A/N Hey hey guys! Here's an update for you guys. This one is Steca heavy so.. Surprise! No Smut. Sorry. I hope you enjoy this. Some revelations are made. And for those of you who are rooting for Stacie, you're going to be even more pissed at Chloe after reading this. At least I was, after I thought of it of course. Still not sure how the hell to bring Chloe down a couple notches. Obviously I plan on making her jealous of Stacie, but is that really enough? Will it hurt enough? Should I make her think that Beca wants her back and then squash her dreams? I just don't know.
As always. Please let me know what you think. Mistakes are mine for sure.
Confessional
"It's been two fucking days, Amy. Two!" Stacie Paced the mansion's living room. "She won't talk to me. How the hell is she eating? I've sat by her door for hours trying to get her to let me in. What the hell happened? It's been fine! Then, all of a sudden, she won't come out of her room?"
"Stacie. Look, Legs. I know you're worried. But this is Beca effin Mitchell we're talking about. She's probably in there, holed up, making music."
"Amy. Her studio is on the first floor. Not up there."
"What? Oh, that's it. Not again."
Amy stormed her way to Beca's room and started pounding. She waited about ten seconds listening for a response. "Shawshank! If you don't open this door, I swear on my jelly wrestling trophies, that I will break it down!" She waited another 30 seconds. "Don't say I didn't warn you!" Amy took a few steps back and ran towards the door, busting through it with her shoulder.
Amy groaned and rocked holding her arm as she watched an amused Stacie stroll past her and wink.
Stacie stormed over to the lump on Beca's bed. "Beca! What the fuck?! Get your ass up!" She heard a groan but saw no movement. Stacie huffed. "Beca, if you don't sit up and tell me what the hell is wrong, I will throw you in the shower. Cold shower." Stacie stood there tapping her foot. Oh, she is really fucking testing me right now. "Ok. You asked for it." She ripped the blankets off the small brunette, and for a split second she almost stopped. She almost changed her mind. Seeing the small woman in the fetal position, staring blankly back at her, almost stopped her. Then she thought. No. Beca doesn't need sympathy right now. Right now, she needs a swift kick in the ass. We can deal with the sympathy later, when she's actually fucking talking to me. She grabbed the girl's feet and pulled her to the edge of the bed then, in one swift motion, had her over her shoulder.
Beca was light as a feather, but boy did she pack a mean punch. Stacie almost dropped her the few times Beca's flailing around actually landed a few on her back. She sat Beca in the shower and turned the cold water on full blast. Finally, Beca looked pissed.
"What the fuck, Stacie?!" Beca tried to get out of the shower, but Stacie just kept pushing her back in. "Dude! Let me the fuck out! I'm going to get hypothermia or some shit!"
"It's either hypothermia, or talking to me. Pick your poison, Mitchell."
"What?!" Beca gave Stacie an incredulous look. "Stacie, you can't be fucking serious."
"Try me."
Beca tried to glare but couldn't get it quite right due to her shivering. "Fine. Get me the fuck out of here."
Stacie nodded. "Fine." Stacie turned down the cold water and put some hot water in the mix. "Take a damn shower, Mitchell. You smell like shit. I'll put some clothes out for you." Stacie walked away from the gaping producer.
Amy smirked at Stacie as she left the bathroom. "Well. I guess that's one way to do it. Maybe you should be the one wrestling dingoes. I still get the jello though."
Stacie laughed. "Sure, Ames. Hey, could you do me a favor?"
"Depends. How much does this favor pay?"
"How about a whole day at the spa, on me of course. I just really need some time with Beca. I know you want some too, but I just want to try to pull her out of her head a bit before she takes you on." Stacie beamed at Amy.
"Ha! Jokes on you, Legs. I already had planned on leaving you here to deal with moody Beca. I have an apartment viewing. But yes. I will take your credit card and go to the spa."
Stacie handed Amy her card and watched as she walked over the broken doo. "Only the spa, Amy! I better not see any weird shit on my statement!"
"What?" Amy yelled as she left the room and went down the hall. "I'm sorry, were you saying something? I didn't quite catch that."
Stacie laughed and shook her head. These two are going to be the death of me. I'm honestly glad the rest of the Bellas already left. I don't know if I'd be able to handle all of them right now.
About twenty minutes later Beca walked out of the bathroom, sporting nothing but a towel. Stacie had to pull all her strength out of her ass to keep from reacting. She closed her eyes when Beca dropped the towel to get dressed. A minute or so later Beca coughed.
"Um. So. Thanks, Legs. You know. Again."
"Nu uh. Sit. Talk." Stacie patted the spot next to her.
