Chapter 21

Legolas pushed the horse as fast as he could away from Evelyn. He could not think straight. Nothing was making since. Pain tore through his chest as her piercing scream ended, Legolas grunted, closing his eyes, trusting the horse to take him back to the city, no longer able to control the steed. Gripping his chest, a sob escaped his lips. 'What is happening to me?' he cried to himself. Never could he remember such gut-wrenching agony. Every breath was torment, a struggle to force his lungs to take in air. Every heartbeat felt as if a sledgehammer was being beaten against his chest. 'Is this my punishment?' Legolas thought, 'She did this to me.' Then Evelyn's words trickled into his mind… "Too self-absorbed…What I felt from the beginning?" Shaking his head, he tried to force the thoughts from his mind, force the look of her face away, but he could not. 'This is what I did to her,' Legolas realized, becoming overwhelmed with feelings of shame and guilt. He just wanted the feelings and the pain to go away, not understanding how anyone endures such sorrow. Slowly, he came to realize just how easy it was for his kind to fade. 'She cannot fade.' The thought reverberated through his mind, reeling back to the revelation of his father's knowledge. A new emotion pushed away his grief and hurt—anger. His father had meddled in his affairs, again. Intruded on his personal life, for what? What had he possibly hoped to gain?

Legolas did not get a chance to ponder the question longer as the clacking of hooves upon stone brought his attention to focus. He was back in Minas Tirith, at the gate to the stables. Without so much as a word, he dismounted and stalked to his chambers, all those around giving him a wide berth, and scampering away, only the King followed him.

"Leave me be Aragorn," he spat, pacing through his quarters.

"Aye, I will, after you tell me what has transpired."

Aragorn took a seat by the hearth, the fire from the night still burning low on the slowly dying embers. He watched as his friend growled and shot him a murderous glare and continued to pace, throwing punches here and there into the stone wall. Finally, the Prince sank into the chair exhaustion consuming him, bloodied knuckles rubbing his face. It was not until his arms drooped loosely at his side that Aragorn managed to get a look at his friend's face. It was a haunted face, hollowed and emptied, it was a face he had seen before.

"This concerns Evelyn." He stated.

"Aye."

The man stayed silent, watching the elf intently as he struggled to speak.

"I do not know what is happening to me, it feels as if I am being torn into thousands of pieces. It hurts to breath, there is an emptiness inside me.

I went after Evelyn this morn, ere the sun rose. Through my anger I was blinded, I had not truly contemplated, truly realized what it meant that Evelyn is immortal. I do not understand what runs between us, but I know I am better with her. When I caught up with her at the falls, I tried to explain, to make her see, but I failed. I was too late. Thanks to my father I am forty years too late.

At your coronation, my father realized there was something between Evelyn and I. That night he spoke to me of the fate that awaited me should I fall for a mortal. He spoke of the terrible sorrow and pain that would plague me until I sailed or faded to the Halls of Mandos, facing the fact I would still never see her again once released. I was frightened, Aragorn; I did not want to fade, nor did I wish to face such an end watching as she grew older before my eyes, as time stole her from me."

Sudden recognition flared in Aragorn's mind. The morning they found her walled in ice in her room, so detached from anything and everyone it seemed as if she would fade right then and there, this was why. Legolas, following his father's cunning words, broke their friendship and anything else that was growing from it. This was why she left for Rivendell with his foster brothers without a goodbye. It was all making sense now.

Finally, Legolas continued, "She tried to tell me that day by the White Tree, but I did not heed, I walked away believing my father's words to be true, believing I could not be wrong. I do not believe I have ever been more wrong. My father knew, Aragorn," he whispered, voice ripe with despair and laced with seething anger, "He knew she was immortal. He knew she could not fade and still he did this. For his own selfish reasons, he did this…and I am no better than he."

The pair sat in silence, Aragorn deep in thought, his heart aching for both of his friends. Picking the pieces together that went unsaid, he knew that Evelyn had pushed the Elf Prince away, unable to accept his new-found revelation, and he could not help to think at what cost to both of them? He saw the tortured look upon Legolas' face, and he remembered Evelyn that day so many years ago in her icy fortress, a sigh escaped his lips.

"You love her." The king stated.

Legolas' head jerked up, "No!" he exclaimed, "I do not know. I do not know what love is."

"Yes, you do Legolas, your father loves you, your mother loves you."

The elf barked out a strangled laugh before replying, "I do not remember my mother, and my father's love is tainted with his selfishness and pride, just as mine would be."

"But you remember what your mother made you feel do you not? And as for your father, love makes one do many things they would not normally do. It is because he loves you that he fears to lose you. He lost much when your mother passed, what you feel now is only an inkling of what he endured." Aragorn held up a hand, halting Legolas' interruption, "Whether what he did was right or wrong, he did it out of love."

Legolas had no response for his friend. He knew he spoke truthfully, but it did not ease his heart, which he swore was breaking in two between the betrayal of his father and Evelyn's rejection. His mind was swirling with all the information he had acquired in the past few hours.

"I need to be alone for a while."

