An American Ninja in Konohagakure
A Naruto fanfiction by Andrew Joshua Talon
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan based parody. Naruto is the property of Shonen Jump, Viz and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release.
The boy took the full story of his home, his parents and his lineage with surprising calm. He sat there, fidgeting only a little. His cup of tea was untouched. Frankly, Sarutobi wasn't surprised. Minato had made sure to send the boy somewhere he would be safe. Somewhere free of war, of conflict.
Frankly, from the items on the boy's person, the construction of his clothing, how well fed and tall he was... Wherever he had gone, he had turned out all right.
If only you could see him now, Minato, Sarutobi thought. He could see the expressions on both Kakashi and Jiraiya-They were staring at the boy like Minato and Kushina had returned in the flesh.
The boy though... he was so quiet. It didn't make any sense.
At long last, after Jiraiya finished relating the nature of the seal and the Kyuubi within him, Naruto finally set his tea cup down.
"Okay," Naruto began, taking a deep breath. "So you're saying that I'm from this world. Which isn't Earth, and has magic called... Chakra."
Sarutobi nodded. "Yes."
"Which lets you have superpowers," Naruto continued, with the tone of someone humoring the insane. Kakashi nodded with an eye smile.
"Yes."
"And my dad was the leader of this particular village of... Superpowered magic ninjas," Naruto went on, waving his hands. "And my mom was... Another ninja. And some jerk with a magic ninja eye thing let loose the demon fox from inside her the day I was born."
"Exactly," Sarutobi confirmed.
"And so they put the killer fox demon inside me," Naruto said, "but doing so, they died. And somehow, I was sent to Earth as a baby by the same ninja magic that sealed the giant fox into me."
"Exactly correct," Jiraiya said.
"Well... This... This is heavy," Naruto managed, his eyes suggesting some hidden meaning to the phrase. Sarutobi raised an eyebrow.
"It is? How?" He pointed at the still untouched teacup in Naruto's hands. "It isn't that massive."
Naruto began to laugh hollowly, and slowly dropped the tea cup. It shattered from the impact, the tea staining the carpeted floor. He stood up, and walked over to the nearby wall. He began to beat his head against it.
"Huh. He's taking this well," Kakashi said wryly.
"I know it sounds impossible, child," Jiraiya said. "But what else could the truth be?"
"That this is crazy and your world is crazy and everything else is crazy?!" Naruto gasped. "I mean... How the hell am I supposed to take all this? You yanked me away from my home, and brought me here against my will-I mean, what the hell do you want?!"
"We wanted to bring you back," Sarutobi said quietly. "We wanted... To bring you home." Sarutobi sighed. "Please understand Naruto. Your father... Your mother... They were family to us. Friends. You... You were our responsibility, after they died."
"We wanted to bring you home," Kakashi said. "Not to make you miserable."
"Besides," Jiraiya added, "truth is a precious commodity in our world. Wouldn't you feel better, knowing where you came from? Who you really are?"
"Who I am is Naruto Nelson! I'm from Earth! I live in Firestone, Colorado! My dad is Robert Nelson! My mom is Mary Nelson! I have an older brother named Nathan! A home on Lafayette street! A dog named Einstein! I'm not-I'm not supposed to be here! And I don't have a freaking demon in my stomach! THIS ISN'T REAL! THIS ISN'T REAL!" He shouted, smashing a vase in his anger. He panted softly, feeling rage. Anger that burned like flame, flowing through his veins...
A mirror was held up in front of his eyes. He started-They had turned red, slitted like a cat's. Kakashi slowly lowered it, the moment the red receded. All three men stared at him. Naruto took deep breaths.
"... The Fox can rise when you are particularly agitated," Jiraiya said calmly. Naruto covered his face.
"Oh God... Oh God," he mumbled, taking further deep breaths. He struggled to calm himself, and Sarutobi allowed the boy his time. It was not something to take lightly, after all... Your entire world being turned upside down.
"I... Can I... I mean... Can I ever go home?" Naruto asked.
"I'm sorry, but-" Kakashi began, but Sarutobi held up a hand.
"The jutsu we used... Well, it required the chakra of the Kyuubi you contain," Sarutobi said. "Nobody else could go through it... Not without dying."
"But the portal is still there," Jiraiya said with a smile. "And energy has to go through it, right? Maybe we could set up a method of communication-"
"Energy? Like... Like radio waves?" Asked Naruto. Jiraiya nodded.
"Well yes-"
"You guys have radios? And-And computers?" Naruto asked. Kakashi nodded, raising an eyebrow.
"You have those? Yes. Getting one here will be a bit difficult-They're very large and cumbersome in our world-"
Naruto rummaged in his orange and blue jacket. He pulled out a small, plastic tablet with a smooth screen. He tapped it, and the screen came to life. Icons appeared. Naruto tapped a few buttons, and a strange screen appeared. He held it up, and the device flashed. He turned it around, showing the three shocked ninjas their self portrait.
"That answer your question?" Naruto asked with a grin.
The clearing where the portal stood was filled with activity. Ninja putting up walls, a few civilians working on setting up boxes of equipment. And in the center, Naruto sat with his phone. Like many a young man, he was hoping for a signal. Anything at all.