Beca sighed but did as she was told. She knew she owed Stacie at least that.
"Spill it, tiny."
"I. Um. Well. I kind of got lost in my head a few days ago. I couldn't stop thinking about everything, ya know?"
Stacie nodded but didn't say a word. Her eyes bored into Beca's urging her to continue.
"Well. I had some questions in my head that I couldn't get out. And. There was only one person who could answer them. So I called her. I called Chloe." Beca saw the look of shock that passed Stacie's face, but still Stacie said nothing. Beca went on to tell her the conversation she had with Chloe. She left nothing out. As she neared the end of the story, Stacie noticed how the brunette started to look smaller and smaller. It took everything in her not to pull Beca into a tight embrace. Beca needed to get this out, and Stacie knew it. "At the end. Um. She told me she loved me." Beca whispered those last words.
Stacie's eyes almost popped out of her head at the statement. She gulped and tried to push her emotions down. "So." Stacie coughed to clear her voice of said emotions. "How do you. Uh. How to you feel about that?" Stacie hated how her voice wavered, but she managed to not cry, so that's something right?
Beca huffed and fell back on the bed. "Dude. I don't even know. Like. What the fuck? What is that? How am I supposed to feel? You know? I mean, I know it was over three years ago but, I never let myself get over it I guess. I mean. Fuck, I don't know, Stace. I've been thinking on it since the call. Trying to sort my thoughts out, ya know? Like. Ok. She said she loves me, right?"
Stacie nodded.
"But she said that for the three fucking years that we were together, and yet she still cheated on me. So. What do those words even really mean coming out of her mouth? I mean, I can't say that I don't miss her because I do. But. I don't want her back. Like, not in that way I guess? But she was a big part of my life. I loved her. Like actually loved her. As a friend first and then a girlfriend. And then I think about how fucking pissed I am. I mean she ripped my fucking heart out, so how could I not be? I want her to suffer like I have. I want her to break like I have. And then I start feeling even more like shit, because that makes me a terrible person."
"No, Beca, it doesn't. It makes you human. That's all. I mean, shit, she didn't even do anything to me and I want her to suffer too! So what does that say about me?"
"That you're a good friend." Beca gave a slight smile.
"So why is it that I want something to happen and yet, to you, I'm still a good person? Why are you so hard on yourself, Beca? You try to carry the weight of the whole damn world on your shoulders, and I just don't understand why."
Beca sighed. "I don't know, Stace. I just don't get how I feel. Like. I miss my friend you know? But then when I think about being around her again it makes my stomach turn and I want to puke. How is that possible? Wanting someone in your life, but at the same time wanting them as far as possible from you?"
Stacie looked down ather hands. "I don't know, Beca. I wish I had the answer."
"I guess I just wish that I never dated her. If I had just stayed friends with her, then none of this would've happened. I guess that's why so many people choose not to date their friends. It changes the whole dynamic. If you end up in a nasty breakup, then not only do you lose a girlfriend but you lose a friend as well. And. That sucks."
Stacie rubbed her temples, trying to keep her own personal questions at bay. She just wants to help Beca. She wants her happy.
"You know what's funny?" Beca said while staring at the wall in front of her, sporting an actual smile.
Stacie looked up and couldn't help the quirk of her lips at the sight of her friend's smile. "What?"
"The day that Chloe asked me out, I had told Chloe that I was going to ask you out."
Stacie went frigid and wide eyed. "What?"
"Yeah. That's how the whole conversation got started. I had asked for help, but then she started crying and confessed her love for me or whatever. I kept telling her no, I didn't want to get attached and then her run off. She was my best friend. But eventually she convinced me that she wasn't leaving. And it's not like she's not attractive. And I already loved her as my best friend. I knew it wouldn't be hard to make the transition. And I was right. It wasn't. I fell for her hard and fast. I gave her everything because I trusted her. And then, boom, I lose my best friend and my girlfriend. And then I lose the rest of my friends because it's like my brain had a kill switch and decided I wasn't strong enough to deal with everything."
Stacie was still in shock. She liked me? SInce fucking when? What the hell? Fuckin Chloe god damn Beale! Always in the way. Does she still like me? Shit. No. Shut it down, Stacie. Pull it together. She's just talking to you. That was six years ago.
"I honestly don't know if I'll ever let anyone in like that again. I mean. I couldn't even trust my best friend with my heart. I haven't even kissed anyone since her. I mean sure, I've fucked girls, but I never kiss them. Kissing is too intimate and I didn't want to get caught up in all that. Especially since I knew I didn't feel anything for them. It was easier to kick them out the next day if there was no intimacy."
