It has been an extremely long time since I updated this - over 2 1/2 years in fact. I have the usual reasons, I got caught up with other stories, work, homework (I took a year off from school, and then switched majors to something I actually enjoy), personal drama, and family stuff. I've actually had this chapter written out since September. But the reason it didn't get updated was because I lost my mom to cancer. If anyone is still reading this, and if any of you read "Raise The Curtain", you probably know my mom was diagnosed with cancer in 2014. Six weeks after losing her, I lost my 18-year-old cat to cancer as well. I chose to wait to update until I was in a better space, mental-health-wise. But I've been thinking about updating this story for a couple weeks, and finally decided to go ahead and do it. A huge thank you to my BFF and writing buddy, Jatieluv, who was there for me as much as she could be during the days leading up to my mom's passing, and has watched me go through so many ups and downs the last four months.

Disclaimer: Does anyone really own Big Time Rush anymore? I mean, really?

btrlover: I'm sorry you had to wait so long again for another update! As for what you're hoping, I guess you'll just have to read this chapter to find out ;)

Guest: Haha thanks for the review!

X: Here's the update!

Warnings: Language, teenagers fooling around, the usual.

Enjoy the chapter!

Chapter Fourteen - The Talent Show

Katie's POV

Once James left on Saturday, I met up with the rest of the girls' hockey team at Camille's house to rehearse our routine for the talent show. The first fifty times were horrible. The next twenty-five times were an improvement. The last fifteen times sucked rocks. Eventually we disbanded. We met up on Sunday and spent the day rehearsing. It was probably good for my mental health. I didn't have time to think about James.

But once Monday rolled around, I had to face him again. He was leaning up against his locker, chatting with Josh. James' eyes drifted towards me as I walked down the hall. Josh turned around to see what James was looking at, and his eyes lit up maniacally.

"Have you signed the girls' hockey team up for the talent show?" Josh asked me, lip curling up derisively.

"You know, you look just like Draco Malfoy. If Draco Malfoy was an ugly bastard," I added sweetly, waggling my fingers at him.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. So, have you signed up?" he repeated.

"Yes, I have," I responded. "So be prepared to be blown away by our routine. We're going to rock your socks off."

"Who the fuck says rock your socks off?"

"Me. You got a problem with that?"

Josh rolled his eyes. "Whatever. You're still going to get your ass kicked at the next game."

I smirked. "Big talk from a guy who can't get a date."

He sputtered indignantly and stomped off, leaving me alone with James.

"When did you sign up for the talent show?" James asked me.

"On Friday during lunch."

"Oh. Are you ready for it?"

"For the talent show?" I shrugged. "I guess. We've been rehearsing and stuff, so we should be fine."

"Cool." He stuffed his hands in his jeans' pockets. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Why?" I asked. "It's just going to be another song and dance routine. Nothing special."

He shrugged. "You honestly haven't figured out why?"

"That you want to see me make a fool of myself?"

James stared at me for a long moment. "If that's what you want to believe."

"You're acting weird. Is this because of…ya know…last week?" My cheeks flushed just from thinking about it. Part of me wished I could just erase it from my mind. The other part of me wanted to relive it over and over, like the song and dance for the talent show.

He gave me a long look. "You said yourself that that was just a temporary arrangement, a way for us to get rid of some of our aggression."

"Right. That's all it was. Nothing more than that."

He squared his shoulders. "Then why would the way you say I'm acting have anything to do with that?"

"Because it was all kind of a big deal and pretty…intimate. I mean, maybe not for you. You made it to third base with Devon," I snapped. "But it was still kind of a big deal for me. Not that it matters. It's done and it's over with and it's in the past."

"Are you trying to convince me or you?"

I blinked at him several times, before pushing past him to get to my locker. "You're such an arrogant asshole. I'm not in love with you!"

"No one ever said you were!" he snapped back. "And it's okay," he added in a softer voice, "if it was a big deal for you. It was kind of a big deal for me, too."

