Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

This story has been adopted. The original was written and discontinued by Amiiix3. I was graciously given permission to continue the story as I saw fit. Thank you Amiiix3 for your trust.

I sighed resignedly and pulled myself away from Edward, slipping my hands into my pockets to keep from doing something drastic.

"We might as well get this over with then," I suggested.

Edward stared at me long and hard, assessing me until I felt hot and uncomfortable under his sharp gaze. "Edward?" I raised an eyebrow. He shook his head, coming back from where he had been lost in his thoughts.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to," he said again.

I rolled my eyes. "But I want to. I'm just dreading it." He cocked his head, confused.

"You've never felt like that before?" He shook his head, so I attempted to explain, "It's sort of like," I looked around, trying to think of a good example. A black bird soared overhead, reminding me of those awkward airplanes. Less than a decade ago, the planes had seemed to be making their shaky flights through the sky always, day and night. I recalled vaguely hearing people talk about a war. The Great War, I believed they called it.

"Have you ever wanted to join the army?" I asked, turning to Edward suddenly, just as he had opened his mouth to awake me from my thoughts. He paused for a moment, closing his mouth slowly and mulling it over. I knew he was slipping back into his old thoughts, the recollections of his human life.

"Yes," he answered quietly.

"It's like that, then," I declared triumphantly.

"Wait… your need to go to the market, although you are dreading it immensely, is the same as my desire to join the army, as a human?"

"Exactly!"

He cocked his head cutely, in a gesture that was becoming very familiar. His topaz eyes sparkled with curiosity. "How so?"

"I'm sure that although you wanted to join the army, fight for your country, become a hero, et cetera, you were frightened at the prospect of dying in war; of never marrying, of never seeing your mother again." We stared at each other for a long time. I felt a long-forgotten sadness attempting to sweep over me, plucking at the delicate strings of my long-dead heart. His eyes were glued to my own as though he was trying to look inside me, the unfathomable expression tugging at his brow.

"I know just what you mean," he finally sighed, turning his head away. I caught a glimpse of his expression– resolutely melancholy.

"Yes… it's like that. So, I want to be brave and do what's right and tame the beast," I chuckled, "but I'm scared at the same time. What if something goes wrong?" He nodded again, possibly tired of my anxiety-induced chatter. Then he stepped closer and slipped his fingers through mine, and my mouth immediately snapped shut. I tightened my grip on his hand as we began walking, past the last few trees and out into the cold, gray, Alaskan market.

We walked ever closer to the gaggle of crudely built stalls and buildings that made up the market. Suddenly, the scent of freshly blooming flowers filled me, from the crown of my head to the tips of my toes. I inhaled deeply, my throat feeling suddenly dry, and all thoughts slipping from my mind. I need it…

"Bella?" The voice seemed to come from a great distance. It slipped in one ear and out the other. "Bella!" the familiar voice shouted as I took off running. My other senses were dulled by the ambrosial scent wafting through the air. I ignored the shouts behind me, shaking off the soft touch on my waist and then the tighter grip on my wrist. It took me only a moment to find the source of the smell: a tall, pale man with a tuft of messy white-blond hair.

I slowed my pace as I neared him. His back was to me and he seemed to be squinting at something– or someone– across the narrow walkway. The wind billowed around us, pushing against my back and driving his scent away from me.

For a moment my head cleared. I blinked away the red-hot hunger that had taken me. I turned away from the man and let the wind– slightly colder than my skin– splay across my face, calming me.

"Bella!" Edward called, power walking towards me. An instant dread swept over me. Would he be angry that I had lost control so easily? If it had not been for the wind, I would have killed the man. I glanced behind me quickly, and was nearly frightened out of my mind when I saw the man staring back into my eyes with a look of dread, awe, and lust.

I spun right away and walked briskly towards Edward. "Let's go." Grabbing him by the elbow, I marched him right back up the hill and into the forest.

I only stopped once we were safely back in our secluded clearing, the trees closing in behind us. As soon as I knew I was safe, I fell to my knees, suddenly wary– not physically, but mentally.

I let my head drop into my hands, happy to have the thick curtain of hair to hide me from view. I did not hear Edward for a long moment and I was terrified that my previous fears were to be confirmed– he hated me for my weakness. Then his strong arms were wrapped around me, a smooth hand gently brushing the hair back from my face and locking it behind my ears.

"Bella…," he murmured into my ear, sending chills down my spine. I shook my head, knowing this was not a time to feel hormonal.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

My head snapped up. "You're sorry?" He nodded solemnly. "Why are you sorry? I'm the one that should be sorry." I paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? And why shouldn't I be sorry?" Edward was just as frustrated as I was.

"You shouldn't be sorry," I began, "because you did nothing."

"Exactly," Edward groaned. "I should have done something– anything, but it was so sudden and I could hardly go running after you and I think maybe you used your power and took my strength, because I felt like I was going at a snail's pace. I'm sorry I didn't save you."

"Save me from what– myself?"

"I think you're the person who puts you in the most danger."

"This is confusing," I groaned, letting my head fall back into my hands.

Edward was quiet, letting me brood in silence. Even the light weight of his hand on my back was barely a comfort.

I had let him down. I had let Esme down. I had let Kate down. I had let Irina down. I was a monster. I had almost killed a man. A man! He must have had a family. Maybe he had been watching his wife, perhaps she was the thing he had been squinting at.

I could not stop the suddenly gruesome images from running through my mind, as real as daylight: instead of stopping, I kept going. I stepped right behind the man, my head barely reaching his shoulder. 'Excuse me,' I trilled sweetly.