"Can you hear me now? No? Bad," he mumbled. He looked up at the sound of footsteps.
A tall man with the same pale eyes as Hinata approached, the ninja engineers parting for him. Naruto guessed he was somebody important. Sarutobi smiled at his appearance, and turned to greet him.
"Hiashi-san, wonderful to see you," Sarutobi said. The tall man inclined his head respectfully.
"Hokage-sama. I came as quickly as I could." He cast his lavender eyes on Naruto, one elegant eyebrow rising. "There was an intruder in the compound who bothered my heiress."
"Um... Sorry," Naruto said quickly. "I didn't know... I mean, I just here. I was trying to find some help, because these guys kidnapped me."
Hiashi's other eyebrow went up. Naruto held his hands up.
"She really helped me! She was very kind to me! Especially to some guy who just fell on her... I didn't mean to do that!"
"You know, such an encounter might make you two engaged," Jiraiya said wryly, smirking a bit. Naruto yelped.
"What?! NO! Hell no!" He shook his head. "I'm too young to get married, uh...!" At Hiashi's intense stare, he gulped. "I mean, not that I wouldn't want to get married to Hinata! She seems very nice, very helpful-!"
"Hokage-sama, why is this foreign child even here?" Hiashi asked. He wasn't even dignifying the bad joke, which helped Naruto calm down.
Sarutobi chuckled. "Hiashi, this Naruto... Uzumaki," he said significantly. The old man smirked. Hiashi's eyes rose. He looked more intently at Naruto, and the blonde boy fidgeted.
"Byakugan!" Veins bulged on the sides of his eyes, and his pupils became visible. Naruto started, stepping back.
"Uh... Are... Are you okay?" Naruto asked. "You've got bulging veins..."
"This is the Byakugan. The bloodline limit of the Hyuuga clan," Hiashi explained, as though speaking to an idiot. Which, Naruto imagined, he thought he did a lot. "It allows me to see in other frequencies of light, and see chak-" He stopped, and Naruto felt his gaze on his stomach. The blonde covered his groin.
"You have X-Ray vision?!" Naruto yelped. "Wow! Cool!"
"And you contain-" Hiashi began, but Sarutobi held a hand up. The Hyuuga clan leader took a deep breath.
"I understand, Hokage-sama," Hiashi said softly. He looked him over. "Obvious... In hindsight." He looked over at the portal, and nodded. "I trust this is where he has been?"
"Yes, it is," said Jiraiya. "We're working on a way for him to communicate. Can you see the wavelength of the radio wave from the phone?"
Hiashi studied the device. "Yes... It appears to be about three handwidths," he said. "And cycles a thousand times a second."
"Oh!" Said another ninja, this one wearing a lab coat. "That's simple!" He pulled out an antenna and adjusted it. Additional ninja worked on the device, turning it into a miniature transmitter tower. He bent another piece of metal towards the portal, and smiled. He gave a thumbs up to the Hokage.
"I think it should work, now," the ninja said with a smile. Sarutobi turned to Naruto.
"Well Naruto?"
Naruto hummed, and held his cell phone up to the antenna. He sucked in a breath... And a bar appeared.
"YES!" He cried, pumping his fist. He quickly dialed the home number. "Come on, come on..."
Ring... Ring...
"Naruto?!"
"Mom! Mom, it's me!" Naruto shouted. He grinned.
"Naruto! Where are you? Are you all right?"
Naruto looked around at the ninja wizards around him. He sighed.
"That's... Complicated. Maybe we should try video phone? I don't think you'll believe me otherwise..."
It took the tech... Ninjas a while to figure everything out, but after Naruto patiently explained the signal and the tech guys on the other side of the portal threw in their input, a cathode tube-ray television set was set up, and linked to the video signal from the portal through the cellphone.
It was complicated jury rigging, and Naruto didn't understand most of it. But he took comfort that he could soon see the scared faces of his parents and older brother on the screen-As well as several personnel in suits, uniforms and labcoats in the background.
There was back and forth between the Hokage and the guys in suits, explaining some things about their worlds. It was all very general, and Naruto wondered for a time why they wouldn't get into specifics. It wasn't like... Well, he guessed it was basically first contact. Just not with bug eyed aliens-Just humans with superpowers.
Freaky superpowers that let them see through solid objects, and summon toads, and teleport, and-
Okay yeah, Naruto could understand why his planet would be terrified of this world.
By and by though, his mother and his father glared more and more death at people off screen. Until finally, Sarutobi noticed it, and cleared his throat.
"Well... Now that the basics are established," Sarutobi said, "I think we should let Naruto and his family reconnect-"
"Hi Mom! Hi Dad! Hi Nathan!" Naruto cried, sliding in front of the hokage. His parents were able to see the bemused expression on the old man's face, which helped them relax a little.
"Thank God you're safe," his mom-Mary, he identified for the ninjas-breathed, looking relieved. His father also relaxed, though not nearly as much. Nathan shot Naruto a smile, the kind of smile that he'd seen on his face when Naruto had been in for a dentist's appointment and he'd been scared.
