28. Merlin

As Lucy approached the Table Room she could hear the voices of those inside. She never intended to overhear a conversation not meant for her but she could help but stop and listen anyway.

"You aren't suggesting what I think you are, are you?" Arthur asked skeptically.

"I left to consult with Merlin and our concerns remain the same. Lucy's power grows with great strength and no one knows the true extent of her powers. We want to take her back with us, train her and teach her how to properly control her potential." Mága explained.

"Why can't you stay and do that here? The castle is yours to use." Arthur retorted.

"I don't think that will be enough. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but until we truly understand what is going on I think it is best." Mága explained thoughtfully.

She couldn't explain what she was hearing but she knew it was enough to make her mad. She quickly but quietly left her spot in the Table Room entryway and made her way to the library instead. She felt a mess of emotions, of which wanted to make her scream and cry at the same time. Why did everyone think they knew what was best for her? She pushed the library doors open with a huff, anger still boiling inside her veins. What she wasn't expecting as she entered her sanctuary was to find a strange man standing in the middle of the library reading Merlin's journal. She was all but ready to explode. Nothing was sacred anymore.

The strange old man looked up from the book to inspect her, which he did with a half smile before he spoke. "You must be the troubled girl. I am Merlin." He introduced himself. Lucy had only stopped and stared. She couldn't believe her eyes, it was the man himself.

"Oh. Um, my name is Lucy, I am very honored to meet you." She all but gasped. Was there anymore surprises in store for her?

"I assure you I am no one special." He smiled friendly at her, "But I may be of some use."

"And by that you mean take me away?" Lucy asked, remembering despite his presence that they weren't here to help her.

"I have no such intentions. You belong here, in Camelot." Merlin replied.

"Then what do you want from me?" She asked with arms crossed over her chest defensively. She didn't want to be taken away when had so much yet to do.

He didn't reply to her, but rather continued to flip through his journal that he held in his hands.

After a long moment of silence he spoke, "Have you read through this yet?" He asked.

"Um," She said, taken a little off gaurd, "some. I havent had much time to myself."

"It feels as if it has been a lifetime since I had written this."

"I'm sure it was a long time ago."

"It was a time I will never forget." He looked up at her with a sad smile.

She didnt know what to say back so she just flashed him a heartfelt smile then turned away to look at something else. She had so many questions but didn't know how to voice any of them. She just wanted to read an escape from this reality.

"You look just like her you know?" Merlin spoke, catching Lucy's attention.

"Like who?" Lucy asked with a questioning eyebrow.

"Your mother of course." He replied.

"You knew her?" Lucy asked.

Merlin didn't have time to respond as suddenly Arthur burst through the library doors.

"Aha! I knew I would find you here. Why did you leave when I told you I was coming back?" Arthur asked Lucy, slightly frustrated with her.

"You were taking too long, I got bored." Lucy replied without sparing him a glance as she looked for a book she hasn't read yet.

"Well I need to talk to you about something?" Arthur sighed and Merlin cleared his throat behind him. Arthur spun around quickly and faced the man. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."

"I think it is best you leave us to be right now." Merlin nodded.

Arthur squinted his eyes at the man skeptically. He couldn't possibly be serious. He should be able to talk to Lucy if he wanted to.

"Please go, I will come find you when I'm done here." Lucy said, coming up beside him and gently resting her hand on his arm, instantly grabbing his attention.

"Are you sure? I don't want you doing anything you're not comfortable with."

"I'm sure, I will see you soon." She flashed him a friendly and reassuring smile. He nodded in return, bid Merlin goodnight, then left the library peacefully. No longer than a moment after he was gone, Merlin spoke, "His love for you is strong and deep."

"Yes, so I have been told."

"Do you not love him in return?"

"I don't understand how I can give myself to someone who I barely know."

"You say that, but it is not the truth."

"What?"

"Your conflict is much deeper and more personal than simply his affections toward you."

"Please, explain?" She asked skeptically.

"You were just in the void, were you not?" He inquired curiously.

"Yes..."

"And what did you see while you were in there?" He encouraged her.

"I saw my family and Arthur's crowning." She answered.

"And what do those two things have in common?" He inquired.

"I don't know? Nothing?" She shrugged.

Merlin chuckled to himself, "You were the common denominator, my dear girl."

"And what about me?" She retorted, slightly offended.

"I don't know, you tell me." He replied mysteriously.

She needed to think about this. Why did it matter that she was the common denominator? Was he staying that all of this was her fault? But she hasn't done anything wrong. It wasn't fair, having to decrypt his words.

She pondered each scenario more, thinking about why each one was significant. All that she could say for sure was they were memories she enjoyed but in the void they were so much different that what she had experienced the first time through. The void changed them, made them more vivid. She felt so doubtful. Doubtful of the happiness she thought she was experiencing, that it was all just a trick being played on her by her own mind. She wanted her family, and she wanted Arthur, but did she really deserve that happiness?

What has she really done? She has abandoned her sister, not once has she even attempted to go out and look for herself. She was brought here to be the Kings Tailor but has yet to sew or even patch a single piece of clothing for him. And what was getting to her most of all was she was supposed to be this strong and powerful witch and yet she has done nothing to actually do anything meaningful with her potential. She felt like a failure and upon that realization, she knew why she didn't want Arthur's affections, because she knew she wasn't worth it.

"I am a failure." She finally spoke after concluding her thoughts.

"And why do you feel that way?" Merlin asked.

"Because all I can seem to do it let people down, including myself." She sighed, avoiding eye contact with the man.

"Having weaknesses does not make you a failure, it makes you human." He replied to her.

"Being human isn't an excuse. I'm supposed to be strong and be this prophecy everyone seems to be talking about and I don't know anything. I am literally a walking mess."

"That may be true, but no great destiny is as natural or easy as it is told in stories. It is often very personal and trying. One must overcome their fears and insecurities in order to conquer those weaknesses and turn them into strengths." Merlin consoled her thoughtfully.

She thought about what he had said, noting that there weren't many, flaws in his logic, if any at all. Moreover she was upset that he was right which meant admitting that she, herself, was wrong.

"And if that is truly the case, then what do you suggest?" She asked hesitantly. Deep in her mind she already knew the answer, but she needed to hear him said it.

"If it were me in your position, I would consider returning with us back to our sanctuary deep in the Eildon Hills. I promise you will be safe there with us while we teach you to control and wield your powers. You possess more potential than you know." He answered honestly and sincerely.

"And what do you know about my potential?" I asked skeptically. How did he know so much about me?

"I know your mother, remember?" He smiled cheekily.

Author's note:

Yay! Another update! Things are getting serious guys, I hope you're okay with this. I have lots of plans and fitting them in as quickly as I would like doesnt work out as great once you start writing the scene. Like these things that time, so yeah. I hope you enjoy, there will definitely be more Arthur in the next chapter.