I stared at him. "How? How the hell could it have been a big deal for you? You have a new girlfriend every week. It's not like what we did was all that new and strange to you."

He opened his mouth to reply, but at that moment the bell rang, and he hunched his shoulders. "I'll see you in English." Before I could say anything else, he stalked off down the hall, disappearing in the hordes of students and vanishing from my line of sight.

I couldn't remember ever feeling so torn, or so in need of something I couldn't have. The next few days were sheer torture. Sitting in class with James was painful. Biology was a punishment dragged from the depths of hell. Sitting next to him, feeling his left leg brush against my right one, his hand occasionally touching mine, his gaze settling on me as often as mine rested on him, was enough to make me want to shove him onto his back on the table, and have my way with him right then and there. The sexual tension and frustration was off the meter, but neither of us was willing to tell the other that we wanted to go back to the way we'd been the week before. I had too much pride and dignity to give into him, and he would never admit that I was driving him crazy.

If it hadn't been for hockey practice and the talent show rehearsals, I probably would've lost my collective shit all together. But luckily, I had other stuff to focus on, and at least for a few hours in the afternoon I was able to push James to the back of my mind. In theory, anyway. Because the talent show rehearsals would have never existed without him; not to mention, hockey practice was getting more and more brutal, thanks to the tension leading up to our game with the boys. And that game wouldn't even be happening if it wasn't for James Fucking Diamond. In other words, he had invaded every single aspect of my life, and not thinking about him was about as easy as not thinking about falling while walking across a tightrope.

Thursday afternoon saw me and the rest of the girls' hockey team in the auditorium with the other talent show hopefuls, running through the performance. The talent show coordinator was Mrs. Greyson, our music and drama teacher. She flapped around the stage, winged glasses askew, beehive hairdo swaying dangerously like it was the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

She was a little scary and a little crazy and most of the talent show participants were trying to hide behind the others whenever she descended upon them, screeching at them to stand up straighter and sing from the diaphragm. Camille and I both tried to duck behind Kristen and Alexis, only to be pushed to the front again.

"I am never getting in the middle of one of your fights with James ever again," Kristen hissed at me.

"If I had known that fighting with him would lead to us having to sing an old cheesy song from the late '90s in front of the entire school, I might have tried to make nice with him. Maybe."

"Hindsight's supposed to be twenty-twenty. And you're still nearsighted when it comes to him!"

"Sorry?"

She shook her head. "Too late now."

The talent show took place on Friday evening after school. We had finally reached the point that day during rehearsal where we could get through the song and dance number without totally embarrassing ourselves, and there were a few moments where we actually sounded kind of good and looked like we knew what we were doing. We weren't going to win by any means, but at least we might not have our noses rubbed in our epic failure until we graduated.

That being said, all the girls made it very clear that they were pissed at me, and if we completely humiliated ourselves in front of the whole school, they would never speak to me again. It sounded fair. I would never speak to me again either if that happened.

"Just remember," I said to the rest of the girls as we changed into the matching outfits – skirts, sparkly tops, and sneakers – in a curtained section, "this is temporary. We will be out there for a total of three minutes. This. Is. Temporary. And tomorrow we're going to kick the guys' asses on the ice."

There was a lot of noncommittal grunting. I decided not to ask any of them to check whether I had lipstick on my teeth.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Kristen said as she applied the last of her makeup. "I can't believe you talked me into this. Katie, you should have just made out with James. That might have saved us from utter humiliation."

"Already done that," I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Camille wagged her eyebrows at me, and I mimicked zipping my lips closed to demonstrate to her that she needed to keep her mouth shut. What James and I had done was no one's business but our own, and it was a secret I was perfectly content with keeping close to my chest.

The chick who was performing before us was called out, and we finally all stood together as one. As a team.

"Whatever happens, I am so, so sorry I got you guys into this mess," I apologized. "I'll never make another bet with James Diamond after this, I swear."