"Wait wait wait." Stacie said shaking her head. "You haven't kissed anyone in three years? How is that even possible? That's like my favorite part. Apart from orgasms, of course."
Beca full on laughed. "Oh, but of course."
Stacie bit her lip. Should I kiss her? I mean, what would I say if she rejects me? 'Oh Beca, I was just trying to help. No one should go that long without a good make out session.' Psh. Yeah. That'll work. Stacie rolled her eyes at her own sarcasm. And then, if I kiss her but then she finds someone else, will I be able to handle that?
"What?" Beca asked.
"What, what?" Stacie returned looking completely confused.
"You rolled your eyes. Why?"
"I was just. Uh. I was just thinking."
"About?" Beca inquired.
"Kissing you." Stacie finally said, bluntly.
It was Beca's turn to be in shock. Stacie was quick to pick up on it.
"I just mean. I mean. Uh. Well. You haven't kissed someone in three years, Beca. And I'm willing to let you test the waters on me, ya know? Like maybe prepare you for your next girlfriend. Because eventually you will have one. And do you really want to be that out of practice when they come around?" Oh, what the fuck did I just do?! What the fuck! Oh my God. Oh. My. God. for someone with a Ph. D. you are fucking dumb.
"Um. Stace. I don't. Uh. I mean. I don't think that's a good idea."
Stacie deflated a little at that. Yeah she kinda had word vomited all over Beca for a minute, but it's not like she wasn't being honest. Well. Mostly. She definitely wouldn't mind kissing , ok, that was the only truth in that. But Stacie was willing to go through the torture of Beca getting another lover, if it meant that she finally got to kiss the girl. At least once.
Beca saw her deflate and tried to salvage the situation. "I just mean, Stace, that it's not a good idea because I'm attracted to you. I don't want shit to get weird between us."
"Beca, it's better to kiss someone you're attracted to." Stacie was beaming on the inside at Beca's admission of attraction. But she had to play it cool. She knew Beca's fear of friends thanks to the red head across the country. She didn't want to pressure beca. She wanted Beca to develop her own feeling and come to her with them when she was ready. But she was definitely ok with kissing Beca. More than kissing if that's what Beca wanted. "Look, Shorty, I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend. We both know you're not ready for something like that with anyone. All I'm offering is my help. If you want it. Get your feet wet."
"Or something else wet." Beca playfully smirked at Stacie. She felt a little more at ease. Not sure why, but she thought it was that Stacie wasn't putting any pressure on her.
"You're such a perv!" Stacie laughed.
"Oh like you're not?!"
"Oh, no. I totally am. I just forgot how big of a perv you were back in college. You were the easiest to joke around with. Never took shit to heart. It was nice."
Beca laughed. If you only knew.
"Well. I'm gonna head down and get something to eat. Amy is going to be out for a while so I don't have to worry about her threatening me with crocodile meat for the time being."
Beca nodded and Stacie stood up. As she went to step away, Beca grabbed her wrist. "Wait. Um. I just wanna try something." Beca pulled the girl back down to sit on the bed. "No pressure right?"
"Right." Stacie added trying to calm her nerves.
Beca slid her hand behind Stacie's neck and pulled her in. Before their lips touched, Beca looked in Stacie's eyes and asked. "You sure?" Stacie gave a slight nod and Beca closed the distance. Electric shocks ran through both girls. Beca chalked it up to not being with someone like this in so long. Their lips moved together perfectly. Stacie turned to face Beca better, and ran her right hand into the smaller girls hair to pull her closer. Beca bit Stacie's bottom lip eliciting a moan from the taller girl. Once the noise escaped Stacie's mouth, Beca slid her tongue inside. They both ground at this. Stacie didn't try to dominate. She let Beca take whatever she wanted.
When the kiss finally broke for air, both girls were panting. Stacie looked Beca in the eyes and Beca smirked. "Did I take your breath away, Legs?"
Stacie laughed kind of hysterically, trying to hide how true that statement was. "Sure, Mitchell. How about that lunch?"
"Yeeeeees! I'm starving, dude!"
"I can imagine, pipsqueak. Let's go."
"You know, It's not my fault that your legs go on for days. Just because your mother is Aphrodite, doesn't mean you get to pick on the rest of us lower beings."
Stacie laughed. God, she's smooth. In a completely awkward but adorable way. How could Chloe fuck this up so bad?
Both girls headed downstairs trying to sort everything out in their head. Beca trying not to attack Stacie, because she was pretty sure that, that, wasn't part of the deal. And she was incredibly turned on. Stacie was a hell of a kisser. Stacie was trying to calm her libido as well, but also trying to lock her emotions up in a safe little box in her brain until Beca was ready to hear about them.