jagged teeth opened as it snarled like an animal.
Ed and Eddy screamed as the monster lunged at them. Just when the lives of the two Eds flashed before their eyes, Natsu, using what little strength he had, grabs the creature by its neck; it thrashed around a bit while it gnawed and hissed at the Dragon Slayer.
"I am sick of these mother-freaking gourds on this mother-freaking train!" seethed Natsu, throwing the monster into the firebox, burning it as it screamed in agony.
Eddy then closes the damper on the small furnace, trapping the Gourd Head inside. Loud bangs emanated from the interior of the engine which ceases almost immediately. The train then received a boost in speed as the burning Gourd Head was utilized as an unusual alternative fuel. An enormous jolt shook the locomotive, knocking the three occupants off of their feet as the train picked up speed and rocketed past multiple fields in a flash.
"Ludicrous speed!" Ed shouted as he started laughing with excitement.
Natsu groaned as the intense movement of the train worsened his motion sickness. Eddy held on for dear life while his body was thrusted against the nearest wall.
A sudden incline listed the train upwards as it went up a steep hill. Like an oversized, off-road vehicle, the train flew off the track and into the air; the line of passenger cars that were dragged along detached from the leading engine. The Gourd Head-infested cars crashed upon hitting the ground while the train landed back onto the tracks.
Eddy looked back at the carnage that was left behind in their wake. "Well, good riddance to those things, whatever they were."
"Aw, man... I really wanted to... fight them," The Dragon mage said as bile filled his throat.
"Tunnel!" Ed pointed as the train approached the mouth of a dark tunnel.
As the locomotive entered the tunnel at its maximum pace, darkness enveloped the three boys with the only light source originating from the firebox.
"Hey! Who turned out the light?" said Eddy.
Ed then opens the firebox, allowing more light to illuminate the inside of the train. Suddenly, odd visions and hallucinations began to appear in the tunnel as the light relflected off the walls.
"What the heck? What am I looking at? Ed, are you seeing this? Ed?" The short Ed-boy inquired to his larger companion who just stood in front of the firebox with his back turned.
He then turns to Eddy, his face reflected by the lighting of the flames which shadowed the features of the creepy expression that was--for some reason--cemented on him.
"There's no earthly way of knowing, which direction we are going..." Ed recited with an eerie monotone. "There's no knowing where we're rowing, or which way the river's flowing... is it raining, is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing?"
"You okay, Ed?" Natsu asked concernly.
Ed then gets close to Natsu and Eddy's faces, which were now inches away from his own. "Not a speck of light is showing so the danger must be growing... are the fires of Hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing? YES! The danger must be growing! For the rowers, keep on rowing! And they're certainly not showing... ANY SIGNS THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!"
Ed, Eddy and Natsu screamed in unison as nightmarish visions of demons and apparitions surrounded the train; the firebox blazed with actual hellfire while the sounds of evil laughter and the train's metallic whistle filled the air.
Daylight then returned as if it came back on with the flip of a switch. The train screeched as it reemerged from the tunnel. All of the strange and lucid visions were now gone, as if they were never there to begin with. Eddy looked around to see that everything that they witnessed in the tunnel was an illusion.
"I don't know what the heck that was, but I'm just gonna pretend that didn't happen," Eddy said shockingly as beads of sweat trickled down his face.
East City Train Station
As hundreds of pedestrians were evacuated from the terminal, soldiers sent by the Eastern branch of the military blocked off all entrances to the station as another squadron secured the platform. Outside the station, a vehicle pulled up with Colonel Mustang and 1st Lieutenant Hawkeye stepping out. They observed the taped off scene that seemed to grow more chaotic now that the military was called in.
"Where's the Major?" Mustang inquired, closing the front passenger door after exiting the car.
"He's already inside the station, Colonel," confirmed a soldier.
"Good, let's hope that whatever happens we're prepared enough to handle it." said the Colonel.