"Just fuck him so the rest of us can live our lives quietly and peacefully, without stupid high school talent shows," Alexis grumbled.

"That's a lot easier said than done."

They all turned to glare at me.

"I'll try to make up with James," I promised.

Jo snorted. "Yeah, I see this going really well. You'll apologize, he'll apologize, five minutes later you'll either be screaming bloody murder at each other or making out violently. Bets on which is which."

"I'm betting ten bucks it'll be both," Stephanie said helpfully.

"I'll put in another five bucks that the clothes start flying," Mandy added.

"Wow. You guys are so loyal I just can't believe it," I deadpanned.

Allison smiled sweetly at me. "You got us into this, Katie. Get us out."

And then we were introduced. We scurried out onto the stage and struck our poses. The audience stretched out in front of us. The music began. And somehow we actually did okay. It wasn't amazing, it wouldn't get us a chair turn on The Voice, but we managed. We certainly weren't the worst act of the talent show. That particular honor went to the guy who tried to imitate duck sounds while singing Britney Spears.

"I can't believe we didn't completely screw that up!" Kristen cried in relief once we were backstage and out of the spotlight.

"I can't believe none of you tripped me," I commented.

"Well, we thought about it, but then we figured you'd just knock the rest of us down in the process," Stephanie explained.

"Wow, thanks for being, you know, selfish."

"Ugh," Jo crossed her arms. "Here come the boys."

I turned and sure enough, the boys' hockey team was headed our way. They stopped in front of us, and I propped my hands on my hips. James stood at the front, hands shoved in his jeans pockets. And damn him, he looked good. His black knitted shirt hugged his arms and torso, and a lock of hair fell into his eyes. I really hated him. And I really wanted to kiss him senseless.

"Something you wanted to say?" I asked, staring up at James.

"We just wanted to say you girls did a really good job. We wouldn't have done nearly as well."

"Yeah, you'd have some issues with pulling off a skirt. You don't really have the legs for it."

James' lips twitched. "Anyway, from one captain to another I wanted to say good luck tomorrow."

"Good luck," I replied.

He nodded, and then he led his team out, leaving us girls to change back into our street clothes. The others had plans with other friends and family, but I was just going home to dinner. I took my time, not sure how Kendall was going to act when I got home. Tomorrow was the second game, and we'd spent the last couple days snapping at each other, or just refraining from talking at all. Our parents had done their best to make peace between us, but it hadn't taken.

I buttoned up my coat, wrapped my scarf around my neck, and made my way out of the school. I was one of the last to leave, and the parking lot was nearly deserted.

James' car was parked next to mine and I furrowed my brow, wondering why he was still here. As I crunched my way through the snow, I spotted James leaning against his car, arms crossed. I came to a stop in front of him. "Why are you still here?"

"Waiting for you," was his response, and then his lips were on mine. I probably should have pushed him away, but all my willpower from the last week had completely crumbled like a broken cookie. I reached up to cup his face in my gloved hands, pulling him closer. This was so wrong. So bad. This was the last thing I should have been doing, especially when I was playing against him tomorrow. But this was the only thing I wanted to be doing right then. He was the only thing I wanted.

James pulled back, breathing heavily, his forehead resting against mine. "Tell me you didn't miss that," he challenged quietly. "Tell me you haven't been dying for that all week, waiting for the moment one of us cracked."

"I can't tell you that." I heard my voice quaver. "I wish I could, but I can't. I did – I did miss it." And damn it, if that wasn't hard to admit.

"Me too," he breathed out, the frost of his breath mingling with mine. His gloved hand found mine and his other hand rested on my hip. "I missed it so fucking much I cracked."

I grinned a little. "It was the skirt, wasn't it?"

He let out a laugh. "Actually it wasn't. I mean, I guess that was part of it but no, it wasn't the skirt. It's just been slowly building over the last week, and then I was backstage with you and I just wanted to – I wanted this. I wanted this so fucking much I stopped caring about our agreement."