Aragorn nodded, standing to leave, he stopped at the door, turning slightly to look at Legolas one last time, "Remember mellon nín, there is always hope," and with that he strode silently out the door, shutting it softly behind him.

Legolas remained seated where he was gazing off into the distance, his eyes focused on the single white dove that chose to lite on his window seal.

…

Elladan walked into the dining hall that evening, a troubled expression on his face, one that was not missed by Elrohir.

"What is amiss brother?"

"Have you seen Evelyn? I have not seen her since the celebrations and neither has Ceilin." He stated, missing the worried glances Aragorn and Legolas sent each other, both knowing the last time she was seen was that morn with Legolas and it has not gone as planned. Worry built in their stomachs.

"No," he paused, "Now that you mention it, I have not."

"What do you know?" Arwen hissed under her breath to her husband as she noted his expression. Aragorn shook his head.

"Not here and now." He whispered back, "Unless you want bloodshed." Arwen jerked her eyes to the Woodland Prince, noting the hollowness and guilt. Aye, something had happened between the two again, and Aragorn was right, if her brother got wind, nothing would stop them from attacking Legolas, but Evelyn needed to be found.

"I am sure there is a simple explanation." Arwen stated, forcing herself to seem calm as her insides coiled in fear. "Brothers, have you checked her favorite spots? The stables or library perhaps?"

"No, no I have not." Elladan spoke quickly, "Come, Elrohir." Though his brother was already pushing hastily away from the table, anticipating him, and both hurried away in search of the woman. They did not have far to go.

"Where in the world are you two running off to?" Evelyn's clear voice rang out as she strode into the hall stopping them in their tracks.

"We were going..." Elladan started,

"…To look for you." Elrohir finished, both looking at her strangely.

"Well here I am." She stated, giving them both a bright smile.

"Where have you been?" Elladan demanded, he knew something was up. Evelyn at times would disappear at Rivendell but only when she was upset or on a significant date. Something occurred but he did not know what. It was not a date he remembered her leaving on before. No, this was something new.

"Oh relax," She laughed, placing a hand on his shoulder, "I merely went for a ride to the falls, however, Granat got the idea to roll in the mud, it took quite some time to clean him and myself up to be presentable for dinner."

"Come, let us eat, I am famished."

In all reality she was anything but, the thought of food had her stomach rolling in protest, but she forced it aside, pushed it into the box she forced all her other emotions into as she collected herself from the rock only shortly before arriving. She had lain on the rock for some time, the passing of time lost on her in her grief. It had been the hardest choice she had had to make yet and she was fighting constantly to adhere to her decision, all she wanted to do was run back into Legolas' arm, but she knew she could not. Her body ached for him and her heart, well she was not sure she had one anymore. It beat to keep her alive and nothing more, she had destroyed all that was left of it. Keeping her focus on Arwen, she did not look towards where she knew the Elf Prince sat. That was more than she could handle currently, all her energy was needed to keep up her façade, but she felt his eyes boring into her.

Legolas could barely keep his mouth from hanging open. She acted as if nothing had occurred, it was if this morning had never happened! How? He had heard her scream, felt the pain in it, felt it shatter his heart, rip him apart. Watching as she sat down across from Arwen, striking up small talk of the weather and the celebration. Narrowing his eyes, he subtly studied her, taking in her face. Slowly he noticed it, the shimmering of ice that coated her features, and barely just barely, he saw the faint purple shadows under her eyes, the protrusion of her cheekbones, he watched as she played with the food on her plate, rather than eat any of it. Briefly her eyes passed his as Aragorn spoke to her, drawing her attention from Arwen and the twins. They momentarily locked, and he saw the emptiness and anguish ripple in their depths as she quickly controlled herself once more and answered the King. Pretense! That is what it was, she was faking, and doing a damn good job, her eyes told him all he needed to know. What Legolas could not understand was why she let him know she was acting, why would she not just act as if she was unaffected? He was not able to ponder over the thoughts in his mind long, as Eldarion burst into the hall ahead of his nanny who looked worse for wear.

"Evie!" He called as he raced into the hall and scrambled into the woman's lap. The ten-year-old boy was getting much too heavy to do so, but she had not the heart to tell him otherwise, knowing that soon he would think he was too old for such antics.

"Yes, my little prince?" She questioned, laughing gently at his eager face.

"I managed to get Dragon to collect and lengthen his stride the first tries today!"

"Well that is quite the accomplishment, I will have to think of harder task for you next, something to challenge that quick mind of yours, won't I?" She asked, laughing again at his eager nodding.

Dinner continued in such the same manner, a chair having been brought forth for the young Prince, he now sat beside Evelyn and kept her busy with tales of his day and his ride with Dragon. She was quite happy to oblige. Then the topic turned darker as the King brought up the departure of the army, Eldarion's exuberant mood quickly became subdued and he looked worriedly about the faces at the table.

"Your Majesty, would you like me to escort the Prince back to the family chambers?" His nurse asked, bowing before the King.