"Sir, permission to speak freely?" Hawkeye asked as Mustang nodded in reply. "I'm not sure if we are fully aware of the crisis at hand. The outcome of this could be unpredictable."
"I was thinking the exact same thing, Hawkeye. But I know for sure we are taking the right precautions to prevent any more casualties," Mustang replied with a smug look. "Besides, what could possibly go wrong?"
Just then, inside the station, one soldier who was sweeping the platform heard a train whistle coming from outside. He looks over to see a lone train engine speeding towards the empty platform.
"Hey! There's a train coming!" He yelled to his fellow soldiers.
"It looks like it's not slowing down," said another soldier.
"What do we do? They didn't exactly cover how to deal with runaway trains during our cadet training!" exclaimed a third soldier.
"Stand aside, gentlemen," said a booming figure as he walked by the other soldiers. "This is a job for an Armstrong!"
Meanwhile on the train, Ed was laughing and fooling around with the train's whistle like the baffoon he is; Eddy, on the other hand was getting fed up with his compatriot. "Ed! Would ya stop messing with the whistle! It's not gonna slow the train down!"
"It's really fun, Eddy! Wanna try?" Ed offered when he noticed something up ahead. "Hey, what's that?"
Eddy squinted his eyes as he sees the train station directly ahead of them. "AHH!! We're gonna crash!" Both Eds screamed as Ed continued to pull on the whistle multiple times.
Back on the platform, the large man jumped down onto the track as his sparkling charisma gave out literal sparkles; this man was Major Alexander Armstrong, whose single lock of blond hair stood out on his shiny bald head. He took off his jacket as he showed off his large flexible torso like a bodybuilder, abs, pectorals and all.
"All right, Alexander, let's show that rogue locomotive what a real Armstrong is made of," proclaimed the State Alchemist as he cracked his knuckles while tearing his gloves clean off. "Come get some!"
The train chugged vigorously towards the buff man while Ed and Eddy continued to panic. The shorter Ed-boy sees the man standing in the middle of the train tracks as the engine got close to him. "Hey, pal! Get outta the way or you're gonna get hit!"
Armstrong stood his ground, however, and did not adhere to the oncoming train. Just when it seemed he was about to be taken out by the train, a miracle occured; the man grabbed the train by the prow, causing him to skid a few feet. The massive wheels locked in place as the train was stopped entirely. The engine was crushed like an aluminum can due to the awesome strength that came from the Major.
The other soldiers on the platform watched in awe while the Major opened the door to the engine. "Is everyone all right?" Armstrong inquired.
Ed, Eddy and Natsu were extremely dazed from the impact but the former was fortunately still alive. Ed shook off his temporary paralysis as he took in his surroundings and saw Armstrong in front of him. "Hello, shiny man!"
"London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down..." Eddy said dizzily as he fell into Armstrong's arms.
"Seriously? What kind of adult would allow children to pilot a train without supervision?" chastised Armstrong.
"Ugh... I don't feel so good..." groaned Natsu as he jumped out of the wrecked train engine. Then, after holding it in for so long, the Dragon Slayer finally throws up.
Meanwhile...
Among the demolished passenger cars left behind by the runaway train that passed by earlier, three wicked figures investigated the wreck site for reasons that may be more than dubious. A fat man in dark clothing with foreign markings lifted debris as he hungrily searched for something to eat; he comes across the corpse of a Gourd Head which enticed him. The fat man tears its head off and bites into it. He spits it back out disgust, realizing that it wasn't as tasty as he imagined it to be.
"This isn't flesh! I need flesh!" The fat man whined as he wasn't satisfied with what he thought was his dinner.
"Just because it looks like flesh doesn't mean you can eat it, Gluttony," scolded a slim woman who wore a black dress, heels and had raven hair. She also had the tattoo of a serpent on her cleavage which stood out as significant detail in her appearance. "Honestly, just looking at these Homunculus rejects makes me sick."