I nodded slowly. It was how I had felt. He had just gotten to me first, instead of vice versa.

"My house is empty right now," James said, a hint of suggestion in his voice. "My mom's on another business trip, so it's just me."

My phone chimed with my mom's text tone and I let out a reluctant sigh. "I think they're expecting me home for dinner."

James looked at me fiercely. "Tell them you're going out with friends," he suggested.

I smiled for real. "But that's a lie."

"Really, it could mean anything."

"You're a really bad influence."

"Yes, I think we established this last week."

My stomach growled and James chuckled. "Okay, fine. I guess I should let you go home and eat."

"Yeah…James?"

"Hmm?"

"You could probably join us for dinner. If you wanted, I mean. I'm sure my parents won't mind. There's no point in you going back to a big empty house when you can hang out with us."

"I spent all last week with you guys," he pointed out. "I'm sure your parents are sick and tired of taking care of me."

"Well, let's ask them then." I dug my phone out and pulled off my glove. I texted my mom: "Hey, would it be okay if James came to dinner?"

A moment later she responded: "Of course! Tell him we're having meatballs!"

I showed him the text. "I think you're invited."

He smiled and leaned down to kiss me again. "Then I guess I better accept."

Kendall was a little surprised when his best friend showed up to dinner with his little sister, but he took it in stride. It was a shockingly peaceful dinner. When Mom asked how the talent show went, James said, "Katie and her friends were amazing." He even showed her a video of it he had taken with his phone.

I cringed the whole time, but James' eyes gleamed with pride.

James was once more invited to stay overnight, and after some prodding and persuading he agreed.

Kendall, being Kendall, conked out before the dinner dishes were even done, and my parents headed up to bed soon after, claiming that it had been a long day. And that left James and me alone with nothing to do. That was always a dangerous thing. When we were younger we got into the PG13 and R rated movies. Now we just fooled around in my bed.

But this time neither of us headed for the stairs. We just stood there in the living room, looking at each other.

"Kendall's going to kill me if I wake him up when I come into his room," James remarked.

"You didn't learn to be quiet the last time you had to sneak back into his room?" I asked.

"I've probably gotten out of habit."

"I don't know what they're thinking, constantly leaving us alone. It's a dangerous thing to do."

"You think so?"

"I know so. I've experienced it firsthand."

"It is kind of funny, though." James shrugged. "The only time we're not fighting is when we're making out."

"Freud would have a field day analyzing us," I snorted. "I wonder what he'd have to say about the last couple weeks."

"Probably that you really want to have sex with me but are too stubborn to admit it," he smirked.

"Or that you're dying to sleep with me, but you're not going to tell me."

"Oh no, I freely admit that I'm dying to have sex with you. You're the one who's in denial."

"I am not in denial!" I protested.

"So you admit you want to have sex with me?"

"Yes! No! Damn you, James!" And then I did what any sane person does when they're pissed. I flung myself at him, knocking him over onto the couch, kissing him fiercely. He caught me as we fell and he landed on the cushions with me on top of him. I could feel his body warm and solid against mine. Outside a strong breeze rushed past the window, the snow caught up in the tangle of wind. The lights were pleasantly dim in the living room, and the electric fireplace was still up, casting a warm glow throughout the room. And James. James was lying underneath me, one arm around my waist, his opposite hand cupping my cheek as he kissed me like it was the last thing he ever wanted to do. And I was kissing him back just as desperately, my lips tearing hungrily at his like I'd been starving for the last week. And in a way, I had been. I just hadn't quite realized it until this evening. How could I give this up now? How could I just let him go, let this end? I'd been going crazy without him, and he'd pretty much admitted he felt the same way. How could we just walk away from each other?

And just like that, I was forced to accept that this maybe went a little deeper than pure physical attraction. I couldn't hate him, couldn't even force myself to. But I was also terrified to dive into the feelings, the emotions, that seemed to be pushing me on. I didn't want to acknowledge just how much I actually liked him, and shoving them away seemed like the best solution for the time being.