"No, he may stay. He is of an age where he needs to see what it means to rule a kingdom." Aragorn replied, and Arwen frowned, she wanted to save their son from such un-pleasantries, but she knew in her heart that Aragorn spoke truth. They could not hide the darkness in the world from him no matter how much she might wish to,

"Very well Your Majesty." She bowed again and left the room.

"When is it you plan to leave?" Faramir asked, taking a large gulp of his wine.

"A week's time, as the sun rises." Aragorn replied. "Each morning I have received new reports of attacks on our borders, some beginning to reach into our lands. Every moment we waste, more lives are lost and this new evil allowed to grow. We cannot linger any longer."

"Aye you are correct, every day the enemy grows stronger." Glorfindel responded.

"Faramir, I am trusting you to hold the defenses of this city." Aragorn looked to his steward and friend.

"I will see it done."

"Tomorrow morning, we announce it to the soldiers, give them time to say their goodbyes to their families and prepare what they must." Aragorn continued.

"Aye," They all agreed in unison, eyeing one another warily. They all knew this would be a long hard war, one they would not win easily.

Evelyn sat in Arwen's chambers late into the night after they put Eldarion to bed.

"What occurred between you and Legolas?" Arwen asked, sipping the wine she had poured them both.

Evelyn looked up at her friend partly in shock and partly with suspicion, "What are you talking about?"

"When my brothers grew concerned over your whereabouts, I saw the looked passed between my husband and Legolas. You may not have been lying over where you where, but you were not entirely truthful."

Evelyn sighed, "I did what I had to do Arwen, what was left of my heart, I have destroyed. I beg of you, leave it at that."

Arwen saw then the anguish her friend was covering up, and she wanted nothing more than to arm her arms around her and offer what comfort she could, but she knew as well as Evelyn, there was not the time. "As you wish. For now, we must discuss your plan and gather supplies."

Evelyn took a large gulp of her wine, nodding at her friend, "Yes, let us get busy."

…

The morning of the departure arrived much too soon for anyone's liking. The morning matched the moods of all those in the city. Dark grey clouds covered the sky, threatening rain, just as the people stood forlornly to see off their men, tears brimming in the eyes of the women and children, though none fell. There was a palpable thickness in the air, tainted by the trepidation and despondency within the walls.

Evelyn stood behind Arwen and Eldarion as they made their way down the line of men they were seeing off. The woman looked into the kind and gentle eyes of Glorfindel and Celeborn, she did her best to wish them well, but found she had not the words.

Celeborn reached forward and pulled her into a hug, "I have watched you grow over these many years, my child, from the time you first came to our woods. You have become a magnificent woman and a gifted Kelvarwë. Do not forget who you are my dear one, you have yet a part to play in this world."

Before Evelyn could voice her questions, Glorfindel pulled her from Celeborn into his own arms. "Celeborn speaks true young one. You have done so much, but there is more to yet you still must do. I trust you have a plan?"

Evelyn stared at him, mouth agape, wondering just how they both knew. Slowly she nodded, closing her mouth, "Aye I do."

"That is my girl," He smiled and kissed her forehead.

The twins came next, and her heart clenched tightly. She looked them up and down, their armor shining even under the clouds, swords at their hips and bows on their backs, they looked every bit the formidable warriors they were.

"My brothers." She breathed, holding back her tears, "There are so many things I wish to say, yet, I cannot find the words."

"Peace little sister," Elladan spoke, laying a hand on her shoulder.

"I am sorry."

"There is nothing to be sorry for." Elrohir spoke, grabbing her hand.

"Watch out for each other."

"Always," They said in unison with smiles, though they did not reach their eyes. Reaching on her tip toes, she kissed each of them on the cheeks.

And then she faced Legolas. Her heart skipped a beat in her chest and her breath hung in her throat. Every fiber of her being told her to walk past him, ignore him, but she could not. Evelyn stood before him, eyes on his chest, his eyes focused on the horizon. His body was rigid, taut with nerves. She could feel his anger, fear, and uncertainty in the air, taste it on her tongue. Evelyn took a steadying breath and looked to his face. She placed a hand on his cheek, felt him jump at the contact though his eyes continued to avoid hers. "Be careful," She spoke, reaching to place a light kiss upon his cheek, "For me." She knew she had no room to make such demands and quickly averted her gaze, missing the shocked and pained look as he finally looked at the woman before him.

Aragorn was now before her. "I do hope you can forgive me." He stated with a sad smile on his lips.

"There is nothing to forgive, my friend," she replied, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I only want to see you safe and happy." Aragorn told her, eyes full of concern and sadness.

"I know, you do as you must." She smiled and kissed his forehead, "As must I." She stepped away, seeing his confused expression, and choosing to ignore it.

Shaking his head and pushing his thoughts from her comment, the King addressed his people and his soldiers, and then they marched from the city gates, knowing that not all that left would return, and if they did, they would not be the same.

Evelyn stood on the ramparts with Arwen, taking her hand in her own, watching until the last soldiers disappeared. They remained standing there, hands intertwined until the last rays of daylight disappeared on the horizon and a lone white dove took flight from the stone wall and followed the army to whatever end.