"Yeah, aside from the humans, they're pretty much inferior compared to us," said another figure, who was also slim, wore dark clothing and had long hair that stood out like a palm tree. Their gender, however, isn't fully determine as they showed androgynous features that makes it hard to identify them as either male or female. "I bet it was that Gourd guy who's been experimenting with humans and produce again."
"As if it wasn't obvious enough," The woman said with an aloof tone. Suddenly, a live Gourd Head grabbed her by the ankle while it wheezed and moaned; the woman wasn't phased by this creature's unsettling hunger and she proceeds to do away with it by crushing its head with her heel. "Judging by all this destruction, those Eds must have been on that train."
"I bet the Gourd was trying to attack the human city with the train full of human experiments. But his plan didn't do so good, did it?" The cannibal humanoid named Gluttony grinned widely.
"No, but I think he's up to something even bigger," replied the androgynous humanoid.
"Well, well, Envy, for a monster you're pretty perceptive," said a disguised voice as the three figures turned to see another figure wearing a dark gray robe and a metal mask that obscured his indentity.
"You again? Still watching from the sidelines I see?" inquired the female humanoid.
"You know as well as I do that I'm more than just a spectator; I am the game master, the ringleader, the judge, the jury, the executioner, etcetera, etcetera." The masked man replied.
"What do you want now?" The humanoid named Envy said rudely.
"I was that you've been planning to take down the General of this world, correct?" inquired the masked man.
"You don't seem to care about the Gourd so as much as your own goals. Surely, you're as ruthless as everyone makes you out to be." said the woman humanoid named Lust.
"Not entirely, but you're right about my last remaining subordinate," The masked man said callously. "He and the other Generals are starting to become useless to me. Still, I am ever so closer to completing my mission. That's why I'm here to tell you that if you destroy him for me, I'll be forever in your favor."
"Favor?" Gluttony asked.
"We don't need favors. Not from you or anybody." sneered Envy.
"And besides, we know you're not a god. So don't even try to fool us with your charm. You can't grant wishes or anything, all you have is that chemical of yours." said Lust.
The man sighed with exaggerated disappointment as he turned on his heel. "That's quite a shame. You three would have been one of the best additions to my coalition. But if that's how you feel, then I won't try to change your mind."
"Sorry, buddy, but we take orders from Father, not some weirdo in a mask." Envy said smugly. "Now piss off, or we'll have to kill you."
"Oh, I may be a weirdo in a mask to you, but believe me when I say this: You don't wanna mess with the likes of me." The masked man forewarned as he disappears through a warp portal.
"What a creep," said Lust who was still maintaining her aloofness.
"If we see him again, can I eat him?" Gluttony asked hungrily.
"Forget him, let's just focus on getting the Eds. They'll be useful to our cause once we have them," The Homunculus Envy said with a despicable grin.
"They were probably on the train that came through here," Lust surmised as she surveyed the damaged passenger cars and looked towards the train tracks. "If that's the case, then they must have been heading towards East City."
"This is just too perfect," Envy said wickedly as his grin widened. "I think it's time we've scheduled a play date for our new friends."
Edd
Blackness was all that Double D could see as he could no longer control his senses; obviously, the young boy was unconscious so that explains why he function properly. However, despite being unaware of his surroundings, he can hear someone calling out to him. It was more of a muffled echo, but it got louder and louder as if it was getting closer; the more it got louder, the more clearer Double D could hear it.
"Hey... hey... hey, wake up!" The voice echoed. "Are you okay? Wake up!"
Double D immediately opened his eyes, but he didn't see clearly enough as his vision was still adjusting to the light. Once he could see, he looks up to see none other than Edward Elric, who looked more rough and had less texture. Beside him was a large suit of armor, who looked down at Edd with curiosity. Edd also scanned the area and realized that he was in the middle of a field underneath a tree.
"Hey, kid. You're not hurt, are you?" Edward asked concernly.
Double D sat up and rubbed his head tenderly, "As a matter of fact, I am a little sore at the moment, possibly from the long and harsh descent, but I can assure you I am not injured severly."