But that didn't mean I was going to stop kissing him.

"You know," James mumbled against my lips, "it seems like every time I piss you off I end up on my back with you on top of me. And clothes usually come off at some point."

"Try not to piss me off tomorrow," I suggested, breaking the kiss. "It'll be really embarrassing when a five foot nothing girl takes you down on the ice."

"Depends on how you're taking me down," he retorted with a wide grin. "I have a couple ideas for that."

I slipped my fingers through his tangled hair and yanked just hard enough to earn a moan out of him. "Do you want to talk about tomorrow, or do you want to make out some more?"

He reached up, twining his fingers in a lock of my hair. "You drive a hard bargain." He gazed up at me, hazel eyes so deep and intense and full of – was that love? It couldn't be love – that I felt my heart clench in my chest.

"So which is it going to be, Diamond?"

"Get your lips down here, Knight," he ordered, and I brought my mouth down to meet his.

I can honestly say that clothes never came off that night. I can also honestly say that that had nothing to do with us, and everything to do with the fact that we were in the living room where anyone could happen upon us. It was bad enough that we spent most of the night on the couch, kissing deeply as our hands roamed each other's bodies, exploring over clothes, and then under as the time wore on. It would have been so much worse if my dad had walked in on us mostly naked with James' lips in a very compromising place.

Around one in the morning the kissing slowly tapered off, and I finally just laid my head on James' chest, eyes closed. I felt his fingers stroking my hair and his lips against the top of my head, and I had the sudden, most ridiculous thought: That if we made it out of this competition in one piece, we might actually have a chance of falling in love with each other. Of course it would never happen. But it could. Suddenly it was a possibility, and I could see a sunset horizon stretching out in front of me. We could date and kiss and fall in love. We could lose our virginity to each other and make love and go to the same college. We could live our lives together, so in love that nothing could ever stop us from getting what we wanted. And it was with that half formed thought in my head that I drifted off to sleep.

I was woken up abruptly by the sound of the bathroom door slamming upstairs. I jerked right up and nearly fell of the couch, while James' eyes popped open as if a gun had gone off.

We looked at each other with the same panicked expression: Oh shit.

"Want to just pretend that we fell asleep on the couch watching TV?" I asked him.

"Fine by me."

"Cool." I crawled off him and curled up into the corner of the couch, while James sprawled out. I flicked the TV on and turned the volume button down so that it was barely above mute. James and I did our best impression of sleep when my mom came downstairs a few minutes later in her bathrobe to start the coffee. My dad joined her in the kitchen soon after.

"Katie and James fell asleep watching TV?" I heard Dad asked Mom.

"That's what it looks like," Mom replied. "Though why they'd be watching the Shopping Network is beyond me."

James snorted into his hand and I swung my foot out to kick him.

"You don't think they were actually watching TV last night, do you?" Dad said.

"It's highly doubtful. I imagine they had other things to keep them occupied. They look pretty asleep to me now, though."

At least we knew our acting had paid off.

"Should we say something to them? I mean, I can only imagine the kind of things they got up to when James was staying with us last week."

"Nah, let's just let this play out. I could be wrong after all. They really may have fallen asleep watching an infomercial on Instant Pots."

"Or they could have been making out all night."

"You know, it did seem that when they were sneaking around last week they got along a lot better."

I nearly choked in my fake sleep. They knew?

"Well, maybe last night will hold them over long enough to keep them from killing each other," Dad grumbled. "But if they're going to have sex, it better not be on our damn couch, and I don't want to know about it!"

"Neither of them are stupid enough to have sex on the couch where we can walk in on them," Mom pointed out. "And once again, I could be very, very wrong."

"Let's hope you are. This is getting too complicated and too soap opera-y for my liking. And thank fuck, the coffee is ready."

"I brewed it extra strong. I have a feeling we're going to need it today."

Unfortunately, she was probably right.