He turned slowly, his eyes remaining for a moment on the spot he had been staring at. The empty space took the shape of a woman. She wondered who he was speaking to. He gave her a loving look and held up one finger, indicating that he would be over there with his wife and children in just a moment.

Then his eyes met mine and a dazed look took over him. They grew more foggy as they slid down my frame, still attractive even while wrapped tightly in the thick coat even. He breathed deeply, inhaling my seductive scent. I breathed deeper, inhaling his. Oh blood, oh blood, how I love you so.

'Yes?' His voice cracked.

'Come with me,' I commanded softly, looking up at him from beneath my lashes. He nodded hazily and followed without a single word.

Where is Edward? I thought as I slipped my arms around this man's neck and took him to hell while I went to heaven. He did not scream, only moaned and uttered a few silent words with his last few breaths. Where was Edward?

"Edward?" I lifted my head and the darkness behind my eyelids turn to bright, shattering white light. We were still sitting in a white field of snow, just on the edge of the forest. There was no man. There was no market. There was no blood.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Edward's hands were rubbing my back; I could even feel his fingers through the burly coat.

I realized I was panting and shook my head. "I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"Were you dreaming?" he wondered, looking awed.

I shook my head. "Is that possible?"

He shrugged. "We can't sleep, but that doesn't mean we can't daydream. I think…"

I shook my head again. "I wasn't dreaming. I was just thinking– terrible things. About the man. What if I had killed him? What if– what if– Everyone was counting on me and I let them down."

"No one was counting on you. Everyone's had a drop of human blood. A drop, at least, whether intentional or accidental. You drank human blood before this—"

"Before I knew there was another way! I had no idea you could drink from animals… I thought I would die if I didn't drink blood and I just didn't want to die a—" I broke off awkwardly. I had almost said something extremely embarrassed. I just didn't want to die a virgin.

"Die a…?" Edward pressed.

"Die a… Die. I just didn't want to die," I finished lamely, making it quite clear I had something to hide. And Edward's mind was probably going off in places only a teenage boy's could.

He nodded understandingly, though. "Don't die then. Don't think terrible things then."

"How can I not? I have no control. It's like something takes over my body and I can't help anything I do– terrible things."

Edward slid closer to me, his arm slipping around my shoulders and dragging me to his side. "Then don't think terrible things," he repeated. I let myself melt into him. Something tickled my chin. At first I thought it was his fingers, but then I saw a large, fluffy brown ball of fur.

"A cat!" I cried, leaping to my feet.

"A cat?" Edward stood up slowly, his eyes wary as they watched me expectantly. I glanced around. Where had the cat gone? Then I caught sight of his coat and the cap attached to the back of it. I doubled over with hysterical laughter.

Edward raised both his eyebrows, utterly bemused. "A cat…?" I laughed again, pointing to the furry, brown hood on the back of his coat. He lifted it between his forefinger and thumb, making a face. "I certainly hope this is no cat."

That stopped my laughter instantly. I took hold of my own furry hood, striped gray-black, and squinted at it as if that would tell me whether a poor animal had died for it.

"And I truly hope that's no raccoon, because those are infected with rabies, and who knows if that can turn you into a rabid-thirsty vampire." Edward grinned.

I, on the other hand, was not laughing. I glared at him, pinching the edge of the rabies-infected coat. "I refuse to wear this thing!" I began unbuttoning it.

"What's that they say? It's a common saying really… um… déjà vu!" he cried enthusiastically.

I paused in the act of unbuttoning my coat, remembering our eventful walk to the market– and ignoring the sting the word 'market' gave me. "Oops…"

"Definitely déjà vu."

I left my coat unbuttoned, but kept it on, smiling at him shyly. Edward folded himself back on the ground. "Now, where were we?" He grinned coyly as he slipped his fingers into my own and forced me onto the ground with him. The snow seeped through my clothing, quickly dampening the tights and making them utterly unusable again.

I sighed, leaning against Edward, running my fingers back and forth across the front of his coat. I began to play with his buttons and before I knew it, they were undone. He wore a thin, black button-down shirt, the color clashing beautifully with his pale skin. I needed to touch him.

I leaned closer and pressed my lips against the base of his throat, as he had done to me earlier that morning. He sighed softly and pulled me closer, so that nearly half my body was on his chest. I continued to work my way up his neck, enjoying the marble-smooth feel, the flowery taste, and the overall masculinity, obvious from the muscles beneath my fingers.

I pressed chaste kisses all the way up to his jawline, then traced his angular jaw with the tip of my nose, inhaling. He groaned and shifted, pulling me ever closer.

I grinned and, as I longed to do, captured his lips with mine. Our mouths moved slowly against each other, and then it became more urgent. His hand slipped behind my head, pressing my lips to his, gluing me to him. I opened my mouth to take a quick and unneeded breath, and breathed his scent; it made me dizzy.

In a brave move, I traced his bottom lip with my tongue. It was smooth, as if it had been polished and the taste was heavenly. He groaned, returning the favor by tracing my lips with his own tongue. One of his hands was twisted in my hair, but I felt the other slide, ever so gently, down my back. When he reached my waist, he pushed beneath the coat and I could feel his fingers perfectly on my stomach through the sheer undershirt.

His lips never left mine as his nimble fingers danced across my skin, playing wicked games with me. I gasped as they slipped ever lower, just the edge of a finger beneath the band of my skirt.