"So that's a 'yes'?" Edward replied confusedly.
"Precisely," Double D nodded.
"Well, that's a relief. We kinda thought you were hurt." The suit of armor spoke, which surprises Double D.
"Did that armor just speak to me?" Edd said in a dumbfounded tone.
"Him? Oh, that's just my brother, Alphonse." said Edward as he introduced his brother.
"Hello," greeted the armor.
The sock-headed Ed-boy smacked his forehead in realization. "Of course, I almost forgot, you already mentioned your little brother before. It's a pleasure to meet you, Alphonse. Your elder brother has told me everything about you. Well, not everything, but enough to know you as a person."
"Excuse me?" said Edward who was completely caught off guard by Double D's response.
"Ed, do you know him?" Alphonse asked his older brother.
"Can't say that I do," Edward replied. "Uh, what was your name by the way?"
"Why, Edward, that's a rather coy statement. I guess you must have hit your head hard enough to forget my name," Double D assumed. "But seeing as how I have met your brother for the first time, if you must know, my name Eddward as well. However, since my name is spelled with two Ds instead of one, you may address me as Double D."
"He has the same name as you do brother!" beamed Alphonse.
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I know this kid." Edward insisted.
"What do you mean by that? Surely, you haven't forgotten everything," Edd said with puzzlement.
"What are you talking about? I just met you." The alchemist replied, who was beginning to feel a little agitated by this kid's persistence.
"You mean you don't remember the experiences that we have had together? Not even the times where we defeated multiple adversaries and helped repair the worlds of our comrades?" Double D said, reminding the blond boy.
"Are you assuming that I'm your boyfriend or something?" Edward replied.
Edd stared at Edward awkwardly as his embarrassment overcame him. "O-okay, maybe I didn't phrase that correctly."
"Brother, are you sure you don't remember him?" Alphonse asked.
"I'm positive, Al. I honestly don't know who this kid is or why he knows me well enough," Edward said to his younger sibling.
"You know, I have just noticed that your automail arm is completely fixed," surmised Double D. "I suppose your friend Winry must have repaired it for you, didn't she?"
"Hey, wait a minute, how do you know who Winry is?" Edward glared at the Ed-boy as he gave him a suspicious stare.
"Oh, ha, ha, very funny, Edward. I think I'm starting to suspect that you're just trying pull a practical joke on me," Double D said in a chastising manner.
"What?!" Edward yelled as his temper began to flare up.
"Just drop the act already. This isn't the time to be playing games, our homes and our friends lives may be in serious danger!" scolded Double D.
"I'm so confused, right now," Alphonse said as he rubbed his head in confusion.
"I dunno what you're talking about, but it's making no damn sense at all!" The alchemist fired back at the younger boy.
"Oh, for Heaven's sakes, would you please stop that!"
"Stop what?! You're the one who's acting like a lunatic! Why don't YOU stop it?!?!"
"I AM NOT GOING ALONG WITH THIS CHARADE ANY LONGER, MISTER!!" Double D shouted.
"Double D?" said another voice.
"Not now, I am--" Edd stopped when he sees that the person that he was talking to was actually behind him. "Edward?"
The real Fullmetal Alchemist in question stood in front of Double D; what sets him apart from the other Edward was that his automail arm was missing. The other Elric and his younger brother looked at him with shocked expressions.
"Who the hell are you?!" exclaimed the second Edward, pointing a finger at his doppelganger.
"I should ask you the same thing!" The first Edward yelled.
"Now I'm even more confused!!" exclaimed Alphonse.
Double D was even more dumbstruck than everyone else; so much so that he started to spazz out. "But if he--then you-- then--then--you're him! He's him! But--but--I was talking to--him! And you're him--but he's also him--and--and--he's you! And you're him! Duh--duh--duh--oh, dear..."
The severely astonished sockhead then passed out from having his mind blown to an extreme degree.