19. Distracted

Lucy wanted to be mad at him, so very mad, but all she could think about was Arthur laying in her bed shirtless. It was a blasphemous thought, but by gods, was it a tempting one. She shook her head to shake these inappropriate thoughts from her mind.

''I'm sorry Arthur, but I think we've done enough talking for today. I just want to go back to the castle, take a hot bath, maybe read a book and go to bed.'' Lucy sighed dismally. She could barely stay looking at him without nearly losing all of her self control. But an even deeper emotional storm was brewing within her.

''Well that's fine,'' Arthur awkwardly shrugged, ''we can talk later.''

''I don't think we should talk later either. I don't know how to explain this.'' She looked away, the pain in her heart already developing.

''Explain what?'' He asked, confused. His baby blue eyes captivating her with curiosity and concern.

''I need some time, okay?" She sighed. "I have a lot going on and I just don't think its the best idea to get involved with you right now.'' She had never rejected someone before, none the less the King of England! It hurt more than she expected it would, but she needed to. She had to focus on getting stronger, finding her sister. She didn't understand how she could possibly do both at the same time.

''Oh.'' He blinked at her once, then twice. ''I understand.'' He nodded. The hurt was evident but his face didn't reveal it. He was much to admirable to admit a broken heart.

Lucy didn't need to see the pain to know it was there. ''I really like you Arthur, it's just...'' She stuttered, the pain penetrating deep into her own heart. How could the right thing to do hurt so much? It wasn't fair, she knew she didn't deserve him, but did it have to hurt so much.

''No, it's totally fine.'' He nodded again. ''I'm just gonna take a little walk. You should go and enjoy the rest of your night,'' he said, already slowly walking away.

''Arthur?!'' She called out to him as he turned his back and walked away. She had never felt so conflicted before. She had gotten what she had wanted, but for some reason it felt wrong. She had already regretted her decision but she couldn't take it back now. It was already said and done. Hanging her tired head low she trudged back to the castle.

After a hot bath and a humble plate of food, Lucy was sure she was ready for bed. She went to her room, got comfortable in bed, and laid there for several minutes, just staring at the ceiling. She couldn't stop replaying the conversation she had with Arthur just hours before. She tried to imagine what would have happened if it went the other way, but all she could see was the hurt hidden in his eyes. She berated herself for being so stupid.

She felt herself spiraling into a self induced misery and decided she was in need of a distraction. Sleep was only enjoyable if she could actually achieve it, but her mind was much too active tonight for such a victory. Instead she decided to go to her sanctuary, the library. There was one book she had been waiting for a opportunity to look at alone, and now seemed as good of a time as ever. She quietly tip-toed through the castle and carefully entered through the large wooden doors into the book-lined room. Comfort enveloped her and she smiled. This room felt like home. She went straight to the journal, now quite familiar with the shelves. She almost thought of herself as the keeper of the library as she had familiarized herself with the shelves' contents.

She took the desired book from the shelf and went to the chair by the fireplace. She set the book down on the end table and quickly lit the fireplace for warmth and light. Once the fire was roaring she got comfy in her favorite chair and opened the book. Before her lay so much potential, knowledge, and insight she couldn't wait to read it. The coded language translated before her eyes and this time she wouldn't shy away from the unknown.

To whom can read this, welcome. My name is Merlin and this is my journal. In it contains all the knowledge I have acquired in my tenure here in Camelot. Use this knowledge wisely and sparingly as all magick comes with consequences. Cause and effect. Push and pull. Life is full of these odd coincidences. Don't search for the truth, let the truth come to you.

I have lived many lives, but there is nothing like Camelot. Resting peacefully on the strongest ley line in the world, the heart of Great Britain is ruled by a humble but brave man named Uthur Pendragon. He was kind to me and my people, making Camelot a sanctuary for mages, shamans, medicine men alike. We were no longer shunned from the world.

All sorts of people flocked to the city, including a friend of mine, Hectate. She birthed three daughters. They were beautiful and gifted girls, named after celestials. The triplets were named Hestia, Goddess of home and family;

Hera, Goddess of sky;

Horae, Goddess of Seasons. The three had an incredible bond with each other but maintained separate personalities as they grew up. As they matured they began to dream with one another, awakening with a stunning amount of recollection of each others dreams.

Their greatest feat was a premonition, about war, death, and redemption. They prophesied a bloody and damaging war that would leave an entire population of mages and magickal beings ostracized and homeless. They also saw redemption in the form of a daughter marrying the future king, the rightful heir.

It wouldn't be long after that the sisters left home and spilt up. Their nightmares had still haunted me. They were too specific to not be true. War was coming and they wouldn't be safe within the city, but not all of them wanted to leave. I too stayed as long as I could but eventually I was called to protect the refugees fleeing the war-trodden city. Mordred had turned commoners away from the potential of magick. Man no longer under stood the difference between good and evil and its intentions. Fear was used to manipulate the people as Vortigern plotted against his brother for the throne. I could no longer stay in the city. Because of that I leave this journal in hope that whomever finds it can get some use of the knowledge I leave behind.

Camelot will know peace again. The rightful heir will rise.

Continue with caution.

Lucy closed the journal and stared at the fire intently. The flame flickered at her will. with a single thought the flame died and she got up from the chair and slid the book back in its place on the shelf. She went back to her room and stared at the ceiling. This time something different on her mind. Was the infamous Merlin her grandfather?

Author's Note:

Sunday's chapter is here! What do you guys think? Not gonna lie this chapter was kinda hard to write for so many reasons, definitely one I will have to put more work into when I rewrite this thing. Otherwise some more exiting chapters are coming up and those should go more quickly. (Hopefully.) Anyways I'm done rambling. I know nobody reads these things. Haha.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend, especially with fall on its way!

-Surviving (8/26)