"He is," Sarutobi said. "Please, let me assure you of this fact. The last thing we want is Naruto to be harmed." He rested his hands on Naruto's shoulders. He tensed a little, but the old man did genuinely seem to be kind. So it didn't last long. "He's..." He glanced around the crowded room. "Out please."
The tech nins, the guys in masks-Everybody aside from Kakashi and Jiraiya cleared out. Naruto gasped, and he heard a few in the background of the TV set. Yeah, ninjas were fast...
"He's the last link we have to a man named Minato Namikaze," Sarutobi said. "And Kushina Uzumaki... They were... Like family. To all of us."
Kakashi and Jiraiya nodded, suddenly stoic. It occurred to Naruto they might not want to share their feelings.
His mother scowled.
"So he sent his only son to an unknown world?! A newborn baby with some kind of-of monster locked inside of him?!" Mary demanded. "What kind of parent does that?!"
"The kind who does not know who he can trust anymore," Kakashi spoke, his eye meeting Mary's evenly. "This village had become dangerous. The people who released the Kyuubi from his mother were... Well... In the village. But their line has been extinguished."
"So that justifies you kidnapping him?!" Mary demanded. Rob, his father, rested a hand on Mary's. Naruto's mother calmed a bit, but continued to match glares with Kakashi. Rob spoke now.
"We appreciate... That you'd want to bring him back," Rob said. "But he is our son. We raised him ourselves, we love him. And we want him back."
"I would never think of denying Naruto his family," Sarutobi said earnestly, "please, believe me. But the power he contains..." He shook his head. "There is nothing on your world that could help you contain it. No one to help him train to control it. We can."
"By making him into a child soldier?! A weapon?!" Mary demanded. Jiraiya glared, looking offended.
"He is not a weapon! Minato never wanted that for his son!" Jiraiya growled. "And neither do we! But... The fact of the matter is, his power is incredible. Isn't it better to train him in how to use it, than to let it go unfulfilled?"
"Our son is not your soldier," Rob said evenly. Sarutobi held up his hands.
"Please, everyone, calm," he said gently. He shook his head, and sighed. He removed his hat, and rubbed his balding head. "Understand, Mary-dono, Rob-dono... If I had my way, no ninja would ever kill. No ninja would ever need to. And we take great steps to prevent young ninja from getting involved in such missions." He rested his hat on his knee, his gaze old and weary.
"The majority of ninja active right now have known only rescue, aid and economic support missions," Sarutobi said. "They do not draw blood until they are eighteen-"
"I don't WANT my son to draw anyone's blood-!" Mary growled, but a squeeze of Rob's hand cut her off. His expression was just as stormy though.
"My son... Should not be forced into any situation like that," Rob said. Sarutobi sighed.
"I understand that... But while he is here, his power needs to be trained." He sucked in a deep breath. "We are in a time of peace. And for the forseeable future, that will not change. I cannot promise eternal peace... But I can promise to keep him from such things if it is in my power to do so."
"And the fact is," Kakashi said evenly, "we can't send him back... Until he learns how to control it himself."
"... Naruto? What do you want?" Rob asked. Mary tensed, her eyes pleading with him.
Naruto looked at the old men, these ninja. They saw things in him he didn't know, things he couldn't know. And he looked back at his parents, his family-His home.
"... Mom, Dad... Nate," he began, "these people are nuts. No doubt about it... But..." He shrugged. "But I... I do want to know where I came from... And how to avoid this... This Kyuubi thing going Alien on me."
Kakashi raised an eyebrow. The older ninja didn't react.
"... And if I'm stuck here," Naruto continued, "I need to figure out how to not be unstuck here. Right? Besides..." He grinned. "I'm like... Superman! Or Neil Armstrong! Or... Or kind of both!"
"Or Star Lord," Nate suggested. HIs parents glared at him, and he coughed. "Sorry..."
"And there's so much we can both learn from each other," Sarutobi went on. "Naruto... Is functionally an ambassador between our worlds."
"He's ten years old," Mary said softly. Naruto glared.
"I know I am mom... But... But they could have just lied, and kept me from talking to you, right?" He nodded. "I think... I think we should give them a chance. Both of us, ya know?"
Naruto then allowed himself a grin.
"Besides... I kind of want to learn how to breath fire. It's awesome!"
There was a lot of discussion, in and out of the camera's view. Naruto didn't catch most of it. He began to worry, and fidget. He hated seeing his mother so upset. He saw she was barely keeping herself from leaping through the portal to get him. His father... He was trusting him.
It felt good.
Finally, they turned back to the camera. Mary looked a little grim, but committed.
"He communicates with us, once a day," Mary said. "You tell us everything you're teaching him, and how you're doing it."
Sarutobi nodded. "That is all absolutely reasonable," he said.
"And one day... You come back to us, Naruto," Mary said. "You promise?"
Naruto smiled, and very slowly nodded.
"I promise..."
Maybe a bit rushed, I will admit. But there's a pace to this story I want to maintain. So, here it is: We come to the next time skip, to two years later.
But before then, there will be a few omake chapters detailing Naruto's Earth-bound life...